drapetomania

(n.) an overwhelming urge to run away

"Is that all you got?" You asked with a challenging tone in your voice, the corners of your lips rose into a sly smirk. In front of you Astrid's eyes widened just for a split second but then she covered it up with a look of confidence, without giving you a chance to react Astrid charged towards you, swinging her axe above,  missing you by an inch. 

While her axe hit the ground you took the opportunity and swiftly rushed behind her, placing your sword against Astrid's neck before she had the time to rise her axe. Her body seemed to tense and it made you grin thinking the fight was over.

"Guess I win." 

"Guess again."

Once she said those words a sudden punch in the stomach sent you flying on the ground, the impact was too harsh it made a quiet groan escape your lips when you came into contact with the pavement below. When you opened your eyes they were met with the edges of the blades, Astrid was standing above pointing her sharp axe at you. A familiar smirk played on her lips and for a moment it made you think that it was over, that Astrid won, but then an idea popped and you gave her a lopsided grin.

With one quick movement you slid your feet against Astrid's legs making her fall down, whilst getting up you took your sword and pointed it at Astrid, her eyes darted to the axe and before she could take it you kicked it away, far out of her reach.

"Look's like the tables have turned." You spoke almost too sure of yourself, suddenly both of you heard clapping and simultaneously snapped your head to the source. Ruffnut was walking towards the dome and applauded you.

"Call it a draw?" You asked Astrid, turning your head down you waited for her replay. She nodded slightly and you held out your hand to help her but Astrid only glared at it and got up on her own. It was a small thing but it showed just how independent and strong she was, it amazed you and it made you look up to her more. 

"Hiccup wants us to check out a new island he found." Ruffnut informed both of you once she arrived. All three made your way to the stables and prepared for the trip, but before leaving you remembered something and hopped off from Crystal.

"You guys go, me and Crystal will catch up!" You yelled while running towards your hut, the rest agreed and flew away. Leaving without your journal was not an option and that was the reason you came back, a smile crept on your face when you saw it placed on your desk and you quickly rushed over, tucking the journal in your vest. 

A loud shriek came from outside and you quickly realized it was from Crystal. A sudden fear washed over your face and without hesitation you ran outside. Your dragon swaddled with bolas was the last thing you saw before everything turned black.

-----

The moment you regained consciousness every sense came back and it made you feel the excruciating pain on the back of your neck. Your eyes darted open when a hand slapped you across your cheek, it left a stinging sensation and it felt like your cheek was set on fire. When your eyes focused on the person standing in front of you it made your heart sink and it took everything in you not to scream.

"Alvin." You uttered, even though panic was spreading inside, you voice was stern and steady, matching the expression on your face. With one look-around you noticed that there were probably about twenty or more outcasts, though you couldn't help but wonder why they were here.

"(Y/N), its such a pleasure seeing you again!" Alvin's voice beamed, it was too loud but exactly as how you remembered it. A wide grin stretched on his face, showing his yellow teeth and it made you scowl at him.

"Can't say the same." The moment you said that all of his emotion drained from his face and it left him staring at you with a blank look. Being completely unfazed by that, you wanted to get up but the moment you tried to do so you realized your wrists and have been tied up, preventing you from escaping the place. 

"Well that was unpleasant to hear." Alvin muttered, before you had the time to say anything his face lit up and he grasped his hands behind his back. "Regardless, how have you been all these years? I heard you finally made friends, highly unexpected if I do say so myself." He continued and it made anger boil in your veins, but you still managed to keep your cool. 

"What do you want, Alvin?" You growled, getting inpatient because of his presence. 

"Help me train dragons, simple as that." 

"And what if I don't?" You dared to ask, what you didn't expect was him to laugh like a wicked madman. All around his men joined his laughter and you took that chance to take out the daggers on your tights, after that you speedily cut the rope from your wrists and ankles but did not move them freely. The thing was, two men standing on both of your sides and that meant escaping would be even harder if they caught you and the tree behind you was not helping at all.

Alvin's laugh died down though his twisted smile was still visible on his face. Alvin slowly walked away from you and headed towards the center of the opening that you were currently in, the more you looked around the more you realized that you were still in your island. 

"If you don't..." Alvin's voice cut off your thoughts but the thing that made you widen your eyes was the men dragging Crystal who was muzzled and chained up. The moment your gaze fell on her eyes you saw the worry glimmer in them, your head snapped at Alvin who continued his talk.

"If you don't then I'll kill all of your dragons. Starting with this one." His voice was so gravely and low it made a chill ran down your spine. For a second you thought Alvin's threat was a joke, but that thought flew away when he grabbed an axe from one of the soldiers next to him and instantly your breathing hatched. Alvin glanced at you and grinned when he noticed the fearful look on your face.

