The drive back is quiet. Jacob rides shotgun. I stare out the windshield to avoid the sick feeling that is growing in my stomach.

"I didn't mean to take over your bed," I try to make conversation, to let that uncomfortable feeling slowly leak out of my stomach. "If you want to come home, I am more than happy to sleep on the couch."

"It's fine," Jacob says, too quickly. He sighs, and his head hits the seat rest.

"It'll be over soon," Embry reassures him. "We'll see Seth and-"

"The odds aren't in my favour," Jacob points out. "I've got a fifty-fifty shot."

I don't know what they are talking about, but the conversation trails away. I don't bother listening in anymore. My eyes are peeled but my ears might as well be turned off. I would turn them off entirely, but one of them might try to talk to me, and I don't want them to think I'm ignoring them. After all that they've done for me, I cannot be cruel to them.

When we roll back to the house there is one more car in the driveway than usual.

"Seems like they are here," Jacob points out.

Embry puts the car into park and gets out. He opens my door and offers me a hand, even though I'm mostly capable of getting out myself. Then, he turns his attention to Jacob and leads him into the house.

We go around to the backyard, where a fire crackles. It's getting dark out already, but not dark enough to see the stars. Quil rushes up to us and helps lead Jacob into his seat.

"I'm blind, not helpless," Jacob says, sitting down and shooing them away.

I stifle a giggle. I look at the other two across the campfire. There's a boy, who I assume is Seth, who smiles at me. He offers a polite wave.

"Hey, you must be Fawn," he says. "I'm Seth, and this is my sister, Leah."

His stare is pretty intense, so I nod but look away.

The girl looking at me, Leah, is frowning. Her eyes narrow in on me, eyeing me up. I suddenly feel self-conscious. She is wearing a jean jacket and pants, the only sensible one here. Even if the others aren't cold, they are going to get nipped by bugs.

"You mute as well as deaf?" Leah asks.

I flinch, "excuse me?"

"I'm just messing with you," she smiles, brushing me off. I do not join her in grinning. "Sit."

I obey her command, joining the others in sitting around the fire. The only open spot is between Embry and Seth, so I take it.

I notice Seth shaking his head at Embry.

"So, what brings you to town?" Leah asks. "Like, how'd you find out about La Push?"

It sounds crazy now, but I remember the day. I was in the public library, the first place to which I had escaped. My time was limited, but I needed a direction to go. South or East or West. Something. So, I looked up what I thought, at the time, made the most sense.

"Forks is the rainiest place in the continental USA," I answer.

Leah scoffs. "Yeah, but I wouldn't call that a perk."

"I like the rain," Seth points out. "It's growing on me. I just hate being wet."

"A little bit contradictory, don't you think?" Quil laughs, patting Seth on the back. Leah simply frowns, crossing her arms over her chest.

I feel like I could mesh with these people if I really tried. Maybe not Leah, but you cannot win people over who seem as contrarian as her. Still, I cannot help but want to try. The only one who seems to like me less than Leah is the person who has loaned me their bed.

Embry takes the opportunity to whisper something to Jacob. Jacob's face turns from a frown to a scowl. I do not envy Embry's position right now.

"We should play a drinking game," Quil says. "Maybe never have I ever? Get to know each other."

The others nod in agreement, except for Jacob, who folds his arms over his chest.

"Fawn, you drink beer?" Quil asks.

I nod my head, even though I never have.

Quil runs into the house.

"How old are you?" Seth asks.

"18," I lie, again. "You?"

"16," he answers. I'm not a good judge of age, but he seems to have both the face of a 14-year-old and the body of a 20-year-old. Regardless, I feel a little weird about providing alcohol to someone so young.

Then again, I'm 17. I feel much older than I am. Maybe he's been forced to grow up quickly.

"I'm 22, if anyone's counting," Leah says. "These other assholes are all 18. Like you."

If I had to guess, I'd assume Leah is the one providing the alcohol. She doesn't seem like the type to do any of these people favours. Maybe it's Sam who is doing that. As serious as he seems, it's likely.

"Did you finish high school then?" Seth asks.

"I graduated a year early," it's much easier to lie than I had imagined it would be. "I was homeschooled."

