Do read whatever is written in the end

Sid:good morning

Sana:good morning Sidharth

Sidharth entered the kitchen and wished her.He moved towards the fridge and took out a water bottle.

Sid:when did you came?....you told that you were going to meet Shefali

Sana:yup,I did went to meet her....eventually I had thought to go after meeting her but thought to meet you and kiddo before going home

Sidharth had given her spare keys of his house.Shehnaaz hesitated at first and refused it but later on Sidharth's insistence, she agreed .In the morning she went to meet Shefali and after that came to his home by using the spare key.

Sid:what are you making?

Sana:just some food for kiddo,he has school,right ?

Sid:yup but you don't have to take stress....just sit and I will do it Shehnaaz

Sana:Sidharth tu toh roz karta hai,ek din mujhe bhi karne de

Sid:nope

Sana:Sidharth

Shehnaaz whined but Sidharth held her shoulders and moved her out of the kitchen.

Sana:acha baba breakfast toh bana lene de,uska tiffin tu bana lena

Sid:thik hai

Shehnaaz shook her head in disbelief seeing him while Sidharth pointed at the kitchen counter indicating her to resume her work.Shehnaaz fake glared at him but soon resumed her work.

Sidhansh:good morning dad,naazu

Sana/Sid:good morning

Sidhansh sat on the table while Shehnaaz served him the sandwiches she had made.After serving Sidharth, she also served for herself and sat down.

Sidhansh took his first bite and recognized that it was not made by his dad.

Sidhansh:you made it naazu?

Sana:yup

Sidhansh:but you didn't knew how to cook ?

Sid:you didn't tell me that you didn't knew how to cook.....,you could have told me ,I told you I will prepare the breakfast but-

Sana:Shut up Sidharth, I didn't knew how to cook but I learnt it,okay

Shehnaaz said interrupting Sidharth.Sidharth reluctantly nodded at her and continued eating.

Sidhansh completed his breakfast and was going to get up but Sidharth stopped him.

Sid:by the way Ansh,what you and Bella aunty talked about?

Sana:Sidharth

Shehnaaz whisper yelled but Sidharth gave her a look "I want to know,okay".Shehnaaz just huffed and rolled her eyes.He is not gonna listen.

Sidhansh:nothing much dad,she just told me that

Flashback

Bella:so did you liked the food Sidhansh?

Bella asked sitting while sitting on a chair beside him.

Sidhansh:it's good aunty,I liked it

Bella:hmm,still wanna hide it?

Sidhansh stopped eating and looked at her confusingly.

Sidhansh:hiding what aunty?

Bella:hiding the reason behind your sadness,hiding the reason that took that sweet smile of yours

Sidhansh:mom is dead,she left me forever

Sidhansh said while controlling himself from crying.Sidhansh never treated Bella as just his grandmother's friend,he treated her as his family.So when she asked the reason he was not able to hide anymore.

Bella:Ruhi died

Bella said in a shocked. She had knew that Ruhi left Sidharth but never had she thought that she died.Shehnaaz had come to her but just told her to talk to Sidhansh for once.She didn't told any specific reason behind it.She wanted Sidhansh to say it himself.

Bella:how?

Sidhansh:when we had went to Delhi to see dadi....mom was admitted in the same hospital ,so dad came to know that she died a week ago in that hospital

Bella stared at the boy with sadness and helplessness. Why he had to suffer so much? She looked at him and noticed the way he was controlling himself from let his feelings out completely.

Bella didn't said anything and both sat in silence before Sidhansh broke it.

Sidhansh:why she left me forever aunty?

Bella:she didn't left you Sidhansh,she is still there....it's just that you can't see her

Sidhansh:she is not there, she left me....I had planned so much,I had thought that when I would grow up....I would meet her ,I would talk with her again, I would spend time with her again and play with her....hug her,but now everything is ruined,she is not here anymore

Sidhansh said with tears flowing out of his eyes.He didn't cared about anyone now,he didn't cared how weak he was looking.He just needed to vent out his feelings and he was doing it.

Bella:She is Sidhansh if you believe...who told you can't meet her now,close your eyes,keep your hands on your heart and you would be  able to see her....and when you would want to talk to her ,look at the beautiful stars and talk whatever you want to and trust me she would hear it

Sidhansh:would she really listen to me?

Bella:yes but only if you believe....if you believe she is here with you,she is here with you and you will feel her presence....her body has left this world, she hasn't....don't make her sad Sidhansh by crying, she doesn't want you to cry for her

Sidhansh:I don't know aunty, what should I do?

Bella:wait,I have something for you.....when Ruhi first gave me that I was confused that why she is giving me that but now I understood

Bella stood up from her seat and moved towards her room.She took out a white coloured diary from the diary and gave it to Sidhansh.

Bella:when Ruhi first gave me this she told me to give it to you when the right time comes.....I think the right time has come

Bella gave him a sweet small smile and asked to open it.Sidhansh opened the diary and found a letter .He opened the letter and looked at it.

He touched the letter first because it was his mom's handwriting, she had written.He smiled with tears in his eyes and started reading.

