I wrote you a lullaby.

His own screams jolted him back to reality. He gasped, and flicked on the bedside lamp before the tears took over. He lay sobbing, shaking- helpless and alone in the empty house. Jack had been having nightmares. They woke him and made him scream in terror as he clutched the sheets where his boyfriend would lay. Of course, he only had these nightmares when Mark was gone. It didn't matter if he was just down the street, in the shower, or across the country- Jack's nights were restless without his lover's strong arms around him.

Gonna try to sing it right.

As his plane descended in Los Angeles, he tapped his foot impatiently. Mark knew about these nightmares, and it pained him greatly to have to leave Jack alone, but he had a lot to do, and most of it involved travel. So Mark wrote Jack a song. A soft song. It was short and to the point, but he knew it would help. Jack had confided in him that whenever the nightmares got to be too much, he'd watch Mark's videos to help him calm down. It wasn't exactly the same, Mark knew, because Let's Play Mark was not Loving Mark. So he recorded a song, put it on a CD, and left it for his boyfriend. He only hoped Jack would find it.

Gonna try to make you fall in love with me tonight.

Jack couldn't stop crying. He was gasping and his throat was raw- but his heart felt empty. Too many of his nights were like this, but tonight was even worse. All he wanted was to be held by someone who truly loved him. And he knew Mark loved him, that much was obvious by the way he'd come home with a bouquet of roses and a worried look plastered on his face. He knew Mark loved him because their heartbeats would synch up whenever they cuddled. He knew Mark loved him by the way his eyes shone under the stars, and the way their hands fit perfectly together. There was no doubt Mark loved Jack.

I'm gonna sing it soft.

Not caring how he looked, fresh from a two hour nap, Mark raced to gather his suitcases, and then to the taxi that was to take him home. He didn't know if Jack had found the song, but even if he had, Mark wanted to get home. He missed Jack fervently, and could barely live with himself for leaving him alone again so close to the last time. He still had a few hours worth of driving, but he knew it would be worth it. Jack was the best lover anyone could ask for. He was always kind and cheerful, very hard to pick a fight with. His heart pounded violently as he thought of his boyfriend. Never in a million years would he ever anticipate this feeling to become associated with his Irish friend, but fate has a funny way of making things happen.

Hope to god I sing it well.

Jack felt himself nearing a panic attack and sat up, leaned against the headboard and squeezed his eyes shut. His breath came in short bursts- but he slowly managed to steady his lungs to an even pace of in for four seconds, hold for three, out for seven. Every so often, his rhythm would be broken by a teary sob, but he was careful to contain himself. He didn't want a panic attack. No, not tonight. He wanted to wake up with a clear mind and a smile because Mark had promised he'd be home that morning. Just hang in there, he reminded himself, tilting his head back and resting his arms at his sides. There would be no calamity this evening.

My head's above the clouds but my heart's under your spell.

It was taking ages for the taxi to even get out of the airport parking lot. Mark was almost spitting he was so pissed. All he wanted was to get home before the sun rose- was that too much to ask for? Apparently so. Each second was agonizingly slow to pass, and the world seemed liquid in time. Breathing was a struggle. His lungs were taking too long to expand. Mark heaved a sigh and bit his lip, twisting his phone in his hand and occasionally pressing a button to illuminate the screen and his face with Jack's goofy smile. Mark chuckled quietly. It was such a rush to know that he could come home to that. That he could pull that into his arms and swing him around the room in a mock-waltz. Oh, how love can change a person. For Mark, Jack was the world.

If you ever need a thing from me, you know I won't be far.

'Just call me,' Mark had insisted each time before he left. But Jack never called. He was trying to be strong. He wanted to rid himself of this need for his lover. Jack didn't want to depend on anyone, and it really bothered him that he couldn't help it when it came to Mark. Mark was the only person who could make his heart flutter like a hummingbird's wings. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to remember the good times. The sweet first kiss they'd shared after hours of talking, the first night they spent together as a couple, the first date, the first make-out session, the first intimate moment... A small smile crept onto Jack's lips, but quickly faded when he remembered that Mark was not there, and would not be for a long time. The tears returned, and Jack pulled Mark's pillow onto his lap before hugging it to him. He froze when something hard and square dug into his arms.

You ask me where I want to be- I'll show you where you are.

Mark didn't want to text him in case he was sleeping peacefully- which was unlikely, but he let his hopes stay high. Impatient with the city around him, he stuck his earbuds in and pulled up YouTube. It was going to use a lot of data, but he really needed to hear Jack's voice. He watched a recent vlog, a reading comments, and finally, a really old video. The first video they did together. He couldn't control the smile that spread across his face, like butter melting in a frying pan late on a Sunday morning. He couldn't imagine life without this Irish goofball, without his Irish goofball. It's always a joy to be in love with your best friend.

I hear the people talk, I just try to block them out.

