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chapter twenty-one: i'm not going to leave you

a/n:

this chapter is sort of chaotic?

the ducks: *nice to jamie*

jamie: fuck i'm supposed to hate you

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Just like their captain said they would, the ducks start to work.

Coach Orion has them doing the oddest of things, and Adam's always coming back exhausted and smelling strange. Almost like garbage. Jamie never has the balls to ask him- or the time really, because he's always mumbling a greeting and then immediately falling asleep. It's annoying because he's usually on top of her, trapping her for the entirety of his after practice nap, and because she can't stay mad at him for too long, not when he looks that cute.

Today is another one of those times.

"Hello, Adam." She hears Lisa's voice float up the stairs, somehow louder than her father's construction on the treehouse and her mother's Dean Martin.

Jamie can't hear Adam's reply, only the rumble of his voice, but she rolls her eyes half-heartedly anyway. She hopes he was at least nice to her mother, but that's never really a worry when it comes to him- he's so terrified of her father that he'd never dare, even if he was tired. He trudges up the stairs and into her room, looking absolutely beat when she looks up from her book.

"Hey. How was practice?"

"It was okay." Adam breathes, dropping his backpack and his bag of gear by the door.

Without another word, she pulls the duvet off her legs, and he crosses the room to flip down on the bed. His head on her stomach and his arms around her waist, Adam settles happily between her legs, sighing in relief as she threads her fingers through his hair. It's still damp from the shower he took, but she's just glad he's not sweaty.

"I love it when you do that."

"I know." Jamie smiles softly, holding her place in her book with the thumb of her opposite hand. "That's why I'm doing it."

He smiles too. "M'tired."

"I know." She repeats herself, voice lightning with amusement.

"Whatcha readin?"

"The Great Gatsby."

"Sounds boring. Read it to me?"

Jamie snorts softly, unsteadily holding up the book with the one hand and still playing with his hair with the other.

"...'I suppose Daisy'll call too.' He looked at me anxiously as if he hoped I'd corroborate this.

'I suppose so.'

'Well- goodbye'

We shook hands and I started away. Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around.

'They're a rotten crowd,' I shouted across the lawn. 'You're worth the whole damn bunch put together.' "

When Jamie looks down at him again, Adam is asleep. His breathing has evened out, and his expression is so blissful that it makes a warm fuzziness spread through her chest- it might be one of her favorite looks on him, second only to his dazzling smile, and she suddenly wants to make sure he never looks anything but blissful and happy again.

Shaking her head playfully, staring down at him with a fond look in her eyes, she's suddenly glad she read it out loud to him. Nick's only compliment to Gatsby is one of the best she could ever give Adam.

"Sleep tight." Jamie whispers, leaning over to shut off the lamp on her bedside table.

She can read in the fading sunlight. She's done it before.

Ten to fifteen minutes later, Lisa pokes her head into the room with furrowed brows. She glances down at Adam and then up at Jamie, silently communicating her confusion. All Jamie can do is shrug in response to her mother because she doesn't really know either.

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"Johnson!"

Jamie blinks, handing the basketball to her layup partner as she swivels on her feet.

Cole is storming toward her across the gym with an impossibly red face and a paper clenched in one of his fists; he's free this period, she thinks, which sucks for her because she's screwed now. Well, she weaseled her way into avoiding beatings and bullying for years- she sort of knew what she was signing up for when she agreed to Linda's bullshit.

Still, her heartbeat picks up, and she wonders why Coach Wilson isn't stopping him.

"What the fuck?!" He seethes, shoving the paper so hard into her chest that she stumbles back a bit. "Look at what you've done!"

Jamie fumbles to catch the paper, holding it with shaking hands. It's a test, an English test, and a bold forty-five percent is circled twice at the top. She swallows softly, staring up at him with wide eyes.

Cole is, after all, a foot taller than her.

"I didn't do anything."

"You dropped me as a tutee, you miserable bitch!"

By now, everyone is looking at the two of them. Wilson is still not doing anything.

"I dropped you because I didn't want to get dragged into your guys' stupid hockey war." She breathes, shoving the paper back at him. "and it's not my fault you can't read!"

Oh, curse her and her big freaking mouth.

Cole grabs her by the front of her shirt, lifting her until she's got nothing but her toes on the ground. Jamie breathes out raggedly, hands grabbing at his wrists, as her layup partner shrieks and Adam drops his stuff to start crossing the room.

"You're so going to regret this Johnson-"

Before Adam can even get there, though, another Duck is stepping in.

