I found someone I never want to lose --- but life was being rude to me.

Lahat na lang ba ng importanteng tao sa buhay ko, e kailangan akong iwan? How will I be able to live life if no one wants to stay at my side? Or rather, the challenges of life make them leave me... For good.

There's only one thing I did while I was sitting on the waiting chair outside of the ICU. I could feel how my hands shivered even though I tried to stop it. Umaapaw ang nerbyos sa katawan ko sa tuwing tumatagal ang mga doktor sa loob ng ICU. Mas nadaragdagan 'yong takot ko sa katawan na baka may masama ng nangyari kay Julia.

"Hush now, Magi. Everything will be alright," sambit ni Delancy as she tapped my shoulders. "Hindi tayo pababayaan ng nasa itaas. Magtiwala lang tayo, okay?"

"Kasalanan ko 'to," nahihikbi kong sambit. "Sana bago ko pinairal 'yong galit ko, sinabi ko muna sa inyo 'yong dapat ninyong malaman." 

"What is that, Magi?" Delancy asked, surprisingly.

I looked at her. "Trisha threatened me that I have only three days para alamin kung sino ang killer. Unable to do so, siya ang kikilos para patayin ang killer --- and that was Julia. I have no doubts, si Trisha ang may pakana nito."

Her face screams astounded because of what I've said. "Bakit naman gagawin ni Trisha 'yon... Wait!"

"She's involved in the assassination. Hawak ni Julia ang mga evidences para ituro na pakana lahat ni Trisha, that's why that bitch attempts to took Julia's life."

Tuluyan kong naibagsak ang tingin sa sahig dala ng panghihina. I'm so disappointed in myself. Hindi sana mangyayari 'to kung sinabi ko kaagad sa kanila ang tungkol doon. Edi sana naprotektahan ko si Julia at wala sanang ganito na mangyayari.

I'm such an idiot. Even though I tried to not let myself be eaten by my emotions, still my sentiments always win.

"Sshh, don't feel guilty," Delancy said. "Wala akong dahilan para magalit sa iyo, or either tossed the blame on you. We all didn't expect this to happen. Might be this was all planned by the Lord. Lend our faith in Him, and he'll do the rest." Kahit halatang pilit, she still managed to smile at me. "If ever you feel na galit ako sa iyo, no, I'm not. I respect those people who tell the truth, no matter how hard it is."

"Yeah," I replied. "And so do I. Thank you for telling me the truth, though it's kinda late but still, I appreciate that despite how I will react the moment na malaman ko ang totoo, both of you choose to be true."

"Oo naman!" aniya. "Kung alam mo lang kung gaano kahirap sa kalooban ko na magsinungaling sa iyo. Halos gabi-gabi akong nakokonsensya dahil sa ginawa ko, kasi parang tinatraydor na kita, e.

Sa kabila ng mga kabutihan na ginawa mo para sa akin at pagpapatuloy sa bahay niyo, ito ang matatanggap mong kabayaran. Doon pa lang, siguro qualified na akong pumalit kay Satanas." 

"Don't say that!" Mahina ko siyang hinampas sa braso. "Hindi na big deal sa akin 'yon, okay? Let's just forget about it, 'cause I already understand you.

Of course, you did it on purpose --- and that is to save our friendship." I grinned at her, but the difference from before is that my tears stopped from falling down. "Thank you for doing that, Delancy. Now I've realized how important our friendship is to you."

"Family ko na kayo, e. Syempre naman, importante kayong dalawa sa akin. Hindi ko kayang i-give-up ang kahit sino sa inyo." Kabaliktaran sa akin, Delancy sobbed her hell out. 

Napangiti na lamang ako before I hugged her so tight. Kahit papaano ay nabawasan ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko because of having this heart-melting conversation with her.

"How was she?" I rapidly asked nang makitang may isang doktor ang lumabas sa ICU.

"Good thing, hindi ganoon kalalim ang bala na tumama sa katawan niya kaya natanggal namin iyon kaagad. Natagalan lang kami sa loob dahil biglang bumaba ang blood pressure ng pasyente. She just had to regain her normal blood pressure before she fully recovered." 

