The day seemed to pass so quickly that Sean couldn't believe it. It was only his first day here and already time seemed hell bent to rush him through it. As the hour grew late, Arin had to go back home. Leaving Sean alone again with Nate. Leaning back against the wall in the hallway by the front door, Sean listened to Nate humming something to himself as he cleaned up the pizza box and cups. He watched Nate with slight longing. If Nate was having trouble in his life, you would never know it. He always seemed to be so calm and warm hearted. Forcing himself back into the living room, he shut off all the electronics. Nate set the pizza box on the island counter, then moved to the sink to clean the cups. He was going to help Nate dry them, when his eyes caught a brown envelope by the house phone. Moving closer to it, he felt a little nosy as he read the handwriting that read 'Do not open until the live stream.' Sean ran his fingers over the red wax seal of a 'V.' He wondered what it was for. Only to leap away from the small table in fright. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw Nate standing there and practically had a heart attack. Clutching his chest, he tried not to look guilty... but he was. He had been caught snooping. Nate crossed his arms over his chest, resting his shoulder against the wall with a smug grin on his face. Sean regained his composure, telling him in an embarrassed voice. "I'm sorry... It just caught my attention." Nate bit his lip, shrugging it off as he told him lightly. "I know. I'm dying to know what it is too... but I'm not allowed to open in." Nate pushed off the wall to head down the hall and Sean followed him, asking curiously. "What do you mean? Why not just open it now?" Nate stopped at a door to tell him with a smile. "I can't. It's something my D.M. sent me. I'm suppose to wait until it becomes important to the quest." Sean processed that for a moment, while Nate opened the door to a bedroom and began clearing off the bed of papers and instruments.

Stepping inside the room, he questioned Nate with a peeked interest. "A D.M.? You mean like a Dungeon Master? For Dungeon and Dragons?" Nate set a guitar on a stand in the corner, giving him a swift nod. Then while he was putting papers in a notebook, he told Sean casually. "Exactly that. Do you play?" Sean slumped against the wall, grumbling out. "I wish. I'm never close enough to anyone that plays it." Nate chuckled, hugging the notebook to his chest as he chimed in sweetly. "Me neither. That is why I live stream it with friends online. It's fun. You should try it." Sean shrugged hopelessly. He hated to do it, but his depression was seeping back into his mood. It even showed a bit in his voice, when he replied dryly. "I can't. I wouldn't know where to begin and it would cost me a small fortune to start." Nate set his notebook on the dresser and took his wrist, pulling him back out the door without a word. Sean didn't know what he was doing, until he opened another room door.

This room looked like his little studio. There was music equipment neatly put away, or off to the sides. At the far end of the room was a computer desk and small shelves of notebooks. A few were open on the desk, but Sean didn't get a chance to read them. Nate released him, dropping into his chair before his computer. Nate opened a drawer or two, before he pulled out a Players Handbook. He even removed an extra Character Sheet and a set of dice. Sean was already getting ready to reject his offer, when Nate stood up to hand them to him. Sean only got to shake his head and raise his hands in a casual gesture of non-acceptance. Only to have Nate place them in his hands, telling him wholeheartedly. "Just look it over and fill out what can. Have a little fun. I'll put you in a solo mission. It will be great." Sean wanted to refuse. It was just that he was finding it hard to refuse Nate with those big doe brown eyes of his. Sighing, he accepted, still managing to grumble out. "I can try... but Nate... I'm not much of a reader."

Nate chuckled, leading him back to the other bedroom as he told him over his shoulder. "Neither am I. Just skim a few pages and see what stands out to you. The character will practically build itself. You'll see." Nate stopped again at the bedroom door, shuffling his feet a bit awkwardly. Sean stepped inside, wondering if Nate was nervous about putting him in this room for some reason. Nate cleared his throat, pointing across the hall to the bathroom and uttering out a bit distracted. "So anyway... The bathroom is right across from your room. I'm just down the hall on the other side of my studio room. I'll try to keep it down... Sometimes I can't sleep and start messing with stuff in the studio." Sean felt suddenly uneasy watching Nate. He appeared to be anxious now about something. Dropping the stuff on the bed, Sean approached Nate slowly. Nate shifted away a little, not meeting his eyes. Sean moved to lean on the door frame across from him, stating out lightly. "If you don't want me in this room, I can sleep on the couch. I really don't have a problem with it."

Nate smirked, but it didn't last. It faded rather quickly, when he told him in a light undertone. "It's not that. I just... I hope you sleep well." Nate began to turn away and Sean grabbed his elbow to stop him. Nate froze in place. Sean didn't know what to say. Had he done something wrong? Had his dull mood hurt Nate in some way? He didn't get a chance to say anything. Without looking at him, Nate very tenderly told him. "Jack... Have you ever loved someone so much... But they always seem to be just out of your reach?" Sean released Nate's arm, flinching as he answered a bit pained by the memory. "Ya... Once or twice now." Sean grimly thought about the first time he saw Mark. Reliving that desire to be his. Then as Mark drifted from him and he started dating Felix... He still had a longing to be at Felix's side, but he always felt like Felix was leaving him behind. He got so caught up in his own head that when he finally looked up, he found himself staring into Nate's eyes.

