I laid down and closed my eyes while Jacob moved his hands to my temple. I relaxed as much as possible, trying my hardest to make my head feel like a feather.

I knew he was in when I felt the uncomfortable feeling I always did. But when the pain started this time, I wasn't just greeted with black. No. This time, I was greeted to my old room. The pain stopped, and I was brought into that memory.

I looked around and saw that the room was relatively empty, which led me to believe I was young and hadn't put my stamp on the place yet. Except there was a blonde woman in the room crouched in front of me.

She was younger than when I last saw her, but there was no denying that it was pigeon lady.

She moved from her crouch position to sit on the floor opposite me, her hands were out, and she was trying to coax me towards her. I must have been very young because even though she was talking and saying a lot, I couldn't understand what she was saying. It just sounded like gibberish.

I wasn't playing ball; I was just sitting in silence, staring at her. As I was still in my body in this memory, I couldn't move; I could only do what little I had done at the time.

I could see the lady getting more and more irritated by my disobedience. After she realised I wasn't going to do anything, she stood up and made her way to the door. She knocked, and the door opened.

Before the door closed behind her, I heard one word that my little brain seemed to comprehend.

"Walk."

I know that there was more to that word, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I was then pulled away and sent to another memory.

I must have been at least four years old as I could stand and walk. Also, when the pigeon lady spoke again, I could understand every word she said.

I could tell that she was rather angry and not amused by my childish antics of running around and giggling at her as she tried to catch me. I felt the giddiness within me; I knew for a fact that I hadn't had much human contact in a while because little me was craving attention from this lady I would otherwise find rather scary.

The fact I hadn't seen another memory since the last one made me think this was the second time she had come in. If this was left in my mind untouched and I wasn't being shown it on purpose, I probably wouldn't have been able to recall it anyway, so it must have meant they removed any memories of the pigeon lady from my head. At least, that's all for now.

In this memory, she was standing on the opposite side of the room, but she wasn't trying to be sweet; instead, she was trying to get me to cooperate. I was being very defiant and was very vocal about it.

She was trying to get me out of the room, but I was very determined not to go. I was being very vocal and brave; I just wanted her to stay and play. I had never left the room before, and when I had taken glimpses outside, I couldn't see anything but a dark hallway. I was young, and the idea of leaving was the only thing that scared me.

The pigeon lady had lost all patience eventually huffing while directing two guards in. They weren't wearing masks like they are now; instead, I could see the two guards' plain faces and blonde hair.

"Pick her up and take her to the lab."

Suddenly I was jolted and placed on the back of the holder's shoulder. I shouted, screamed, and smacked around as much as possible.

But nothing worked. They just kept walking out of the room.

I was screaming and moving so much that I didn't even realise we had left the dark hallway, and I was now in a new white room. The guard took me off his shoulder and carefully placed me on a metal chair in the centre of the room.

The room was clean and white, with only four main features. A metal chair, a door, a lightbulb and a wide mirror sat along the wall facing me. It was just above my eye line, so I couldn't see myself, but I could see the white room behind me. The guard told me to sit still; I complied instantly because I was scared and worried.

The guards stood behind me on either side of the chair. I knew if I tried to leave, they would be able to grab me in one swoop. The pigeon lady was seemingly happy with the guard's position because she gave them a once over and opened the door to a young man who walked in. He was wearing all black and had the same blonde hair that everyone else in the room had.

"Okay, I need you to push her mentally so she is forced to protect herself. Please don't kill her because we know she has some untouched power. We just need her to show it to us."

The pigeon left the room, and the young man stood directly in front of me. The pain I had been feeling every day for the last six weeks took over me as the man stared me down. It was horrible. I was screaming, crying and trying my best to get them to stop. The pain was all over, and it went on until I passed out and woke up back in my room.

The next couple of memories were the same. I would be sent to the white room and put in the chair while the young man caused as much pain as possible. I had become more and more compliant each time I was sent there.

It took me around five hundred and twenty-five sessions of mental torture before anything actually happened. I, of course, didn't see them all one by one; instead, I was fast-forwarded through the torture sessions. I didn't see them; I instead now had the memory of me counting each session I had, and that was the number I had gotten to. It was like I was bringing back every feeling I had, so I didn't need to see it to regain the memory of it. I was just seeing the key memories they hid the most.

I guessed I was around ten years old when I finally did something other than screaming and passing out.

I made the same walk to the white room; it had become so routine that I would now walk between the two guards; I was so numb that I just walked without complaint. I sat on the chair, and they tied me up. They had started tying me up after my first six sessions as I had started scratching myself. I could still see the scars from the times I had managed to get deep enough into my skin.

The young man, who was now very much a man, walked in and stood in his usual position, mumbling like he always did about this being a waste of time.

Then the door opened again, and the pigeon lady came in; this was the first time I had seen her since my first session. I knew she had been watching from behind the mirror, but being in the room was rare.

As I grew taller, I started to be able to see myself in the mirror, but I never looked good. I had dark circles, matted hair and looked so skinny. So, I had now made it a routine to look away from the mirror each time I came in. I hated seeing myself like this, especially after seeing so many young, healthy kids walking past my window.

"I want to try something else this time."

She put her head to his ear and whispered something to the man; he smirked as she spoke. Once she was done, she nodded at him, looked down at a clipboard, and started writing notes as she left the room. I don't know why but seeing him smirking and her walk out so casually without even giving me a sign I was there, made me want to try so hard to fight it this time. In all other sessions, I hadn't tried to fight back that much, but this time, I was determined not to let the man hurt me.

As the pain started, I took a few calming breaths and tried to focus on keeping my eyes open to stare at the man causing all the pain. Previously I had just screamed and struggled, but this time, I wouldn't let the psychopath have the satisfaction.

I looked right at him and thought about all the pain he had been causing me to be reversed onto him. I hoped he would suffer the way I had been the last several years.

I stared at him and felt the pain dissipate; I now saw the man squirming. He was starting to open his mouth, but the idea of him screaming sickened me, so I don't know what I did, but I silenced him. For the next few minutes, he was crawling on the ground, trying to get to the door, but I wasn't going to allow that, so I tried my hardest to focus on him not being here anymore.

The next thing I knew, I had blacked out and woke up in my room. I looked down to see I had blood all over me. I quickly undressed and got into the shower.

I knew things had changed after that. I had a feeling the sessions would definitely increase.

I was right about the increase in sessions because when I was pulled into the next memory, it was only a few days after the last one. I knew this because, my thoughts were still on what I did. I tried my best to hide it from them, but I was dying inside. I felt so dirty, and I was now showering three times a day, scrubbing my body until I was red raw.

As usual, I was placed in the seat again while the guards stood behind me, but they now held buttons with a few weapons in their belts. I really tried to avoid the mirror now. I didn't want to see the horrid person I would forever be.

When the pigeon lady came in, she was accompanied by two new people. I braced myself. No matter what they did, I wasn't going to have a repeat of last time. I wouldn't let my anger get the best of me. What I did was wrong; I can't allow that to happen again.

I closed my eyes, expecting to receive the pain like always, but nothing happened. Instead, I felt nothing, so I opened my eyes, and one of the two people smiled, looking straight at me. I then felt a pull at the back of my head, and I blacked out.

When I awoke, I was stood over one of the two guards with a baton in my hand covered in blood. I crouched down to his battered face to feel his neck, but he had no pulse.

I stood up so fast that I felt myself falter with dizziness. I then looked down at the bloody baton and dropped it immediately.

Had I done that?

I kept repeating the words to myself repeatedly until I started hyperventilating. I was getting really panicked when I was injected in the back, and I awoke back in my bed.