"W-Wala!" I said as I shook my head. I don't know if I look defensive as I notice that I wiggled my head harshly.

"Ikaw ba si Dylan?" Julia replied sarcastically.

Really? Paaandarin niya talaga ngayon ang pagka-sarcastic niya?

I was about to speak nang magsalita si Dylan. "You're just hallucinating things, Julia. What's my reason para pumunta kina Magi? Of all people, bakit sa bahay nila? Do you ever think about that?"

Julia just giggled then shrugged her shoulders. "Sabi niyo, e." At nauna na itong sumakay sa kotse ni Dylan.

When our eyes met, his face moved up and down. I think he's assuring me that Julia won't be suspicious of the two of us.

I hope so.

After that scenario, I bid goodbye to Dylan as well as to Delancy before I got inside the backseat of the car. Obviously, someone has to drive me to school and back home 'cause I'm not good at driving. And I don't have any plans to take a driving lesson kasi sobrang nakakatamad 'yon.

"How's lola?" I asked Kuya Rudy as I fastened my seatbelt. "Is she doing well?"

"Wala siya sa mood ngayon. Hindi siya mapakain ng nurse niya kasi hinihintay niyang dumating ang apo niya."

I gulp. Wrong timing naman ang pagkawala ng mood ni lola ngayon. Why it has to be now?

Dylan isn't available today kasi magkasama sila ni Julia ngayon. And I know, once I called Dylan to come over our house, there's a possibility na mahuli kami ni Julia.

I've known Julia for a long time and I can say that she's good at suspecting people around her. That's why I was so nervous when she asked about Dylan kung bakit nakita niya ito na nasa bahay namin.

Until now, hindi ako mapalagay kasi alam kong naghihinala na siya. So, kung tatawagan ko pa si Dylan para puntahan lang si lola sa bahay, it's like I'm pushing ourselves to be in danger. As much as possible, I don't want anyone of them to know what's our confidential deal.

"I could handle this alone," I whispered.

Just this once, lola, please allow me to be your granddaughter. Just this very once, I want you to deem me as your family.

---

"Let me handle this, Nurse Jane. I'll feed her." As I arrive at our house, I head to lola's room to feed her up.

"Sigurado ka ba, Magi? Alam mo namang hindi ka niya nakikilala—"

"Then what? You want me to let her starve herself, while I'm here, standing in front of her room without doing anything?

I don't even care if she doesn't recognize me anymore. I don't even care if she nudges me away again. I'm used to it, so let me do what I want." I yanked her going to the side as she's blocking my way.

"Lola?" As I entered her room, my eyes immediately searched for lola. My gaze landed on the floor beside her bed, where she sat while sobbing.

I hastily ran on to her to help her sit on the bed. As I led her to a seat on her bed, I faced her. "Lola, why are you crying?" My voice almost broke.

She slowly turned her gaze at me. "Nasaan ang apo ko? Miss na miss ko na ang apo ko," that's the only sentence she mumbled before she continued crying her agony out.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. I don't want her to see me crying in her front once again. In these times, I have to be strong for my lola.

If this is the punishment that God was given to me, then I'll take this wholeheartedly. If in return, I could be able to live with my lola for a longer time, then I wished to be punished over and over again.

"Lola, Dylan isn't here, e. May mahalaga po kasi siyang gagawin kaya hindi raw siya makakadalaw sa inyo ngayon. He promised me that he will visit you right after his duties," I said firmly. "While he isn't here, let me take care of you. Feed yourself so that once you meet him again, you look healthy." I smiled as I told her that.

Her weeping face settled down. She suddenly smiled at me while slowly nodding her head. Thankfully, by using those words, I was able to calm her down.

She let me fed her up which makes me so happy. It's been too long since this last happened. At 'yon pa 'yong mga panahong nakikilala pa niya ako. Right at this moment, hindi ko maiwasang maalala at ma-miss 'yon.

That was the most precious moment that is now too good to be true. I don't know if that could be able to happen once again — I'm still hoping. But for now, I am satisfied with this situation. Lola doesn't even remember me, but at least hinahayaan niya kong gawin sa kanya ang mga bagay na ginagawa ko sa kanya noon.

We had a few more minutes to talk before she told me that she was drowsy. I led her to lay on her bed and waited for a few minutes before she finally fell asleep.

"Sleep well, lola." I kissed her forehead before leaving her room.

I haven't eaten dinner yet 'cause I went straight to my room. I lay on my bed as I face the wall. I don't know, but I can't help to draw a smile on my lips. I almost tore my face to the extent of my smile, literally.

