Mark trudged around the mall in a daze, unable to process the names of each store he passed. He knew students hung out here all the time, but he wasn't sure if Jack was the type. He was worried about him though, he was his oldest student, at twenty, and next year he would be too old to return to high school. But this didn't seem to worry Jack in the least, he was failing almost all of his classes. All except for the one Mark taught. Jack wasn't stupid, and he made that very clear by going above and beyond, seemingly with ease, in Mark's AP Engineering class. In order to be good at engineering, you need to be good at math. And not just fairly average in algebra- you needed to excel in calculus. So he wasn't stupid. Up until his first time going through senior year, he had passed his classes easily. He was bright student, one who could have had a bright future if he just applied himself. Which it was getting a little late to do, he was just a few years younger than Mark, and it was nearing the middle of the first term. He just didn't want to see Jack fail when he has so much potential to do great.

So Mark set out to tell him this, but couldn't seem to find him. No one had answered when he called the number on file, and a quick visit to the eerily empty house revealed that no one was even there to answer. Mark had sighed at the unfinished paint job on the siding of the quaint home, wondering why someone had stopped mid-project. Shaking his head now, he sits on one of the many benches surrounding the main fountain. Where was Jack? Did he even live there? Who's number was that? The mall was closing in half an hour, and it was starting to clear out. He should have been grading his latest test- but he figured this was more important. Even though it turned out to be a waste; Jack was no where to be found. Mark looked around him, trying not to seem so concerned. He recognized a few students, but none even waved at him, and he knew why. He wasn't exactly the nicest teacher around. He believed in a no-nonsense policy, and threw out detentions like rice at a wedding...

Maybe that was it. Maybe he could give Jack a detention, though he was very undeserving. He did have a tendency to sleep during the last few minutes of class when Mark allowed the students to work on assignments, but it never bothered him at all. He always had his homework done on time. But if Jack fell asleep again tomorrow, which he likely would, Mark would be sure to wake him up with a detention slip. It was a little cruel, but engineering was an extensive course that had a large syllabus, and there was no time to spare for small talk in the hallway with a troubled student.

As he makes his way back to his car, Mark frowns deeply. He was once a troubled student himself; he was always very skinny and an easy target for bullying. High school was even worse. He gained some muscle, but it wasn't enough. He'd been caught kissing a fellow student in the locker room- but not just any student, Garret Strom, the captain of the football team. Mark was gay, and apparently so was Garret. He tricked Mark into following him into the locker room. He loomed over him, firmly pushing Mark against a locker and insisting he wanted it, that he had to want it, because he was gay. And what gay boy doesn't want the captain of the football team? Well Mark didn't, and was about to say so, but when the door opened and the rest of the team filed in, Garret told everyone that Mark had forced himself on him as he was changing out of his uniform. After that, high school was hell on Earth. Every day he ran home crying, usually with a rip in his shirt or dirt on his face. The only solace he had was video games and taking walks in the woods with his brother, or even alone sometimes.

Several years passed, and he graduated from college. He planned on being an engineer, but wasn't willing to move far from his father for work. His father was very sick... And Mark wanted to stay close to him.When he passed it tore Mark apart. He got very depressed and worried his entire family because he rarely left his room. And when he did, he went out to the woods alone. Nearly a year after his father's death, Mark went on a walk that he didn't plan on returning from. He had failed as an engineer, failed at love, and now his best friend was gone and all he could do was take up space and burden his family further. So he left, took off into the woods with nothing but a flashlight for when it got dark.

He walked for hours, panting in the late summer heat. He regretted leaving his thick, black hair long and wavy. It hung down around his face, sticking to his damp cheeks and neck like his own personal storm cloud. He took off his shirt around noon, sighing at his sweaty muscles. He'd worked so hard for these, and no one was ever going to admire them as they lay on his chest. He was destined to be alone and misunderstood. Or so he thought.

Night fell, and he flicked the flashlight on to steer clear of trees and overgrown roots. He had no idea how far away from home he was or in what direction he was walking, but he didn't care. He didn't even have a set destination in mind. He laid down to sleep under a bush around three the next morning. He was parched the following day, his tongue felt like sandpaper against the roof of his mouth as he breathed heavily. But he kept moving. He didn't know why, he just felt like he had to. He avoided all clearings and created his own path through the scratching brambles. By midday he couldn't breathe, he was gasping and trying desperately to clear his throat, but it was impossible. He slumped against a tree and closed his eyes, sweat dripping down his face and chest as he waited for the end. It couldn't be so soon, he'd only been gone two days, right? Was that long enough to be dehydrated to the point of death? His eyes flashed open and he stared up at the sky. Thick clouds were rolling in, but it probably wasn't going to rain just yet. He sat there, his chest heaving rapidly as he watched the sun set. Hours passed and he couldn't move, he could barely keep his eyes open. As the first bolt of lightning struck, he felt himself smile, and a few drops splattered on his nose. He knew he shouldn't drink it but he couldn't stop himself. The heavy rain pelted his arms as he raised his cupped hands eagerly. An hour later he was drenched and exhausted; he couldn't even lift his hand up to brush his bangs out of his face before he passed out.

