Tonight I get all dressed up and get ready for my retirement. I should have retired years ago but something kept telling me that I needed to stick around longer for the women that I have helped over the years. Some of them had to make very hard decisions not only for themselves but for their child as well. As I'm finishing up touches of my makeup I hear the TV reporter talking about the father of one of the young girls that came to my session a few years back, Callie. I stop for a moment to turn the volume up and I watch with wondering eyes, fighting back the few tears that strayed from my eyes.

"Mr. Perkins was sentenced to life in prison after the fact of forcing his daughter to abort her baby...later to discover his baby as well. Callie Perkins at the age of thirteen took her own life in the family's home. Mr. Perkins was found dead this morning the cause by multiple stab wounds after being raped by his fellow inmates. In other news..."

Callie had come to me a few weeks prior to her death. I should have listened more to her. At the time I thought she was just a teen girl that fooled around and got herself pregnant...I never imaged that her father did that to her. I hate myself for not understanding and so over the past two years I try my best to listen more closely to others that come for my help.

I finish getting ready and put on my flat dress shoes and head out the door. I didn't realize that there would be so many of the clients that I worked with would be here at this event but I look around and see several familiar faces.

Several come up to me and talk...telling me how they are doing now. "Mrs. Jackson...I hate that you are retiring you helped so many girls. You were so caring when I needed that one person to just talk to...to listen to my problem and I wanted to thank you for all that you did for me back then."

"You're very welcome Charlotte. You look so beautiful dear...how have you been doing?"

"I'm in college going into therapy thanks to you. I also met this guy who is amazing and taught me to see the world in a different perspective. Not married yet...but engaged." She holds out the ring to let the shiny little diamond sparking to life.

"Oh...dear...I am so happy for you, congratulations." I pat her hands within mine.

"I wanted to thank you...thank you for everything."

"You're welcome dear...it was my pleasure to be there for you." I pat her arm and she walks away.

Within seconds Ora and Evelyn walk over to me at the same time both full of smiles. I remember back to their first time I saw them...especially Evelyn full of tears and worry. Both wait for a hug."Ahhh...Ora and Evelyn...how are you two doing these days?"

Evelyn gives me a warm smile. "Thank you for being there when I made a really difficult decision. I'm doing better. I am still not fully over giving up Jacob...that is what Mr. and Mrs. Perry named him anyway...but he is in a wonderful home and I know they will take really good care of him. I recently got married and Ari has a son James and not saying that it replaces Jacob or anything but the two of them in my life has made a huge difference. We are living on the east side of town in a nice little house with a yard for the kids. I am currently going back to school...Ari says I can do anything if I put my mind to it."Her eyes sparkle to life the moment she mentions the new fellow.

I smile politely and then look over at Ora. She was one of the strong ones. She had her mind set from the very beginning. "That's wonderful dear...and Ora...please tell me how you are doing?"

"Well Mrs. Jackson you know me too well...but I bet you never figured I would be a mom after all." She says with a very wide grin and digs out a picture from her purse. She hands it over to show me.

"What...did you have another baby...the last I heard you gave the baby up right...to the father if I remember correctly?"

"Yes...only to realize later that I needed them just as much as they needed me. Julian is an amazing father...so much that I don't think I could ever live without him. We got married a few months ago and I am still learning all the ropes of being a mom. I hate that you are retiring I was hoping you might have some good tips for me."

I pat her arm and again give another smile. "Oh...Ora...dear...you got this you don't need my help anymore. I'm so happy for you."

I watch as they walk away and then this bouncy girl comes up and gives me the biggest hug ever. I pull away to see little Sadie looking back at me. "Mrs. Jackson...I never got to thank you for coming to the hospital after my wreck. It's just that so much was going on with Gracie and all...anyway I wanted to come tonight to tell you thank you...thank you for everything. I just needed someone to listen to me and support my decision and that is what you did. And guess what...Anthony changed that night as well. He realized how important I was to him as well as little Gracie."

