I used to be happy. Well, I think I was. Let's say that, at the very least, I believed I was happy. I had exactly what you're supposed to have: a happy family, a wonderful group of friends, good grades, hobbies, goals and the means to achieve them. I lived in my perfect routine, in my bubble where nothing was out of place, where everything was exactly where I wanted it to be. I was happy in the most superficial sense of the word, in the most frivolous and maybe even fake way. My happiness was nothing more than the absence of sadness, and that was enough for me.
I've always been a pretty solitary person. I realized that I was more comfortable alone than surrounded by people at certain points in the day, and that shaped the way others acted around me. They were with me but always at a certain distance, exactly the distance I wanted or thought I wanted. My life was like a massive, never-ending chess game where I played both sides, ensuring that nothing and no one got out of my control, just like I did so many times when I was a kid. To be fair, I wasn't the only one to blame for my loneliness. Most people didn't want to have a close relationship with me, probably because I've always had a personality that society would label as "bad." "Selfish, self-centered, bitch..." I got used to those words like you'd get used to shoes that hurt: at first, with a frown, until one day you realize they don't harm you anymore. I owned those labels without even realizing it, deciding that if people were going to think I was a bitch, I might as well give them a reason to.
But life isn't a chess game. It's poker—rigged and eternal. No matter how much you count the cards, no matter how well you know the odds, no matter how much you think you have it all under control, some things will always slip through your fingers. I was so naive to think I could pull all the strings around me.
I also used to believe in love, with the fervor of a worshipper believing in their god: convinced it existed despite never having experienced it. From a young age, I discovered my passion for books, especially romance novels, and every word written on those pages made my conviction stronger. I waited patiently for my moment to come, for my Mr. Darcy, my Jay Gatsby, my Romeo to arrive... believing our paths would cross and never part. How innocent. How stupid.
At some point, everything began to fall apart. I can't pinpoint the exact moment, I can't say exactly when, but I'll never forget the day I realized I'd lost control of my life long ago. I was riding a runaway horse down an unfamiliar path, the perfect bubble, the boringly normal routine, shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces. For the first time, I looked around and felt fear, real terror for what was coming.
Sometimes, I look back and wish I could return to my bubble, to my perfectly fake, superficial happiness.
•
A thin layer of sweat covers my forehead as I get out of bed and start searching for my underwear on the messy floor of the room.
"Not even gonna stay for a bit?" A slightly hoarse voice sounds behind me, making me turn to look at the huge guy still lying naked on the bed.
"For what?"
My question seems to catch him off guard, which I find a bit amusing since this isn't the first time this situation has happened. I've always known Travis is dumb as a rock, but sometimes he seems even more inept than that.
"I don't know, to talk or something."
"Talk?" I ask with a mocking smile as I get dressed. "What do you want to talk about, the weather? The national election candidates? Climate change?"
Travis rolls his eyes and sits up, the moonlight making the sweat slowly sliding down his perfect chest glisten slightly. I don't bother hiding my admiration for his body and face—probably the only good things he's got going for him. Considering our history, hiding it would be stupid.
"We've been hooking up for months, and I could almost count the words we've exchanged outside the bedroom on one hand."
"You say that like it's a bad thing."
"Well, what if I wanted to talk more with you? Get to know more about you? Is that so bad?"
My head pops out from the hoodie just as he finishes speaking, my face a mix of confusion and amusement.
"You've gotta be kidding me, right? You, Travis Huxley, the eternal heartbreaker. You've hooked up with practically every girl on campus, and they all complain about how you kick them out the second you finish. And you're the one asking if I want to talk?"
His face doesn't show any shame at what I just said, mainly because Travis is a total idiot when it comes to women and he knows it, but he does frown in frustration as he runs a hand through his bronze-colored hair.
"You're so damn exasperating, Alexa."
"Then why the hell do you want to talk with me, Huxley?" I ask with a sly smile, fully aware that I'm really pushing his buttons.
My words seem to do the trick, as Travis finally gives up, resting the back of his head against the headboard of his massive bed and running his tongue along the inside of his cheek.
"Good night, Arden."
I respond with a quick mock military salute without even glancing at him, checking the messages on my phone as I leave his huge room and head toward the front door of his massive mansion. I have a few texts from Faye, my best friend, so I decide to give her a call.
