« AHANA »

“Nice to meet you, Pradeep, I'm Ahana,” I introduced myself to his friend, shaking hands with him.

His eyes assessed me up and down, making me slightly uncomfortable. “Vansh did tell me he had a girlfriend but I didn't know she was this cute. Ahana, you are more adorable in person. No wonder you were so discreet about it.”

“Hey, no hitting on my girlfriend. She's mine,” Vansh said light heartedly and we all shared a laugh. Although that statement of me being his was supposed to make me swoon, it instead annoyed me dunno why. Nonetheless, I stayed mum and simply smiled at both of them. It was his day after all.

Today Vansh brought his colleague, Pradeep to meet me in person. It had been ten days since they started talking to each other but I could see that they were getting along. Vansh expressed how lonely and dull he used to feel before. I felt for him but I couldn't be there for him 24/7. He needed a friend badly which was why I was happy for him.

The three of us sat together for a little snack at the Burger King. Pradeep excused himself to the toilet, leaving both of us in our company.

“How is he?” Vansh asked once Pradeep was out of earshot.

“Okey- dokey, I guess,” I said then pursued my lips before continuing, “But I find him a little... strange I think. I don't know if you noticed but he seemed to throwing a lot of flirty comments at me. A few times is okay but after that is plain annoying.”

“I know, I know. I notice those things far better than you and I didn't like it either. Don't worry, I'll make sure to warn him off afterwards. He'll stay in line,” he winked and downed another long sip of his cold drink.

“You sure have faith him considering you've known him for a week. Didn't you forget how he ignored you when you asked him to join his group back then? Now suddenly this guy comes and says hi. Seems a bit odd to me.”

He let out a laugh. It sounded bitter. “Ridiculous. You're overthinking. I don't even remember that tiny incident now. Seriously, Ahana, can't you be happy for me?”

“I am happy for you, Van. I was just trying to warn—”

He didn't even listen halfway as he cut me off. “Then just be, alright.”

I felt something tug at my heartstrings. Probably hurt with the way he was siding with his one- week- friend rather than a four- year- old- relationship me. By the time I was about to answer, Pradeep came back. He was looking between the two of us with curious eyes and I wondered if he caught on something. Then without permission he sat down next to me. Close. “Don't kill me.” 

“Oi, what are you—”

“Chill buddy! No need to be jealous. I'm already with you everyday in the office but your girlfriend is a different story. I'm just utilizing this time. Right, dear?” He said, turning to look at me but then distanced after I glared at him. “Alright, okay, okay, I was just playing around.”

“I was playing around too,” I said, a mischievous smile playing on my lips and even Vansh smiled at this one. I was such a devil.

Pradeep then badmouted Vansh and I joined in, talking about some of his bad habits while Vansh sulked in his seat. But then he complimented Vansh saying he had an eye for 'vision and design' and would most probably land himself in a big shot deal in the future. I felt proud hearing that. Pradeep did seem like a good, energetic guy, though he was laughing too much as well. Almost as if he was faking it, but I wouldn't bother pointing out to Vansh this time. Not if he was gonna side with his one- week- friend again.

~

Vansh and I had a habit of snapping selfies when we were away. It included something as random as Vansh posing himself besides a street dog or something funny as creating a meme out of ourselves. Well, sort of. Lately Vansh's selfies had been with someone or the other. Mostly those 'others' included Pradeep, his groupies alongwith some other colleagues. That was how I came to know about his circle of friends now and the fact that he was finally settling down. I would also send him a few group snaps in order to tease him.

As months passed, too many photos had piled up in our phone's memory right from our college days. Plus they were becoming repetitive— Same place, same people, same background. Vansh started to send less selfies while I almost didn't send him unless he asked for it. At one point, we stopped sending selfies altogether. We were fine with it though. Just like how we were fine with meeting only once biweekly. We had our individual lives besides each other, it was completely understandable.

Delhi had the kind of dry winter that suffocated people with it's smog. We skipped our date that week as it was too toxic to roam outside. While I was too tired to travel forty minutes to his apartment and back home after work. Thankfully, the stupid smog decided to leave us, poor Delhilites after a while. Vansh and I agreed to meet on upcoming Saturday so that we can have a full day to ourselves. This time, I decided to surprise him by gifting a new grey jacket. Excited, I arrived at our destination on time and patiently waited for him inside a KFC restaurant. I held the jacket in my hands and imagined him in it. Fifteen minutes passed.

Perhaps the city traffic held him up. I resorted to playing mobile games for the time being.

Twenty minutes passed.

I called him a few times over but he wasn't picking his phone. Moreover, watching people around me eating to their hearts content wasn't helping my growling stomach either. I ordered a plate of chicken pops and fried rice to pass my time for the time being.

Forty minutes passed.

By this time, I was convinced something was wrong. Did he even remember our date? He still wasn't picking up his phone, making me think of all the crazy ideas by his lack of response. The plastic bag that held his supposedly jacket seemed to be mocking back at me, threatening me to dump it straight into the dustbin. Maybe I should gift it to one of my friends instead. Maybe Xander or Piyush. That would suffice.

