• Remus Lupin •

„Blood makes you related,
loyalty makes you family."

Remus Lupin sat in his brown leather chair at his desk as he did every evening and read the newspaper. The marauder's map lay spread out before him on the dark wood. But instead of showing him Hogwarts' outline and its inhabitants, insults were thrown at him by his former friends.

It wasn't that Remus had forgotten how to open it, after all, he was a real marauder. No, he had deliberately opened it the wrong way in order to endure the not-so-friendly greetings of Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, who made fun of his little furry problem or the fact that he had become a teacher. This made Remus feel like his friends were alive or not traitors. It was as if they were standing right in front of him and he thought he could even hear them laughing.

He had been amazed to see the map again, for Filch had conscripted it in his seventh year at school. He was even more amazed, however, that none other than Harry Potter and Serena Black had it. The direct descendants of the manufacturers. But the most astonishing thing was their statement about whose name they were supposed to have seen on the map. Peter Pettigrew. It couldn't be possible.

His friend was dead.

What was more, Remus had gone through the entire school register, looking for a namesake of his former friend. But in vain. Harry and Serena had probably mixed up or misread something. Where on earth had they even heard of the name and how much did they possibly know?

Remus looked out of the window, his office was in the North Wing so he had a clear view of the Quidditch pitch. Dusk had already fallen over the grounds and the sun was just disappearing from the horizon behind the tall round gates. The Gryffindor team's training must have just ended, because he could see a cluster of students in red cloaks disappearing into the changing rooms. With the exception of three similarly dressed figures.

Remus leaned over his massive wooden desk closer to the window until the tip of his nose almost touched the ice-cold glass. Two of the students were also wearing red Quidditch cloaks, on their backs he could clearly read Potter and Black even at a distance, the third person had red hair and was just pushing himself off the ground with a broom, it was unmistakably Ron Weasley.

Remus looked for a chaperone, the person who tolerated students still getting up to their mischief on the grounds at this time of night. His gaze quickly fell on the one person crouched slumped in the tiers. The short hair sticking out from her head could only belong to Madam Hooch, who had obviously folded. His gaze had already fallen on the tattered cloak at the cloakroom when the Head of Quidditch abruptly startled and sent the kids back to the castle with an angry face and a raised index finger.

Relieved, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher leaned back in his chair and watched the red dots until they slowly disappeared from his field of vision. He still remembered the whole procedure of checking the two Firebolts that Harry and Serena had received for Christmas and now proudly carried around with them for several curses with Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick. He himself had been sure that there was nothing wrong with the brooms, even if Sirius had sent them. But he had kept that opinion to himself.

Sighing, Remus turned back to the Daily Prophet. Exhausted, he rubbed his tired eyes, with which he had been looking through sixth years' essays all afternoon, and then focused them on an article that jumped right into his face. The Ministry had given the Dementors permission to perform the kiss on Sirius as soon as they found him. It wasn't the first time the werewolf had heard this news. He had read the article over breakfast when Snape had handed him the paper with a nasty grin.

The grin alone, had given Remus the feeling that it had to be something bad. It was more than obvious that Snape was perfectly fine with Sirius receiving the Dementor's kiss and Remus was fine with it too... At least that's what he told himself. It was his punishment for what he had done to Lily, James and Peter. What he had done to him.

He still remembered how he had wished Sirius dead, shortly after betraying his best friends. So much had he hated the Black, so much that he would have killed him with his own hands if he had had the chance. But now, after twelve years, he wasn't so sure....

Remus was abruptly jolted out of his gloomy thoughts when he heard an excited commotion that had been brewing like a storm outside his door for the last few minutes. A glance at the clock told him that the students had long since had no business in the corridors. At least they shouldn't be caught so obviously outside a teacher's door. He would never have been so stupid in his school days. Even if he, James, Peter and Sirius had done some stupid things. Hastily, he dismissed the thoughts of his friends once more and swallowed the memories like foul-tasting medicine. Instead, he rose from his chair and went to see what was going on in the corridors.

Quietly, he closed the door behind him and walked slowly down the dark corridor, at the fork of which he could spot a group of students at the end of the corridor, who themselves did not seem to have noticed his presence yet. Remus cleared his throat, "What's going on?"

Startled faces with innocent expressions that he didn't buy turned abruptly to face him. Even though they had now obviously noticed him, not one of them answered his question. Instead, they hastily swarmed off in different directions, leaving a trembling Gryffindor behind.

