Present-Day

We've been walking for ten minutes and the Go-karting place is nowhere in sight. "Are you sure this is the right way?" Devin asks.

I glare at him. "I don't fucking know. Daniel said two blocks to the left."

"But we've walked two blocks—"

"I know," I cut him off. I sigh as I look around. I've called Daniel and Zack a few times, but they're probably too busy doing laps around the track to pick up. "Fuck."

"Where exactly are we going?" Devin asks. We're walking next to each other and his arm has bumped mine twice. And I know I shouldn't notice or care, but I do. I can't get it out of my head. I can't get him out of my head.

"Go-karting," I tell him absentmindedly as I look around. Devin laughs and I look at him. "What?"

He shrugs. "Go-karting seems so random. And Juvenile."

"Shut up," I mutter. "It sounds fun and exciting."

Devin's arm bumps into mine and my heart skips a beat. "Where did you even come up with that idea?" he asks.

I shrug. "Zack came up with it."

"That makes sense," Devin says and I frown as I look at him.

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"I don't know. Zack seems kind of...juvenile," he says.

I roll my eyes. "He's not. And why do you care?" I ask. "Plus, have you met TJ? He still has the maturity of an eighteen year-old."

"Fair enough," Devin mutters. We're walking around aimlessly After a few minutes, Devin says, "I guess we're officially lost."

"You know, it's your negative attitude that's holding us back," I tell him and amusement spreads over Devin's face.

"Oh, really?" he says. "It's me."

"Yeah. You should try to be more positive," I say. A smile tugs at my lips and I try to suppress it. "I'm gonna start calling you Devin Downer."

Devin laughs and I hate how it makes my stomach feel warm. "That's really nice," he says.

The wind blows strongly and I shiver. It's not that cold, but 55 degrees in a small dress and strong wind doesn't feel warm. Before I can even say anything, Devin's taking off his jacket and handing it to me.

"You don't have to—" I start but he cuts me off by draping it around my shoulders. His hand brushes my shoulder and I shiver. "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it," Devin says. I sigh as I slip my arms into the jacket. I don't know how he smells the exact same, but it's like I'm suddenly remembering everything from highschool.

And then I'm trying to shake myself because I can't remember what it's like.

"This was a poorly thought out plan," Devin says.

"Shut up. And it wasn't," I tell him. I pause as I look around and then at Devin. He's smiling slightly and his grey eyes look bright. He looks amused. And happy? "Fuck. Okay, maybe it was, but only because I didn't go with Zack and Daniel to the place."

Devin shrugs. "How do you know that they got there?"

I pause for a minute and stare blankly at Devin. And then he laughs. "What?" I ask.

"You look so mad," he tells me. And then I laugh even though I didn't want to.

"Shut up." I look around again. "Hey, do you see that?" I ask Devin.

He looks away from me. "See what?"

"I don't know. It looks like someone running?" I tell him as I point down the street. There's like a flash of something dark.

"Huh. Yeah. It does look like someone running," Devin says as a car speeds past us and turns the corner sharply. It looks like they're chasing the person running. "Is that car going after the...?"

"Yeah." We're both watching the car in fascination. "Wait," I say slowly.

Devin looks at me. "What?"

"Isn't that TJ's car?" I ask and then my eyes widen. "Oh shit. That's fucking TJ's car."

"Who would TJ be chasing?" Devin asks as my phone buzzes.

"Daniel wants to face time," I say. Devin shrugs and I answer the call. "Daniel, where the fuck are you—"

"Run!" Daniel yells. And then I can start to make out that Daniel's running because his phone won't stay still.

"Why?" I ask. "Are you and Zack—"

"You better fucking run or something," Daniel tells me quickly. It seems like he's out of breath.

"Why?"

"Because fucking TJ is trying to get us!" Daniel says. Devin and I look at each other.

"What's he gonna do? Yell at us?" I ask.

"No, he's fucking—" Daniel starts but then he shrieks and the phone gets yanked away. There's rustling and then TJ's face.

"Riley, I'm gonna get you—" he starts but I end the call quickly and then look up at Devin.

"Oh, fuck," I say. "Do you think we should run? And TJ isn't actually gonna get us, he's just gonna be mad—"

"We should probably run," Devin says.

I shrug. "Or we could stay here and hide. TJ isn't scary."

"Yeah, but his driving is," Devin tells me. He looks down the street. "I have an idea."

"What?"

Devin shrugs. "We should find the go-karting place. That's the last place TJ's gonna look."

"That's smart. Except, we can't figure out where it is," I say. Devin and I are walking down the block but I don't know where we're going.

"That's true," Devin says as he looks over his shoulder. He stiffens and then looks at me. "Plan B it is."

Before I can ask him what Plan B is, my back is against the wall and I'm staring up at Devin. His arms are braced against the wall above me. And he's so close. There's only centimeters separating us and I'm staring at him. His grey eyes are dark hair and I'm surprised that he can't hear my heart beating.

"What are you doing?" I ask breathlessly. Is he going to kiss me? Am I going to let him? Should I pull away?

"Plan B," Devin says. And then right behind him I see TJ's car.

"Oh." I look up at Devin. "He's right behind us."

"I guess we have to sell it," Devin mutters and then he moves his face closer to mine. I can't breathe and I feel like my heart's gonna beat out of my chest. I know what he's doing. He's making it look like we're a couple so that TJ drives by without seeing us.