Fifty- five minutes passed.

I was heading home via Metro station when my phone ringed and I let out a sigh of relief. I rushed to stand at one corner so that I could let out my wrath on him for making me wait endlessly. However his words weren't something I expected.

“Morning An! Ha, I know it's not quite morning anymore. Actually I was sleeping,” Vansh said, his voice hoarse followed by a yawn that sounded pathetic to my own ears. “I had a mind-blowing party last night. You remember Eshaan from our finance department? It was his. We stayed outside for a late night drive till four in the morning. I woke up just a minute ago after seeing your missed calls. What's wrong? Do you want to meet today?”

I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. Anger boiled inside of me like a ball of fire just waiting to burst out. I clenched my teeth hard. Where the hell should I even start?

“Ahana, you are quiet. What's—”

“Does your empty brain remember our chat yesterday? Or did that friend's party brainwashed you to forget even that.”

“What are you—”

“Just check your messages, you mug head!” I spat. There was a pause on the other side of the phone though it did nothing to calm me down. “Did you fuckin' check or shall I screenshot our chat to you?”

“No, I didn't but I think I know what you're talking about...” he replied quietly.

"You think you know what you're talking about? Are you shitting me?!" I raised my voice. “I woke up early morning, got ready, traveled all the way to Connaught place then waited for you for one freaking hour and what I hear? Our highness has been dozing off under the warm covers while I've been waiting in this shitty weather outside. I even—”

“Sorry, it completely slipp—”

“— prepared to surprise you with this jacket I bought, but you? Not only did you forget our date but you were sleeping throughout the whole freaking time. Wow, just wow!” I rambled on, my nerves rattling, my temper losing. Took a deep breath to calm down though it didn't seem to work. Hell, even my head was starting to hurt now.

“Ahana, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I feel like shit right now,” he said, his voice remorseful.

“Then don't. You are lucky you're not here right now otherwise I might have pulled your hair,” I said, letting out a frustrating groan but Vansh, the fool took it the other way.

“Sounds kinky.”

“Because that's all your empty head thinks about. You know what? I'm done. I'm ending the call.”

“No, please wait! I was just attempting to crack a joke. Look, I'm extremely sorry, Ahana. I swear I didn't hope for this to happen but I can make it up to you. Just give me half an hour. I'll get ready in a flash and visit you. Just wait for a little—”

“Wait, my ass! I'm not going to wait even a second longer than this. What's the point when I'm not in the mood to see your stupid face?”

“Don't say that, you're hurting me. See, I just got up and I'm heading towards my bathroom to take my brush—”

“I don't care what you're doing, damn you! You can go back to sleep for all I care. I'm going home,” I snapped, already making my way towards the platform. “And don't even try to call me back. Bye.”

With that I ended the call and fished my phone inside my handbag. Even after I crossed two stations as I seated inside the train, my phone continued to beep. Annoyed, I took my phone out and switched it off for good. It felt good doing that.

I didn't talk to him until much later that day. My anger subsided a bit till then and eventually, I forgave him.

We decided our next proper meet on Tuesday evening. I spent my day in my office as usual. By the end of my shift, I received a message from him, dutifully letting me know that he remembered this time. I gave my usual reply, did a little touch up on my face and left for the station.

Except the route I took wasn't the one leading to Vansh.

At first, I bought time by giving excuses that I'll be late. But after forty minutes, I decided to throw him the nicest surprise by telling him that I reached home. Vansh didn't believe my words at first, but when I didn't deter away from my answer, he fell speechless.

“Why?” He asked, his voice frail.

“Aw, just think of this as a prank I did on you. You know, tit for tat.”

“It hardly feels like a prank to me.” I could practically imagine him gritting his teeth with the way his voice sounded.

“Come on! I didn't even make you wait that long. Just forty minutes compared to one hour. You are angry, aren't you? You should be. That's exactly how I felt.”

“I thought you forgave me, Ahana. I was genuinely sorry and I genuinely apologized to you so many fucking times. What else in the world was I supposed to do?!”

“Oh, I did forgave you alright. I'm not that resentful. Think about it this way— You'll never forget about any of our dates in the future. Neither will I. This just makes us even.”

“I was thinking about stopping by to have a cup of tea. I was hungry too, but I didn't eat anything. You know why? Because I didn't want to make you wait for one freaking second. Maybe I wouldn't have felt angry, but knowing that you did this on purpose after I committed an accidental mistake, makes it much, much worse. Didn't know you had it in you to play such dirty tricks. So rude. Proves how damn nasty you can be behind that pretty face.”

I groaned. “Come on, you're being way over the line now. And don't try to act like you are innocent. You have fooled so many people over the years. Just when someone tricks you, you call her nasty.”

“Oh, just shut up and end the phone for fuck's sake! Your voice is pricking my ear drums.” 

“Say what? How could—” I snapped but was cut off with the sound of a beep in my ears. How dare he? I tried calling him back but he didn't pick. On the second try, he had the damn thing switched off like he was trying to say, Tit for tat, too. I closed my eyes, trying not to lose my nerve by throwing my phone across the bedroom.

