Sean sat at the Starbucks, drinking his hot coffee and scrolling through his phone. The day was bright and sunny. Too sunny to stay home. So, he had decided to go out and enjoy the day. He had plans to record something much later. Right now, he just wanted to get some shopping done and just have some fun exploring. He had gone to an anime store and picked up a few interesting books that had caught his attention.  When Felix sent him a text message requesting to meet him at the Starbucks for lunch. He had been here for five minutes now and there was no sign of him. Checking his messages, he wondered if he had missed a text. Nothing. Rolling his eyes, he sat back in his chair and started to check his twitter. Felix was really distracted lately. Since his trip to Japan with Marzia to help get their clothing brand off the ground, he had been too busy to spend any time with him. 

It wasn't a problem at first. He was touring a lot and Felix really wanted his clothing brand to take off. Felix even recruited Marzia's help him lighten his work load and she had a good eye for fashion. It seemed to be a very strategic move. He just wished that Felix had more time for him between tour dates. With Felix banned from Pax and Cons it was difficult enough to see him. Even living so close to him... Felix was rarely ever home with his constant trips to Sweden and Japan. Sean started to nibble the tip of his thumb, while his other continued to scroll through twitter for news on everything his friends were up too. He bit his thumb a little hard as he stopped on a picture of Mark. Mark looked to be at a renaissance festival with his arm around Amy's waist. Amy wore a yellow flowing dress with an autumn flower crown, while Mark wore a simple black sweater with a black Australian cowboy hat.

Sean had to avert his eyes from the picture for a minute. He may have moved on from Mark, but some of his affection was still there for him. Mark breaking up with him hadn't been easy to deal with. He had moved to Brighton just to help himself get a fresh start and to help forget the past. His relationship with Felix here had been exactly what he needed. They had only been dating for a few months, but Felix understood him. Even if Felix and Mark were always at odds when it came to him. It had tested their friendship more than once and the fans only fueled the fire by taking sides with which ship was stronger. Things had cooled down a lot though since Felix hardly ever saw him and Mark was involved with Amy. Sean scrolled past the picture to see Signe's newest drawing. Another ex that he had left behind for Mark. Signe didn't talk to him much anymore, but he still considered her to be a close friend.

Sean nibbled his thumb again as he realized how much he had gotten around. He felt bad breaking up with Signe after three years together... but coming out hadn't been easy on him. Mark had been there for him, until he wasn't. As close as they had gotten, Mark tasted the pressure of his fans judging him and had jumped right back into the closet. Leaving him broken hearted and left to handle the issues alone. Felix had been his saving grace. Felix didn't care what his fans thought of anything. He just lived and he wanted to be like that. To feel so free. Although, Felix felt a little too wild and free sometimes. Now being one of those times. Had he forgotten about wanting to meet him? Sean glanced around the coffee shop. Still no sign of him. Sean sighed to himself, it was pretty bad that he had walked here and he still beat Felix here. Lowering his eyes back to his phone, he scrolled a bit more.

Sean smirked, seeing that Nate's new album was about to come out. He had already preordered it. He liked Nate's music style. He enjoyed rock music more than any other genre. He envied Nate for being able to get his music career off the ground. He had never managed to get his college band out of the 'garage phase.' Sean read the next tweet from Nate claiming that his wedding to Cristina had been put off. Sean was only a little curious why, when the next tweet caused him to pull his thumb away from his mouth in shock. The picture was small, but posted by Felix. In it, Felix was kissing Marzia's cheek and the caption read, 'She said she'll think about it..' Sean's eyes drifted down Marzia's raised hand to see the ring on her ring finger. Sean stared at the picture in disbelief. This was a joke, right? Felix would have told him if this was true. How had he let this happen? Wasn't Felix in a relationship with him?

His mind was in a state of shock, trying to piece together endless possibilities. While his heart shattered across the floor into particles of dust. He couldn't go through this again. His heart couldn't go through this again. He thought Felix and himself had something special. Had it all been in his head? Had it all been one-sided? What had he done wrong now? Sean's eyes started to well up with tears as a familiar voice uttered out in a low register by his table. "Oh, shit... I hoped to catch you before you saw that." Sean lifted his eyes up from the phone to lock with Felix's. Felix shuffled his feet uncomfortably, mumbling out. "I got stuck in traffic. I'm sorry. Everyone seems to be heading to the pier today. Look, Jack about-" Sean quickly pocketed his phone, cutting Felix off with a sharp accusing tone. "Tell me this is a cruel joke... Is it?" Felix stood in silence with a guilty look on his face. Felix swallowed, then slipped uneasily into the seat across from him, averting his gaze to say softly in a tender voice. "Jack, let's get something to eat and I'll explain."