But I can't think straight because Devin's so close to me and we're almost touching. My breathing is shaky and then I do something beyond stupid. I put my hands on his chest. I can feel his heart beating quickly and we're both not saying anything. I slide my hands up his chest and around his neck. I rub my thumb against the back of his neck, right where his hair is. Devin leans into me and drops his face into the crook of neck. My eyes flutter shut and I don't know what we're doing.

But I can't stop. It feels so good to be close to him and I can tell myself it's just to escape TJ. It doesn't mean anything. It gives me an excuse. Devin's lips brush my neck lightly and I almost fall apart. I'm trying not to react but it's not working. My eyes flutter shut again and I tighten my grip and press closer to him.

His lips brush my neck again and move slowly upwards. It feels like my head is spinning. This can't be happening. But it is and Devin's getting closer to my lips. I swallow and move my hand into his hair. I feel his hands on my waist and my dress feels so thin. I shift into him again and press my chest against his.

What am I doing? What are we doing? I know I should pull away because I can't let this happen again. But I can't seem to think of a reason why it's wrong when it feels so right. It feels so natural and I've wanted this for so long. I've wanted him for so long. Seven fucking years and I still fall apart when he touches me. I feel him kiss my jaw softly and now his lips are so close to mine. God, this is so wrong but it feels so right.

But then memories flash across my mind and it doesn't feel so right. Fuck. I can't do this, but I also can't make myself stop. It's just like high school when I couldn't let myself admit my feelings toward him.

"I think TJ's gone," I say. My voice sounds shaky. Devin doesn't say anything for a minute, his lips are still lingering on me. "We should go back to the church and pretend like we never left."

"Sounds good," Devin says as he pulls away. I'm kicking myself because I know it's going to be so awkward now. I have to find a new reason or way to put my walls up.

*******************

I'm leaning casually against a wall when TJ, Zack and Daniel come into the church. Devin and I managed to retrace our steps and it wasn't as awkward as I thought it was going to be. We mainly just walked in silence.

"Hey," I say, trying not to smirk. "Where were you guys?"

TJ stares blankly at me. "I fucking know you were in on this."

"I thought we weren't supposed to swear," I tell him. Daniel and Zack both smirk even though they're looking at the ground.

"God, you guys are so immature," TJ says as he shakes his head. Ana walks over to us.

"Are you done playing detective yet?" she asks TJ. He shrugs and she rolls her eyes. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Yeah," TJ says. "I'll text you about where we should stop for dinner."

"Okay. Bye, love you," she says as she kisses him on the cheek.

"I love you more," TJ calls after her with a dopey smile on his face. He looks at me, Daniel and Zack. "Are you clowns ready to go?"

I grin. "Yeah."

I look over at Ana and I see Devin talking to Naomi. I look away and grin at Zack and Daniel. "What the fuck happened?" I ask them quietly as we follow TJ to the car.

"I have no idea," Zack says.

Daniel grins. "Man, that was fucked up. Zack and I split and then TJ followed me. And then he tried to find you, but we found Zack instead."

"You were smart to go back to the church," Zack tells me. We're all grinning

"Thanks," I say. And then I hit Zack and Daniel on the chest. "But you guys are assholes for leaving without me. I couldn't figure out where the fuck the place was."

Zack frowns. "Didn't Daniel tell you two blocks to the right?"

"He said two blocks to the left," I say as I stare blankly at Daniel.

"Hey! It's not my fault that I'm directionally challenged," Daniel says defensively. I grin as I roll my eyes.

"Whatever."

TJ turns around and tosses the keys to Zack. "You're driving," TJ says.

Daniel and I look at each other. "The front seat is mine, bitch!" I yell at him and we both bolt to the car. Daniel manages to get to the handle first and I try to shove him to get it and we both end up trying to push the other away with our bodies.

"I'm not sitting in the back seat!" Daniel says.

"I'm not sitting in the middle!" I tell him.

Daniel pauses for a second. "Who's jacket are you wearing?"

I blush as I look down. And then Daniel shoves me out of the way and manages to open the door. "Hey, you fuck—" I start.

"Are you guys done yet?" Devin asks. I look over the car. Before I say anything, Daniel grins at me and shuts the car door.

"You fuck," I mutter. I look at Devin. "Yeah. I guess we're done."

Devin walks over to my side of the car and my heart starts beating quickly. "You don't want the middle, right?" he says.

I shrug. "Yeah, but you're not gonna fit," I tell him. "Do you want your jacket back?"

"No," Devin says as he opens the door and sits in the middle seat. I frown slightly and then slide in next to him. That was nice. My hand brushes his waist when I buckle my seat belt. I pull away quickly and then look out the window.

"How come you're not driving?" Daniel asks TJ.

TJ shrugs. "I wanted to take a nap. And I can text Ana," he says. TJ grins. "Did all my buddies have a nice weekend?"

"Yeah, except for you chasing me in your fucking car," Daniel says.

Zack laughs. "Yeah. Same."

"I had fun except for my roommate," I tell TJ.

"Man, you guys are all so negative. What's up with that?" TJ says. He looks at Devin. "What about you?"

Devin shrugs and his shoulder bumps mine. "I had fun."

"Good," TJ says. He leans back in his seat and pulls out his phone.

My eyes start to get heavy and I swear silently. If I'm going to sleep, I can either lean my head against the window or against Devin. I shut my eyes and try to lean against the window. I have a feeling it's going to turn into a late night and I have work tomorrow. I might as well sleep now.

I can't believe Devin almost kissed me.