"Let her go, jackass." Julie Gaffney stands next to them, a hard look on her face. "She dropped you as a client, get over it."

Gritting his teeth, he does actually drop her after a moment.

"You're dead. All of you." He leaves with that, storming back across the gym.

"Jesus Christ, what crawled up his ass and died?"

"I dunno." Jamie shrugs, panting slightly in her panic. "But I'm dead. I'm definitely dead."

Julie snorts softly as Adam, and a few of the other ducks, finally get to them.

"Are you okay?" He whispers, hands holding her face.

She nods, even if it's not necessarily true.

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One day, Jamie gets back from a late meeting for a club to find Adam is already in her room. He's lying down on his back on her bed, arm over his eyes, and she stares at him in silent amusement for a few seconds.

"Do your parents even know where you are?"

He moves his arm to lean up and look at her. "Where else would I be?"

"At Charlie's?" She tries, dropping her book bag by the door. "At practice?"

"Neither of those things is as good as this- and your stuff smells way better than Charlie's."

Jamie snorts a laugh because that's probably true, walking over to her bed and straddling Adam's thighs. He stares up at her with a cocked brow.

"I would love to just let you sleep, hon, but I promised Linda I'd make sandwiches for you guys to eat after practice tomorrow and I refuse to do it alone."

Adam groans lowly and rubs his face with his hands. She almost feels bad, keyword being almost, but he's literally taking up her entire bed right now and these are his friends she's supposed to be feeding.

Jamie, with her hands on either side of his head, leans down over him.

"Oh, come on." She hums. "You don't even have to do anything, just sit there and keep me company."

"Kiss me and I'll think about it."

She scoffs softly. "Oh, really?"

"Mhm."

Pursing her lips, Jamie leans down closer to him, their noses brushing. Instead of kissing him, though, she grabs the teddy bear next to him and slaps him with it.

"Hey!"

"Hey yourself, pretty boy." She gets off him. "Now come on, help me out and I might kiss you."

Adam rips the stuffed animal from his face and narrows his eyes at her, the cogs turning in his head for a solid moment.

"...fine."

She helps him up and they walk down to the kitchen hand in hand.

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"Hey, Jamie..."

Jamie looks up as she closes her locker, eyebrows furrowed as she comes face to face with Charlie Conway.

Ever since everything got patched up he, unlike the rest of his friends that have been sweet and kind, has been floating around her like she's got her own center of gravity. He's so uncomfortable with her, in a way that he never even was when they were kids, and she's unsure of what to say about it because she's not exactly comfortable with him either. Adam was her friend, and then he wasn't, and, before she could even get him back, Charlie had swooped in to take him.

She doesn't hate him like she did when she was a kid, but she doesn't love his presence.

It's like it's an unspoken agreement between them both to just deal with it for Adam, so she's a little surprised by him initiating any conversation, let alone in person.

"Hey..." Jamie leans on her locker. "What's up?"

"I wanted to say thanks."

"Hm?"

"For, like, everything." He fidgets, fiddling with the strap of his bag. "Linda said that you didn't really like us for everything with Adam, and you're still helping us-"

Jamie cringes because Linda probably thinks she's helping, but that really isn't helping.

"Oh, Charlie- shit man, that's not-" She pinches the bridge of her nose.

How does she even word this?

"Don't worry about it, okay? If Adam's forgiven you then it's just all behind us, alright? Childhood bullshit."

Charlie nods awkwardly, but before he can say anything more, they're interrupted by one of the varsity kids. Jamie doesn't really know his name.

"Hey, Johnson- Cole says hi."

It hits her very suddenly.

Thirty-two liquid ounces of cold soda and ice splashes her in the face, making a loud noise as it soaks the locker behind her too. Laughter and shocked gasps echo throughout the hallway as she breathes shortly through her mouth, trying to get it off her lips. A cold ache spreads through her skull and chest, and Charlie starts shouting after the varsity kid.

"Yeah, you better run, asshole- hey, c'mon. Let's get you to the bathroom."

Still in shock and too afraid to open her eyes, Jamie lets him walk her through the hall and into the bathroom.

"Sorry! Sorry! I know-" He says, wincing so much that she can feel it as girls scoff and push past them.

She hears Charlie start pulling paper towels from the dispenser and that, for some reason, brings her back to it.

"H-h-h- shit."

Her teeth are chattering so much it makes it hard to speak. There might be ice in her shirt- she's not going to check in front of a boy- and the girls' bathroom on this floor is drafty. For some reason, the windows are always open.

