They say time heals...well it's been over a year and I haven't forgotten what I had done. Nor have I gotten over Henley. She was my first girl crush and will probably be my last. A whole year has passed and I am graduating...moving on.

My mom found out that I was cutting and sent me to therapy, saying something about I needed help and back then I argued with her so much and I just didn't want to talk to anyone but over the year I have learned so much on how to deal with the pain. I may never completely get over the fact that I had an abortion but I know over time I will move on and one day when the time is right I will meet the perfect guy and have the perfect family.

I decided to move to another state to go to college...thinking the farther away I am the better. Mostly I just didn't want to be reminded of the people I went to school with or Danny. Of course he moved on with some girl named Lucy...Nicole was just a thing...right along with several others. I also need to be out of this town because every where I turn I see Henley...not physically...but mentally. I never went back to see her. I have no idea how she is doing but I'm sure she has found some other girl to be with.

First day at on campus and I am nervous as hell. This place is so big...and so many people walking around this way and that. I pull out the campus map and the wind comes by and rips it right out of my hands. I try to run after it. By the time I reach it, someone is standing on it leaving a shoe print on the page. Great...thanks for the help, I think to myself. I look up and there is the guy looking back down at me.

"Wind sure is rough today."He has the cutest freaking smile.

"Yeah it is...uhm...do you mind?" I look down at the map that he is still standing on.

"Oh...sorry...not at all." He waits until I have my hands tightly on the map before letting go. I hear him smirk.

"Thanks." I sneer and slide it between two books so that it won't fly away again. I start to walk off and he calls after me.

"You're welcome by the way."

I don't reply back as I take off walking in the other direction. When I get to the class that I am supposed to be in we are assigned groups. I roll my eyes; you got to be kidding me...this is college for crying out loud. I walk over the table and throw my bag down by the chair and take a seat. A few minutes later the table is filled with five others and guess what the guy that was standing on my map is staring right back at me with a shit eating grin on his face. I roll my eyes and look away.

We have to introduce ourselves to the group and then we are assigned a project on the very first day. I would rather work on my own but I guess that is not happening. "So this will also be your study group...I suggest you guys get to know each other well you are going to need to study this is not a class you want to do on your own," says the instructor.

Great...looks like I am stuck with Mr. Shoeboy...

I only talk during the class when I have to and once class is over I am out the door. We decided to meet on Tuesday and Thursdays at six to study and prepare for our project. We also thought it would be best to meet out in public so depending on the weather depends on if we will meet outside under to oak tree or in the library.

Before the next class he bumps into me in the hallway. "Hey...Charlotte....right? I got you something."He smiles and hands me this laminated piece of paper.

I look down and it's a map of the school. I look up and try so hard not to smile but it comes out anyway.

"Wait...is that a smile I see. Sorry about the other day I was just trying to help out. I didn't realize I left the map with a huge footprint on it. I know what it's like being the first day here and all so I'm sorry alright...please forgive me."

I roll my eyes at him. "You are forgiven...thanks by the way." I hold up the map and wiggle it in my hands. I walk into class and sit down at the table. I can't think today because every time I look up he is staring at me. When I am called on, I stutter and then can't find my place.

"Charlotte...I suggest you pay more attention in this class...get your head out of the clouds." The instructor scolds and then moves on to another group.

After the class I get up and try to walk out fast only to get stopped by Mr. Shoeboy. "Charlotte wait up." When he reaches my side he walks with me. "So...I was thinking...you are new to this town correct?"

"Yes." I keep on walking.

"My friends and I are going out later...you wanna come...it will be fun?"

"Why would I go out with you...I don't even know you or your friends?"

"I just thought you might want to hang out...it's not like a date or anything...I just..."

I stop him. "Look...Josh right...I'm not looking to date anyone...or just hang out. I'm here to focus on my career and that is what I plan on doing."

"And not have any fun. How boring...come on you can go and still be home before nine...come on...it will be fun. You can't go to college and not have any fun at all."

"Why? Why should I go out with you and your friends?"

"Uhm....to have fun, live a little."

The last time someone told me to live a little I got pregnant. The last time I was told to have fun...I did...and fell hard for her and she crushed me. I just don't know if I am ready to live...that way again."Come...on...just an hour...maybe two."

"Fine...but when I am ready to leave...I leave, no questions asked got it."

"Got it." He gleams...so see you later.

Six o'clock rolls around and I debate going. I fiddle with some homework and then grab my phone and start to look up social media to distract me. There is a knock at the door and when I go to open it Josh is standing in the hallway. Wait how did he...never mind."Come on the guys are waiting downstairs."

"Maybe I shouldn't go you know...I...I don't really know them and I don't..."

"Stop...get your stuff and let's go."

I roll my eyes and grab my bag. I walk with him downstairs and out the dorms. Outside are three guys and a girl waiting for us. I climb into the back seat with him and some other guy...the other three get in the front seat. The driver cranks up the radio and we are jamming. By the time we get to the club I am ready to get out.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"This is Dante's...just a cool hang out...come on you will like it."

"I don't think I'm old enough...I'm only eighteen."

"They will let you in." He laughs.

And they do we all have to wear armbands because we are all under twenty-one. We find a table and everyone takes off to the dance floor. I look around the room and its crazy up in here. I don't have time to notice everything that is going on because Josh grabs me by the hand and jerks me to the floor. He starts dancing and I just stand there. "Come on...Charlotte...it's just dancing."

He twirls me around and grabs both hands pulling me into him. A slow song comes on and he wraps his arms around me and he guides me around. He leans in and whispers, "Everything is going to be alright you know...I got you."

I pull away just enough to see him staring down at me. He has this genuine smile and I see it in his eyes that he is being serious and not just playing around. I'm scared though...scared to know what will happen...scared to have my heart broken again...scared of this feeling taking over my body.