Request from v-egaslights, whom requested this awhile ago but I forgot; She simply requested one word: Fire. This is as you may expect angst; however there is fluff in there too.

Thank you for all the support as of late and as of ever really - I can't believe I have to start preparing for 100K; Absolutely crazy. You all do so much for me and please know that it doesn't go over my head, I still get giddy when I see somebody has voted/commented.

Flames is all he sees. He wishes he could un-see it all. Its like the fire is behind his eyelids, every time he closes over; blue hues hidden for a few moments he sees the awful mixture of smoke and orange tones, his ears are ringing from all the sirens, blue, orange, blue. It makes him want to keep his eyes open all the time. The hospital lights are not helping, hes coughing and shaking; the foil wrapped around him not comforting at all.

;

He is just waiting, the white clock with black numbers just across from him mocking, almost. Its late but he isn't tired maybe not physically anyway, his mind is awake and reeling from the night events - how had it gone so wrong so quickly? Why had they no, why had he been so careless if he had just blown out that extra candle it wouldn't have happened - How will Mark forgive him, this is all his fault...

A nurse with worn out eyes snaps him out of his thoughts and hes somewhat grateful. "He's going for surgery and after that we will assess the burns properly as of now, its looking rather bad; Mr. Mcloughlin you must understand that there is no guarantee that his burns will fully heal." 

He hears the words he does, because lord knows they echo and echo; Jack hates it but he nods. Doesn't know what to say. Isn't sure how to feel. His lungs feel just as clouded as his head does - maybe its the smoke getting to him, Jack can't tell. His family arrives and he feels overwhelmed. They're gushing over him like he was the one up in flames no more than a few hours ago, he hates it - hes plagued with the feeling of being responsible for it and his family are goo-ing over him like hes the hero of this, hes the opposite, rather. Its all numb - the entire night. Like Jacks just a hollow shell, he was so happy spending a night with the love of his life - and now things may never be the same.

;

Jack hasn't slept much to his mothers chagrin. He doesn't want to eat either. Marks been in theater since three in the morning and god, what time is it? Feels like time has stood still; feels like everything has really. His world is in bits just like his crispy looking home he refuses face; not yet. He knows he's lost everything but nobody says anything. Maybe he wants them too, say all that hes thinking; confirm his guilt. It'd be better than sympathy.

Hes angry, hurt, upset; even. He just wants to see Mark and apologies, make sure he's safe. A doctor calls upon him and he races up, his legs shaking as he does so. He escapes his mothers clutches and eyes her with a look he hopes says; 'I want to be alone.' She looks weary but sits down in the uncomfortable seats nonetheless. Jack follows the doctor whom is trying to politely say that Jack may not like what he sees, due to the burns from the blaze that will perhaps, always plague him. He doesn't reply. His footsteps seem louder as he approaches Marks room, breathe.

They step into the room, Jack sits on the seat next to Marks bed. He cant see too much of the damage due to the bandages wrapped around possibly every part of Marks body; But he sees the hints of scarring on Marks features and he tries not to linger on them, his heart in the pit of his stomach. Mark doesn't look at him. Jack doesn't blame him. Its silent, Jacks rehearsed what hes wanted to say to Mark but words fail him and hes panicking, say something anything - he thinks.

Instead, Mark speaks up.

"Didn't want you to see me like this." If Jack wasnt as close he wouldnt have heard the tremble in the quiet spoken words. Jack shakes his head, his eyes darting around the room.

"I did this to you." He breathes chest tight; and tears whell in his eyes.

"Stop." He wants to protest, argue but Mark is in not state to hear about his guilt, not when he's felt it already.

"I'm sorry." His brain has repeated those words on loop a thousand times. He means it.

Mark doesn't say anything and Jack wants to repeat those very words until his lungs colapse.

"You should go." Mark says and Jacks heart hurts. He goes, though doesn't want to push anything; hes fragile right now and so is Mark.

;

Its happening again. The flames and Marks strained cry for help; he can hear his own voice; his accented and speech slurring as he phones the emergency services. The call is ended with simple words; but there uttered with such emotion it hurts hearing them replay, his dreams are cruel to him.

"Please," The line is dead and suddenly there's loud, flashing blue lights and unmistakable sirens through the thick smoke in Jacks living room. Hes coughing but he won't leave; his own voice is broken between coughs but hes murmuring the same thing;

Itll be okay, itll be okay.

He wakes up in a sweat, unsure as to where he is but then he sees his mother across the room looking worried and he sighs. She must've dragged him home from the hospital. His heart beat is louder than anything in the room.

He eats some sandwich his mother made; deciding he should have some energy (atleast physical.) for when he goes back to the hospital.

;

He stays for awhile, until hes sure Mark is completely ingulfed in sleep and then he goes to face a demon; One he might not be ready too but it should be done sooner rather than later.

Jacks on his own as he walks up the familiar gravelly path, crunching beneath his feet; he used to love that sound and now it bothers him. The whole house feels like its haunting him.

Shattered glass still at the front of his beloved home is in ashes. It'd been merely a week since he had asked Mark to move in before the home went into flames. Hes shivering from the memory of it and those bastard flames are behind his eyelids again. He takes a deep breath.

The night replays. He lit those candles and Mark had chuckled; "Real romantic." It was supposed to be, they had had a nice dinner, settled into each others arms at the end of the night.

Mark went to bed and Jack fell asleep on the couch.

He woke up to flames, the candle had fallen over; set fire to his curtains and he remembers clambering upstairs, frantically waking Mark as the thick smoke rose; And before they could get out the door, the living room sort of blew up; and he can still hear Marks broken cry from it.

Itll haunt him. He yells at the house, tears flooding down his face.

;

Hes there, throughout it all; the surguries, the recoveries, the silences, hes there. Neither of them addressing anything and even after a grueling few months, Mark still doesn't look at him. It hurts even now but Jack doesnt mention it, nor does Jack mention his lonely nights or how many tears shed in the past months or how much he misses Marks embrace; There wounds are still healing.

And when he gets discharged, its not easy.

"Where will you stay?" Jack utters, as if hes just expecting for Mark to return home and into his arms. Part of him is.

"I'm going to stay with my mum for awhile. Ill visit, yeah?" Jack nods, he wants to protest but doesn't push it, the Irishman still finds it hard to be near that house and can't remember the last time he slept well.

;

Mark keeps his promise and visits Jack, they meet at small cafes on the outskirts of town or little bars here and there. Jack gets a little too tipsy and says what he has been wanting too for months.

"Im so sorry. I was careless that night and I nearly cost you your life and I don't know why you haven't told me to fuck off yet. I love you so much-" Hes crying.

"Ill never forgive myself so I don't expect you too and I've lost my - our home but I learned that you are home too me too. If I'm your home, come home; please Mark?" His accent is thicker now that hes crying and Mark looks up at him.

In the light Jack can see his scaring upon his features, he wants to run his fingers along them or kiss each one; whisper to Mark about how pretty he is.

Mark reaches out, and hes so close.

"It wasn't your fault. I forgive you, forgive yourself." Jack doesn't know if he can. But Mark puts him at ease, helps his aching heart.

Jack realizes something as they're sat here, as close as they are.

They're broken, both of them - yes, Jack remembers learning that in Japan, broken objects are often repaired with gold; The flaw seen as a piece of history which adds to the beauty of it.

Maybe that's what they are, broken but in time, will be repaired with gold.