Right after telling that, the doctor left. Mabuti na lang at malayo na sa peligro ang buhay ni Julia. I'm gonna pray for her fast recovery, bago pa makagawa ng aksyon si Trisha. 

"Magi, Delancy! Ano'ng nangyari kay Julia?" Naagaw ang atensyon namin ni Delancy nang dahil sa biglaang pagdating sa ospital ni Tita Ellen.

"You don't have to worry, Tita. Maayos na po ang lagay ni Julia," I replied.

"Ikaw na naman ba ang puno't dulo nito, Magi?" 

Hindi ako agad nakasagot sa itinanong ni Tita Ellen. Reminiscing about the events that happened in the past, I couldn't imagine that history repeats itself.

Muntik nang mamatay si Dylan dahil sa akin, and it was the same case to Julia.

Literally, I'm just a black sheep in their family. Sana hindi na lang nila ako nakilala para sana walang kamalasan na ganito ang nangyari sa kanila.

"Tita, hindi si Magi ang dahilan. Basta mahabang kwento po, e," ani Delancy. "Basta ang importante po sa ngayon, e okay na si Julia. Let's just wait for her to recover."

"Good thing, walang nangyaring masama sa anak ko. Kasi kung hindi…" Tita Ellen looked at me. "I will sue you!" She proceeded to enter the ICU after telling those unbearable words.

It's fine. I completely understood where she's coming from.

"Magi, siguro intindihin mo na lang si Tita Ellen---"

"Of course, I will," sambit ko tiyaka siya tiningnan. "I always choose to understand even if it hurts, anyway. I'm kinda used to it."

"Too much drama, Margaret! Ikain na lang natin 'yan, huh?" Delancy said while chortling.

I giggled before I nodded at her. Aasa na lang ako na magiging maayos din ang lahat. Everything will fall into their proper place someday.

Can't wait for that moment to happen --- I can't wait to see myself happy again.

---

"Look at how a total mess you are," Eli said, poking at my behavior. We met at Dylan's auntie's café, accidentally. 

"Stress kasi 'yan, hijo. 'Wag mo na lang ipangalandakan, baka damdamin niya pa lalo," I heard Tita Joyce speak over the counter.

Natawa na lang ako. "Kakayanin ko naman po ito," palusot ko na lang tiyaka tiningnan si Eli. "Lower your voice, will you? Nakakahiya naman kung marinig niya pa 'yong pinag-uusapan natin!" bulong ko sa kaniya.

"What's the big deal kung malaman din niya? You're about to become part of their family, so you have to start bonding with someone like Tita Joyce."

Pabiro ko siyang hinampas sa braso. "You never fail to annoy me, don't you?"

"Thank you for the compliment, Miss Margaret." 

I just rolled my eyes at him before I sipped on the cup of ice coffee. "What brought me here is my bereavement for him.

Couple of weeks had passed since he left this place --- since he left me. Hindi ko akalain na matagal-tagal ko na rin pala siyang hindi nakikita, that's why I'm being desolated in his behavior." 

"Kasi mahal mo, e," Eli said, which made me turn my gaze to him. "Don't you dare deny your feelings towards him. Sarili mo lang ang lolokohin mo if ever you deny it, again and again."

"Pinapangunahan mo kasi ako kaagad, when in fact, I don't have any plans to deny it," I proudly said. 

"Okay," he said while giggling. "So happy for you, Magi. Finally, you figure out that Dylan was the guy who you want to settle with for the rest of your life." Nakatingin ako sa kaniya ngayon, that's why I have the freedom to witness how his lips curved to form a genuine smile. "I pray for your happiness, Magi. Even though I'm not the reason anymore."

Alam kong totoo na masaya si Eli para sa akin ngayon, pero hindi ko maiwasang isipin na sa kaloob-looban niya ay nasasaktan na siya.

Of course, it hurts. May pinagsamahan kaming dalawa, at kagaya ko, hindi ko pa rin maiwasang masaktan every time we talked about this.