Remus' gaze fell on Serena, whose dark eyes avoided his. An evil suspicion spread inside him. "Is everything alright?" he asked her gently.

The student nodded slowly, her distraught gaze still fixed on the ground, not looking remotely like everything was alright. Her breathing was still rapid and her even paler face reflected a mixture of anger and shame.

"Shouldn't you be in your common room at this time of night?" he probed further, for it had not been long since he had watched her walk back into the castle from training. That part of the castle wasn't exactly on a direct route into the Gryffindors' common room, though.

"I actually wanted to talk to you", she finally admitted meekly, avoiding any eye contact. Remus opened his mouth in surprise, searching for a plausible explanation for her words. Perhaps she had a question about homework or simply wanted the map back. The latter was more likely.

He eyed Serena for a moment and hesitated, but decided to give himself a break. He had wanted to talk to her outside of class anyway. But his mind had been stronger than his curiosity so far.  "Why don't you come in? A Grindylow has just been delivered for our next lesson."

"A what?" she asked behind him in wonder, seeming to have forgotten her previous feelings for the time being, as genuine interest was now evident in her voice as she followed him through the squeaky wooden door.

"A water demon." explained Remus, eyeing the Grindylow in his tank thoughtfully, "We shouldn't have much trouble with him, not after the Kappas. The trick is to break its grip. See those unusually long fingers? Strong, but very fragile..." he had to stop himself in his flow of speech, for he had unconsciously slipped into his full professor mode. 

"Cup of tea?" he asked quickly instead, trying to remember where he had merely misplaced his kettle, "I was just going to make myself one."

"Yes, thank you," his student replied sheepishly and he could feel her unreadable gaze on him as he finally located his cauldron. He tapped his wand against the cauldron and immediately a jet of steam hissed from his beak.

"Sit down," he offered to Serena, who was still standing in front of the water demon, and lifted the lid from a dusty tin can. He didn't miss the dark-haired girl giving the map on Remus' desk a longing look before sitting down. So she had come for the map after all.

"What brings you to me, Serena?", Remus handed her a cup and sat down across from her. Nervously, she fiddled with the hem of her cloak and kept running it through her curly hair. Remus had to avert his eyes, she finally came clean, while he wished she hadn't.  "Yeah um...I wanted to ask you something, so... you knew my father, Sirius Black, right?"

The teacher felt his face stiffen at the mere sound of that name and his cup slipped from his trembling hand. He truly had not expected this confrontation. How had she found out? Had she known for some time? After all, she obviously knew about Peter too. So how much more?

"No, What makes you think that?" he asked more cuttingly than intended, not knowing whether Serena flinched at the change in his tone or his obvious lie. With raised eyebrows, she stared back in amazement.  "You had said that you knew the makers of the map you took from Harry and I..." her gaze flitted uncertainly to his wooden desk for a split second, "I know that one of them was my father."

Remus bit his lower lip, torn. Should he lie? He had always been a bad liar, she would find out either way if she didn't already know. There was no escape from this situation.  "Yes, I knew him." he replied curtly, hoping to convey to her that he was reluctant to talk about it, "Or at least I thought I did. You'd better go now, Serena, it's getting late."

The former student didn't want to talk about Sirius, certainly not to his daughter. Didn't want to rob her of the hope he thought he saw sparkling in her deep brown eyes. But instead of standing up and responding to his clear request, she rummaged around in her cloak and slapped something down on the table in front of him.

He did not move, instead he stared at the photo of himself with his friends. He knew that photo because he owned the same one. Remus still remembered the day it was taken, Lily had shown them her new muggle camera and immediately snapped a few pictures. She had made four copies of that picture and had joyfully pressed them into each of their hands. At that moment they had not yet guessed how precious it had been. Thought that their lives would always be like this moment. How wrong they had been, but not even in their worst nightmare could they have imagined the bitter truth.

Only through a thick fog of memories, nourished by melancholy, he heard Serena, who had started talking again, "Professor, I thought you might be able to help me... . I'm looking for my godfather."

This information was new to Remus and brought him back to the present. So James was her godfather. Wasn't she supposed to know that the father of one of her friends had died years ago?

The werewolf finally turned his eyes away from the photo and looked at Serena, who was staring at him with wide, hopeful eyes. Inwardly he sighed. How could he explain to her that her own father had killed her godfather? Why him of all people?

