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chapter fifteen: everything i wanted

( a/n: i would like to preface this with the fact that I have yet to have my first kiss. )

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Adam's lips, while chapped, are soft.

She pulls back slightly when he doesn't respond, fear christening her features as she stares at him, his head still in her hands, and wonders if she actually misread the situation. He doesn't give Jamie any time to really process what she's going to say, though, leaning forward almost immediately to recapture her lips.

It's clumsy and desperate, and he pulls her incredibly close to him, but in that same vein, it's beautiful.

It's like, suddenly, she understands why all those people all lost their minds and fought in wars. This, the kiss, the way that she feels about Adam and the way he feels about her, is something that authors and poets and songwriters have spent their whole lives trying to put down in words, and she gets it now.

Who wouldn't want to be the first person to explain a technicolor explosion in a world of black and white such as this?

The back door of the house opens with a creek, cutting harshly through the sounds of nature and each other's breathing. They pull away again, each peeking around the dock and wincing as the bright light gets in their eyes.

Phillip is standing on the back porch in his boxers and a shirt. Sleepwear.

Adam's hand finds hers, and she holds it with both of hers.

"Come on in now." He calls out to them, rubbing his face tiredly. "It's late."

"Alright!"

The run back to the house is worse than being dragged into the water. Colder. But, when they get inside, they find that his father had a fire going, and she happily rushes over to sit in front of it as he disappears elsewhere in the house.

It's quiet after Phillip bids them goodnight.

There's the sounds of the outside, the wind blowing through the trees and the crickets chirping, and an occasional pop from the fireplace, but nothing more. Maybe that's why she can hear Adam so clearly as he shuffles around behind her, or maybe she's just actively searching for him.

His feet pad against the floor as he approaches her, and she jumps slightly as he wraps a towel around her shoulders.

(She'd abandoned the hoodie a while ago, spreading it out in front of the fire, which leaves them both in their bathing suits.)

"Oh. Thanks." Jamie smiles warmly up at him.

His hair is sticking out in all these different directions, which means he probably got a towel for himself, too.

"No problem."

Adam sits next to her, his arm brushing against hers.

There's another pause. "Aw man, I think I left my shirt outside..."

For some reason, a giggle bursts its way past Jamie's lips, and it's such a horrible noise that she clamps her hands down over her mouth. He turns to her, evidently amused.

"You laughing at me, JJ?"

She shakes her head. "No. No- I'm just. I keep feeling- I'm either in shock or I'm just giddy."

"In shock?"

"We kissed."

At the mention of it, her giggling gets even worse.

Jamie really can't believe it, honestly. But, maybe it makes everything make sense, puts the final pieces in the puzzle; they've always stuck it out for each other, even when they were toddlers. When he was hurt she'd put a bandaid on it, and when she needed a shoulder to cry on he was ready- nobody knows her better than Adam, and nobody knows Adam better than her.

She was so sure that she'd never see him again, but maybe the distance only showed them that this was always it- that it was always going to be the two of them.

Adam Banks and Jamie Johnson.

Adam and Jamie.

Addy and JJ.

Destinies intertwined, together till the end.

"We did." He confirms, almost bashful. "When'd you figure it out?"

"That I liked you or that you liked me?"

Adam laughs softly, ducking his head down before looking at her through his lashes. "That you liked me."

She thinks for a moment.

"Like a week ago."

"A week ago?"

He sounds so offended she almost starts to giggle again.

"Yeah, a week ago." She repeats herself. "But I think it was coming for a long time."

And it was.

All the small glances and the jokes and the weird little flipping thing her stomach did whenever she looked at him a certain way. It's painfully obvious, and she should've known. She's kinda disappointed she didn't know.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Jamie laughs, albeit nervously, and turns to look at him again. "I didn't think you'd like me back."

He sits up, his face all wrinkled like her words were something sour on his tongue.

"Why not? You're... you're you. Of course, I like you."

Okay, maybe that was stupid of her to say, but now all she can think about now is kissing him again because oh my god. Just a few years ago he was all awkward and quiet and now he's saying stuff like this?

"I don't know... just got into my head that's all."

Adam stares at her for a moment, quiet with this tranquil look on his face, before he shakes his head. She flushes even more than she was already.

He pulls her close to him.

Jamie, now curled into his side, looks up at him and studies his features because she wants to remember this moment forever. She wants to remember how happy she is, and how peaceful he looks.

Her eyes flicker to his cheek.

"You have an eyelash."

She reaches up and swipes it off his face gently, holding it on her finger in front of his lips. He cocks his eyebrow at her.

"Make a wish." She elaborates.

Rolling his eyes half-heartedly, he turns his gaze back to her finger and stares at it intensely for a moment.

"I can't think of anything."

"Why not?"

"Because I think everything I want has already happened."

She blinks at him a few times, and he blows the eyelash off her finger to humor her.

That night Jamie breaks her promise to her father and sleeps in Adam's bed with him, wearing this stupid smile on her face and clothes that are mostly his.

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me writing this: