Serilda

My mind raced with conflicting emotions as I stared into Aaron's eyes. The accusation hung heavy in the air, and I desperately wanted to believe that the suspicions were unfounded. But my intuition, fueled by subtle cues, told me otherwise. There was something that he had been hiding for too long and succeeding at it too.

How many signs have I missed? Was I that careless in love or was he too smart to hide everything?

My eyes turned towards Erik, he knew something but it was still not the full story. He might not be in the dark as much as I was but he wasn't in the light too.

"Erik, sit down we are going to discuss everything," I pointed towards the chair beside Aaron's bed whose eyes followed all my moments. Rather than bringing out another chair beside his bed, I took to settle myself on the sofa where I had been sitting for so long.

I stared at Aaron, observing his reactions. His eyes didn't waver from mine the eye contact was not lost but I noticed a flicker of something in his eyes, a mix of guilt, defensiveness, and a hint of fear. It was small but a significant detail that did not align with the innocence I had hoped to find. The truth seemed to be lurking beneath the surface, waiting to be revealed, and as much as I wanted to stay safe inside my bubble, I knew I had to break it off to be able to see the dangers lurking around me.

As I looked at Aaron all I could think was what going inside of him. Was the truth clawing on his insides to get out? Because it gnawed on my mind leaving me anxious and conflicted.

"Tell me what you know, Erik," my words were for Erik but my eyes were on Aaron. The way his facial expression didn't change and his unwavering eyes seemed to hold a mixture of guilt and sorrow, I knew there was a subtle admission of something he wished to conceal.

"Serilda, I don't think this is the right time," I stopped him with the gesture of my hand.

"Did you really think about the time when you started speaking about it?" My words left both astounded. Did they really think I was weak and subtle? Their expression told me that was what they thought and somewhere I felt ashamed of the fact.

"Just tell me what you know, Erik. I have been through the worst and there is nothing that could phase me. You and all others had once done a good job in messing me up," Erik's eyes couldn't hold mine the shame and guilt still weighed heavenly on him. Was it wrong of me to make him remember that again? I know it was but none of us can change that past and we have to learn to accept it.

"It couldn't be worse than that and even if it is I will have to face it. It's the only way one can live and move on but for that, I need to know as much as both of you know." I changed my tone to a calm and soothing one. There was no point in fighting right now we all were fighting our own internal battles. Our demons were already trying to bring us down what was the point in fighting with each other?

"Who is the other woman, Erik?" I cut through the chase when none of them spoke. They didn't want to start this conversation at all.

"I had come down to San Francisco because Aaron told me he was taking a vacation. I had assumed that he was going on holiday with you." I focused my eyes on Erik because looking at Aaron would just hurt me. I wanted to be mad at Erik for starting from the beginning because it felt like he was slowly peeling the band-aid from my wounds rather than ripping it off in one go.

"I was taken aback by your appearing at the office because you were supposed to be with Aaron but then the call came and you fainted. It wasn't until that we reached the hospital and fainted on me, I came to know that he was with some other woman," Erik's eyes couldn't meet mine. Looking past me, he just stared at the wall.

I remember hearing something like that right before I fainted. The memories came back crashing, Erik's secretary talking something about Aaron's wife. Mentally I felt a slap on my face because this wasn't the first time that this happened. Suddenly the pain that I was about to feel also seemed to hand me down from myself. Everything felt like hand-me-downs in my life.

"Who was she?" I didn't let my lips quiver letting them know what turmoil was going inside of me.

"Serena," I heard the name and my eyes shut close. My lips parted as if to let out the intense pain that was breaking me, in a sigh. Tears leaked out of my shut eyes and how much I wanted to stop them they didn't. They were tears of pain.

Her. Of all women why her? All woman who had put me through hell, she had been a major contributor, no she has been the only contributor to it. Was she obsessed with me or were all the people I know obsessed with her? Any other woman wouldn't have hurt my feeling as much as her name did yet the agony, I burned in was nothing short of him drowning me in the sea with his own hands. It was as if he was trying to kill me.

"Serilda," his voice pierced through the fog of misery my mind was surrounded with. "I want you to understand that things are not as they seem," his words didn't soother the pain that I was drowning in.

"There is more to this than meets the eye, but I can't disclose everything just yet because believe me I don't know how to explain everything to you. I don't even know where to start," I could hear the desperation in his voice mixed with remorse. My heart sank at his response, a mix of relief and dread washing over me.

"Why her Aaron? Off all the people why her?" I questioned, my voice laced with accusation and pain as my lips trembled.

