All we do is argue...well ever since they found out that I was pregnant. At first my parents were really upset but now they are alright with it. Well they act like they are but I know they are still pretty pissed.

At first, I kept debating on having an abortion and believe me it would be better off for me. I'm freaking nineteen and have my whole life ahead of me you know. I mean hell I just graduated in May and instead of going off to college like all my friends...I'm stuck in this messed up life that I created.

Logan and I have been dating off and on for the past three years and we have never really used protection because he hates condoms and claims that the pull out method is the only way to go...yeah...well...if you say so. That is why I am here going on seven month pregnant and he is off to college having the time of his life. I'm sure by now he is seeing some other stupid girl believing that she as well won't get pregnant by his plans of pulling out.

My parents were so against me aborting the baby and insist that I have it. Saying that they will help me take care of it. Honestly I can't even take care of myself...hence why I am still living at home with the parents. Anyway, I have been going to all the classes and I been trying to catch up on reading and watching movies about what to freaking expect...seriously...I am so not ready to be a mom. And it's not just the whole birthing aspect of it...it's all of it. I mean who wants to wake up in the middle of the night several times at that...and changing diapers and breast feeding...I'm out on that one by the way.

There is no way that I am going to let that thing suck me to death. It just sounds so painful if you ask me. I had hoped that Logan would have just stayed here to help me out. But the moment he got into the college that he has been dying to get in he left me high and dry. Seriously he doesn't even call to check to see how I am doing, such a jerk.

"Henley...you are going to be late to your doctor's appointment." My mom walks by room, only to knock once and talk to me as she is walking away. I should be worried about what I am going to wear to the doctor's office but hello...I am so far out there that nothing freaking fits and I look like a Goodyear blimp...nice and rounded out. Hell my shoes don't even fit anymore due to all the swelling and therefore I have to wear flip-flops. Yay....for me...

I'm a little thankful that my mom no longer goes to all the appointments with me. Back when I first found out, she was at all of them...even the ultra sounds. So I guess the next time she goes when it will be closer to time. The drive over is peaceful, I turn my music on and just go with the traffic. The office however is crazy full with lot of pregnant woman. The doctor is nice but the office is such a drag.

 I hear them call names left and right and people even go in front to me. Hello...I have been waiting for almost an hour and people that just arrived get to go before me, what the hell. This pisses me off more than anything. I mean isn't that why we are told to make an appointment to begin with. By the time I get called back I have to pee again.

The nurse just smiles back at me. "Those babies sure do like to bounce on your bladder." She laughs...like that was even funny. I just roll my eyes and go to the bathroom.

When I come back, I get weighted...great another freaking ten bounds since last month. I will never be back down to my normal weight. And the stretch marks alone has damaged my body that wearing a swimsuit will never look good on me again.  I mean really what guy is going to want this.

She finishes up and then shows me to the room on the end. Not only do I have to wait yet again...but this time it takes another good thirty minutes before the door opens.

"Good afternoon Henley...how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"No trouble...no pains...nothing...you eating well? Taking your pre-natal pills?"

My reply, "No...No...Yes I'm eating can't you tell and of course...I'm taking the pills."

"I see well let's see how things are going...let's get your measurements."

I lie back on the table and let her do her tape measure across my stomach. She smiles and then helps me sit back up. "Well everything is going perfectly...two more months to go."

"Yayyyyy!" I sound so sarcastically. Two more months and this thing will be out of me.

On my way home, I stop by the park. I don't get out of the car. Instead, I just sit there and watch all the parents play with their kids. I just can't see myself being that way. I just don't know if I am ready to be a mom or if I will ever be.

And Logan...he never plans on helping me out. I mean hello he just ups and leaves me here. I mean seriously....how can he just do that. Why do guys always get the easy way out? It's like...Oh I hate that for you...hell I'm so sorry....sucks to be you. Ok so he didn't say it like that but he might as well have.

I mean he was like 'what do you want me to do about it...give up my career to help stay here and take care of it.' Hell he can't even freaking call to check on me. So I already know when I have the baby...it will be just me...getting up at night...feeding it...trying to make it be quite...you know the drill. What if I just can't do it?