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chapter six: absolutely certain

( a/n: things are picking up

i apologize for the ending LMAO )

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As they step off the bus, they turn and start walking to the school.

Charlie Conway is getting off a bus about fifteen feet down the block and, upon looking away from an entirely disinterested Linda, he scowls in their direction. Jamie cocks a brow as Adam's shoulders fall.

The question bursts past her lips before she can stop it. "What's that about?"

Hooking his thumbs under the straps of his bag and fidgeting, he chews on his bottom lip.

"Charlie kind of hates me."

"Why?" She looks up at him while they walk. "I thought you guys were buddies."

"I don't know, really. They all froze me out after I joined varsity."

Jamie nods softly. Of course, she feels bad for him- it must suck to be dropped by all of your friends so suddenly. But, on the other hand, she has watched him watch his teammates walk all over them, so their ill feelings aren't unfounded.

"Well... you kind of... you don't stand up for them."

Adam turns to her with furrowed brows. "Huh?"

"You let Rick and Cole treat them like crap."

He sighs softly, taking her words into contemplation as they part ways to go to their lockers.

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As she stands in the stands of Eden Hall's hockey rink, Jamie considers going home.

The large room is absolutely freezing, with masses of parents and fans from both teams packing into the seats. A student wearing red face paint offers to sell her some overpriced warriors merch that's made of craft foam and has the emblem printed on it; she waves him off, scowling in distaste (apparently, Linda's petition didn't get very far.)

Would Adam even notice she wasn't there?

Just as she's about to turn on her heels and sneak out, she hears someone call her name.

"Jamie?"

Wishing the ground would swallow her whole, she turns to look at Phillip Banks with wide eyes. He's sitting with his wife, who's smiling at her, and Jake, his eldest son.

"Hi, Mr. Banks."

"You look good, sweetheart!" Mrs. Banks cuts in, leaning across her husband. "It's been such a long time!"

Jamie rubs the back of her neck. "Yeah, it has."

Well, she's never going to get out of this game now.

"Come, sit." Phillip orders, gesturing to the empty seat next to his son. "I'm sure Adam will be happy to know you came."

Mentally, she finishes his sentence: and when he's happy, he plays better.

Seeing no way out of it, she takes the empty seat next to Jake, rubbing her gloved hands together.

"Hey, JJ." He smiles at her, wiggling his eyebrows.

Jamie rolls her eyes half-heartedly, trying to smile back.

When she was younger, she had the hugest crush on the boy who is four years her elder. Now, looking back, she doesn't really understand why.

He just looks like Adam- but with their mother's brown eyes.

"Hi, Jake."

Being ignored by his parents, the two of them continue to make small talk until the players skate out onto the ice.

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The Eden Hall Academy Warriors win nine to one.

She jumps out of her seat with the rest of the Banks family, clapping until her hands hurt and whooping until her throat kind of hurts. He pulls the shield to his helmet up, meeting her eye as he does his lap around the rink.

Grinning softly, she gives him a thumbs up. He reciprocates and points to her with his stick.

Her face feels hot.

After the game, Jamie waits with Adam's family, rocking on the balls of her feet and trying to keep herself warm. He joins them eventually, still wearing a goofy smile on his face, and drops his bag to hug his older brother tightly; Jamie stands off to the side, watching him greet his parents.

When he turns to her, his arms twitch a bit- almost as if he wants to hug her.

"I'm glad you came. How was it? Did I change your opinion?"

She smiles softly. "It was pretty cool, Adam...maybe I'll come to more games."

With his brother's arm still wrapped around him, Adam grins so widely his face might split in half.

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"You should've gone with your parents. Our project could wait one day."

Jamie keeps her voice quiet, glancing across her table at him; Adam doesn't look up from the paragraph he's writing.

"No, it's fine. Mom is just going to make some fancy dinner and Jake is going to talk all about his hockey days and Dad's- you already know..."

Nodding, Jamie hums. "Yeah. I know."

For a few minutes, they just sit and work on their project: her cutting things out and him writing paragraphs (his lettering was always prettier and nicer than hers.) Her tongue juts out as she works.

"After school tomorrow, while you're in practice, I'll go to the store and pick up some more decorative stuff and our poster board."

Adam nods absentmindedly.

"I think I'm gonna quit varsity."

Jamie's eyes bulge out of her head and she stops cutting to look at him like he's out of his mind.

"Ad-"

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said." He says, finally looking up at her. "I don't want to stand by..."

Oh, god. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what she wanted at all.

"But your dad."

"I'll talk to him." Adam shrugs, speaking with an air of finality.

Her shoulders falling, Jamie stares at him long after he returns to his work.

She knows damn well that one does not simply talk to Phillip Banks, especially not Adam.

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Jamie is up reading the first time she hears the tapping on her window. At first, she thinks nothing of it and turns back to her book, but then it persists and she, reluctantly, puts Of Mice and Men down to peek through her blinds.

Much to her surprise, Adam Banks is sitting in the tree outside her house, straddling the branch that leads to her window with a handful of little pebbles and his hood pulled up over his head. She sighs softly, pulling up the blinds and opening the glass in one fell swoop.

He recoils in shock and wobbles slightly to steady himself. She watches him silently.

"I, uh, see you climbed the tree..." Jamie whispers.

"Yeah." Adam calls back, keeping his voice quiet. "I didn't think I could, or that it would hold me anymore, but muscle memory I guess, and it did..."

The last time he climbed it, they were at most seven years old. Back then, the blond could stand and walk across the thick branch that touched her windowsill, but he knew better than to trust it now.

"What are you doing here, man? It's like midnight."

"I, uh, had a fight with my dad..."

Jamie's stomach drops even if she knew it would happen and, now that he's lifted his head, she can see the tear tracks on Adam's face.

She briefly wonders what little Adam did without her for all those years. Did he go back to curling up in his closet to escape from the world of expectations on his shoulders? Did he start sucking his thumb again to soothe himself to sleep? Was there someone to hug him, to comfort him?

"A-and I know it was kind of shitty for me to show up, especially since we only started talking again recently and because I know you were going to tell me not to even try with him, but I have no one to talk to about this, and you're the only one who ever really knew-"

His soft words bring her from her reverie, and she cuts him off. "You can come in. Just don't, like, fall- please?"

She steps away, leaving the window open for him, and walks to her door, tidying up as she goes. Jamie hears the window shut as she carefully peaks out into the quiet dark of her house before she closes and locks her door.

When she turns back around Adam is sitting on her bed.

His back is turned to her, and his shoulders are trembling. Rubbing her arms uncomfortably, she hesitantly crosses the room to her bed and crawls in behind him.

Jamie, putting her legs on either side of his, loops her arms around Adam's chest from behind and pulls him into a hug. He fully breaks down, then, in the bedroom of his former best friend.

With her face pressed against his back, the brunette closes her eyes and holds him.

"Everything is going wrong and everybody hates me..." He sobs into his hands, speaking even softer this time- like he was sharing some huge secret, or like a knife had been slipped between his ribs.

Jamie squeezes him tighter, the childhood nickname falling so easily past her lips. "I don't, Addy. I don't."

She's never been so absolutely certain of anything.