"I see one thing hasn't changed since you left." You furrowed you eyebrows, curious to what he was going to say. "You're still weak as before." 

"And you're still a pathetic excuse of a leader." You riposted without thinking and soon you would regret what you said. Alvin's grin turned into a frightening glare, his deep blue eyes seemed to pierce through your soul and for the first time in forever you felt so small. 

You knew Alvin's next move all too well and memories from day you were banished flashed before your eyes. Your heartbeat rapidly sped up when you remembered how he mercilessly sliced the Thunderdrum's head and there was no doubt he wouldn't do the same with Crystal. A chill ran down your spine just by thinking about it and it left you clench your fists together. 

Alvin rose his axe above Crystal's head and the moment you locked eyes with him everything seemed to slow down, you felt as if the day from years ago was replaying once again, Alvin's crooked smirk played on his lips the same way it did before and it left you distraught.

In a second you surged up, everybody was taken aback by your sudden movement and nobody had the time to react, luckily for you that was enough for your next move, the one nobody expected. Without hesitation you flung your dagger at Alvin, that throw was your last chance of saving your dragon and the thing that happened next made all the emotions drain from your face.

You missed.

Suddenly two rough hands grabbed both of your arms, pulling them into a firm grip. Your eyes darted between the two angry men holding you, sweat drenched your skin when their terrifying glare intensified. 

"My my, (Y/N), it seems like I have underestimated you." Alvin's face held a look of surprise, which was very rare to see and even if his words made you feel somewhat proud that didn't stop the rush of anxiety that quickly folded your mind. It seemed like time didn't move while you awaited for what will happen next, but Alvin decided to take your dagger which hit the tree behind him.

"That was such a blunder thing to do and now you will face the consequences." Alvin's gruff voice growled, he fiddled with your dagger, inspecting it roughly from each edges and while he did that you were contemplating what his next moves might be.

"I suppose this knife might do the trick." Alvin looked at the dagger then at Crystal back and forth and instantly your eyes widened with fear once you realized what he was thinking about. The terror you felt years ago was nothing compared to how you feel now, Crystal was your dragon, your best friend and she has been next to you all these years so losing her meant loosing half of yourself. 

"Don't even think about harming her otherwise I will destroy you." You spat with sudden fury, it grabbed Alvin's attention and the corners of his lips curved up into an atrocious grin. 

"In that position you're incapable from preventing me to do so and if I were you, I would worry about myself rather than this useless reptile." No matter how much you wanted to doubt it, Alvin was right. You couldn't do anything except watch the scene unfold in front of you and hope for the best, but deep down you knew nothing good can come from this situation.

"Alvin, don't!" You chocked out. With each time you tried to move the men holding you tightened the grip on your hands, but the pain from them did not match the one you felt in your heart as you watched Alvin walk closer to Crystal. Fear curled up inside you as the seconds ticked by, the more you wriggled the more you felt powerless because escaping seemed almost impossible.

"I wouldn't want to know how it will feel to have your dragon killed by your own knife." The moment he said those words the blood inside your veins went cold. Your heart which was once quickly beating was now slowly pounding against you chest and you felt like it was the only movement around you because all of your muscles seemed to be frozen.

"No!" Your screaming increased and it felt like your vocal chords were going to explode soon, with one last hope you twisted around trying to escape but it was useless, the men holding you were twice as strong. Tears started to build up once you locked eyes with Crystal and it broke you that she leaned down accepting her defeat, accepting her death.

He's going to kill her and its all you fault. 

You should've been smarter.

You should've been stronger.

You could've saved her.

But it's was too late.

Alvin rose your dagger above Crystal's head and you let the last scream escape your lips before chocking a loud sob. You kicked your legs and let the tears stream down your cheek, soon it felt like there was a waterfall flowing down on your face. 

"Crystal!" You yelled out thinking that everything will end in this moment but out of nowhere a plazma blast shot the ground next to Alvin.

Hiccup.

The sudden attack made Alvin drop the knife, you noticed his smirk turned into a look of hatred with his clenched jaw and eyes that looked like they might pop out any time. The men holding you were startled as well and they released their grip from your arms, if you had any chance of escaping it was now. 

Without a second doubt you bolted ahead, all of the Outcasts were too busy fighting off Hiccup and the rest that they forgot about your sword that was left unguarded. When you took a hold of the weapon your eyes set on Alvin who had his back facing you, he was snapping his head left and right instructing the Outcasts what to do and fortunately for you, he was oblivious to your presence.