Well, who wouldn't be happy after what happened, right? For the first time since my lola got diagnosed to have Alzheimer's disease, she didn't toss me away from her. She let me do the things I used to do to her. That's good enough for me to have the holiest night to sleep.

---

While on my way to our classroom, someone held my hand. He pulled me to the back of the library and when he stopped, that's when I knew who he was.

"Alec? What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You don't want to see me?" Sadness traces from his face. This is the humorous side of him that only his friends know.

"When I asked you that question, does it mean I don't want to see you?" I answered his question with another question. "Long time no see, ah? Hindi ka yata busy sa work ngayon?"

"I dropped this by, so I'm here." He showed me some documents that I didn't bother to find out.

"Then, why did you drag me here?"

"We haven't seen each other for a long time. Isn't that reasonable to have a little conversation with you privately?"

I chuckled. "You wouldn't talk to me privately unless it's important. Now tell me, what's that 'something' that I should've known?"

From his smiling face, it turns back to his serious look. "I went to see you because of Eli. Whether this isn't my story to tell, but I think, kaysa sa iba mo pa malaman, e mabuting sa akin na lang."

I felt uneasy when he mentioned Eli's name. Is this something serious?

"Spill the tea."

"He's having a movie project with his ex-girlfriend — Trisha."

Right now, I don't know if I'll be happy or not. I admit I didn't like what I found out about. Of all people, why does it have to be his ex? It's obvious that I'm getting worried right now, and so many what if's are now running through my mind.

Ito na nga ba 'yong ikinakatakot ko na mangyari --- na may babaeng ma-link sa kaniya. To my surprise, it was his ex. Bakit nga ba hindi sumagi sa isip ko na once I let him entered the industry, there's a huge possibility na makatrabaho niya ang ex girlfriend niya.

Hindi ko pa nakikita si Trisha --- although naturingan siyang artista tapos hindi ko siya kilala since during the plethora of Trisha's career, I'm not into television and not very interested in show business... not until Eli made his entrance --- but according to what Eli have told me about her, mukhang wala akong panama sa ganda niya. Artista, talented at maganda... Ano'ng panama ko sa gano'ng klaseng babae?

"What's the matter? They're doing it for business, so I don't have any reason to be worried, am I?" I replied, trying my best to sound unaffected.

"Don't mock me, Magi. Your mouth could lie, but your eyes do not," he said. "Admit it or not, you felt anxious right now. Let yourself be upset because someone could be able to extort your possession.

I ain't lying — Trisha could jeopardize your relationship with Eli. Watch her act and talk to Eli immediately." After saying those words, he left.

I started sauntering back into our classroom but my mind was full of thoughts. What Alec said was true, I was affected by what he said. May threat na pwedeng magkabalikan 'yong dalawa, kasi minsan nang minahal ni Eli si Trisha.

Bago pa man maging kami ni Eli, si Trisha 'yong babaeng nagpasaya sa kaniya. Malay ko bang nakipagrelasyon lang si Eli sa akin para makalimot, 'di ba?

But despite this, I still trust Eli. After all, he is my boyfriend. I shouldn't feel like this because, in the first place, it was all about the present, not the past. Trisha is his past and he has no other reason na balikan nila ang nakaraan. Eli clears everything about Trisha --- and their relationship is already done.

That's what I'm holding on to right now, kaya umaasa ako kay Eli na hindi siya lamunin ng mga sinabi niya.

"What's with the long face, Magi?" Delancy greeted me like that as I sat on my chair.

"Masama lang naging gising ko," I answered.

"What happen? May nangyari bang hindi maganda?"

"No, I'm okay," I replied.

She nodded her head. "Unbother queen talaga 'to, oh?" Pagpuna ni Delancy kay Julia na nakaupo sa gitna naming dalawa.

"May ka-chat ako, huwag niyo kong pansinin," she said.

Kaya pala hindi maabala kasi may ka-chat. She will waste her time just talking to that stranger, when in fact, after a month or two, that person only gave her short-term happiness.

Si Julia talaga, hindi na nasanay. Wala siyang takot na masaktan kahit paulit-ulit, e.

"Good luck, sana hindi ka na niyan ipagpalit," natatawang sambit ni Delancy.

I just shook my head and just stared at my notes. Gusto ko sanang mag-review para sa quiz namin kaya lang wala namang pumapasok na kahit anong terms sa utak ko.