"I won't wish for you to find the right person, Eli," sambit ko. "All I want you to do is that, be the right person. It is human nature that we have flaws and imperfections, but to be considered as a right person doesn't mean you have to be flawless. 

Be the right person for someone who needs the right treatment and comfort. Give genuine happiness to someone who's seeking a rainbow in the midst of a thunderstorm.

But of course, everything should be balanced. Love, care and effort you give to someone, you should give it to yourself, as well."

"Since when you've become a love guru? Epekto siguro ng pagka-miss mo kay Dylan 'yan," he chuckingly teased me. 

"Not funny." I rolled my eyes.

"Pero seryoso na, I have something to tell you," he said. "Hindi umalis si Dylan dahil sa iyo, kung iyon man ang iniisip mo."

"What else could be his reason?"

"Si Julia," he answered. "Julia told me everything; that day he said goodbye to you."

"A-Ang alin?"

"Noong araw na 'yon, inamin ni Julia kay Dylan na siya ang nakapatay sa lola mo. At sigurado akong 'yon ang dahilan ni Dylan kaya siya lumayo sa iyo. Kasi ayaw ka niyang masaktan at malugmok sa kalungkutan dahil sa nagawa ng kapatid niya sa buhay mo."

Ilang minuto rin akong hindi nakapagsalita dahil sa sinabi ni Eli.

Every word he uttered seemed surreal. 

"That's why he left?" nanghihina kong sambit. "He left me just because he doesn't want me to endure the pain, isn't it?"

Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili na maiyak. Overloaded na ang sama ng loob sa puso ko kaya tuluyan na itong nagsilabasan --- by shedding tears.

For Pete's sake, he's so unfair. Bakit palagi niya na lang iniisip 'yong kapakanan ko? Just because he doesn't want me to endure the pain, he will put his love for me at stake?

What a selfish decision!

"He just proved me right..." Tumutulo pa rin ang luha ko, but I remained my voice strong. "That in the end, promises are just words."

Mga salita lang na ang dali-daling bigkasin, pero sobrang hirap gawin. Ang dali magbitaw ng pangako, pero in the end, paaasahin ka lang sa pangako nilang napako.

"Don't hate him too soon. At least hear his explanation once he comes back.

Sa isang relasyon, hindi lang utak mo ang dapat mong buksan. Kung hindi pati ang tenga mo, so both of you could understand each other's untold story."

"I agree with you." Tita Joyce suddenly joined our company as she sat on the chair next to me. "Hindi kayo magkakaintindihang dalawa kung hindi niyo bubuksan ang tenga niyo para pakinggan ang isa't isa.

Paano mo maiintindihan ang gusto niyang ipaliwanag kung hindi mo naman hinahayaan ang sarili mo na pakinggan siya?"

Hala, na-hotseat pa tuloy ako.

"I will take note of that, Tita Joyce," nakangiti kong sambit.

"Tiyaka isa pa, I'm looking forward to your wedding with Dylan. Sa tradisyon ng mga matatanda tungkol sa kung sino ang makasalo ng bouquet of roses na ihahagis ng bride ay sila ang susunod na ikakasal… wala pang nakakasira sa tradisyon na 'yon, kaya hihintayin ko ang wedding niyo ng pamangks ko." Agad rin siyang tumayo upang i-accommodate 'yong mga kakarating lang na customers.

"Ano'ng sinasabi niya?" manghang tanong sa akin ni Eli.

"It's about her wedding day. Noong nasa reception kami at inihagis niya 'yong hawak niyang bulaklak, nasalo namin ni Dylan 'yon parehas." Kunwaring masama ang mukha ko na ikinukwento 'yon kay Eli, pero deep inside, kinikilig naman ang mga laman-loob ko.

"Why are you telling me this matter, just now? How could you---"

"Stop acting like a jealous boyfriend, will you?" 

"Na-miss ko lang naman!" tatawa-tawa niyang sagot sa akin.