The gang was doing a good job and soon enough all of the Outcasts fearfully ran away leaving Alvin yelling at them to come back, but it was no use because he and his captured men were the only ones left standing. 

You lunged at Alvin's direction with quick and light steps, careful not to be noticed by him . The rage and blood-lust that stayed hidden all this time finally rushed throughout your body, up until now you didn't notice the strong vindictive feeling towards Alvin and now you had the opportunity to end his life. 

For a second you were shocked by your thoughts, you stopped right behind Alvin, contemplating your next move but it was pointless because your heavy breathing gave you out and Alvin turned around, his face held surprise but he quickly camouflaged it with anger. 

"This is your last warning to leave, Alvin! Go away and no harm will be done." You shouted venomously, there was no doubt that everyone heard that and already you could feel everybody's eyes burning on the back of your head. Though you fixed your hard staring eyes onto Alvin who only glared back, his silence made you clench your fists and grip your sword tighter.

"I will not be leaving without the dragon's head as a trophy." Alvin said, he quickly grabbed his mace and before he could swing it onto your dragon, with all your strength you flicked your sword at Alvin which easily pierced through his thick metallic armor. Gasps filled the air because of the sight they just witnessed and it left you feel powerful, an unexpected rush of adrenaline swept over you almost begging for more.

You expeditiously took out your sword and watched as the string of red blood got cut away, your eyes gazed up into Alvin's petrified face, he had his thick eyebrows arched up while below a thin red ribbon of blood dribbled from his griefstricken frown. 

"I am not the weak (Y/N) you once knew, Alvin. And thanks to you I've grown strong, even stronger than you." You said tracing your fingertips against the edges of your sword, the thick dark red liquid sticking to your fingers. Alvin's hands moved down to his wound, he desperately tried to cover it and stopped the bleeding, a scowl of disgust appeared on your face but you quickly wiped it away.

"Now as for you." you spoke after turning around and looking at the trapped Outcasts, not even once did you dare to look at the dragon riders behind them. "Take your leader back to Outcast island and spread the news of his mighty failure."

Alvin fell on his knees and that made you feel even more proud, "What a shame to be defeated by an opponent twice smaller than you." you spat at Alvin but then his men rushed over and picked him up before fearfully leaving to their island.

Once they were all out of sight your hands became unsteady which made the sword shake violently and if that wasn't enough your feet began to tremble as well and in a second your knees fell on the ground. Now the only sound left was the loud heavy breaths escaping your lips. All the strong act was gone and now your true self finally appeared, the events that happened this day played back and forth and the more you thought about them the more you felt nauseous in your stomach.

Out of nowhere you felt something hard and scaly caress your cheek and slowly you turned around to find your dragon standing next to you.  

"Crystal..." you whispered, your voice held a tinge of sadness which was the only thing you felt when you looked into Crystal's limpid eyes. Silently, the warm tears began rolling down on your cheeks and for the first time you did not care if anyone saw that. In an instant you wrapped your arms around Crystal's neck and chocked out a sob.

"I could've lost you." Another stream of tears fell down just by thinking about what you said and no matter how much you tried to stop that thought it just kept coming back. Your chest tightened as you tried to prevent a sob but you let it out, and it seemed like with each cry you let all the emotions out leaving you to feel nothing but emptiness.

"(Y-Y/N)?" Your eyes darted open when you heard somebody call out your name, when you finally looked up you saw that all around stood your friends and their dragons, each of them had different expression on their faces. Some were shocked and some heartbroken, but they all shared one thing, they didn't knew how to react to what happened.

Your eyes landed on Hiccup who seemed to have seen a ghost, he slowly walked towards you and with each step he took you took a step back and kept your distance away from him, with one last glance into his forest green eyes you dashed away deep into the forest, completely ignoring everyone calling you from behind.

And it seemed like forever as you ran through the thick forest, but your legs finally gave up so you stopped near the ground that drenched with shimmering water, flowing freely without a care in the world. You sat under the shade of a tree and let the despair soak right into your bones, tears were already threatening to spill from your eyes and after many times of trying to suppress them, they began running down your cheeks.

It left you puzzled not knowing the main reason to your sorrow so you let out an exasperated breath.

Maybe this was the time your dragon needed you the most, but here you were running away from everything and everyone, it pained you that you always do that yet in these situation your rational thinking never works and it always ends up with you facing away your problems.