Until now, what I found out about Eli still bothers me. Another thing I was wondering was why he didn't tell me that Trisha was the one he could pair with the movie project he was talking about.

Why he didn't allow me to know about that? Hindi ko ba dapat malaman? O baka sinadya niya talagang hindi 'yon ipaalam sa akin.

And wait...

'Yong babaeng nakausap ko no'ng tawagan niya ko, is that Trisha's voice? I haven't met that woman even once so, I don't know what her voice sounds like.

Maybe it's Trisha, or maybe not. Ewan ko, tanging si Eli lamang ang makakasagot no'n.

---

Natapos ang tatlong subject na lutang ang utak ko. I'm not sure if I understood anything. Siguro mag-se-self-study na lang ako kung sakaling wala. Wrong timing naman kasi na nalaman ko 'to, kitang ang dami kong iniisip tapos dadagdag pa 'to.

"Okay ka lang ba talaga, Magi?" I heard Julia asked me habang nandito kami sa cafeteria at kumakain.

"Now you're worried about me? Offline na siguro 'yong ka-chat mo, 'no?" I mocked her.

She squinted at me. "Nag-aalala na nga sa 'yo 'yong tao tapos ganiyan ang isasagot mo? Ano'ng klase kang kaibigan?"

"Tao siya," Delancy replied before she drank her tea.

"Seriously, ginaganyan niyo na ko? Hindi na ba ko belong sa pekeng pagkakaibigan nating tatlo?"

"OA ka lang," sambit ni Delancy. Wala na kong naambag kundi ang tumawa.

Well, at least for now, I manage to laugh my ass out. Siguro naman deserve kong tumawa kaysa matapos ang kwento ng buhay ko na puro problema na lang ang iniisip ko.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo, Delancy!" umiirap na sambit ni Julia. "Nakasalubong ko nga pala si Alec kanina sa may hallway, hinahanap ka niya," aniya na ang tinutukoy ay ako.

I smiled hesitantly. "Yeah, I met him earlier."

"May mahalaga raw siyang sasabihin sa 'yo—"

"Wait, masamang balita siguro ang sinabi ni Alec kaya ganiyan ang mukha mo, 'no?" ani Delancy.

I was stunned. How could these two be good at speculating things?

"As I say, I have no problem—"

"Sure ka ba talagang wala?" Julia asked, as she's having a second thought to believe me.

"Of course." I faked a smile before I stood up from where I was sitting. "I have to go, may kukunin ako sa registrar," I said.

I just used that as an excuse. I just really wanted to circumvent the fearsome stares of Delancy and Julia. I felt like they had more questions to ask, so before that happened, I left immediately.

If I let them know about Eli having a movie project with her ex, baka magwala 'yong dalawang 'yon — lalo na si Julia. Ayokong madagdagan pa 'yong galit ni Julia kay Eli kaya hangga't maitatago ko sa kanila ay gagawin ko.

Although they will also know for sure once their agency announces the project, I feel it will take a long time. Basta bahala na, all I want for now is a peaceful life.

"Hey, Magi!" I was in the midst of walking nang maagaw ni Warren ang atensyon ko.

I take a glance at him and smile a little. "Hi!"

"Bakit naman ganiyan ang ngiti mo? Halatang pilit, ah?"

"Talaga?" I asked.

"May bumabagabag ba sa 'yo? Halata kasing may problema ka kaya nilapitan kita."

I shook my head. "Wala 'to. Stress lang siguro ako sa mga major subjects ko."

"Hindi ko naman in-e-expect na magsasabi ka ng totoo sa akin. Sino ba namang malungkot na aamin na malungkot talaga sila, 'di ba? Unless mapilit mo sila na magsabi." Warren suddenly chortle. He gets my attention after saying those words. 

"Palagi mong tatandaan na hindi ka nag-iisa. Huwag mong harapin nang mag-isa 'yang problema mo kung pwede mo namang i-share sa amin. Maliban na lang kung hindi mo kami pinagkakatiwalaan." He chuckled once again. 

"Basta kapag kailangan mo ng kausap, nandito lang kami. Handa kaming pakinggan ka sa oras na pakiramdam mo ay wala nang sinuman na handang makinig sa 'yo."

He made me emotional, literally. But I kept my composure dahil ayokong mag-alala pa siya sa akin.

"Don't worry, you're the first one I will run to when I'm having a problem." I smiled genuinely but he chuckled at me as an answer.