Nate's eyes darted across the floor like he was struggling with something internally. Then he stepped closer, putting a hand to Sean's cheek and looking him in the eyes as he told him seriously. "I know you're not ready, but all I'm asking is that you give me a chance when you are. Sean, I can't stand it anymore. I need you to see me." Sean stepped back until his back was pressed firmly against the door frame. He had really hoped that Nate hadn't invited him here for just this reason. He couldn't do the rebound guy thing again. He didn't have enough heart left to even try. Nate slowly lowered his hand from his cheek, stepping back as he added in tenderly. "Sean... I won't bring this up again. Just let me get this out. Please?" Sean couldn't force himself to move. He was partly afraid for the safety of the last surviving piece of his heart, and partly afraid that he had made a big mistake coming here. He didn't want to give Nate hope where there was none. He was done with love.

Nate took his silence as acceptance and told him as calm and casual as he could. "I get it. You're in pain. You need time to heal and I'll gladly give you the space you need. However, I can't stand in the shadows anymore. I was afraid then, but I don't care anymore. I want you to know how I feel. I watched Mark take you in and toss you aside. I watched Felix move in and leave you behind. Call me selfish, but I care about you and I want to give us a shot. Even if that means that I have to fight past your walls to prove it to you." Nate let out another deep sigh, relaxing now that it was all out in the open. Sean slowly inched into the bedroom, starting to close the door. Nate watched him with a neutral expression, which coaxed him into saying just as seriously. "Nate... It's too late. I've got nothing left to give." Sean tried to push the door shut, when Nate stopped the door to throw in with a warm loving smile. "I don't want you to give me anything. I want to give you everything that I am. Love my heart, or break it. The decision is yours to make."

Nate removed his hand from the door, slowly walking down the hall toward his own bedroom. Leaving Sean to finish pushing the door closed. Sean pressed his back against the door, taking a deep shaky breath. Closing his eyes, he shook his head grimly. Nate made it sound all so easy, but he didn't understand. Even if he could manage to feel alive and well again, his heart would never recover. No matter how much the small piece of his heart fluttered to his lovely words. He had to protect himself. No matter what... He couldn't allow himself to let Nate in. Stripping down, Sean climbed into the bed. Curling up under the covers, he tried to drown out Nate's words and harden himself. Although, it was difficult to harden ones heart, when his body was already trying to tempt his will power. Nate's scent was all over the bed and every time he started to drift off, his brain would try to imagine Nate laying in bed with him. For a few seconds it was bliss. Then he'd jerk himself awake and try to fall asleep thinking about something else.

When it didn't work, he found himself skimming through the DnD book as a way to distract himself. He thought about making a human rogue character, only to reluctantly drift off again from exhaustion. This time he couldn't wake himself up. In this dream, he was at some kind of masquerade ball. He was pickpocketing guests as his DnD character. He was looking for something at this auction... but what he wasn't really sure of. Slipping his hand into the pocket of the man beside him, he winced. The man had caught his hand in a tight grip and turned to face him with bright doe brown eyes. Nate. Nate sipped alcohol from a glass, before pulling him closer to whisper into his ear. "That isn't necessary. All you had to do was ask." Sean couldn't look away from Nate's eyes, feeling goosebumps trail down his arms as Nate's fingers slid up his wrist, his arm and up to his neck. Nate's fingers curled around his neck, pulling him into a tender kiss that set Sean's heart on fire. He felt himself giving in and let Nate back him against a wall. He couldn't recall why he didn't want this.

The dream was so real that the moment he jerked awake unexpectedly... He felt disappointed that Nate was nowhere to be found. Removing the book off his chest, he touched his throat. The same spot where Nate's hand had been in his dream. He could still feel his hand like it was still there. He could still imagine his soft lips and the sweet taste of the red wine on his lips. Realizing that he was lingering in a fantasy, he draped a hand over his face and groaned loudly. In his exhaustion, he had given into weakness and temptation. As he woke up more, he buried those feelings quickly. He wanted to get a shower and forget all the things Nate had said last night. Climbing out of bed, he soon realized that wasn't going to happen. The minute he opened the door to head for the bathroom, he heard the cover song that Nate was working on.

"Open up your eyes take a look at me. Get the picture fixed in your memory. I'm driven by the rhythm, like the beat of a heart, and I won't stop until I start to stand out.

Hmm, To stand out. Some people settle for the typical thing. Livin all their lives waiting on the wings. It ain't a question of 'if.' Just a matter of time, before I move to the front of the line.

Once your watching every move that I make. You gotta believe that I've got what it takes! To stand out! Above the crowd! Even if I've got to shout out loud, till mine is the only face that you'll see! Gonna stand out! Till you notice me.

If the squeaky wheels always getting the grease, I'm totally devoted to disturbing the peace. And I'll do it all again, when I get done. Until I become your number one!

No methods over madness and no means of escape. Gonna break every rule. I'll bend them all out of shape. It ain't a question of 'how.' Just a matter of when. You get the message that I'm trying to send?

I'm under a spell. I'm in over my head. And you know I'm going all of the way till the end! To stand out! Above the crowd! Even if I've got to shout out loud! Till mine is the only face that you'll see! Gonna stand out! Till you notice me!

All I need is half a chance. A second thought. A second glance to prove that I've got whatever it takes! It's a piece of cake. To Stand out! Above the crowd! Even if I've got to shout out loud! Till mine is the only face that you'll see! Gonna stand out! Stand out! Ya!

Stand out! Above the crowd! Even if I've got to shout out loud! Till mine is the only face that you'll see! I'm gonna stand out! Till you notice me." 

There was just no way that Nate was going to simply let him forget. So, that left him with only one burning question... How long could he keep pushing Nate away, before he'd realize the hard shameful truth and give up on him? To Be Continued...