Your breath hitched when you realized that Alvin might attack the Edge with all his fleet and it was all your fault, you anxiously ran your hands through your hair thinking that he might be plotting that in this exact moment. A quiet sigh escaped your lips while you tried to push away all the paranoid thoughts away, but then something grabbed your attention and it was the sound of something metallic hitting the ground.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was Hiccup's signature peg leg so you quickly wiped away the tear stains from your face before he saw that you've been crying. Just as you heaved yourself, from the corner of your eyes you saw Hiccup stop dead in his tracks. A lugubrious expression crossed his features making you look away because you knew it was you who was causing it, you could feel Hiccup moving closer yet you didn't look up. But soon you found out that wouldn't be needed because a pair of arms were wrapped around you and you were pulled into a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry." you chocked out melancholy, after blaming yourself for everything that happened it felt like you were telling that more to yourself rather than Hiccup, but in the end it was the only thing you could say. In a second Hiccup pulled away and cupped your cheeks which made you look into lustrous green eyes.

"(Y/N) listen to me, what happened is not your fault and you don't have to apologize for anything." Hiccup spoke, his voice was encased with determination to prove his point. You watched how his eyes glimmered while he fixed his gaze into your (E/C) eyes, his eyes darted from one eye to another and you did the same.

"But I s-stabbed someone, I could've killed him, I could've been a murderer." You stuttered and looked away, but Hiccup caressed your cheek and it made you catch his gaze once again. A chill ran down your spine because of Hiccup's cold hand's pressed against your face and in a way it felt relaxing because it cooled down your warm cheeks.

"If you hadn't done that, Alvin was surely going to kill Crystal." Hiccup replied bluntly and you eyed him surprisedly, but no matter how much you wanted to rebut, that was the truth.

"If anything, you're a hero (Y/N). You saved your dragon." Hiccup said and flashed you a smile and instantly all the pain washed away, his words stayed in your mind and they kept repeating like an endless cycle. And till now you didn't thought about the things from that perspective, it didn't even cross your mind for a second and the more you thought about it the more you realized Hiccup was right.

Your frown was lifted up in an instant and you pulled Hiccup into an unexpected kiss, he was surprised but quickly returned it. Your hands slid into his shaggy auburn hair and cradled his silky strands. After a moment the lack of air made you both pull away and stare at each other lightheartedly while your breaths mingled.

"We should go back." You spoke and Hiccup nodded, both of you walked side by side together. Hiccup placing his hand onto your shoulder left you startled but from an instinct you wrapped your hand around his waist and both of you continued your walk with tight smiles plastered on your faces.

-----

As you neared the clubhouse you could feel the hesitation arise and it was enough to make you slow down your pace, Hiccup seemed to notice that you were lacking and spun around.
"What's wrong?" Hiccup asked with a tinge of worry in his voice, which matched his concerned expression.

"I'm not sure how the others will react when they see me." You replied and chomped onto your bottom lip, feeling a rush of anxiety overflow throughout your body. "What if they don't want to be friends anymore?" You added and began pacing around. Your fretting was shortly lived because in an instant you were pulled into a hug and all the worry seemed to melt away when the sweet staleness of rose-petals enveloped you.

"It's going to be okay." He whispered into your ear in a soothing manner, he rubbed circles onto your back which surprisingly calmed you enough so you pulled yourself together and parted away from Hiccup.

When both of you entered the clubhouse everybody's attention was instantly fixed to you and Hiccup. The gang didn't gave you their usual warm smiles instead you were greeted with unsure expressions on their faces which made you cast your gaze on the ground below.

"So how is everybody?" Hiccup awkwardly laughed and you internally face-palmed at his hope to lighten up the mood which obviously didn't work, it made everybody look away. But the moment you cleared your throat everybody's eyes flickered back at your direction, they watched as you made your way to the fireplace and sat in one of the chairs.

"I believe I owe an explanation about today." You spoke with hesitation evident in your voice. The plan was to spill out everything and tell them about your past, but that would lead to a mental breakdown.

'Oh who am I kidding, they've already seen me cry so what's the point.' You thought and sucked in a breath.

The next couple of minutes consisted of you telling them everything about the past life and watching their different reactions and when you were finished you were bombarded with questions from everyone. What surprised you the most is that you did not shed a single tear while telling your friends about the events and it made you happy because you were finally moving on from that point of life.

"And you thought they would hate you." Hiccup joked, the gang erupted in laughter and you sent a playful glare at everyone, especially the auburn haired boy sitting across.

"No, but seriously I strongly believed that. I stabbed a person in front of you guys, didn't that change anything?"

"We've seen a lot of that, so not really." Astrid was the first one to replay, her cold jaded eyes pierced through you and her answer shocked you. Darting your eyes from one person to another, everybody nodded and it left you marveled how they could be so calm about the situation.