"You know, he's my only living relative who's not a fugitive, besides my mum...", Serena lowered her gaze and was now the one staring at the old photo.

Compassion sprouted in Remus, he knew the feeling she described. After all, he had no one left himself. For a brief moment he collected himself to say the words he had never actually said out loud before, "Serena.... I'm really sorry to tell you this, but surely you know that James Potter is dead."

Her eyes looked up, staring unfathomably into his uncomfortable countenance, "James Potter is not my godfather."

"Well then, who is?" he inquired, puzzled, being completely stumped for a few seconds. Surely it wasn't Peter... But didn't that mean? His gaze was drawn back to the photograph on which the Gryffindor had placed a finger and was now pointing directly at the boy between Sirius and Peter, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like Harry's 'Uncle Mooey'.

It took Remus a long time to realise, or at least it seemed like an eternity. He was her godfather! But why would Sirius choose him of all people to be her godfather? It didn't make sense. Or did it? A memory flashed through his mind, of the day Harry was born and Sirius held Harry in his arms. With a grin on his face he had addressed the following words to him, "Next one's yours Moony!"

At the time, Remus had reckoned that he meant James and Lily's next child, not his own! If he was honest, he had never seen Sirius as a father.

"My mum did it for him because he would have wanted him to be my godfather," Serena whispered, to which he merely nodded. He was at a loss for words, but how could he find the right ones when his head was so empty and his thoughts were racing at the same time. The Gryffindor eyed him impatiently, "Do you know him?"

Remus swallowed and panic began to bubble up inside him like potion in a cauldron. So she didn't know he was the boy in the photograph. What was he going to tell her? Would she be disappointed with the truth? Was he supposed to be lying? He averted his eyes, unable to continue looking at her. "Yes," he finally said, taking another deep breath, "That's me."

Serena froze in response, her mouth hanging open in the air. Cautiously, Remus looked at her, probably disappointed that it was him. Who wouldn't be? Eventually she seemed to regain her composure and nodded hesitantly towards his desk, "But you couldn't open the map."

Nothing seemed to escape her either.... Sighing, Remus stood up and walked to his desk with Serena following him.
He tapped the marauder's map with his wand and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good!"

He began to smile automatically at his friends greeting. Serena stared at the map in silence and then her eyes met his, she had tears in her eyes. They were silent for a moment, neither of them seeming to find the right words for what they had both just experienced, until finally she whispered, "You're Moony."

Remus just nodded, his throat tightening. This situation was completely overwhelming him. When the day had begun, he had never expected what this one would bring. Life surprised him again and again. Positively, but also negatively. Suddenly, Serena's gaze brushed the newspaper still spread out on the desk, but before Remus could react, she already had the Daily Prophet in her hand. "W-what does this mean?"

"The Dementor's Kiss," Remus replied with a pained smile, "It's what they do to those they want to destroy completely. Dementors press their jaws onto the victim's mouth and suck out their soul."

Serena frowned, her fair skin now even more sallow, "Professor, I have a feeling that something..."

A knock on the door interrupted them. Remus sighed and started to move to see who was paying him a visit. No sooner had he turned the knob than the first thing he noticed was the steam rising from a cauldron, enveloping Snape's unreadable expression. When the Potions Master's gaze fell on Serena, who was staring back with the Daily Prophet in her hand, a terrible grin spread across his face.

"Serena, I think it's better if you go," Remus remarked, looking at her regretfully, for Snape couldn't have picked a better moment, "I'm sorry."

The Gryffindor nodded and silently placed the newspaper back on the desk where it had been before. Without turning around again, she finally disappeared out the door where the Potions teacher still stood. A tough lump had formed in Remus' throat, for there were still too many unanswered questions. But she was already gone.

The werewolf finally turned to Severus, who was probably thinking up the craziest theories about why Serena had been with him. Wordlessly, Severus handed him the potion and left just as silently, before Remus breathed a sigh of relief to finally be at peace. After all, he had a lot to digest.

He couldn't shake the feeling that Serena wanted to tell him something important before she was interrupted. But he had to send her away before she found out that he was a werewolf, a monster. She, too, may have had enough to deal with.

Serena Black, Sirius' daughter, was Remus Lupin's godchild. He had to sit down at this thought, which only really dawned on him. She was the last family he had left. Remus didn't quite know what to make of it, but the longer he thought about it, the more he liked the idea. He was no longer alone. He no longer had to be alone.