Itinuon ko na lamang sa labas ng café ang paningin ko. At least before going back to hospital to check Julia's condition, my insufficient energy has now refilled.

---

Si Delancy lang ang naabutan kong nasa kwarto ni Julia na nagbabantay. Napag-alaman ko na halos kakaalis lang din ni Tita Ellen sa ospital para magbalik-trabaho. 

Mabuti na rin na hindi kami nagpang-abot ni Tita Ellen. Ayaw ko na kasing madagdagan pa ang sama ng loob niya sa akin.

"Almost one week na rin pala ang nakalipas. Still, she isn't awake." Umupo ako sa couch habang si Delancy ay nakaupo sa isang silya sa gilid ng kama. "What did her doctor say about her condition?"

"Same as before," she replied. "Hintayin lang daw natin na magising siya, 'cause her condition is perfectly fine."

"Why did it take so long for her to wake up? Nag-aalala na ako, e."

"Relax your ass, Magi. Kung maka-react ka naman, parang isang taon na ang lumipas na hindi gumigising si Julia." Nagawa niya pang tawanan at asarin ako.

"Can you blame me if I'm acting like this?" I rolled my eyes. "Nakokonsensya ko kasi ako ang puno't dulo ng lahat ng ito. The blame should be tossed at me!"

"Stop that, will you? No one's tossing the blame on you. Hindi natin ginusto ang mga nangyari." 

My gaze glued at Julia's body lying on the bed. "But you can't deny the fact that the root of these misfortunes happened in our life was none other than me." I let out a heavy sigh before I continued speaking, "Imbes na ako lang ang mag-s-suffer, dinamay ko pa kayo. I'm very sorry for that---"

"Sshh! What was our friendship for, kung hindi ka namin dadamayan sa problema mo? We are a family here, at ang problema mo ay problema rin namin.

This isn't what you called 'pangingialam ng buhay,' but we're sharing you sympathy. We face and will overcome those challenges, altogether."

I had a lot to say, but I remained my mouth shut. Ayoko nang pahabain pa ang conversation na 'to kasi anumang oras, alam kong tutulo na naman ang luha ko. I think too many dramatic scenes isn't healthy.

"Ang ingay niyong dalawa. Inabala niyo lang naman ang pag-f-feeling 'Sleeping Beauty' ko." Sabay kaming lumingon sa nagsabi no'n --- it was Julia who opened her eyes, just now.

"Naisipan mo ring gumising!" I blurted out before I rapidly ran onto her. Yayakapin ko sana siya nang mahigpit kaya lang baka matulog na naman siya ulit.

"Ang ganda siguro ng panaginip mo kaya ngayon ka lang gumising?" Delancy jokes.

"Mala-Kdrama ba 'yang panaginip mo? Ilang episodes ba? Halos isang linggo ka ring tulog, huh?"

"Teka nga! Kakagising ko lang, 'di ba? Bakit naman ganiyang binabaha n'yo ko ng mga tanong? Daig niyo pa mga news reporter!"

Sabay kaming tumawa ni Delancy at niyakap si Julia --- pero hindi namin hinigpitan. Aware naman kami na hindi pa masyadong magaling 'yong sugat na natamo niya, e.

"Niyakap mo rin ako, so iisipin kong pinatawad mo na ako." I know that sentence was for me. 

I giggled. "Nagalit ako sa iyo but it didn't last. Just like how you easily forgive me sa nagawa ko kay Dylan noon, it's our friendship that I treasured the most to completely vanquish my hatred for you."

"Totoo ba? Baka pina-plastik mo lang ako, Margaret!" nakanguso nitong sambit.

Imbes na matawa ay sumeryoso ang mukha ko. "The worst feeling in this world is to know you were used and lied to by someone you trusted.

Of course, it hurts. I've trusted the both of you, but you lied to me." Ngumiti ako bago nagpatuloy. "Above all, hatred and pain are nothing compared to the friendship we've treasured for a long time. 

Walang makakasira sa atin, unless both of you will prefer to leave me alone. Gonna curse you if that happened."

