Siguro pang-anim na bote ng soju na ang nilalagok ko ngayon. I'm not sure basta tungga lang ako ng tungga hanggang sa mabura ng matapang na asido ng soju ang kirot na nararamdaman ng puso ko.

Nakarating ako sa unit ko ng lugmok. Plano ko pa sanang katukin si Dylan sa unit niya pero napag-alaman kong umalis na pala siya roon. Mas lalo akong nasaktan nang malaman kong umalis na siya. 

I want to talk to him just to beg him for an explanation. Ang gulo lang kasi. Why did he say that all of a sudden? Bakit bigla na lang siyang nagbago? 

'Why did he plead with me to forget him?'

Ngayon niya pa 'yon sasabihin kung kailan sobrang hirap na para sa akin na kalimutan siya?! He was the one who saved me from experiencing mournfulness, and that's the cue why he became an important person to me.

I find solace in his behavior. At times that series of unfortunate events had happened in my life, he's the only person who I could run to. He's always by my side to comfort my melancholic heart. 

But now, throwing those unbearable words to me were like tons of blades that slowly scratched the edge of my skin.

'Without him knowing, sobra niya akong nasaktan.'

Nang maubos ko na nang tuluyan ang bote ng soju na kasalukuyang hawak ko, ipinukpok ko 'yon sa table. Pinulot ko ang basag na bote, tiyaka pinagmasdan.

I think this is the best decision I'm going to make so far --- and that is to end my life.

Pagod na akong masaktan. Pagod na ko sa mga challenges na ibinabato sa akin ng tadhana. From growing up without my parents by my side, tapos namatay pa 'yong lola ko… sinundan pa na isa sa mga kaibigan ko ang pumatay sa kanya.

I experienced a lot of heartbreaks... because of Eli and now, because of Dylan.

Gusto kong wakasan na lahat ng problema ko para naman sumaya na ako ulit. Ayoko nang mabuhay kung puro problema lang din naman ang mararanasan ko.

'What's the sense? Nabuhay lang ba ako para mamroblema?'

Agad kong nabitawan ang kapirasong pamantingin mula sa binasag kong bote. Napalingon ako sa pintuan ng unit ko nang may mag-doorbell. 

Umaasa akong si Dylan 'yon ngunit si Delancy ang nakita ko. Binuksan ko ang pinto at nanghihinang lumagpak ang katawan ko sa kanya.

"Ang sakit," humahagulgol kong sambit. "Napakadaya niya, sabi niya 'di niya ako iiwan, e. Umasa naman ako sa mga sinabi niya kasi akala ko marunong siyang tumupad sa pangako." 

Humiwalay siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin at hinila ako paupo sa sofa. Hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili ko na maiyak, although kanina pa ako nag-aaksaya rito ng tubig sa katawan.

"A-Alam mo 'yong masakit?" I stammered. "He turned out to be someone he said he will never be. Nangako siya sa akin na hindi niya ako iiwan, but here he is, he pleaded me to forget him... and then he left."

She held my hand. "In these times, limit yourself to expect too much, because you'll just end up being disappointed. 

Hindi natin hawak ang desisyon ng isang tao kung hanggang kailan natin sila makakasama, so the best thing you should do is to prepare yourself that one of these days, your favorite person will leave you.

Oo, masakit. But it was all part of life, Magi. People come and go, and we have to accept it. Let them go. Set him free, Magi."

Napayuko ako. Dylan also told me that, before. He edified me to learn to accept that there are people who meant to leave me, but also there are people who will come into my life and choose to be by my side.

'And I thought it was him… who came into my life and chose to be by my side.'

Too much expectations are really meant to be broken.

"Hindi ganoon kadali," sambit ko. Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa balikat ni Delancy. "Compared to Eli, I am more attached to Dylan. Why not? He's my childhood enthusiast right before I met Eli. We've made such exquisite memories together, na nadagdagan ngayon.

Dylan made me realize something important in life. He taught me to love myself and value how inestimable I am. He taught me that I can be pretty like me, and I don't have to be pretty like her. 

Yeah, I overcame comparing myself to others because he made me realize that above all, I am me. And I should love myself, not compare myself with others." Lumayo ako sa kanya at humarap. "Because of him, I learned to love and value myself. Sa kanya ko lang naramdaman na mahalaga ako, na maganda ako just the way I am. 

