I set on the bench at the park, watching from afar. He is an extraordinary dad and I will say I have never met a guy like him. He always lets me know about her well being to keep me in the loop. There is no since in arguing with him because he will still send pictures of her or shoot out a quick text about her day.

I haven't actually held her or talked to her since she left the hospital with him...and that has been almost two years ago. The sun glistens down on her bright auburn hair and she is cackling every time he pushes her in the swing. That smile of hers actually makes my heart melt. She squeals in laughter and I hear her yelling for more. So he gives her another light push.

I watch as he picks her up out of the swing and twirls her around before walking over to the bench to grab her a sippy cup. She holds it with no problem and after she takes a sip she hands it back over to him. I'm so focused on her that I don't notice him looking right at me and the moment I do realize it I look away.

Seconds later I look up and he is putting everything up in the bag. He looks up again and I hold up the newspaper in front of me to avoid seeing him. Just as I thought the coast was clear, I put down the paper and they are gone. Or so I thought...he is walking towards me and is only a few feet away."Ora...what are you doing out here?" He says with a warm smile.

I quickly try to find words...trying to apologize. "Taking a break...sorry I wasn't stocking you or anything like that. I didn't mean..."

"It's fine really." He looks down at the girl who is looking up at him. "Do you want to hold her?"

"Uhm...no...that's ok."

"Ora...she needs to know who you are. Look I would love for you to be a part of her life. I'm sure Lise would like it too...right Lise?"

"Lise...you named her Lise?"

"It's short for Oralise...I named her after her mom." He shoots me a smile.

Tears start to form in my eyes. "Julian you didn't have to do that."

"I know...I wanted to. I talk about you all the time to her."

I stand up and start to walk off but he grabs my arm. "I'm sorry..."

"No...I am sorry. I just hoped that you would come around one day and realize how special this little girl is. She is my everything Ora...and without you I would never had had her...I love your name...that is why I gave her the name."

I shake my head and wipe the few tears away from my check but his hand comes up and wipes the tears again. His fingers rest on my chin and he holds my head up in the right angle just enough for me to look right into his eyes. "You don't have to always be so strong...stop punishing yourself...give us a week...one week that is all I ask and if you don't want anything to do with us then alright...I will move...I will stop sending you updates...come on Ora one week."

I contemplate the whole idea...a week...one long week with him and a toddler...one week of pure hell. One week to give up everything that I do in my spare time when I am not working on a case...one week. "Ok...one week and then I want my life back you got it."

"Ok...one week it is. Would you like to go out to dinner with us tonight?"

I try to come up with a great excuse. "Uhm...I really ca..." But of course he interrupts me.

"One week...starting now, come on."

I roll my eyes at him with a snarl. "Fine...where too?"

We end up back at his place. He is cooking. I am shocked to see him cooking so healthy and Lise is playing in the highchair watching him the whole time. He scoops out a small spoonful of potatoes and blows it and then tastes it and then blows again before giving her a bite. I sit on the bar stool by the bar and beside her highchair. I watch the two interact with each other and it's so freaking cute.

After we eat I grab my purse and get ready to leave. He gives me a half hearted smile. "You can't go yet...come on help me put her to bed first."

"I really...."

"Need to put her to bed." He finishes for me and that's totally not what I was going to say. But I follow him to the bedroom. He softly puts her down and pulls the covers up, tucking her in. I stand in the door way and watch. He sings her a lullaby and then kisses her forehead before he tells her goodnight.

In return she says, "Nite-nite da-da."

I turn and start walking down the hallway before he even turns towards the door. I hear him click the light and the door squeaks but he doesn't close it all the way, leaving just enough light to shine in her room from the hallway. "Hey...I know you are leaving...but." He glides his hand through his hair making it stick up on top and then he swooshes it around making it messy. "Never mind...thanks for coming over. So I will see you tomorrow?"

"Sure...one week right?"

"Yeah...but you should get some of your things...and stay over tomorrow night."

"Why?"

"Just give it the one week...Ora you have nothing to lose here. Think of it as a mini vacation from your life."

I laugh at that because one week living with him and a toddler is not a vacation it is more like committing myself. I huff because I know he is not going to give in. "Fine...I will grab a bag from home alright. But I still need to go to work for the week; I can't just take off you know."

"Maybe not the whole week...but surely you could manage a day...maybe two."

"We will see alright...bye Julian."

"Bye Ora."

I will say the week flew by. The first few days were really exciting just watching the two of them interact with each other. Today is my last day with them and a part of me is ready to get back to my place and my life. I requested the day off just so that we could really have a full fun day.Julian wanted to take a small trip down to the beach and so we load up in his car. He pulls up and parks then gets her out. I grab the bags and the picnic basket.