He was woken up to shouting, and opened his eyes. Two squirrels were perched at his side, staring at him with beady eyes and bushy tails. When he lifted his head off his chest, they scampered away, but not because of his sudden movement. A young couple in hiking gear pushed through the trees and rushed to his side. They looked rough, like they'd been out all night.

"Are you Mark?"

"Do you need an ambulance?"

Mark had tried to swat their hands away, but he was so tired... They pulled him up and wrapped his arms around them as they stood at either side.

"Got 'em," the red-headed male spoke into a walkie-talkie. "About ten degrees north."

"Heading your way," another male replied. Likely the chief of police.

Mark couldn't speak, he could only stare begrudgingly at the ground as the couple steered him back the way he came. His mother was frantic, and hugged him despite officials warning her that he might be nauseous. He was taken to the hospital and treated as if he'd been gone a week rather than three days. When asked what the hell he was doing, he explained that he was just going on another walk when he got side-tracked and followed a deer until he got lost. Then he just kept wandering, thinking he was going in the right direction when in all actuality he was going further and further away.

A month passed and talk of the strong young man who got lost in the woods died down. Everything went back to normal, except Mark wasn't sad anymore. He felt revived somehow, like his experience with nature held him together at the seams. But from then on he wasn't allowed to go out in the woods alone.

Eventually he applied for a job at the very high school he dreaded walking into as a teenager. Things were different by then, of course. People were becoming more tolerant and even forming gay-straight alliance clubs. Mark wanted so badly to coordinate one himself, but was too afraid of what the students and other teachers would think of him. Teenagers are a cruel species, with no regard for the feelings of others. And teachers, well, all of them are happily married with either a bun in the oven or one already out. He didn't want to be the odd, gay one at staff parties. Some of the teachers already knew he was That Guy Who Got Lost, and he didn't want to make himself stand out even more. He wanted to be in a relationship so people would quit bugging him, but after his stolen first kiss, he'd never been even close to asking someone out. Sure, throughout college he got more muscular and developed his own, sort of mysteriously handsome look, but he let everyone know he was not interested. And after his experience in the woods, he just laid low and spent time with his family.

"McLoughlin!" Mr. Fischbach snaps the next day, slamming the white sheet of paper on Jack's desk beside his head, which was resting on his folded arms.

"Yeah?" He mumbles, slowly sitting up to meet the deep brown eyes of his teacher. It was kind of awkward for the other students, as they could tell how close in age Mr. Fischbach was to Jack. They all assumed he was nice to him because they were friends, but if he were being honest, Mark was jealous of Jack, and was slightly pissed at him. He was a brilliant engineer and was ruining any chance he had of doing everything that Mark had wanted to do.

"Detention, tonight, two hours."

Jack's blue eyes widened as panic set in. "No, no, no, Mr. Fischbach, I can't!" His brown hair was slightly tousled from having his hood over his head, and there were red marks on his pale cheeks from where his sleeve had pressed into his skin.

"You can, and you will," Mark quickly turned away from Jack's broken gaze, earning giggles from the surrounding class. Jack never got in trouble with Mr. Fischbach, and it's always lovely to see a teacher's pet be treated like a troublemaker.

"You don't understand!" Jack pleads as the bell rings. Students bolt for the door, pushing out two at a time.

"Well, you can tell me all about it," Mark looks at his wrist as if he wore a watch, "right... now. Go," he folds his arms over his chest and smirks, leaning against the whiteboard.

Jack looks around, flustered, and runs his fingers through his hair as he stands. "I'm sorry Mr. Fischbach, but I have to go, I can't stay after," he briskly starts for the door but Mark catches him by his arm, glaring at him as he pulls him back into the classroom.

"You'll thank me for this someday," Mark insists. Defeated, Jack plops back in his seat. "So," Mark says as he sits on the desktop in front of Jack, placing his feet on the seat of the chair. "Tell me what's so important that you can't spend a little time with me?"

"My job," Jack nearly spits.

