Somebody stirred in my bed, making me bolt upright as adrenaline kicked in. The first thing I saw was Liam at the foot of my bed, pulling on his clothes from yesterday. He had his phone in his hand, somehow texting and dressing at the same time. He noticed me straight away, looking over as he finished putting his soccer shirt on.

"Morning," he said, offering a warm and confident smile. "My mum's coming to pick me up so I can get ready for school. Are you gonna come in today?"

As I shrugged a nervous response, Charlie stirred and sat up beside me, yawning obnoxiously loud while he adjusted his... himself, in his pants, and then scratched his exposed belly where my shirt pulled up on him. He looked groggy and at ease, offering a lazy smile while his hair was a rat's nest, before his eyes widened in a panic.

"Shit, school," he said, clambering out of bed and stripping off my clothes. "Reckon your mum'll give me a ride, Liam?" he asked, pulling on his uniform from yesterday.

It occurred to me that I never offered either of them a shower yesterday. I couldn't imagine how uncomfortable Liam must've felt having been sweaty and hot from his game, but he didn't once complain. Even Charlie, an obnoxiously loud clown who was never exactly my number one fan from the beginning, somehow kept quiet. I'd have to pay them back whenever the opportunity presented itself.

"Should be fine," Liam agreed, swinging his bag over his shoulder. "She's already outside though so hurry up."

They raced outside to the same silver sedan as yesterday and were beginning to climb in when suddenly, I remembered Liam's leftover food in the fridge. "Liam, wait," I said quickly, rushing back inside to grab it. When I came back outside, I noticed him waiting outside of the car for me. He was leaning against the side of the door, looking so cool and collected that I found myself feeling shy. Especially after that thing I pulled last night.

I handed him the food. "You... you almost forgot this," I practically stuttered.

Liam grinned. "You could've finished it yourself," he said, but Charlie already reached out from inside the car and grabbed it from me.

"I'll take that," Charlie said, and opened the lids to scoff everything he could fit inside his mouth.

Liam chuckled and ruffled my hair. Enjoying the feeling of his hand through my hair, I couldn't help but smile up at him. "I mean... I tried," I offered, but Liam just cracked up.

"It was a solid effort," he said with a grin. "We have our chemistry test today, and it's good 'cause it's gonna be marked on the spot. No unbearable suspense."

My smile faltered slightly. Knowing how poor my results would be already, I was suddenly less enthusiastic about the idea of going to school. Tristan and I used to study together over video call most nights, but since I'd let him down like that, I hadn't even looked at a single piece of homework.

Liam seemed to notice my reaction and tilted his head like a curious puppy. "You don't think you did well?" he asked.

When I shook my head, he smiled reassuringly and said, "I think you'll be fine, Jude. You're one of the few brighter academics at school. I really hope you'll come and watch me play again. I need some good luck from you before our big game this weekend."

How could I say no to that? Liam Petry specifically asked me to watch his game today. Liam Petry. The Liam Petry. The coolest guy in school. We had become friends. He slept in my bed. I slept on his arm! How good was my life right now? The reality of our progress was just beginning to sink in the longer I actually thought about it. I was making friends with his friends. My best friend seemed to have the hots for his sister. Liam wanted to be my friend. And he thought I was smart! Sure, he may not be the brightest cookie in the toolbox for that reason, but I was so excited that I didn't even know what to do with myself anymore.

I had to go to school no matter what! To sit the test, to maintain my grades, and to see Liam Petry. I darted inside and started getting ready for school. Realising that my uniform was dirty from yesterday, I chucked it in the wash for a fifteen-minute quick spin and then tossed it in the dryer while I showered and ate breakfast. All the while, I kept humming and singing like I was the next rising international popstar. Last night, two friends stayed the night at my house. And they were guys! It didn't feel sinful. It didn't feel wrong.

If I'd experienced this back when I was younger, would I have felt as on top of the world as I did now? My shower took a little bit longer since I decided to wash my hair. I only brought in boxer briefs and a singlet since my uniform was still in the dryer, so remembering Liam's words to me a while ago about guys being fine to take extra care of their hair, I decided to use the blow-dryer. As I turned it off, I noticed the bathroom door handle rattling.

My heart hammered with excitement at the thought of Liam returning and getting to see him again before school. "Did you forget something? Hang on!" I called out, checking myself over in the mirror to make sure that I looked at least a little presentable. I smoothed down my unruly curls then quickly raced to the door, yanking it open with an ecstatic smile. "Welcome bac––"

I paused and froze, finding Josh towering above me in the doorframe. My smile flatlined. He looked as tired and haggard as mum did yesterday. "Welcome back," I offered, trying to play it off like I wasn't expecting anybody else, which was ridiculous considering my response thinking it was Liam. "How's mum? Is she okay?"

"Who the hell did you think I was?" he asked, moving forward towards me. He did not look too impressed by my reception. "That dumb ugly ranga, huh? Was he here last night or something?"

Josh looked explosive. He took two steps forward for every step I took back until I was pressed against the bathroom vanity, hands behind me on the counter. His body pressed against mine, which was even more uncomfortable than last time because this time, I was barely clothed. Just briefs and a singlet.

"Did you fuck?" he whispered, leaning into my ear.

I shoved his chest and forced him two steps back.

"Watch your language," I said, trying to gather my wits about me. "This is a Christian household. Where do you get off talking like that? And what are you talking about? Liam's my friend. Him and Charlie both stayed with me 'cause I was alone!"