So, please, can you tell me what should I do to forget him? How could I? How could I forget someone whom I wished to spend my whole life with?"

"Hindi ko hinihiling na kalimutan mo na si Dylan nang tuluyan, Magi. Sa iyo na rin lang nanggaling, love yourself first. Don't overthink too much because that will just give you depression. Take care of your mental health and stop stressing yourself.

You have to come up with a realization, Magi. If no one got you, you got yourself. Be that someone for yourself because you deserve all the love that no one can give."

Akala ko graduate na ko sa pagiging marupok, pero mukhang hindi pa pala. Maybe I overcome comparing myself to others, but being fragile is still in my system.

Umaasa ako na magkikita pa kami ulit ni Dylan at makakapag-usap nang maayos.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"Nakausap ko si Julia kanina at nalaman kong nasa probinsya raw nila ngayon si Dylan. Sa Isabela... and he needs to unwind."

"How could he do that? Para lang layuan ako, pupunta siya ng Isabela? How about our final exams?"

"According to Julia, i-t-take daw ni Dylan 'yon as online exams."

Bumagsak ang balikat ko. "This is so strange, Delancy. Nang dahil ba sa pag-iimbestiga ko sa kaso ng lola ko, that's why Dylan chose to stay away from me?"

"Unless he's guilty."

"No way!" sagot ko. "Walang sapat na ebidensya ang magtuturo na si Dylan ang may gawa. At isa pa, it was Eli whom I suspect now."

"If I were you, 'wag mo na munang isipin 'yon. You should've rest at ipahinga mo 'yang mata mo sa kakaiyak. Matulog ka na, huh? Ako na ang magliligpit nito."

Marahas kong pinunasan ang kaninang basa kong pisngi. I roamed around my gaze at my unit --- and it was really a total mess. 

"No need, ipapaayos ko na lang 'yan sa staff bukas. You should go home, as wel," I insist.

"Sshhh, just go to your bed. Let me handle this, huh?" At itinulak na ko ni Delancy papasok sa kwarto ko.

Walang ano-ano'y nanghihinang bumagsak ang katawang lupa ko sa malambot na kama. Suddenly, a smile planted on my bare face. 

I'm just so glad that Delancy was too far from before. From being a nobody, a quiet person and having her own world while doing some artworks, now she's turned out to be a talkative person, a one call away buddy and a person who I run to when facing a greatest dilemma.

She made it --- she made a character development which made me proud of her. The reason behind that was, obviously, it's Warren.

How I wish I could be able to have character development, as well. I want to get rid of this character… of being fragile. 

---

"Ang na-receive ko lang na chat sa kaniya ay 'yong nagpapaalam na siya. Pupunta na nga raw siyang Isabela para daw makapag-isip-isip." Nilakasan ko ang loob ko at nilapitan ko si Israel during our vacant time.

How much I tried to stop myself para hanapin si Dylan, hindi ko talaga magawa. Isa sa malapit niyang kaibigan ay si Israel kaya umaasa ako na sinabi niya rito ang dahilan kung bakit siya umalis, but I ended up being disappointed.

"Nag-away ba kayo?" I heard him ask.

I shook my head. "Before he bids his goodbye to me, we're okay. That's why I was astounded when he confronted me yesterday... Just to say those unbearable words." I pursed my lips and lifted my face up. As much as possible, I don't want to cry.

"Babalik din 'yon, Magi." He tapped my shoulder, that's why I looked at him. "Even before mag-transfer si Dylan dito, ikaw ang lagi niyang ikinukwento sa akin. 

Sa akin lang niya ikinukwento ang tungkol sa iyo kasi that time, alam niya at nirerespeto niya ang tungkol sa relasyon mo kay Eli. He was just pretending he didn't know, but all along, he's aware that the woman he loved was committed to someone else, already."

My world has suddenly stopped for a while. Matagal niya na palang alam pero nagpanggap lang siyang hindi niya alam para itago niya ang pagkatao niya sa akin noon? I can't imagine the pain he was suffering that time, seeing me on someone's arm. What's worse is that, it's his friend whom I committed to.

"Don't worry, Magi. Masyado kang mahal ni Dylan para iwanan ka na lang niya sa ere. Baka may importante siyang dahilan kaya siya nagpakalayo-layo muna."