"Oh, you're a high schooler, I'm sure they'll be more lenient with you."

"You don't understand," he glares, visibly enraged.

"What don't I understand?"

"I work two jobs full time, and if I'm late once... Well, I'm easily replaceable."

"Two jobs? On top of school? When do you sleep?" Mark feels pity start to swell up in his chest.

"I don't really," Jack mumbles, his voice becoming thick with threatening tears. "Just a few hours. I wake up early to get homework done. It's just my mom and I, and she..." He trails off, folding his arms on the desk and putting his head down.

"Hey, relax," Mark reaches forward, resting a hand on Jack's shaking shoulder.

"Fuck you! I fucking hate you!" He smacks Mark's hand away and glares at him, his cheeks shining with fresh tears.

Mark leans back, startled by his outburst. "Hate me? Judging by your grade, I'd say I'm your favorite teacher."

Jack wipes his eyes on his sweatshirt sleeves and sniffs, glaring daggers at Mark's chest. "You were, up until just a minute ago."

"Why do you like me? Why me, out of all teachers? Everyone thinks I'm the worst," Mark attempts to drag an answer from the most stubborn student he's ever encountered. Jack just shakes his head, embarrassed. "Come on, you can tell me. Is it because I teach your favorite subject?"

"That's one reason," Jack allows.

"What's the other reason?" When he receives no reply, he exhales sharply. "I'm just curious, Jack, I won't tell the whole world."

If Mark didn't know better, he'd say there was a slight blush on Jack's cheeks when he makes eye contact once more. "You smell like Irish Spring." Now it's Mark's turn to go red. He can't help the awkward smile that plays on his lips. "It reminds me of my dad," Jack continues.

"What happened to your dad, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My father died, the summer before my first senior year... He fell off a ladder while painting our house and broke his back..." Jack whispers.

"I'm so sorry, if I'd have known... If anyone would have known..."

"Don't feel sorry for me. I don't deserve it."

"And why not?"

"I was seventeen at the time, and chock full of angst. I took it out on everyone, and my mother had the misfortune of spending most of her time with me. I would snap whenever she tried to ask how my day was, and I even told her she was a failure of a parent because she couldn't keep food on the table..." He sobs, and covers his face for a few seconds. When he puts his hands down, his eyes are much redder and he looks so exhausted. "I hate myself for that. I have to make it up to her," his lower lip quivers and he bites down on it.

"Jack," Mark touches his shoulder again and this time he doesn't smack him away. "You're a brilliant student, if you just... Finish off this year, you could probably still get a scholarship and become an engineer-"

"I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

Jack heaves a sigh and scratches his neck. "I can't do what I want until she's taken care of."

Mark thinks for a moment before hopping off the desk. "Would you care to come for a little ride with me?" He holds out his hand but Jack ignores it, almost bumping his shoulder on Mark's chest.

"Where are we going?" Jack asks as Mark leads him out the school's front doors and to his car.

"I've got something to show you."

"Mr. Fischbach, are you okay?"

Mark pretends he doesn't know about the tears in his eyes, "yeah, of course. Get in."

Nervously glancing around, Jack climbs in and Mark pulls out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going?"

"To my old place," Mark says matter-of-factly, gripping the steering wheel tight and staring straight down the road.

"This is the weirdest detention ever," he snorts.

"Sure is, but you're also a little old for regular detention so we can bend the rules. Want some tunes?" Mark flicks on the radio, tuning it to a classic rock station.

They arrive at the cream colored house within twenty minutes. Orange leaves congregate in piles on the lawn, giving everything a cheerful glow. Mark knocks on the door twice, trying to smile reassuringly at Jack.

"Mom," he smiles, hugging her. "Meet Jack."

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Mark laughs loudly, shaking his head. "No, no, just..."

"A colleague?"

"Yeah," Jack smiles, "let's go with that." As she leads them inside, Jack tries to shoot Mark questioning looks, but he brushes them off.

"That's my brother, Tom," Mark points at him and he barely looks up. "We'll be outside, okay? I want to show Jack around," he tells his mother. She nods, the huge grin on her face suggesting that she doesn't believe Jack is just a colleague. Mark tries to ignore her, and opens the door that leads to the deck. Behind his back, his mother squeals excitedly, earning a wide grin from Tom.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Mark points at the forest. All the leaves are changed, and some fall in a slight breeze.

"Yeah. Breathtaking."

"Follow me," Mark grabs his hand, pulling him through the yard and then onto a much worn path. They start down it and Mark lets go of Jack, feeling slightly embarrassed about his mother's accidental exposure of his secret. "About what my mother said..." He sighs exasperatedly.