"Oh...dear...I'm so happy things worked out for you."

"It really has....matter of fact." She taps her stomach. "We are having another baby...I'm three months along now."

"Congratulations dear...I know that everything is going to work out just fine for the two of you."She leans in to hug me again before walking the other direction.

I am being summoned to the front to give a speech. I never have liked being in front of a huge crowd like this but as I stand in front of the podium on stage I look around. I have had so many years working in my field...and so many young women whose lives will never be the same as it was when I first met them.

"I see so many familiar faces...some of those I have worked with for years and some of those I have tried to help over the years. When I first got into therapy to help other I never imagined actually doing a group class for first time moms. I have seen a lot of things over the years and everyone has their own story to tell. As I was getting ready tonight I saw on the news of a young girl that had came to me. Callie was a thirteen year old girl at the time...but I thought she was at least sixteen. I will never forget how scared she looked that night...only I thought it was because she was pregnant and worried about her father's reaction...I never imagined the life that she had. I wished I had known...I would have done so much more to help her out. I know she was probably not the only one over the years. I just never imagined a father could do that to their child."

 I stop and look around the room at all the eyes...those that grieved for Callie...who remember her. "I never talked anyone into doing something that they would regret and I know several of you regret the decision that you made but you should not be ashamed of your decision...you were not thinking about yourself at the time but of the love you had for your child."I look at Evelyn and give her a kind hearted smile.

"We are all women here...we are all human. We all come from different backgrounds. There is a lot of talk these days about making abortion illegal...but what gives a man the right to make that decision for us or that woman who has never been a mom or in the situation that you have been in. What gives them that right to take your rights away from you?"I pause for a second.

"You see...I have been around many moons and I have heard chilling stories. I'm not saying its right to end a life but until you have been in the shoes of another you don't have the right to tell them what to do. You don't know what it's like to be molested and raped only to find out you are pregnant. That girl did not ask for that and she shouldn't have to learn to live with that. And then those young girls that get talked into having sex because they are uneducated on the fact that they will get pregnant thinking that can't happen to them...it happens...and should she take on full responsibility...she is not the only person at fault here. Boys...guys...the majority brush it off and it's time that they take full responsibility of their actions as well...not just up and live and act like you have nothing at stake."

"I'm not saying all men are bad...there are really great dad's out there but it's time that they take on the consequences as well. Sorry...I didn't mean to get off topic here. It's just over the past few years I have seen and heard so much and some of it is terrifying. I have never told anyone about why I took on the therapy sessions...you see I was a young girl once myself...first time away from home. I was on my own in a big town attending college. I was raped. They say your body shuts itself down when in that situation...I beg to differ because it happened to me. I was only nineteen...starting out in the world... I couldn't see myself finishing school with a baby...It's not that I didn't want to be a mom...but a mom of the man who raped me. I just couldn't look at that child everyday knowing what happened to me...knowing that I would never be able to explain to him or her what happened...or tell him anything about his father. I knew nothing of the man...not even his ethnicity...I had no idea who he was."

"I did have another child ten years later to a wonderful man that I was married too for the past thirty years until his death. My daughter also had to make a courageous decision of her first child...knowing that the baby had many complications and would die the moment it came out. She opt to abort at that time. But she now has two amazing little boys that I am deeply in love with. You see...we are all human...we all face life differently and no one should tell us what we should have to do with our bodies. We are the ones that have to live with the consequences."

"I admire everyone in this room and so much more that were not able to be here tonight. I loved all these years of helping others and just being there even if it was just to listen. I want to thank all of you for letting me be a part of your lives...I'm going to miss all the stories...I'm going to miss all the new lives coming into the world. Thank you...thank you...thank you from the deepest of my heart."

Afterwards people come up to hug me...some are my fellow colleagues...others are girls I had in sessions. I feel so loved and cared for and I'm so grateful for all the years that I have given to this community.