Hey baby,my cute Ansh....if you are reading this ,I would be probably dead by now.....uff,quite harsh reality, I know.....years ago I left you and Sidharth cuz I thought a temporary goodbye would be better than a permanent goodbye....I didn't wanted to give you all a lifetime pain so I left before only....I don't know how old are you now,but I am guessing that you would be mature enough to read it....so where should I begin from...mmm, let's start from the day when I got to know that I was pregnant with you....more than me ,Sidharth was happy....he freaked so much and literally took me two times a week to the doctor, crazy much,right?......do you know why I named you Sidhansh? Cuz you are a part of him more than me.....one day of my fourth month,I felt so much pain and felt as if my labours had started and blood started oozing out.....I was groaning and screaming but unfortunately no one was there in the home....but suddenly I don't know how Sidharth came and immediately took me to hospital....doctor told that I was having a miscarriage but luckily Sidharth brought me hospital on time and prevented it....that whole day he stayed with me,hugging you and talking to you.....and when I asked him how he came to know?he told me that he felt that you were in pain so he quickly came, I was shocked that how come he knew......but that day,I also came to knew that not only you are connected to me but you are more connected to Sidharth than me....so I named you Sidhansh, meaning a ansh of Sidharth, part of Sidharth.....I know  you would be angry now,very sad and maybe crying also....but my Ansh is not so weak ,you are strong my baby and you have to face this situation also

Though I didn't took care of you while you were growing up but I would be looking at you from up and blessing you....and whenever you want to share something with me,write it in this diary and I would read it.....you can also write your wishes,I would come back as a ghost and fulfill it or I would say God to fulfill the wish of my cute baby

I love you baby,never think that you are alone....I'm always with you,your dad is,my angel is....I know my angel will love you and give you all the motherly love which I was unable to give you

And yeah this diary and letter is a secret between you and me so don't tell anyone

P.s. don't cry please cuz then I will also cry,do you want me to cry?

Sidhansh finished reading the letter and wiped his tears.He didn't wanted to make his mom sad or cry.He will only make her happy and proud of him.

Sidhansh:thank you Bella aunty for giving me this....it gave me a lot of strength

Bella:you are welcome Sidhansh, she would be smiling now seeing you smiling again.....she is in a better place now so don't make her sad.....when you remember her also ,smile while remembering her......do you know how worried you made her when you cried so much and distanced yourself from Sidharth and Shehnaaz, even they both were so worried about you....promise me  you would apologize to them

Sidhansh:I promise

Flashback ends

Sidhansh:I am sorry dad,naazu....I made you sad and so worried about me.....I promise I will never distance myself from you and always share my feelings with you

Sidhansh said while lowering his head.He was now feeling utterly guilty for making his dad and naazu so worried.He didn't told them about the diary and letter.

Sidharth got up and moved towards Sidhansh.He lifted his chin and made him look at him.

Sid:it's not your fault Ansh,it came as shock for everyone so I didn't expected you to react any better....but now I am happy seeing you smiling and accepting the truth

Sidhansh smiled at him and hugged him which Sidharth happily reciprocated. Shehnaaz sat there and smiled looking at the duo.

Sidhansh was happy but in his mind there were many thoughts roaming.

Who is this angel?
Why mom said she would give me motherly love?
******************
You don't know
what I have been through
The childhood I've had
How much I hate myself
What I do to myself when I'm alone

How much I want to give up
How much my heart hurts
How much I cry
But you don't know

The voices screaming in my head
The pain which you left inside me
The silence in which I sit with and think
What went wrong?
But still you don't know

You don't know any of these things
You don't know how I am
You don't know what pain I am going through
But still you would say I love you

Did you really love me?
Think once

People ask me,"What is a family?"
I stare at them and then say,"I don't know"
Cuz I never knew what is a family

From the all books of famous writers,
I got to know family is someone which
Cares for you, loves you,understands you
And knows what you are going through

But,
You don't know.

(The drawing beside the poem that she drew)

(The credit of drawing goes to Google but the credit of the poem goes to me only😉.....how was it?first time in my life I have tried poetry 🤗❤)

The girl wiped her tears which rolled down from her eyes and looked at the paper blankly. She closed the book and stared at it.Another depressing poem of mine,great.

Girl:why the hell ,I can't get over this shit?

Woman:because this shit is a lifetime shit and runs in your body

The girl turned around and saw a lady in her mid 40s standing at the door and staring at her.

Girl:hey,maria....I didn't knew when you came

Maria:how are you?

Girl:I am fine

The girl looked at her and hesitantly replied.Maria sighed in defeat and looked at the girl helplessly. She would never tell.

Maria:maybe they could change her(whisper)

Girl:did you say anything?

Maria:yup,the dinner is ready come downstairs

Girl:okay

The girl stood up from her chair and kept the book in her box which was labelled as "Memories ".

Maria:I have booked your flight,you are going next week

Maria said while munching on her food .The girl who was peacefully having her food froze and then looked at Maria who had a serious look on her face.

Girl:is it necessary Maria,you know I can spend my vacation here also....there are so many things we could do together

Maria:I know but he has said that you will go there and that's final

The girl clenched her fist and held her spoon in a tight grip.Her breathing become heavy and her eyes filled with a rage that could burn anything but still it was calm and controlling to not burn things and people.

Him,him and him....whatever he wants that will only happen,fuck-fucking-tastic, she thought.

Maria:eventually you had to go there ,it's your home sweetie

Maria said lovingly to her and rubbed her arm calming her.The girl turned towards Maria and said with a stern look.

Girl:that's not my home

The girl stood up and left the dinning room.She locked her room door and sat on her bed.

Girl:chill Sam,it's just a vacation trip.......you are not going  there forever

Only if she knew........
************************************
Kinda hurt from you all😔....I understand your hands might pain from writing atleast a word also,right?that's why many of you don't comment....it's okay,even my hands are  paining after writing 2000+ words😵....so I will give my hands rest now and write only when they feel like writing🙃

What's the use of writing when many people are not interested only?

Hope you liked today's part😊.Do vote and comment.

Keep loving and supporting me

Sidnaaz Forever 💕
Bye,take care.Love u all 💜💜