"About me being your boyfriend?"

"Yeah, look, don't think anything of it, it's just because we're close in age, and..."

"And?"

"This is between you and me, okay?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Fischbach."

"Call me Mark."

"Sure thing... Mark," Jack says slowly.

"I'm not exactly... What you would call... You see... I'm..."

"You're homosexual?" Jack guesses, impatient with Mark's stalling.

"Uh, yeah... I guess you could put it that way."

"I already knew that."

"You WHAT?" Mark stops walking, his heart pounds heavily against his rib cage. He's never told anyone except his family.

"It takes one to know one," Jack shrugs, and continues forward.

"Jack?" Mark jogs to catch up with him. "You- you're..."

"Yep. Gay, queer, homosexual... whatever you call it."

"I had no idea."

Jack snorts and smirks at Mark. "Your gaydar must not work."

"Tell me about it," Mark mutters, shaking his head gently in an attempt to fix his hair.

"So what is it you wanted to show me?"

"Well, this forest, for one. But I also wanted to tell you something."

"Go on," Jack smiles, looking all around him at the canopy of trees.

"I was an engineering major, and the summer after my senior year in college, my father passed away... I gave up on everything. I got depressed and quit trying to get a job... I gave up on my dream. One day I... I walked into this forest with the intent to die in here."

"Mr. Fischbach," his smile fades.

"Mark," he reminds Jack.

"Mark... you can't be serious."

"Oh I am very serious, I was all alone in the world. I just burdened my family with my depression, and I'd never dated..."

"Not anyone?" Jack asks in amazement.

"No one. Have you dated anyone?"

Jack snorts again, a quirk Mark is starting to find adorable. "Me? No. No time. But continue with what you were saying, I'm curious."

Despite the seriousness of his tone, Mark almost chuckles. "Well, I went out on a walk one day, much like we are now except it was in the summer... and I was alone. I walked all day from eight till whenever I passed out. Then I woke up the next day and did the same thing. I was so dehydrated though, I felt really weak. Thankfully, it rained and my thirst was quenched... But I woke up the next day around noon... to a search crew. I was taken to the hospital, and of course people wanted to know what happened, but I told them I tracked a deer and got lead so far off the path that I got lost. I've never told anyone what really happened."

"So why tell me?" Jack whispers.

"Because I like you. And I envy you."

Jack snorts yet again, "envy me? I work two jobs and sleep three hours a night if I'm lucky."

"But you're still working toward your dream," Mark nods thoughtfully, grabbing Jack's hand once more and leading him off the path and through the trees. Mark expects Jack to pull away, and Jack expects Mark to pull away, so when neither does, they are both pleasantly surprised. They trample through the overgrowth until they reach a small clearing. Jack sighs loudly.

"What is it?" Mark murmurs.

"You really do smell nice," Jack says softly, tears threatening again. He misses his father so much, and Mark can instantly tell what Jack needs. He hugs him, pushing Jack's head against his chest and rubbing his back. It was such an odd thing for Jack to notice, but Mark is glad he did. They embrace for quite a while, standing at the edge of a clearing as leaves fall all around them. Mark tightens his arms around Jack, pressing their cheeks together. Contentment makes his mood soar, and he smiles happily. When his heartbeat quickens, he tenses, unsure of what caused this sudden spike. "What's wrong, Mark?" Jack asks quietly, as if speaking normally would break the perfection of the moment.

"I don't know," Mark whispers back.

"Your heart... It's beating so fast," Jack leans away to look at Mark's face. "Are you blushing?"

"What? No," he insists through tight lips.

"So you're going to confide in me, embrace me, and then lie to me like that?" Jack jokes.

"No! I..."

Jack snorts again.

"You really should stop doing that," Mark breathes, staring into Jack's eyes.

"And why is that?"

Mark's blush grows darker as silence fills the air again. "It's cute," he mumbles finally.

"You have a weird idea of cute," Jack chuckles, resting his head on Mark's chest.

"If you're weird, then I guess I do," he thinks out loud.

"I'm your idea of cute?"

"Come on, Jack, it's time to head out. I can call your boss and have a talk with him if I need to," Mark quickly changes the subject.

"Sure, sure, whatever," Jack chases after Mark as he briskly hikes out of the clearing and back to the path. "But what was that you were saying- about me being cute?"

"Oh, nothing," Mark grins, loving how Jack comes up beside him and immediately grasps his hand.

"Well, to be fair, you are really cute yourself."

"Ya think so?"

"I know so," Jack smiles, and Mark smiles back, finally letting himself love.