One day at the beach...in the sun will probably do me some good. It's been a while since I really took any time away from my busy life. Little Lise is playing in the sand and I help her scoop and pour sand onto Julian...to bury him as much as possible. She giggle and laughs until the ocean water creeps up behind her and it scares her. She jumps in my arms for me to protect her.

"It's just water Lise." I laugh but hold her close to me. I move her to the other side of Julian so the water won't touch her. Julian ends up sitting up and the sand all falls back down to the ground.

"Dada...no..." She starts to pout because she wasn't finish burying him.

"Come on gorgeous...let's go check out the waves." He stands up and picks her up and the three of us walk along the beach and then back to where we had our stuff laying out.

On the way home she sleeps the whole way. He carries her to bed and I follow behind him...just like I have every night this week. He lays her down softly and sings to her and then kisses her forehead. As we are walking out she says, "Dada...nite-nite....Momma...nite-nite. Ugg pea."

Everything inside of me goes numb and I have little chills running down my arm.

"Ugg...pea..." she says again in her sweet little voice. I walk over towards the bed and sit on the edge and she pops up and wraps her arms around me and gives me the tightest little squeeze ever. "uve ue....mom-ma."

"I...I...love you too sweetheart...now off to sleep ok." I kiss her on the forehead and quickly stand up. I look up at Julian and he gives me this tender hearted stare and I see that he is trying hard not to smile.I rush past him and out the door towards my car. What the hell is happening here...I can't be a mom...I have never ever wanted to be that kind of person. I got to get out of here.

As I am back out he is running over to the car door. "Ora...Ora...stop...what the hell."

"I...I..." I am panicking because she called me momma....because she said, I love you...I'm panicking because I have these feelings that I am not so sure about. "I...I got to go...I'm sorry Julian...please forgive me...I just can't." I speed out of there and head home.

All night I toss and turn...I can't get her out of my mind. I can't get him off my mind...out of my head. It's a freaking Sunday and I do not want to get out of bed. However I force myself up and turn on the TV...damn thing...every freaking channel has something to do about kids. I click it off and turn on some music instead. I go to the workout room and give myself a hard workout to get them off my mind.

However once in the shower and the heat is pounding down on me...my chin starts to quiver, tears burn the edge of my nose and a lump rises in my throat...I cry. I not only cry but freaking sob like I'm dying...heartbroken. I can't be sad...I can't want this. My mind argues with me because my heart wants her...it wants him. Shit!

I get out and dry off. I put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I grab my purse and head out the door. I get in my car and think...this car is not made for a family. I smirk at the thought. I put the car in drive and of course end up back at his place. I sit in the drive way for a long while contemplating on what to do.

Finally I get up the nerve to walk up to the door and ring the bell. He answers the door with a sad look on his face but once he sees me his face lightens up. "Did you forget something?" He says almost annoyed that I am back.

Shit...I told myself I was not going to cry but the tears come. "I'm..." I take a deep breath. "Julian...I'm scared. I have these feelings and I don't know what to do."

"Ora...just go alright. You gave it a week; it didn't work. I get it alright...just..."

I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. I kiss him. I let the moment take over. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me into him but then slowly pushes me away to look into my eyes. "What is this Ora?"

"I...I love you. I love Lise...I..." I walk into the living room and then to the kitchen where I know she will be in her highchair eating breakfast. Sure enough there she is and I walk over to her and rub the top of her head. "I love you so much and it hurts. It hurts because I...I...never planned on having these feelings but the two of you...I was thinking that I didn't need you in my life...I kept telling myself over and over that I am not a mom...I am not wife material...I can't...but I'm wrong...I say I am wrong. I need you...I need Lise in my life." I take a breath and gasp again.

These freaking tears won't stop pouring out of me. "I...I...don't want to wake up and you not be there. I don't want to come home at the end of the day to an empty house...I don't..."

"Ora...what are you trying to say."

"I'm trying to say...I want to be here...I want to come home to the two of you. I want the crazy life. I want you."

He walks over to me and one hand wraps around the back of my neck and the other around my waist he pulls me into him and this time he kisses me with so much passion that if Lise hadn't been in the room something else would have happened in that moment. When he pulls away he is crying. "Marry me Ora...marry us...be a part of our life."

"Yes." I tell him and he swirls me around in the kitchen. Little Lise starts to clap and she is laughing at the two of us. I reach down and pull her out of the highchair. I hold her close to me while the tears stream down my face.

"Momma...o-k, uve ou."

"Yes...Mommy is ok and I love you too precious girl."

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Author's Note:

Who else is crying right now? Any thoughts about Ora and Julian?