"But what's his reason? I can't think of any eligible reason para umalis na lang siya ng gano'n," I said.

"It's only him that could answer your question," he replied. "Ang importante sa ngayon, 'wag mong i-stress-in ang sarili mo." He smiled at me. "Stop being okay with everything, Magi. You deserved to be treated right. And I know, the only person who will treat you right is him.

Prolong your patience to him, magiging maayos din ang lahat. Sa ngayon, focus ka lang sa goal mo, at sa investigation na ginagawa mo para mahuli kung sino ang pumatay sa lola mo." He tapped my shoulder before he left.

I just smiled at him, melancholy. Nanatili lamang ako sa kinauupuan ko habang pinapanood ang mga varsity players na nag-s-shoot ng bola sa ring, pero hindi naman na-s-shoot. 

Bigla ko tuloy naalala noong araw na nandito rin ako at pinipintasan ang mga players na magaling lang mag-dribble pero tanga mag-shoot. Dylan just came by and we did have a conversation. 

Sa bawat sulok yata ng campus ay may memories ako about him. Nakakalungkot lang kasi 'yong memories na lang na 'yon ang mababalikan ko. 

Indeed, one of the saddest things is when two people already get to know each other. Their favorite places, secrets, fears, hobbies --- literally everything. After a couple of days, weeks, months or years, then they go back to being strangers.

That's what he wishes me to do --- to treat him like a stranger. He wants me to ignore him, and he'll do the same.

Ang sakit lang na sa kanya ko pa 'yon maririnig. Mga salitang hindi ko inaasahan na sasabihin niya sa akin, but he already uttered.

'This isn't new, Magi. You've been separated way back your childhood days, but then you reconnected with him again. Who knows? Maybe history repeats itself.'

---

Right after our classes, Julia immediately bids goodbye to us dahil may importante pa raw siyang kailangan puntahan. I also tried to talk to her about Dylan, but she keeps refraining me to talk about him. 

'Hindi ko alam kung weird lang ba siya or magkaaway sila ng kapatid niya.'

Whatever the reasons she has, I don't even care.

In the midst of walking outside the campus, my phone suddenly vibrated. Binagalan ko ang lakad ko upang mauna sina Delancy sa akin na maglakad, tiyaka ko patagong binasa ang text message.

You've wasted three fucking days, Magi. Yet you still can't figure out who's the culprit? I'm so disappointed in you. 

Well then, be patient with me because one of these days, I'll make you astonished as I present to you the dead body of the person who killed your grandmother.

Nanginginig ang kamay, mabilis kong isinilid sa loob ng bag ko ang phone. Nanatili lamang akong nakatayo, malamang dahil sa gulat. Hindi ko magawang sabihin kay Trisha na si Eli ang killer, because I'm still uncertain. 

The other pair of gloves was at Eli's place, but the wound wasn't in his right palm. Hindi enough ang claim ko to prove it, that's why hindi ako nakikipag-usap kay Trisha.

And this is the consequence of my action... The thing that I'm afraid the most was about to happen.

I gulped. "No, I won't let that happen. I will protect my friends at all costs."

"Magi, tara na!" Napalingon ako kay Warren nang tawagin niya ako.

"Coming!" I replied tiyaka tumakbo.

Hindi ko namalayan na napatagal pala masyado ang pagtambay ko roon at nakalayo na pala ang mga kasama ko sa akin.

"Ingat, kitakits na lang bukas, huh?" paalam ni Israel.

"Punta ka sa bahay niyo bukas, Magi! Doon tayo mag-aayos nina Julia bukas!" sambit naman ni Delancy.

Tinanguan ko na lang siya bago ako sumakay sa taxi na kakapara ko lang. Related sa sinasabi nila, promenade night namin bukas. Exclusively sa lahat ng year level, from first year to fifth year. Kakatapos lang kasi ng final exams namin ngayon, so we deserve to enjoy by having a ball.

Mas masaya siguro kung kasama si Dylan. It would be a remarkable memory for us sana if he didn't migrate to another province. Kung tungkol naman sa kaso ng lola ko ang dahilan ng pag-alis niya, I'm not tossing the blame on him. I don't even believe that he's the culprit because I'm lacking evidence to prove that it was him.

He shouldn't stay away from me, as I believe he did nothing wrong.

