── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

CHAPTER ONE
ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴀʀɢᴀɪɴꜱ

When I was a child, it used to be a competition. It was a contest I could never win, one where I lacked the necessary skill to even participate. I didn't like losing any more than I despised being left out. They'd stood in a circle, holding each other's sweaty little hands as the sun beamed down at them from the clear sky. Stood on the sidelines, wishing that I one day could join them and not feel so alone.

I was ecstatic just a few months later, bouncing through the door with the biggest grin imaginable etched onto my round face. They'd watched me, mouths dropping agape in envy as I told them the reason for my unusually good mood. Many whined about life being unfair and how their parents were the worst compared to my mother. I enjoyed being the center of attention and I loved how they were jealous of me.

My mother had just told me the news that very same morning and I spread the word like wildfire. She was being transferred to New York for work, and we would be moving within the week. Before me, no one else had ever moved to a different state. Only to a new street in our hometown, Ottawa.

That day, I got to participate in their game for the first time. I'd held the hands of my peers, smiling brighter than ever before as it finally became my turn. Once again everyone had been jealous. While the others shared their stories of moving houses and apartments, I'd straightened my back and stuck my chin out proudly while I told them of our move to New York. It was the first and last time I ever got to participate in the game. My peers had called it 'Moving Spree', although I'm sure not even half of them properly knew what the words meant.

Only a week later we packed our belongings into our car and drove toward the airport. I was still excited. I'd never been on a plane before ─yet another game at preschool that I hadn't been able to participate in.

Thinking back on it now, there were a lot of stupid games I got excluded from. Maybe I wasn't as desirable company as I once had thought.

But now, that joy was far from gone, replaced with seething anger and a lingering burn of betrayal. I'd left my friends behind countless times by now. I should be used to it. But every time we moved someplace new, I held onto the hope that maybe this time it would be permanent. Maybe this time I could finally form those lifelong friendships I'd seen on TV.

I wanted nothing more than to finally settle down in a small town, a city, or even a hut in the woods. But no. My mother couldn't get enough of being desirable. I guessed that was what happened when you were an extraordinary surgeon. Everyone wanted you. I couldn't quite say I knew the feeling.

I knew by just looking at my mother's face what was happening. I'd seen that familiar expression far too many times to not know it by heart. She was guilty and sad. But I knew that she was also giddy and excited. She'd gotten a new offer. One that ─by the look on her face─ surpassed her latest one by far.

"I have some news." she began, and I could feel my expression drop, a lump forming in my throat as I fought the tears welling up in my eyes. "I got an offer, a better one. We'd have to move to Forks ─it's in Washinton. It's small and cozy and it rains often. You like the rain don't you?" she asked, peering at me through hopeful eyes.

I couldn't help but resent the way she made me feel guilty. For some reason completely unbeknownst to me, I found myself wanting to make sure she was alright ─as if I was in the wrong. I laughed bitterly and my mother frowned in concern.

I shook her off, replying to her question instead. "Sure." my short reply lacked the excitement that she had expected, but her optimism never wavered.

She smiled pleasantly at me. "Think of it as a new adventure of sorts. I mean, we haven't been in Washington yet, right?"

I closed my eyes as I let a soft sigh pass my lips, pinching the bridge of my nose between my thumb and pointer finger. She always did that. Trying to make me believe that moving away from everything I've known for the past few months is no big deal. Once she even compared it to buying a new shirt. That was when we moved from Orlando to Seattle.

"It'll be fine, Cassie." she'd said as she rummaged through my wardrobe, picking out the necessities for our move. "Think of it as... buying a new shirt! You look for something new, you don't want to buy something you already have." She'd been so proud of her little metaphor, even if it didn't make any sense whatsoever.

I'd been eleven at the time, and it had been our fourth move within a year and a half. I'd been sitting on the edge of my bed, fingers intertwined as I kept my gaze on the floor. I never dared to meet her eyes back then, knowing she could convince me with a single pout.

"But what if I don't want a new shirt?" I'd asked, hoping to change her mind. Orlando was the first place I'd managed to make real friends and I wasn't inclined to just leave them behind. "What if I liked my old shirts just fine?"