"Did- did that just- h-happen?"

Charlie wipes at her face with a warm, wet towel and she finally opens her eyes.

"Yeah. That, uh, happened."

Jamie blinks a few times, her teeth still going a mile a minute.

"I- I- I fucking hate this- this place."

The corners of Charlie's lips turn up and he squeezes the towel out over the sink. "Me too."

She turns to the mirror to see her shirt is already stained with the sticky, dark-colored syrup and that it's all in her hair. Jamie turns on the warm water, still shivering, and the door opens again; Julie and Connie, both of whom looking incredibly pissed off.

"Oh my god, we just heard."

"C-ca-can't keep anything q-quiet, huh?"

Julie crosses the room to lean against the sink. "God, you're shaking."

"Do you have a change of clothes?"

Jamie shakes her head, running wet fingers through her hair. There would've been a pair of shorts or something, probably, but she doesn't have gym today, so she took the clothes home.

"Uh, wait! Here!" Charlie puts his bag down and tugs his jersey up off his head, giving it to her.

She holds it with a cocked brow for a moment, shoulders still trembling.

"Look you don't have to-"

The door opens again and Jamie groans. How many people are going to get involved?

"Where is she?" Adam asks, dropping his bag too.

Jamie turns to look over her shoulder. "She's right here."

Ignoring all of his friends, like a man on a mission, he walks right up to her. His features are marred with concern, eyebrows crinkled together and lips turned down at the corners.

"We're, uh, we're going to give you guys some privacy," Connie says tersely, grabbing both Julie and Charlie.

Charlie snatches his jersey back as he's dragged out.

"I'm f-fine, Adam."

Adam doesn't listen to her, wetting another paper towel to wipe at her neck and collarbone area.

"Which one of 'em did this to you?"

She shrugs. "I dunno, but-but Cole was behind it. Shouldn't have in-insulted him."

"Jesus Christ, you must be freezing." He huffs, pulling his sweater off. "I'm gonna kill that kid."

Jamie rolls her eyes as she pulls the cable-knit sweater over her head. She knows damn well that he's not going to really fight anybody, but Adam's warm, and his sweater is warm, and she'll accept it.

"Wait for the game. Knock his blocks off on the ice."

"...Alright."

He kisses her softly, and she wants to lean into it, but she remembers where they are.

"We should, uh, probably leave the bathroom."

"Oh, yeah. C'mon."

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Jamie comes home that day to find that her father has finished the treehouse.

"We gotta pick out some paint and you can decorate it if you'd like." Jim says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

She nods, looking away from the finished product to look up at her father. He's been a fragment of a man for her whole life, even now as he stands next to her and stares proudly up at his accomplishment. Sometimes, when she thinks about him enough, it makes her kind of sad.

"Thanks, dad." She whispers, touching his arm gently.

He manages a smile. "You're welcome, hon."

Jamie wrinkles her nose when he messes up her hair.

Later on, she, of course, invites Adam up to come to check it out. They sit across from one another on the brand new wood, wrapped up in blankets as they snack on things to the light of some lantern he fished out of her closet. All tension from the school day and Jamie's hallway incident has melted away, leaving the couple with nothing but soft giggles and mushy feelings.

Or, at least, it was like that for a while.

"Hey, JJ?"

"Yeah?"

"Charlie says you don't like him. That true?"

She sighs softly, running a hand through her hair. "...I don't know. I guess not?"

"Why?" Adam frowns a bit, cocking his head.

This is exactly what she wanted to avoid.

"Addy... look I don't hate him... I just... you looked so damn happy with them." Jamie pauses to bite the end off a sour rope. "It used to make me really angry because I wasn't happy without you, but you were happy without me, and I guess looking back now it doesn't make me so angry anymore. I'm happy you had someone, really."

He nods slowly.

"I just can't help but think, sometimes, that you only came back to me because you didn't have them and that you're going to leave me right in your dust now that you've got 'em again."

Adam looks kind of crushed to hear her admit this and she cringes.

"I know it sounds crazy, and kind of bitchy-"

"You don't sound bitchy." He says softly, leaning forward to hold her hands in his. "I'm not gonna leave you, JJ. I promise."

Jamie nods, squeezing his hands tightly with a crooked smile.

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a/n:

this story makes me feel so fucking single :|

also i was watching glee, if you couldn't tell

comments and votes are super appreciated! they let me know that you guys like my writing and they motivate me to continue! thank you