I hate going to school...and I for sure hate seeing him. He acts like nothing ever happened. How in the hell does he just move on like that? Thankfully this is the last week of school for the summer break. I just don't know how much more I can take.

When the bell rings I jolt out of the classroom and down the hall. I don't bother stopping at my locker, instead I head out the door. It's scorching hot in the early part of June and I am wearing long sleeves as if it's freezing outside. I don't have to explain why...it's just I don't want anyone looking at me, the real me.

I started cutting a few days ago thinking that maybe...just maybe I will feel the pain. I got rid of the baby like it was nothing but a part of me regrets every bit of it. I don't deserve to live but I'm too scared to die so this way I cause myself enough pain to realize that I am still here.

I watch as everyone gets in their cars and on the buses heading home or to wherever they go when school is over at the end of the day. I see my mom parked on the side by the curb and I walk over looking around me to make sure no one is coming near me. Like...him...But when I look over by his car he is talking to Nicole. I huff and get in the car annoyed.

"How was your day honey?"

"Fine!"

"You got to be hot wearing that it's like ninety degrees out here today."

"I'm fine...mom."

Halfway home she glances over at me. "I have been doing some thinking." She looks back at the road. "I think you need to talk to someone...you know like a therapist or something."

"I'm fine mom." I say in a flat tone.

"Yeah...I know...you say that but I think you have had a lot to deal with lately and it might be nice just to talk to someone."I can feel the heat rise in my chest. I am about to explode on her ass and not even really mean to."So... I found this place. I thought you could check it out later."

"I'm fine...REALLY!"

She pulls up at this brick building and looks at me. "Give it a try Charlotte...you're closing yourself off...you refuse to talk to us and you are just acting weird."

"Seriously MOM...I thought he cared...I thought he actually loved me...but he is just like you and dad. You guys only care about yourself...your needs. You don't care about me. You freaking hate me. You hate that I...Charlotte...fell in love and got herself pregnant...only to be forced to get rid of it like it never existed...You really want to know what's wrong...I hate my life. I struggle everyday to wake up and act like nothing happened...Well you know what...IT HAPPENED!!!" I jump out of the car and run...I run...away from the building...away from the car...away from her.

I hear her call out my name over and over and I ignored her...that f-ing B...I hate her. I hate everyone at the moment.I keep running until I find myself at Henley's house. I bang on the door and luckily she is home and she is the one that answers the door.

"What is wrong Char?" She says all worried about me. At least she cares. She opens her arms and I walk right into them and let her hold me. We walk on into the house and sit on the couch. "Ok...what happened?"

"My parents hate me...he hates me...the world is just against me. Heck I even hate myself. Why...Why did I do it?"

"Do what....Char...the abortion?"

I shake my head and start crying again. She hugs me again and hands me a tissue at the same time.

"Charlotte...I thought you wanted to do it."

"Not really...they all wanted me to do it and at the time I thought that was what I want but now I'm having these nightmares and I just feel so guilty...you know." I sob and blow into the tissue.

"Ok...ok..." She pats my back and starts rubbing it. "It will take some time to get it over it...I'm mean there is nothing you can do about it now. You know...maybe you can help me raise Morgan."

"It's not the same."

"I know...but Char...it's too late...what was done was done. Look maybe this is a good thing you know...you can wait and start over years from now when you are actually ready...I mean it's not like you can't ever have kids again."

"I know you are trying to help...but..."

"But nothing." She pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. She moves my hair from my face and tucks it back behind my ear. "Hey...I'm here for you...you know." She says as she wipes away my falling tears and then she leans in to touch my lips with her lips...I try not to think about how soft they are. And then it just happens...we are kissing and touching each other. I really never thought I would be into a girl...but this is the second time that this happens and maybe...just maybe we are meant to be together.

Maybe she is right...maybe I can just help her out with her baby.We hear one of the doors open and her mom yelling from the other room, hurriedly we put our shirts back on and she is cheesing...ear to ear. She quickly places her index finger over her mouth to tell me to be quiet.

However within seconds her mom walks in the living room. "Oh...there you are?" she looks over at me and rolls her eyes... "Oh...Charlotte right...will you be staying for dinner?"

"Uhm....no...I..."

"Yes...she is staying mom." She interrupts me with a smirk.

"Yeah...well...alright then...it will be ready in a few."

"Thanks mom...we are going to go up to my room for a while...just let us know when it's ready...thanks." She grabs my hand and I follow her to her bedroom. Once there she shuts the door.We start giggling and in seconds her lips are on mine again and her hands are all in my hair.

We lay on her bed and I rest my head on her oversized belly. "So how much longer?"

"A few more weeks."

As I am laying there I feel something kick me. I rise up with wide eyes and look at her... "Oh...my goodness was that the baby?"

She laughs and rubs her belly. "Yes...Morgan is a little fighter. I so can't wait for him to be out of me."

"Does it hurt?"

"Not really...I mean he kicks me a lot throughout the day...but it doesn't hurt. It actually feels weird but a good weird."

"I can't wait to meet him." I place my head back on her belly and with my hand I rub it. "Hey little buddy...I'm Charlotte but you can call me Char if you want."