Josh didn't appear to like my rebuttal. He reclosed the gap I barely created between us and pressed himself completely up against me. Fear crept in. Having Liam and Charlie here had made me momentarily forget everything, and this morning put me on such a buzz that I'd all but forgotten about Josh. But now he came to remind me, loud and clear, that he wasn't someone I could just forget.

"Mum's in hospital dying and you're just here having fun with those losers, huh?"

I flinched. That seemed to be exactly what happened. But dying? How would I know anything without someone telling me? They helped me to deal with my feelings and cheered me up in the process, because mum cut me out. So why did he have to come back here just to make me feel bad?

Josh rested his weight against me, forcing me hard against the vanity until my back hurt. Even my chest felt crushed from the pressure. His head rolled into my neck, where I felt his breathing and wet lips touch my skin. It made my skin prickle, and my stomach turn. But I was frozen with fear. One wrong move, and he could force me down like last time.

Did he want to be comforted? Was that why he was acting like we were gentle lovers? Well, I couldn't even pretend. My body began to tremble of its own accord, which I think he noticed because he lifted his head enough to look at me. I forced my gaze down to meet his, but the sight and feeling of him so close to me made me want to gauge my eyes and peel my skin. If I didn't react the right way, would history repeat itself?

Just what exactly did Josh want from me?

I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand this proximity when I was already breaking into a cold sweat. I clutched his shoulders, hoping to find the strength to shove him away again, but my strength was well and truly dwindling. He buried his face back against my neck, but this time, I felt his lips and tongue starting to work their way along my skin.

"Don't," I said, pulling away. "Please, don't. This is so wrong. This isn't what you want, Josh. It isn't what God wants, either."

"It is what I want," he said, lips moving against my skin. "It's exactly what I fucking want. It's what I've always wanted."

"You're a man of God!" I cried, finding the energy now to fight harder. I wriggled around and pushed against his shoulders, but he grabbed my arms and yanked them down to my sides. "This is a sin, stop it!"

"Fuck your God," he said, applying more strength the harder I fought. "You're the only one who cares about him anyway. Such a stupid naïve idiot."

We wrestled as I struggled to break free, but he moved his mouth everywhere he could, and I was helpless against it. But the further down he moved, the more fuelled with adrenaline I became. Finally, I was able to slip my hands away and prepare to deliver a hard blow to his stomach, but his lips came crashing down on mine and pinned my hands down again. He was toying with me. I really didn't seem to stand a chance again, just like last time.

The moment I could feel his tongue between my lips, I fought the urge to vomit, and bit down as hard as I could. Josh yelped and stumbled backwards, holding his mouth. I kicked his groin and rushed past him toward the door, but felt his hand pull the back of my singlet. Persistent asshole. I yanked myself free and stumbled out the door, aiming for the staircase. Remembering I was literally in my undies, I couldn't leave the house, so I hurried into my room and put all of my weight against the door.

I could've really used a lock right now.

Josh started rattling the handle and thumping on the door. "So it's fine for him but not me, huh?" he shouted, kicking hard and loud. Bang. "You bring up God as if he's gonna save mum. What, you wanna respect him after he's tortured her for years? Is that really what you want, huh?" Thump.

"I didn't know because no one told me anything," I shouted back. Did he think they could just pull the wool over my eyes and expect me to blindly follow everything he said? That priest was right that Josh was dangerous, and I should never have underestimated him. I couldn't understand what he wanted for the life of me, but I knew by the desperation in his voice that he wasn't lying about mum. His voice was cracking, and I could hear his hopelessness. Well, good. I hoped he withered in it.

As soon as I could safely escape this house, I'd go to see mum at the hospital. I'd run all the way there if I had to, I just had to put some clothes on first. My heart hammered with fear and anxiety. One wrong move and he'd realise I'd released some of my weight from the door and barge in. My drawers were within legs length of where I sat against the door, so I stretched my leg out and used my toe to slowly slide the drawer open. I heaved my bum off the floor slightly, using my arms to support my weight while I tried to grasp some material in my toes. It took a few goes, but eventually I was able to pick up some light boardshorts.

"If you've seen the shit I've seen," Josh said, "Then you wouldn't take God seriously either. He's a waste of everyone's time."

But I hadn't seen what he'd seen because they were still keeping it hidden from me. Even to this moment, he still wasn't divulging any information except the fact that my mum was dying. I didn't know if he was lying to spark some sympathy or create a trauma bond, but I had to get to the hospital quickly to find out. The dread and terror I felt all at once was just...overwhelming. She couldn't die; she was a devout follower of Christ to her very core.

God wouldn't let it happen.

I used my foot to fling them onto my chest, then quickly slipped them on. My sandals were on the floor, so I put those on and did up the straps. They'd probably come undone as I ran, but it'd be a long journey without anything on my feet. If only I had my phone, then I could've contacted someone for help. Or even called the police. He'd hardly give me the time and opportunity to call the police using the home phone in the kitchen.

Josh went quiet before I heard him slide down and sit on the floor. Now, we sat back-to-back on either side of my door. My heart was still drumming, but at least now I knew that he'd calmed down a bit. If I yanked my door open, maybe he'd fall back with surprise, and I'd be able to leap over him. But he was a soccer player; he'd have no problem chasing me down the stairs or through the house. I probably wouldn't even be able to go back into the bathroom and lock myself in.

Bracing myself, I took a deep breath and leaned my head back against the door. A few more breaths. I was on the second storey so I couldn't jump out the window. My only option was to give him the element of surprise and leap over him. More deep breaths. If I didn't move now, I'd sit and hyperventilate. My heartrate was increasing, but I had to calm it down.

One... two... three...

Fuck Josh. I got up and ran for it.