"Dito na lang po," sabi ko roon sa driver. I paid him a thousand bills before getting outside of the taxi.

Instead of going home, I went to a law firm because I have an appointment with our family lawyer now.

Well, it's about the fingerprints that Eli and Dylan have matched with the fingerprint na nakuha sa towel. Sinabi kasi ng witness na may isang lalaki itong nakita na pinupunasan ang dugo sa sahig gamit ang towel na 'yon.

"Confirmed na kung kanino ang fingerprint na 'yon?" I asked.

"As we tested it once again, sa isang tao na lang nag-match ang fingerprint na nakuha namin sa towel. Jumping into conclusion, may nanabotahe ng result ng fingerprints para palabasin na dalawang tao ang nag-match."

Obviously, it's Trisha. Ginawa niya 'yon para malito ako at matagalan ako sa paghahanap doon sa killer.

"Who is it?"

"Eli," he replied. "It was him who matched the fingerprint on the towel."

"W-What?" 

Tuluyan ng gumuho ang mundo ko nang marinig ang sinabi ng lawyer. Ngayon ko mas napagdurugtong ang lahat, formulating a conclusion that it was really Eli who's behind the assassination. 

"Just to make sure na siya nga ang killer ng lola mo, you have to find this out."

"Ang alin?"

"Pasensya na kung may ikinabit akong device sa phone mo noong nakaraan na magkausap tayo. Remember the time that I borrowed your phone?"

I recalled everything. 

Weekend ngayon kung kaya't wala kaming pasok. I'm expecting that this day would be my free time yet I failed. The lawyer who I talked to last time just came by my unit to discuss something.

"Ano'ng update?" I hurriedly asked.

"We're still working on it, Magi. Pumunta lang ako rito para sana hanapin mo 'yong isang bagay na pag-aari ng lola mo. We just need that for the investigation."

"Okay," sagot ko.

"Wait," pagpigil nito. "Also, allow me to borrow your phone for the meantime."

I handed him my phone before I entered my room to search for something na pagmamay-ari ni Lola.

"What about that?" Nang maalala ko, I asked him. 

"Nagkabit ako ng device sa phone mo just to monitor you. I could watch wherever you are and hear those conversations you are engaging in.

Unexpectedly, I heard the conversation you had with Trisha. Her confession about her involvement in your grandmother's death." 

I nodded. "I was about to tell that,"

"No need, kasi nalaman ko na," he said. "But the thing is, I investigated Miss Trisha Burgos last time. And this is what I found out." 

Ipinakita niya ang isang papel na may malabong screenshot ng conversation at call history.

"Na-trace namin ang number na gamit ni Miss Trisha, as well as the landline upang tawagan 'yong tao na kasabwat niya," he explained. "Malamang na-delete na ng taong 'yon ang convo nila pati 'yong call history, but not the number that person used. 

Ito 'yong number, at alamin mo kung sino ang nagmamay-ari niyan."

09652341896

Tumango ako bago nilisan ang office niya. Kung sakaling si Eli man ang nagmamay-ari ng number na 'to, siguro ito na 'yong sign para ipakulong siya.

Mahirap man para sa kalooban ko pero gagawin ko. Nasimulan ko na, at sisiguraduhin kong tatapusin ko 'to.

Isasara ko ang kaso ng lola ko, if and only if, I could be able to give justice on her death.

Nabigla ako nang may biglang bumatak ng kamay ko nang malakas. Muntik nang makipag-untugan ang pwet ko sa kalsada ngunit buti na lang, hindi niya binitawan ang kamay ko.

"Iwasan mo mag-isip nang malalim. Muntik ka nang masagasaan nang hindi mo nalalaman." Using his baritone voice, he uttered those words before walking away.

Balot na balot siya na muntikan ko nang mapagkamalan na magnanakaw siya. Naka-itim na shirt, pants, pati na rin ng leather jacket at sapatos. Pati ang shades, cap, pati mask na suot niya ay itim rin.

Luh? Sa burol siguro ang punta no'n?

---

Napakagarbo ng setup sa gymnasium, idagdag pa na kinabitan pa ito ng mga magagandang lights. Kahit saang sulok ng gym ay pwedeng gawin na selfie spot, mapaghahalataan na pinaghandaan talaga ito ng SC.