Sean leaned forward, glaring at Felix with cold eyes as he answered dryly. "Wrong answer." Sean gathered his stuff up, listening to Felix plead out. "Jack, wait! Please, give me a chance to explain myself. I'll buy you lunch?" Sean climbed to his feet. Part of him wanted to stay and listen... but he had to get out of here. He didn't want to cause a scene and he was too close to bursting into tears. Shaking his head, Sean mumbled out in a quivering voice. "I've lost my appetite. Enjoy yourself." Sean rushed off toward the door, nearly colliding with Marzia on his way out. Marzia smiled at him, but he didn't return it. Instead, he just stepped past her to escape out the doors. Outside, he speed walked back toward his house. Crossing through the park, he slowed down to drop onto a wooden bench. Leaning over his legs, he dropped his face into his hands and let himself cry. He felt like Felix had punched him in the gut from out of nowhere. How could he do this to him!

What made this whole thing worse... Sean had felt like this had been a long time coming. Felix had been drifting from him in the last month or two. They hadn't even lasted a year together. His relationships appeared to be getting shorter and shorter. Heading home, Sean dropped his stuff at the door and dragged his feet to the kitchen. Pulling out a Suntory Toki Whiskey bottle from his cabinet, he took a glass off the counter and dropped down on his couch in the living room. He didn't have the energy or desire to do anything anymore. Turning on Netflix, Sean looked for a movie with lots of violence and not a trace of romance. He had settled on watching Alien. When his phone started ringing in his pocket, until he couldn't take it anymore and muted it. Tossing it across the coffee table, he took another hard swig from his whiskey glass. At some point in the movie, Sean had past out from his third glass of whiskey and upon waking, he checked his watch.

It was getting late and he hadn't recorded anything yet. Groaning loudly, he pried himself off the couch and headed to the bathroom. He needed a shower to wake up and clear his head. After his cold shower, he dressed and sat in front of his computer to start uploading a video that Robin finished editing. As it uploaded, he sat staring blankly at his steam account. He tried to search for something to play. Anything... but his heart wasn't it in. His heart was broken and his mind was clouded with muddled thoughts that brought him down. Sitting back, he ran a hand through his wet hair with a heavy sigh. He didn't know what to do. Climbing out of his chair, he paced his recording room, before walking to the living room to grab his phone. Deleting the messages from Felix without reading them, he unmuted it and made his way back to his recording room.

He was about to open his recording room door, when his phone dinged with a new message. Letting his hand fall from the doorknob, he glanced at the message and found it surprising that it was from Nate. Opening the message, Sean leaned his shoulder against the wall as he stared at the link. Why was Nate messaging him a link? That seemed unusual. They shared comments and jokes on Twitter a lot... but links? Touching the link, his phone brought up a song that was rumored to be on Nate's new album. The song was titled 'Dream Alone.' Sean raised an eyebrow curiously, listening to the lyrics closely.

"I know I said, I'd keep my distance. But you're becoming an addiction. You gave me a taste. Can't stay away. So much shit going on in my brain. Now I can feel you moving. I know that this will get confusing. I don't know the goal, but you're in control. Give me direction for playing my role.

(The First Verse) I'll ride with you all night. A picture perfect sight. Now, maybe I can't make you mine. So, I'll enjoy our time.

(The First Chorus) When we're alive, say good-night. Let me know if I'll be sleeping alone. Don't deny it, takes you high. Are you in now? Am I taking you home? No reason for it. Was I drunk, or did you get inside my head?

(The Second Verse) When we're alive, say good-night. You should know. Don't let me dream alone.

(The Second Chorus) I really know that I should relax. But without you, I'm in a relapse. Yeah, when you're away, I shiver and shake. You're a bad idea and I need you to stay. I need to feel something. Now, you just leave me wondering. But you can't deny, when sparks start to fly. Are you down to throw out you and I?

(Repeat The First Verse, The First Chorus, and the Second Verse)

(The Third Verse) I can't stay away, you're killing me. I can't help, but think you're feeling me. I can't stay away, you're killing me. I can't stay away.

(The Third Chorus) I know I said, I wouldn't miss this. But I'm officially addicted. But you can't deny, when sparks start to fly. I'm not ready to drop you and I.

(Repeat First Chorus)

(The Fourth Verse) When we're alive, say good-night. You should know. Don't let me sleep alone.

(The Last Verse) I can't stay away, you're killing me. I can't help, but think you're feeling me. I can't stay away, you're killing me. I can't stay away."

When the song ended, Sean wondered why Nate sent him this song in particular. Was Nate trying to tell him something? Sean sent a question mark out to Nate as a response and waited anxiously. Within a minute, Nate's response came in. Opening it up, Sean read it quietly to himself. "I'm in the need of a drummer. Know anyone that might be interested in stopping by for a time?" Sean still felt perplexed, but looking up at his recording room door, he sighed lightly. Getting away did sound good right now.  Brighton had become too painful to stay in at the present time. He needed to get his brain back in order. He needed to take a break and get away for awhile. To Be Continued...