He pats my head. "Hindi ko hinihiling na magkaroon ka ng problema. Baka kasi 'yon ang isipin mo, mayari pa ko kay Eli."

When he spoke of his name, my smile suddenly vanished on my lips. Whenever I hear his name, negative thoughts come back to my mind. And I hate this.

"You okay?" mukhang napansin 'yon ni Warren kaya nagsalita ito.

"I'm okay. I gotta go!" that's the last word I uttered before I turned my back on him.

Now, where am I gonna go? Well then, I think I should let my feet bring me somewhere else... far from this place.

---

I decided to go somewhere since we don't have any classes for today. Hindi na ko nakapagpaalam kina Julia at Delancy dahil tinamad na kong balikan sila sa cafeteria. Rather I'd chat them na lang to inform them that I've already left the campus.

Well, I just walked out of the campus until I got to this place, which I don't even know what kind of place it is but it's not that far from our campus. Since wala pa naman ang sundo ko, I've taken a walk for a little bit.

There's nothing so special about this place kaya na-boring-an lang ako. I only want to breathe some fresh air pero sumobra yata 'yong hangin na ibinigay ni Lord sa akin.

Dahil tinatamad pa kong bumalik, naupo muna ko sa isang nakatumbang puno sa gilid upang makapagpahinga.

I can't deny the fact that this place is screaming relaxation. The surroundings are clear and breezy. I just discovered this place and I don't have any regrets about being here.

From having the negative thoughts inside me, it was completely gone when I got to this place. For just a moment, this place empties all of the problems running in my mind.

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?" someone spoked behind me at napag-alaman kong si Dylan 'yon nang lingunin ko siya.

"You know how to ride a bicycle?" Pagpansin ko dahil nakita kong nakasakay siya sa bisikleta.

"Stop asking questions that have an obvious answer," aniya. "Why are you here?"

"Restricted area ba 'to para hindi ko puntahan?" I mocked him.

"Your answer doesn't make any sense."

I giggled. "Naglalakad-lakad ako kanina, and then nahanap ko 'to. Hindi ko alam kung bakit dito ako dinala ng mga paa ko."

"You shouldn't be here. Let's go!" pagyaya niya sa akin.

"Bawal ba rito?"

"Why do you think no one's here in this place?"

"Huh?" naguguluhan kong tanong.

He motioned me to get closer to him. Ako naman itong si tanga na lumapit sa kanya at pinakinggan ang ibubulong niya.

"Sementeryo ang lugar na 'to—"

"Are you even serious?!"

He slowly nodded his head. "Kung ayaw mong maniwala, edi maiwan ka rito."

Paaandarin na sana niya ang bisikleta nang pigilan ko siya. "Wait!" kinakabahan kong sambit. "Uhm—"

"Sakay," aniya at itinuturo ang harapan ng kanyang bisikleta. I think he's trying to command me na sumakay roon.

"Pwedeng sa likod na lang?"

"Wala kang tatayuan, nakikita mo?" Napatingin ako sa likod ng kaniyang bike at nakita kong wala ngang pwedeng tuntungan, kaya no choice talaga 'ko kung hindi ang umangkas sa kaniya sa harap.

I rode there 'cause I also wouldn't bet on walking again as my foot would hurt so much to walk. I will just put up with this situation even though I am a little uncomfortable in my current position.

As he pounded, I could feel his breath hitting my hair. I'm not used to him being so close to me, it's like I'm going to have a heart attack with my heart beating so fast.

I felt these feelings numerous times before, which made me confused.

Why on Earth should I feel like this when I'm with him? Who the hell is he to make me quiver like this?

"Wala pa rin ba 'yong sundo mo?" he asked nang makababa ako sa bike niya. I look around para hanapin ang sundo ko, but he isn't here. Na-traffic siguro 'yon.

"I'll just wait for him here. Mauna ka na," I said.

He just nodded his head and was about to walk away from me nang may mapansin ako. "Dylan, wait!" I stopped him.

"Bakit?"

Lumapit ako sa kaniya and I suddenly held his hand. The bracelet he was wearing... It seems so familiar to me. I'm not sure where I saw that? But surely, it's familiar.

I haven't noticed that bracelet no'ng nakaangkas ako sa kaniya, 'cause my mind was preoccupied with the uneasiness I felt earlier.

"Why are you wearing that bracelet? Where did you get it?" I confusedly asked.

"Ang ganda, 'no?

It was from the girl that I first admired. Ibinigay niya 'yan sa akin to help her recognize me when the time comes na magkita kami ulit."