'Yong mga pagkain nga lang ang hindi bongga kasi mukhang tinipid nila 'yong 1k kada tao na ibinayad namin para sa foods. Wala namang bago e, gano'n talaga 'pag sa ganitong mga events. Hindi papayag ang mga facilitators kung wala silang kickback.

"Mamamatay yata ko sa ganda niyong tatlo. Mukha talagang hindi niyo pinaghandaan ito, 'no?" lagpuri ni Israel na may halong pang-aasar.

"Nope, we just spend five hours para lang makapag-ayos. Yes, 'di kami prepared," Pagbibiro ko.

Legit 'yong five hours na pag-aayos namin dahil gusto kasi ng dalawa na bongga ang entrance namin dito. Hindi lang basta mema suot, kung 'di bobonggahan talaga since once in a lifetime lang na magpa-prom ang campus.

If I'm not mistaken, last na namin na promenade night 'to kasi every other year lang may paganito, e. Since fourth year na kami next year, ibig sabihin walang promenade. Magkakaroon lang ulit kung kailan graduate na kami.

'Ang saya, Sisa.'

Let me give you a quick description of how we look. For Delancy, mild makeup contours her face, partnered with a mild shade of a red velvet lipstick. Her outfit was an elegant tea-length off-the-shoulder pleated Satin ball in the color of light blue. 

However, Julia's outlook is more fiercer than Delancy. Starting from her makeup, it was too strong which conformed to the way she looks. Moreover, she wore a dark theme makeup look, paired with a dark brown shade of matte lipstick. Her outfit was a sexy mermaid cowl neck spaghetti strap white Satin. She just likes that kind of outfit because of having the confidence of showing how flawless her body is.

While I was just wearing simple and light makeup, paired with a nude shade of matte lipstick. I preferred wearing light makeup on my face 'cause I believe a strong shade of makeup doesn't fit a gentle face I have, as well as my pleasing personality. Jumping onto the outfit I wore, it's a slightly poofy blue off-the-shoulder, with beautiful neckline decorations, long sleeves, a sparkling jeweled belt around the waist, and a singular slit up the side.

"Woah, they were performing with Trisha?" amazed na tanong ni Delancy.

Nakatuon lang ang atensyon ko sa may stage kung saan naroon ang DWEIYAH --- but without Dylan. On the absence of Dylan, si Trisha ang nagsilbi nilang vocalist.

played the song... (hindi ko ma-insert 'yong lyrics nang maayos. baliw si Wattpad.)

Dahil siguro nalibang ako sa ganda ng performance nila, idagdag pa ang ingay sa loob ng gymnasium ay hindi ko napansin na sina Julia at Delancy ay nasa harap at nakikigulo roon. 

After kasi ng pagkanta, hindi ko expected na sina Eli ay nagtanggal ng mga coats nila at ibinabalibag sa mga kababaihan na nag-aabang na sumalo. Nakalimutan na nila halos na dress ang suot nila, hay nako.

"Wait, nasaan ang phone ko?" kinakabahan kong sambit. Hinanap ko sa pouch ko ngunit hindi ko 'yon nakita roon.

I'm starting to get nervous kasi sobrang halaga sa akin no'n, e. Di bale na 'yong phone ang mawala, 'wag lang 'yong memory card. Ando'n kasi 'yong mga stolen pics ko kay Dylan noon. Nakakapanghinayang naman kung mawawala.

"Sorry," paumanhin ko when, suddenly, I bumped into someone.

"Use this and make a quick call to find your phone," he said right after he handed me a phone. Pagkatapos no'n, umalis na siya.

He was the same guy who just saved me yesterday. That guy in black.

I shook my head-off and just dialed my phone number on the phone that he gave to me. Isasauli ko na lang siguro the next time I bumped into him again.

Nakakailang ring pa lang ay kaagad kong narinig ang ringtone ng phone ko. Sinilip ko ito sa ilalim ng mesa, and there I find it.

What shocks me the most is that the number who's calling my phone is the number that I was about to seek.

09652341896 is calling...

I unhurriedly moved the phone downward and took a glimpse of it. Kanino ito? Gratefully, walang password ang phone, so I was able to find the answer to my question. Going to the phone's gallery, a familiar face welcomed me. 

An innocent face I couldn't expect to do such a horrifying interlude in my life.