"That won't," Delancy replied.

"Kakadilat lang ng mata ko, mukhang mababasbasan ng luha, ah?" sambit ni Julia at ngayon nga'y nagpupunas na siya ng pisngi. "Hindi ko lang mapigilan 'yong sarili ko na maiyak sa sinabi mo, Magi. 'Di ko inaasahan na kaya mo pa rin akong tanggapin sa kabila ng kasalanan na nagawa ko sa iyo.

Ginawa kong miserable ang buhay mo dahil sa kagagawan ko, at maniwala ka sa akin, nakokonsensya ako. 

Sa totoo lang, 'di ko deserve na mapatawad mo. Kulang pa siguro ang buhay ko bilang kabayaran sa ginawa ko. Tinanggalan lang naman kita ng kaisa-isang tao na nagsilbing nanay at tatay mo since you are a child. I don't deserve your forgiveness even if I locked myself in prison." Tuluyan na ngang bumaha ng luha sa kanyang mga mata. "Pero salamat, huh? Sa kabila ng lahat, itinuring mo pa rin ako bilang kaibigan."

I remained silent, instead I gave her a quick hug. That moment when I saw Julia slowly closing her eyes, 'yong galit na nararamdaman ko ay unti-unting nawala.

Realization hits me at that moment, wherein I fully understand where she's coming from. 

It was not really her intention to kill my grandmother, but Trisha used her innocent body to drive her crazy. Kung may dapat man na managot sa lahat ng ito, it was not Julia; but it should be Trisha.

"Sumosobra na ang kasamaan ni Trisha kaya wawakasan ko na 'yon," may diin na sambit ko. "What I want you to do is to cooperate with me and stand as a witness."

"Gagawin ko talaga 'yon. Dapat lang sa demonyitang 'yon na makulong! Napakasama niya!"

"Easy ka lang," Delancy said. "Magpahinga ka muna bago natin gawin ang biggest comeback nating tatlo."

"Indeed," I second the motion. "Hindi ko ma-imagine 'yong reaction ni Trisha kung sakaling makita niya na 'yong akala niyang nasira ang friendship nating tatlo ay bigla na lang bubulaga sa kanya."

---

Pain isn't just a word about how we hurt, physically or emotionally. For which I believe, pain or experience being hurt molded us to be a strong person. Pain is a part of growing up. It is how we learn from the mistakes we've made. 

In my personal point of view, I'm holding pain or my emotional breakdown as flimsy. Well, I just learned that based on the circumstances I've faced lately. There's something you do not have to hold heavier.

As you hold something tighter, it will be hard for you to let it go.

Kaya mainam nang 'wag masyadong yakapin ang sakit, para maging madali na lang din para sa iyo na pakawalan ito.

Same case sa pag-ibig, 'wag mahalin ang isang tao na hindi ka pa hundred percent sure na siya ang taong gusto mong makasama sa buong buhay mo. Unable to do so, mahihirapan kang makalimutan siya.

"Everything are settled," bulong ko, sapat na upang marinig ng taong nasa likod ng earpiece ang sinabi ko.

Ngayon ang premiere night ng series ni Eli together with Trisha. As what I'm expecting, maraming tao rito sa venue. Nagkalat din ang mga reporters mula sa iba't ibang news station para i-cover ang most awaited series ng taon.

Ang pinakamalaking proyekto para kay Trisha na ngayong gabi ay sisirain ko.

"She might prepare herself for my biggest explosion," I mumbled.

Nasa studio room ngayon si Warren at Israel upang sila ang mag-play ng video na nakuha ni Eli sa phone ni Trisha. Bahala na kung ano'ng diskarte ang gagawin no'ng dalawa para maialis sa eksena panandalian 'yong mga taong nasa studio room ngayon.

Si Alec at Harris naman ay magkasama ngayon sa office ni Harris dahil mayroon silang ta-trabahuhin. They are going to publish a news update related sa video na i-p-play mamaya. Hindi lang 'yon, pati ang statement ni Julia ay naka-include rin sa news na 'yon which is related naman sa case ng lola ko.