"It wasn't a choice, Serilda. My hands were tied and I won't lie, I tied them myself. I wanted to shield you from everything yet here we are," his voice strained yet I didn't have the heart to open my eyes and look at him. I could hear the sadness and vulnerability in those words. He felt helpless but what about me I felt as if my whole world was spinning on its axis throwing me off.

A mix of pain and anger coursed through my veins. The world around me seemed to fade as I grappled with the implications of Aaron's words. The weight of the moment was suffocating, leaving me gasping for answers. I wanted to break through the surface and breathe.

"I'm your tormentor in this moment and for more to come but just don't forget that you are my greatest love. Everything has always been about you. Even in my wildest dreams, I would never hurt you and for cheating on you, I would rather slit my own wrist and die. All I wanted to do was to keep you safe and sound away from this and I have failed even at that," his words were full of remorse but all I could hear was the pain in his voice.

"You should have told someone about it, Aaron," Erik spoke up. "You know what she has done to all of us. How vicious she had been? Do you really think that you could have fought this battle on your own? She is a devil in the human body. All these years didn't you understand how low she would go just to get what she wants I won't lie but she has an obsession with destroying Serilda's life," he accused his brother of being careless. I opened my eyes with tears still rolling down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them even how badly I wanted.

With Erik, I knew where I stood but Aaron was my everything and that is why it hurt more than last time.

Everything hurt but a hand on my stomach gave me strength that I had to stay strong for my child and my marriage. I knew Aaron's love for me was not brittle that could break so easily. He wasn't a man who would leave me for another woman.

Even though I was suffocating in pain from Erik's side of the story and the affirmation of something absolutely going on by Aaron's word, I knew deep down that there was more to the story.

I never had any faith in Erik in our three years of marriage but I had blind faith in Aaron, that he would never do anything to hurt me intentionally. All he had been is supporting me, a voice of reason, never letting me go to bed hungry, feeding me even when I was angry, showing me love even when he didn't have to. In all the memories of our marriage till now, I could never see that he had done anything to hurt me. Not a single day, where I had to cry because of him.

"She wanted that, Erik," he snapped at his brother. "She wanted the attention. Don't you think I would have not thought of talking about this to you or Nathaniel? I would have loved to talk about this to anyone and Serena wanted this. Ever since her divorce from Nathaniel last year, she has been sending letters to our home," I looked at Aaron with disbelief in my eyes. He was angry and upset. The pain and worry etched over his face was not something I had ever seen. Never had he shown this side of himself to me.

Erik seemed fazed by how quickly he had snapped at him. Aaron's turned to me and I could see the concern over his face for me.

"But Aaron," Erik's words died down the way Aaron turned towards him.

"The content in those letters will make you want to go and kill her, Erik," he said, his voice seething with rage.

"She is malicious and we both know that she's capable of doing terrible things. We all have seen her anger and jealousy firsthand. She wants to hurt her and to that, she is using me as a pawn in her revenge and anyone she could get her claws in. Serena has crossed all limits stooping down to an all-time low just to have whatever she wants I had no choice but to keep it myself because you have no idea what she has done to me and wants to do to her," his words dripped with a venomous rage that sent shivers down my spine. The weight of the letters, the hidden truths, seemed to hang heavily in the air, poisoning the atmosphere with an undeniable tension.

The worry and anger were drowning him. I could see how it was ripping him apart, speaking the truth out loud was only pushing him towards pain.

It hurt to see him like this. He was hurting as much as I was and suddenly I had no doubts about his intentions.

A part of me wanted this to end her, to no tot push for more because I could see how much in pain he was because of all of this but there was this other side of me who knew that if I didn't know the truth I could never know what Serena was up to. I had to know more but I was scared to put him through misery because of it. I could see that he was suffering seeing me like this and deep down he didn't have the heart to put me through more pain.

"She told the doctors that you are her baby's father," my world stopped. My eyes turned towards Aaron, who just closed his eyes shut. His hands clenched in a fist so hard that I could see his nails digging into his flesh.

"Because I'm," the words were barely a whisper but they felt too loud in the silence that filled the room.

Suddenly it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was not suffocating but I just couldn't breathe at all. It felt like someone has knocked the breath out of me, and punched me so hard that all I could feel was nothing but pain. With every breath my lungs pulled all I could feel was agony burning me. All my veins and muscles were crushing under this agony I have never felt.

This was the real pain of a breaking heart and it was nothing as I have experienced before. It was crucifying. Burning me from the inside out.

Let the pains begin.