Taking the plastic CD case out of the pillow's cover, Jack stared in amazement. It was a white CD, simply labeled "I'm So in Love With You" in black Sharpie. How had it taken him all week to find this? His heart rate accelerating, Jack dove out of bed and pulled his laptop out from his messenger bag. He turned it on and turned off the lamp, wanting to be completely enveloped in whatever secret Mark had left for him. As he waited for the computer to boot up, he thought about what the fans would say if they knew about these nights. He wondered even more what those who hate him would say. It was a scary time, professing their love through all medias, and many people unsubscribed. Mark didn't seem too phased, but Jack was devastated. He always promoted equality, and each hateful anon or vitriolic comment was enough to send him spiraling into a depressive state of mind. He was still himself. He was still an energetic gamer with the intent to spread positivity- what did it matter who he fell in love with?

While their lips are moving mine are locked with your mouth.

The hate had affected Mark too, he just tried to hide it. He didn't want to worry his overly caring boyfriend anymore than he already did. So whenever he got particularly upset, he'd take Jack out on a date. An impromptu, scattered, random date. They went to movies, played in parks, danced at night clubs, anything they could think of to avoid the disgusting people who didn't have an open mind. These dates ended passionately, with fires in their hearts and sensual touches that drove them both insane. It helped Mark forget about how unwilling to understand people could be sometimes. With Jack in his arms, they evaporated, and the previous rage Mark felt turned into desire. Jack's warm embrace had the power to change around an entire day. Mark leaned back in his stiff taxi seat, wishing Jack could be there with him.

So take my hand, I'll always try to make you laugh.

Some days, when the pressure got to be too much, Jack could always count on Mark to crack a timeless joke. Sometimes, it didn't even matter what Mark said as long as he laughed as he said it. It would be too much for Jack either way and he'd lose himself in a fit of laughter, much as he was losing himself now in his boyfriend's soothing voice. His smile was accompanied by tears as he selected 'repeat one' and set the laptop on the nightstand beside the lamp. The first time through, and Jack's breathing had already slowed, leaving him hugging Mark's pillow as he sunk into the queen-sized bed. He didn't want to sniff, he didn't want to breathe, he just wanted to listen to the delicate, loving tones of Mark's singing voice. It gave him chills, and the lyrics only furthered his burning love for the multi-talented man he called his own. How could he be so lucky? How could he have never realized before just how beautiful the world could be?

I'll sing this lullaby while my hands rub down your back...

Silently tiptoeing into the living room, Mark smiled to himself. He could just barely make out the notes of his song playing from upstairs. He dropped his luggage and quietly made his way to their room. Jack was asleep, holding his pillow and smiling faintly. Climbing up next to him, Mark rubbed Jack's shoulders and began to sing along to his own voice. Jack stirred, trying to rouse himself from the deep sleep that he'd fallen into about an hour ago. The song restarted and Mark began to sing again, humming softly at some parts as he pulled the covers over himself and kicked off his shoes and pants. It was like a fairytale, one could only imagine the intensity of Mark's voice as he sang about his love. He was never afraid to show it in person, but there was something more to it as he used his singing to portray what Jack meant to him. He leaned over Jack, half spooning him and half kissing his cheek.

Just call my name, I'll sing this song and watch you dream.

"Mark," Jack murmured, turning into his lover's chest and grinning wider than he had in a long while.

"Hey, baby," Mark kissed his forehead and held him close, humming along with the music.

"You're here..."

"And you found my song."

"Y-yeah," he whispered, yawning deeply. Mark held him, and watched as he slowly started to drift off again. Finally, he was at peace. His heart settled, matching the soft, reassuring thud of Jack's. His hand stroked Jack's soft cheek, and he felt himself start to doze off as well, but managed to keep humming for another few minutes.

Well I don't have a heart.

Of course Jack was ecstatic to see his boyfriend, but he was also more tired than words could explain. He hadn't slept over three hours a night since Mark's departure last week. He wanted so badly to stay awake and revel at the touch of his loving boyfriend, but his eyelids refused to open, and Mark's gentle humming reverberated through his body, sending him deeper into a blissful dream-state. Finally, the world could move again, the sun could rise again, and Jack could function like the love-struck human that he was. In Mark's arms, he was okay. He was happy, he was entranced and delighted- all the things someone in love should be. The world was whole, the world was bright, and the world was theirs.

I gave it to you long ago.

Despite longing to see Jack's face, Mark couldn't stay alert. Not only was there the issue of jet lag, but also the extreme comfort that went hand in hand with the warming sensation Jack's presence provided. It was intense, and like a hearty dosage of NyQuil, knocked Mark right out. There's something special about holding your loved one. Something that cannot be put in words or lyrics, or even soft hums as you fall asleep. The only way to describe what Mark was feeling is just to say that it was everything. Nothing could shake him. Not an earthquake, a fire, a tornado, an apocalypse... Nothing. For he was whole in Jack's embrace.

I'm so in love with you, I just thought that you should know.