I could still vividly remember the condescending laugh that had left her maroon-painted lips that evening. Never had I felt so small and stupid as I did as I did when she tried her best to explain why exactly my opinion didn't quite matter as much as her's did.

"Oh, Cassandra." she'd begun and already I'd felt like a complete failure. She only ever used my full name when playing all-knowing parent. "You'll understand better when you're older, mija. Besides, I'm the parent and you're the child. I'm doing what's best for the both of us."

I was older now and I knew better than I did back then. My mother did quite care what was best for me. What mattered was that she was living her life exactly the way she'd dreamed when she was young. I was just something that got in the way of her adventurous life. A result of a drunken one-night stand.

Sometimes I wondered what would've happened if my mother hadn't hidden the pregnancy from my father and moved as far away from him as possible. I wondered if I would've had a better life living with him. If he wanted me, that is. Maybe, just like my mother, he wouldn't have wanted me.

Why my mother wouldn't just put me up for adoption, I don't know. I supposed the guilt would've been too much. But then again, she would've been happier without me around to ruin her fun.

"Mom, for once in your life, can't you please decline the offer? Or wait until the year is out to move us across the country? The schools here are wonderful and the teachers are nice enough to help me catch up. Maybe I could even try out for some extracurriculars. Janice said the swim team could help with my future college resumes." I tried to bargain with my mother, hoping for her to see my point in the matter.

I was wrong.

When she sighed in disappointment like she always did when I had something to say about moving, my entire body deflated. It was no use.

"Cassandra, we've been over this a hundred times already! I can't just say no to that kind of money and you know it," she argued, arms crossing over her chest. "Now go and pack your bags, we're leaving Friday."

She was always short with me when trying to stop me from spiraling down the path of blaming her for my life's faults. For her, it didn't matter that my life got ruined in the process of building hers. She couldn't, or rather wouldn't, be satisfied with what she already had.

"Fine, if you won't have a proper adult conversation with me, then I'll talk and you can listen," I said, remembering the little speech I'd prepared just in case this situation happened sooner than expected. "As you know, I turned eighteen a few weeks ago, which legally makes me an adult who can make decisions for myself. I'll move with you to Forks if you now want that for us, but that's it. After that, if you decide to move again, I'm not coming with you. I'll get a job, and I'll find a place of my own and then you can go wherever you'd like. You'll be free of me." I mirrored her actions from before, folding my arms across my chest as I leaned against the doorway.

My mother mouthed incoherent words, baffled by words. She stuttered, trying to find the words to build an argument against my decision. 

"Wha- Cassie you can't just say that and expect me to go along with it." she stared, her impeccable brows knitting together, forming frown lines across her forehead. "I mean, you're barely an adult. You can't take care of yourself properly yet."

My lips form an insincere smile. "Yes, I can actually. I have been for the past seven years, mom. I've been taking care of the chores to keep the house all neat and tidy for your weekly house parties with work, I do the dishes, make dinner and do my best to stay on top of my school work." she opened her mouth to argue but I silenced her with my hand. "My grades are no one's fault but yours. How am I supposed to learn if we move every third month?" I countered, tilting my head to the side as I frowned. 

My mother sighed again, this time out of exhaustion. "Can't we speak off this tomorrow? It's late," she stated, intertwining her hands in her lap.

I smiled. "You can try. But I won't change my mind. Just be glad I'm at least coming to Forks with you. I could've chosen to stay here, Janice's parents offered me a room at their house."

I patted her shoulder as I walked past out of the room, feeling oddly satisfied with myself. Maybe this time, I finally got to her. Maybe this time, things would be different.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

A/N

So this was the first chapter of set in stone, I sincerely hope y'all enjoyed it. I had a hard time at the beginning but once I got a clear picture of how I wanted Cassandra to think and act toward her slightly neglecting mother, things flowed pretty smoothly.

Do feel free to point out spelling mistakes or incorrect usage of grammar. English is not my first language and Grammarly can only help me out to a certain degree unless I pay for it, which I can't because I'm broke, lol.

Hope you all have an amazing rest of your day and I'll see you all next time. Bye, loves! <3

-Jazz