"I never thought you had the guts to do that, considering you're a girl and all." Snotlout snorted and crossed his arms, a sly smirk played on his lips. At first you thought he was giving you a genuinely nice comment, but the second he stated the last sentence it took everything in you not to blow up and lampoon him in front of everyone. Instead you clenched your jaw and faked a smile.

"Well next time remember that girl's have guts too." Ruffnut beat you to telling a smart comeback at Snotlout, but hers was relatively close and straight to the point. Snotlout shrugged his shoulders it left you wondering if he denied what she said or simply didn't care.

The next two hours passed fairly quickly and one by one everyone left, leaving you and Hiccup alone. Out of nowhere you heard a rumbling sound making your cheeks crimson once you realized that it was coming out of your stomach, till now you didn't notice you were hungry and because it was quiet you could bet that even Hiccup heard it.

You glanced at him and noticed that he was biting his lip, trying to suppress his laughter but in the end a short chuckle escaped his lips. Before you got the time to say anything Hiccup got up and left saying he will be back right away, for some moments you were left sitting alone in the eerie silence until Hiccup came back with two dishes in his hands.

The curiosity washed over your face when he placed one plate in front of you, and it spread even more when you were looking back and forth between Hiccup. He offered you a cheesy grin before sitting down.

"Try it, its yak butter parfait." Hiccup said and took a bite of his dish. After some seconds of examining the dessert you ate a spoonful of it and as soon as you began chewing it your eyes widen.

"This is the best thing I've eaten!" You beamed and began eating rapidly, stuffing your mouth till its full. You then closed your eyes and leaned back, at the same time sighing in pleasure. Whilst chewing the last bite you savored the creamy taste as if it was the last time you'll be eating this dish.

"Snotlout made it." Hiccup blured out and you almost choked at what he said. Because of your shocked reaction, Hiccup began laughing and you still couldn't wipe out the surprised look on your face. Suddenly the image of Snotlout adding a cherry on top of the dessert and then clasping his hands together in delight made you laugh more than Hiccup.

"You're lying!" You managed to breathe out through your giggles, his statement sounded too surreal it made a look of disbelief cross your features, while still keeping a joyous grin.

"No, no, I swear! Snotlout knows how to cook." Hiccup replied, rising his hands in defensive position as if to prove his point. It only made you laugh more to the point where you were pounding at the table, your stomach began to hurt from laughing too much yet you didn't show any signs of stopping any time soon.

"Oh man that was hilarious." You said some seconds later, after wiping away a tear from the corner of your eye you walked behind Hiccup who was flickering through the pages of the dragon manual. You leaned onto him and clasped your arms in front of his chest and nested your face against Hiccup's back, the corners of your lips curved up in a thin smile while you were thinking just how lucky you are to have a boyfriend like him.

Suddenly the doors started to open and you took a sharp step backwards, in an instant your heartbeat increased. Once you looked at the door you saw Fishlegs with a big smile on his face, none of you said anything and you prayed to all the gods that he did not see you.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Fislegs questioned and walked closer to the fireplace, an unnoticeable quiet sigh escaped your lips but you quickly masked it with a grin.

"We were...we're talking about some dragon techniques, yeah, dragon techniques!" Hiccup instantly replied with a slight stutter, his sheepish laugh at the end made you think that Fishlegs would catch up on the lie and continue his questioning, but thankfully he was oblivious to the lie.

"So you will need the book of dragons?" Fishlegs asked and both you and Hiccup denied simultaneously, you looked at each other surprised and then back at FIshlegs who had a puzzled expression on his face.

"Okay then...Well is it alright if I take the book?" He wondered and Hiccup instantly gave him the book, after you bid your goodbyes to Fishlegs a sense of relief flew throughout your whole body and you let out a loud sigh.

"Well that was extremely close." Hiccup stated and walked behind you, wrapping his arms around you and tucked his head on the crook of your neck. You placed your hands on top of his, suddenly feeling the coldness of his hands and it left you wondering how can Hiccup's hands be always cold, but after deciding that it was an insignificant question you shrugged it off.

"Yeah." You simply replied.

"Are we going to tell the others about us?" Hiccup's question took you off guard and made you think about it for some minutes. Even you yourself didn't know the main reason why hiding your relationship was a good idea, but you decided it was probably because you were fearing other's reaction. Growing up the main thing preventing you from doing the things you wanted was what other would think and even now that thought process is still stuck with you.

Hiccup must've noticed your silence because he spoke again, "It's alright, we'll tell them when you're ready." He assured and you internally awed at how sweet he was. You spun around and pressed a kiss against his lips, after parting away both of you stared at each other with smiles plastered on your faces.

"You're the best, Hiccup."

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