they don't tell you

until it's too late

how perfectionism

can be flawlessly

self-destructive

it's not fair

because they're the reason

this is instilled in me

it's instinct now

can't fight it

and if it's 

not good enough

it's the fault in my hands

and in my mind

and in my soul

a ruthless cycle

of never letting go

chasing a standard 

i had once and lost

a failure

a time ago

i hit my peak 

and i was miserable then

and i'm even more

miserable now

but even now

i know it's a hallucination

a false image of faded glory

when perhaps i have been alright

all along