Serilda

I sat quietly in the room looking at the empty bed. Aaron had been taken away for some tests and even though I had wanted to go with him, I had seen how he had looked at me. How everyone had looked at me as I had blasted over a name on the phone. Aaron's phone was gone, I had broken it under the pressure of my foot until it had stopped ringing. Erik had to be the one to guide me to the sofa.

They all were looking as if I had gone crazy but they didn't know even an inch of the truth. Going to Nevada had the wounds of the past resurfaced. I hated her with my everything and to see her name on his phone instilled a fear inside of me that she was back to her past antics.

Where was she? How did she even have his number? Why did he even have saved her number? I wanted to understand it all but I just couldn't. I was still reeling from the fact that she still had such a hold over my mind and emotions.

"Serilda," I looked up to see Erik at the door. He had accompanied Aaron for his tests. I looked behind him to see whether Aaron was with him but he wasn't. Erik caught up to my line of sight.

"They are still running some tests, Aarons wanted me to check up on you," I just stared at him.

Seeing him was not helping at the moment. All the past rush of memories was bombarding me. All those times when he had been with her while married to me. The pain, the misery, the way I suffered, how I lost myself, drowning in the abyss of darkness taking down even Aaron with me, The tears I had tried to hold escaped but I was able to catch up with them with a swift wipe of my hand.

Forgiving anyone is not the worst part it is the forgetting part. People can change but the scars of the wounds they inflicted upon you will always stay.

"I'm good," my voice was a bit shaky as I tried to control the onset of the emotion that was causing me nothing but pain.

"Don't let her fuck you up," I wanted to laugh at his words. Wasn't he the one who had a life aim to fuck me up? There was bitterness in my thoughts but I didn't let it escape through my words.

"It is what she is best at and who would know it better than us," he didn't come inside the room just leaned on the door as he added.

"There are days when I just wish upon her death," I wasn't ashamed of my thoughts. No one would know the pain I had gone through.

"So would I," the sadistic laugh he gave me made me wonder how tables were turned. There might have been a time when he would have said the exact words for me with Serena beside him. I was the one to look away from him because the more I looked at him I felt raw from the inside as old wounds tried to resurface.

"You should go tell him that I'm alright," I have moved on but the memories would never be forgotten. Not wanting to hear anything from him, I moved towards the adjoining bathroom. I needed to let out the pain before it drowned me. Locking myself in the bathroom I looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked tired but my eyes spoke too many things that only I could understand. Tears brimmed in them as I stared at them. The pain, the suffering, and the misery, it was all in there. I had lived a life where everything was wrong. Even my breathing felt wrong back then but not now. I closed my eyes letting the tears flow as the past memories bombarded me.

My soul would always carry the scars that were left behind. I would always worry about being hurt because I had people tear me apart bit by bit. Alone and hanging by a thread I had built myself up from the pain I had let myself suffer from.

Even when I was the victim, I had let myself be victimized. I had let them inflict wounds on me when I should have run away but where did I have to go to? Whom did I have back then? Everyone hated me, Aaron hated me, and the man I married loathed me. I had no one but myself to rely upon and I even failed myself.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I cried for how I had let myself be hurt. I had been this person who had stood myself up when I needed me the most. All the pain they made me go through I wish I could have fought back when it was hurting. The power to stand as the pain knocked me down, made me a cripple, I wish I could have done something back then.

I had let myself drown in the ocean as the storm was above me. The darkness surrounded me and I had let it back then. Taking a deep breath in I realized that there was no choice for me back then. The situation and emotions made me weak. They made me suffer and it was only when the storm from the above passed I had been able to break the surface. Swim through the ocean and stand up for myself.

Opening my eyes I looked at myself, the pain was receding. It was turning away as I remembered how I had fought for myself, how I had stopped being a victim and played with my mind. The power I had felt back then as I pull everyone down from the pedestal they stood on. Killing her mental peace was what helped me heal. Seeing them in pain is what healed me. I healed through the pain I gave them. So yes I could face everything even her.

Taking another deep breath I wiped away the tears.

In the mirror, I saw myself rising from the depths I had fallen into. In the end, I was human and even if I broke down I would always stand back up especially when I had a future to think about. My child will always come first to me. I could go to war with myself in order to save my child and husband.

I loved my unborn child this fiercely. A hand over my tummy made me feel as if I was a warrior and that was what I needed to be in my life.

Washing my face, I cleaned myself up. Removing all the traces of what I had gone through in the past few hours.

Standing right at the door I heard the voices. Two brothers were talking. How long has Aaron been here as I let myself lose in a pity party of mine. It was him who I needed to be beside him rather than doubting him.

"She doesn't know anything and see how affected has this got her," Erik's voice was barely above a whisper. "She just saw her name, Aaron."

"I have been trying to save her from all this, to keep her away from her at all costs," he hushed out. Save me from her. I stood there with my hand on the handle. I could have just twisted the knob and got out. Even be a part of the conversation but would they have told me anything? Deep down I knew that they would have gone quiet just from the rattle of the handle. Turning around I just turned on the faucet, and the sound of water running gave them a false pretense.

Moving near the door I put my ear to the door, eavesdropping in a conversation not meant for me.

"And did you succeed? Like did you? Do you have any idea what would have happened if she saw her," the anger in Erik's voice spoke volumes causing the raise in my heartbeat.

"I didn't want any of this to happen. I didn't. Serilda has always been my first priority. I would put my life on line for her and that's what I have been doing without regret," his last words felt like a balm to my soul. His words just drained out the anxiety and pain I held. I was his first, and I had always been second in everything all through my life. He had shown me what it felt like to be a first priority. The first thought in someone's mind, heart, and life. He had shown me again and again.

"There is a difference between me and you, Erik. All I do is for her only. Just for her. She is my reason to live, the only reason I push myself to be better because she deserves a lot after what you all put her through," the words swayed me. They pulled at my heart's strings making me fall in love with him all over again. Silence fell upon the room as I stood with my heart beating rapidly against my chest. Deep down I knew that there has to be more to it for them to fight over it.

"Then how could you do something like this to her? You think she would be happy to hear how you were involved in an accident with another woman beside you," I stood there in silence as Erik's voice was no longer that of a whisper. "You lied to everyone about where you were. If she hadn't shown up to the office I would have never come to know the truth. No one would have." My heart dropped to my stomach.

The feeling of betrayal and deception tried to pull me in but I was stronger than this. People don't hurt the people they love. I didn't want to arrive right at the conclusion. In the battle between right and wrong, the wrong had no right to win.

Twisting the handle I pulled open the door. The faces turned my way and I looked at them with the sound of water still running in the background.

There was concern over their faces and they had every right to have it. Erik couldn't meet my eyes, turning his head away. Maybe unintentionally he had rose his voice and let the truth slip but he knew it was wrong of him.

Aaron just stared at me with watery eyes.

I just stared at him and he didn't look away at all. If he had done something wrong he couldn't have looked at me like that. He would have averted his eyes but that wasn't the case with us.

"Let's just hear the truth," I didn't turn away from him.

I knew what pain was, I knew what betrayal felt. I had gone through it all once but maybe this time it could be different.

The truths had never set me free so let the pains begin.

Let the pains begin.

This time Serilda is ready for it.

She is going to fight tooth and nail for her child and husband.

The truth has never set her free but love will.