"Jesus, Alexa, you've been MIA for hours. What the hell were you doing?"
"Good evening to you too, Faye," I sigh, rolling my eyes as I get in my car and start driving back to my apartment. "I was with Travis."
I hear an exasperated sigh on the other end, and I already know exactly what she's going to say before she even starts with her usual rant.
"Him again? Alexa, I can't believe it. You've been seeing him for months despite the way he treats women. Don't you have any self-respect?"
"Wow, I didn't know you already had my marriage contract with Huxley written up. When's the ceremony? I hope you're planning my bachelorette party."
"Don't come at me with your attitude. I know it's nothing serious, but what if you end up catching feelings for him? You've seen all those girls who start chasing him and end up—"
"Are you gonna stop talking nonsense, or do I need to come to your house and shut you up myself?" I cut Faye off before she goes down her usual spiral. "I'd have to have a negative IQ to fall for someone as dumb as Travis. The only thing he's got going for him is his killer body, and I make sure to enjoy it whenever I feel like it. Travis is like ordering a pizza: I call his number, and thirty minutes later, he's at my door, hot and ready."
"That's what Ashley said, and look at her now. Word is, at the welcome party, she's planning to drag you by your hair for 'stealing her man' or whatever."
Her words make me laugh loudly as I park in front of my building and grab my stuff to head upstairs to my apartment.
"I'd love to see her try. Anyway, if she wants Travis, she can have him. I can hook up with whoever I want—just because he's easy doesn't mean I don't have other options."
"I don't know, Lex. I just don't want you to end up like them."
"I appreciate you worrying about me, Faye, but I have no feelings for Travis beyond physical attraction. A guy needs way more than a hot body to have me wrapped around his finger."
My friend lets out a light sigh on the other end as I strip down to take a quick shower, putting her on speakerphone.
"Well, anyway, as usual, Cher is throwing the welcome party this Friday. Should I swing by your place so we can change and pick up Brooke and Gigi on the way?"
"Of course. Let's see what surprises we get this year. Maybe you'll find another fake Norwegian to hook up with," I laugh as Faye groans on the other end. "Anyways, I've gotta shower, we'll talk later."
As soon as I hit the red button, I start thinking about the welcome party. This is our third year at Hayden, and Cher's family has been hosting the welcome party for all the students at their mansion for generations. It's one of the events of the year, and everyone attends. People are excited to see each other after the summer, whether it's because they've missed their friends or just want to check if those people they hate are doing worse than them.
As I step into the shower, I remember the party during my freshman year. God, I was so innocent back then... Someone should've slapped me awake; I could've avoided at least a few heartaches. I looked around like I'd entered another dimension, full of drunk, high young people... Everyone doing whatever they wanted, because that's what rich kids do when they throw their crazy parties.
Back then, it took me days to process what I saw at that party, what all my current classmates were doing. I had thought, at most, there would be alcohol and cigarettes, but now, I couldn't care less.
I enjoy those parties like one of them, and I love it. The best decision I ever made was to stop overthinking and start living in the moment. Because why the hell should I care what others do as long as it doesn't affect me?
This year, the party promises to be wild, and the girls and I can't wait to see how our classmates resurface. I'd be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to laughing at certain people when I get there. Gossip has been flying around all summer, and I lost any shame long ago when it comes to speaking my mind and doing things out in the open. Plus, I'm kind of curious about what Faye said. If Ashley really has the nerve to confront me about sleeping with Travis, we'll see how it ends. I'm not looking to fight anyone, but I'm not backing down if some insecure girl tries to start something. At Hayden, it's eat or be eaten, and I decided a long time ago that I'm no prey.
After getting out of the shower, I slip into a light silk pajama set, mentally picking out a dress for Friday night. I don't care too much about what people think of me, but I do love looking perfect wherever I go. I've never been too spoiled, but I have a real weakness for clothes and shoes. I have a huge wardrobe, and I keep filling it increasingly each day. I finally settle on a short black dress with a plunging neckline and an open back, perfect for a night like that.
I can't wait to see my dear classmates again.
Hello and welcome to Serendipity!
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter 🥰. This is my first original novel and I've really poured my everything in it. I really hope you love Alexa's story as much as I do!
I'll be reading you! ❤️
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