Present Day

"Shit," I mutter and turn around, hitting TJ's chest.

"Come on, Riley," he says. We're having dinner with the bridesmaids and Ana. But since we left later than they did, we haven't seen the house yet.

The restaurant is fancy, everyone is dressed up and I'm in a sweatshirt and jeans. I'm not in the mood to get judged.

"I just," I start and sigh, tugging on my hair. I glance through the window of the restaurant. "I don't want them to whisper about me."

"Who's them?" TJ asks.

"The—forget it," I mutter. TJ frowns and raises his eyebrows, but walks in. Devin and Daniel follow him. But Zack smiles and touches my shoulder.

"Don't worry about them. It's Naomi, right?" he says. I nod. "She's just jealous of you."

"It just sucks, you know? We should have left that shit in high school," I tell Zack.

He smiles. "Yeah. But for some reason, I don't see you as being a mean girl in high school," Zack tells me.

I shake my head. "Oh, I wasn't. It was just me and Dev—" I cut myself off. "Uh, we should go inside."

Zack frowns but doesn't say anything. I sigh as people through odd glances my way. We walk over to the long table that holds all of the wedding party. I sit on the end, with Zack to my left. Devin, unfortunately, is sitting across from me. Naomi is next to him.

She sighs in disgust when she sees me and tosses her hair. I roll my eyes. I feel a hand on my leg and look at Zack. He smiles and I smile back.

Zack's nice, he's sweet and considerate. And he's handsome. Dark blue eyes, copper hair and tan skin. I don't know...he's nice.

"So, what is it that you do, Ryan?" Naomi says. I look around and take a drink of my water.

"Who's Ryan?" I ask.

She frowns, pursing her lips. "You are."

"I'm Riley," I say, my voice impartial. I can't let her know she bothers me. "But I'm a Graphic Designer. Why do you ask?"

Naomi shrugs. "I just thought you'd be...a woman of the night," she says.

I start laughing. "What? Like a prostitute? You're too cute," I say.

She shrugs. "It's your hair, I think. You just seem trashy."

I roll my eyes. "That's rich, coming from you."

Zack snickers and I smirk, taking another drink of my water. I glance at Devin and he's staring his water glass.

"Well, whatever," Naomi says. "How do you even know Ana?"

I shrug. "I met her through TJ." I stare at her. "Any other questions?"

She tosses her hair over her shoulder again. "How long have you known Devin?"

I feel heat rushing to my cheeks. I didn't think she'd ask about him. I look at Devin and he's staring intently at me with his stormy grey eyes.

"I don't know him," I tell her, my voice doesn't shake. Something changes in Devin's face. It seems like he wants to say something.

"So, you're not together then?" Naomi asks.

"No," I say. It's obvious why she's asking about him. "Anything else?"

She looks away from me and at Devin. "Are you with anyone?"

Devin looks at me and I look at the table. My heart is beating too fast in anticipation of his answer. He probably has a girlfriend. He's Devin. Devin always had girls.

Oh, God. What if he's married? If he's engaged? That would just about kill me, even though it shouldn't. It's been seven years, and I moved on. But not enough. And if Devin's married or engaged, he moved on and it's like I never mattered.

"Excuse me," I mutter and get up. I can't listen to his answer. I feel his burning gaze as I walk to the bathroom.

Once I get to the bathroom, I grip the sink tightly as I stare in the mirror. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just get over Devin?

Fuck. We were best friends from Kindergarten to our Senior year of high school. And Senior year, I realized I loved him. We were friends for twelve years, together for six months.

And now it's been seven years without him and he's back. And he's fucking things up. What can't I just leave Devin in my past? Why can't I get over him?

Devin was my first love, my first everything. After he left, I had other boyfriends. I guess they were more of flings. I never felt strongly about any of them, never the way I felt about Devin.

And if he's married or engaged,  he moved on. And I didn't.

I push my sleeves up and splash my face with water. I hear the door open and chills spread through my body. I know it's Devin.

I keep staring at the sink, trying to ignore him. But then I feel his hand on my back. His fingers are touching the bare skin where my sweatshirt rode up.

"You okay?" His voice is low.

"Fine," I mutter. I straighten up and his hand doesn't leave my back. I won't look at him, keeping my gaze in the mirror. "You should leave."

His fingers trace light patterns, in a subconscious way. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay," Devin tells me, stepping closer. I press my eyes shut.

"You should go," I repeat. He sighs.

"Riley," he says quietly. "Look at me." When I don't, his hand moves from my back to cup my cheek. He tilts my head so I'm looking at him.

"What?" I ask. I try to sound bored, but end up sounding breathless. I can't think with Devin touching me.

"What did you mean?" he asks, moving his thumb to brush my lip. "When you said you didn't know me?"

I sigh, my lips parting slightly. I don't know what to tell him. I knew Devin, I really knew him. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, I knew he wouldn't break my heart again.

But he did. Just like the first time. And I'm so stupid because I always fall back into Devin. I always think that this is the time he won't hurt me. But he will. He'll break my heart a third time.

"I used to know you. Better than anyone," I tell Devin as I step out of his grip. "I knew that you wouldn't hurt me again. I knew you wouldn't leave suddenly without saying goodbye."

His stormy grey eyes are almost sad, regretful. Paler in color than they usually are. "Riley," Devin says, his hand reaching for me.

I take another step back. "But you did. So, I don't know you. Not anymore," I say. "And maybe I don't want to."

Hurt flashes over his face but I'm already walking out of the bathroom, trying to calm my heart.

God, why can't I get over Devin? It's like I can't move on, can't get away from him. But what do you really want? A voice in my head whispers. You want him to kiss you. You want him to love you. You want to be with him.

I sigh as I sit down next to Zack.

"Are you okay?" he asks. I nod. Zack smiles and leans closer to me to whisper, "Tomorrow morning Daniel and I are gonna go Go-karting. Do you wanna come with?"

A grin spreads over my face. "Of course. But aren't we supposed to tour places tomorrow?" I whisper back. Zack shrugs.

"Do you really wanna be stuck with Naomi for the whole day?"

"Go-Karting it is then," I tell Zack. Devin walks back, his eyes darkening when he sees Zack and I whispering.

It feels good, even though it shouldn't to know that he's unhappy with Zack and I. It feels good to know that I told him how I felt and he was hurt.

Maybe being around him isn't so bad after all. I can finally get my closure.