Right after everyone watched the video, I will give Alec and Harris a call --- and that's their cue to publish it on different social media platforms.

"Good evening everyone! Thank you for attending this event. This means so much to us and we really appreciate all of your support in our upcoming series that will be telecast on Monday!" si Trisha ang nagsasalita sa gitna. Para siyang linta na nakakapit sa braso ni Eli.

Nagtagpo ang tingin namin ni Eli. Tingin lamang 'yon but because I know him so well, his gaze means he's wishing me luck.

Actually, wala naman akong gagawin kung hindi ang panoorin kung paano gumuho ang mundo ni Trisha.

"To give you a brief summary of the series, take a look at the teaser," Eli said, at sabay-sabay kaming tumingin sa screen.

Imbes na teaser ng series ang mapanood, 'yong video ang lumitaw sa screen. 'Yong video na f-in-ilm ni Mama bago kuhanin ng mama ni Trisha ang buhay niya.

"Hindi ba't ginawa ko naman na ang gusto mo? Lumayo na ako sa pamilya niyo pero bakit pilit ka pa ring nakikipagkita sa akin? Ano ba talaga ang gusto mo, Sandra?"

Lumapit 'yong Sandra kay Mama. "Simple lang naman ang gusto kong mangyari, Melanie. Gusto kong mawala ka na sa landas namin nang tuluyan!" Walang ano-ano'y sinugod no'ng Sandra ang mama ko habang may hawak na patalim.

Kaniya itong sinaksak sa may bandang tiyan at paulit-ulit niya itong ginawa at sinaksak sa iba't ibang parte ng katawan.

Napatakip ako sa bibig nang tuluyan kong mapanood ang video.

Batid ko namang nagkagulo ang mga tao ngayon, at ang mga reporters ay nagsimulang magsilapit sa kinaroroonan nina Trisha kanina. Siguro biglang napatakbo sa backstage ang demonyita dahil sa napanood.

"You deserved that!" mariing bulong ko sa sarili tiyaka marahas na pinunasan ang pisngi.

Agad kong dinukot mula sa bulsa ang phone ko upang tawagan sina Alec. "Do it, now."

Ilang minuto akong naghintay sa harap ng phone ko bago ko nakita ang post na kaka-publish lang ni Alec sa twitter, instagram, facebook, at sa iba't ibang social media platforms.

Burgos Family's involvement in a crime: Does history repeat itself?

Years ago, an incident happened. A simple person who only wished to be a good mother to her newly born daughter has been murdered. The reason of assassination is still a big question mark, but the person behind the crime is clearly revealed.

Beloved mother of a famous star of SG Network, Trisha Burgos, was the killer. Who would've thought that a mother of an influential person is a murderer?

As they say, history repeats itself. Few months ago, an innocent old lady was killed. Surprisingly, she was also related to the woman who was killed by Trisha's mother.

What's more shocking is that the assassination from the old lady were all planned by the fruit of the mother's branch. 

"Kung kailangan kong humarap sa korte ay gagawin ko," Julia Villarosa's statement. She revealed herself as the killer of the old lady. But according to her, someone's driving her to do that --- pointing to Trisha Burgos. 

"Plano ni Trisha ang lahat. Kinontrol niya ang pagkatao ko upang magamit niya ako para patayin ang isang tao na mahalaga sa kaibigan ko," Villarosa added.

Furthermore, investigations on Trisha Burgos' place have been started.

In order to have peace and order in the showbiz industry, an artist should be a role model --- not the other way around. Monsters and crocodiles will just bring toxicity to the industry, and that should be prevented.

"Grabe naman ang balita na 'to! Wala sa itsura ni Trisha na papatay siya ng tao!" 

"Oo nga, nakakahiya! Like mother, like daughter talaga. Mga killer!"

"Big news 'to na kailangan nating i-cover. Hanapin na natin si Miss Trisha para ma-interview." 

A smirk formed in my lips. "This is just the beginning, Trisha. As I promised, I will make you taste your own medicine."