I admit my move wasn't aimed to be nice, but I didn't think he would overreact like I was a pest. If he thought I'd call him later then he was so, so wrong.

We didn't meet up for a while, fearing that one of us might stand the other up. I wouldn't pull that again, but Vansh didn't trust me this time, and neither did I.

When I said 'for a while', I meant fourty- one days.

So when we made sure to meet on the fourty second day, we justified our words by clicking photos of the digital board inside the coach that displayed the name of the stations as it reached. This way, each of us knew that we were heading towards the right direction.

Funny thing was, neither of us apologized— Him for overreacting and me for pulling out that prank. Maybe we were too egoistic to admit but either way, we were fine with holding that little piece of resentment. No need to create a fuss over something so trival. We headed to his apartment to make up for the lost time.

~

I was in the office having lunch with few of my female colleagues. Out of four girls, two of us were already done with our lunch so we decided to pass time by showing pictures that we clicked from our phone.

"Damn, your man is hawt!" Maya who was checking out my digital photo album, commented. It was a photo of Vansh running a hand through his hair and smirking at the camera. But Maya wasn't aware of the story behind the picture. Vansh had deleted atleast twenty snaps before this one, just to get his face angle right. Nonetheless, I smiled at her in return, feeling a sense of pride at someone complimenting my boyfriend. The rest of the girls got curious and asked Maya to show them his pictures.

“How long are you in this relationship again?” Tejaswi asked.

“Four and a half years,” I answered. Feels like ten years to me.

Tejaswi's eyes widened in awe. “Wow, that's a long time. You're so lucky you have romance in your life. Look at me and Mitali, we can't even flirt properly at twenty-three, forget getting into a relationship.” 

“Agreed Tejaswi. I'm seriously jealous of you committed people. It's not fair.” Mitali quickly swallowed up the last bite of her vegetable and closed her lunch box.

I chuckled. “Seriously guys, you don't need to get jealous of me and Maya. Getting into a relationship is no big deal. It feels spectacular in the early stages but as years pass, it feels as normal as brushing your teeth every morning.”

Maya draped an arm around me and faced the other two girls. “You just stole the words right out of my mouth, girl. I don't know why you girls need to cry over the fact that you're single. I mean, I love my man but you don't know how stressful it is, to maintain a relationship. We already have so much stress in our lives. A romantic relationship just adds to that list. Many times I can't help but think I'd be better off being single. Isn't that right Ahana?”

“Agree, agree,” I said somewhat hesitant. I did agree with what Maya said however I didn't build up a scenario in my mind where I wasn't committed. It's just that Vansh was so ingrained into my life that I didn't think about the possibility of living without him. The other two girls still protested, saying we didn't know how it felt to remain boyfriend- less for twenty three years. I got that but still, I didn't see remaining single as a big deal.

The four of us dispersed ourselves as we left the office building but for some reason, Maya stayed back. I eyed her back because I knew she wanted to say something.

“You know I'm kind of envious of you too,” she started, making me raise my brows at her. She zipped her jacket as we stepped outside in a corner. Then facing me, she continued. “I ended a three year relationship, two years back. I loved him dearly, but things messed up in the end. But I really want to make this one work. How you guys do it? How do you maintain a long term relationship?”

“Oh,” I said, letting her words sink in and thought about the question. I turned my eyes towards the busy road ahead of me. How do we maintain our relationship huh? Seconds ticked by with no answer coming out of my mouth. Shockingly, I couldn't think of a single, life- changing reason to give.

“Nothing!”

“Nothing?”

Might as well make a clown out of myself. “Yeah! We do nothing. Just go on with the flow. Suck it up just like how we suck it up to our lives, unless your partner happens to be abusive or a cheating bastard that is.”

“Umm, thanks... That's one way to look at it,” Maya said and we did that thing where we were totally fake smiling at each other, to keep up with the appearances. Yup, I screwed up.

My thoughts mulled over the conversation on my way back home. What I said about our relationship sorta ringed through. We really were going with the flow with nothing sort of spectacular happening between us. Atleast it was better than facing an argument, like before. Then why... Why didn't I feel good about it? Was it really okay in the long run? The lame advice I gave to Maya— Was it really something we should follow it through? 

If we should, then I must say— it's pretty boring.

~

D e d i c a t i o n

kryanakavirika for your continuous support, for motivating me and for your sweet comments of this story and the previous one. Thank you Riddhi! 😘

A u t h o r' s   N o t e

I know this chapter was a little meh but as I said- Patience haha! 😅 (Ps- I couldn't help but laugh everytime I got to the scene where Ahana snapped at him for forgetting. Was it just me? OK, nevermind) PSS- Do you know that I'm already a few chapters ahead. I just finished writing chapter six and seriously, I feel like posting all the chapters just to show you chapter 5 and 6 but no, I'll make you wait cos I'm a sadistic writer. 😈

Anyway, thoughts about this chapter. Do you feel that something or someone is changing? Is it Ahana, Vansh or both? Let me hear your thoughts. (With a cherry 🍒 on top)

See you next week. xoxo.