That much is true.

"Woah, really?" Seth asks. "That's crazy!"

I'm saved by Quil walking out. He hands all of us drinks, including me. I've never had a sip of beer before. I smell it and recoil.

"Got a soft stomach?" Leah asks, a smile on her face.

"Leah," Jacob snaps.

The fire crackles. I swear I can hear the howling of a wolf in the distance. It makes me sink into my chair. I take a swig of the beer, and though I'm sure I contort my face in all sorts of weird ways, I swallow. Seth leans over and high-fives me.

"You sure you're good?" Embry asks.

"She's fine," Quil brushes off his concerns.

He's right. The bottle is cold in my hand, but my chest is warm. I can do this. It isn't often I get to associate with people my age, and I want them to think I'm cool.

"Okay, I'll start then," Seth says. "Then we'll go clockwise, so you'll be last, Fawn." He clears his throat and thinks for a second. "Never have I ever gone skinny dipping."

Everyone but me drinks. Maybe this is not the time to start being honest. I can't bring myself to lie about my personality. Just, who I am.

"Never have I ever smoked a joint," Leah says.

Only Quil drinks.

Seth's mouth drops. "We're not supposed to smoke. Heck, we're barely supposed to drink."

"You've forgotten that for the past few years, it's been Jacob calling the shots," Quil rolls his eyes. "Never have I ever had a one-night stand."

Both Leah and Embry drink. I watch Jacob, expecting him to lift the bottle to his lips and take a swig, but he doesn't. It's surprising, mostly because I think he's more handsome than anyone else here.

It's Jacob's turn now. "Never have I ever seen Fawn."

"Man, that's bullshit," Quil says, but drinks anyway.

This time I drink. The cool drink sets my throat on fire. The opposite sensation is so thrilling that I keep chugging.

"Slow down," Embry says.

"Relax," Quil says as I put the bottle down. "She needs to catch up. She's barely been drinking."

I look around at the others, beginning to feel myself relaxing. Obviously. I stand out. These people have probably been friends since they were children. It's only because of their charity (only perhaps are their ulterior motives) am I here. I want to fit in however I possibly can.

"Never have I ever cheated on a test," Embry says.

Quil drinks again, "I feel like this is a targeted attack."

We've completed the circle, which means it is my turn. I can feel my heart thumping in my chest. What haven't I done?

"Never have I played never have I ever before," I tell them.

Everyone drinks.

It's Seth's turn. "Never have I ever kissed anyone."

Sam and I are the only ones who don't drink. He looks at me and tips his drink in my direction with pursed lips. I offer him the smallest of smiles, mostly to save myself from embarrassment.

"Never have I ever lied on a resume," Leah says, looking at me pointedly.

I drink. Nobody asks any questions, thankfully.

We keep going, and eventually, Quil stumbles inside to get us more beer. Then even more. Suddenly I am five beers deep and they are spilling their deepest secrets to each other.

"I met someone," Leah says. "Finally."

"What's his name?" Quil asks, leaning in closer.

"Hannah," Leah says. "I met her at the Indigenous centre at my community college."

Everyone nods.

"You got anyone?" Quil asks Seth.

Seth looks at Quil pointedly and shakes his head. "Not yet."

Jacob puts his head in his hands. He's a big guy, and he is only two beers deep, but maybe he's a lightweight. He's had the smallest amount to drink out of all of us here. Quil is sloshed. Embry is slurring his words and being louder than I've ever seen him. Seth's laugh rings loudly, and even Leah has lightened up. Jacob remains as sombre as ever.

"I've never really done anything," I admit. "I've been really sheltered."

"That means you get to do all sorts of new experiences with us!" Quil jokes. He looks over at the others. "Come on, we've got to take her cliff diving."

"Not happening," Jacob says.

Everyone quiets down like the oxygen has been all sucked up by the fire and everyone is going to choke. I feel a swat against my hand, as Seth slaps it.

"Mosquito," he answers.

I didn't even notice it. He's got fast reflexes.

"It's probably best if you idiots call it a night," Leah stands up, gesturing for Seth to join her. "We'll walk home."

"Isn't it dangerous?" I ask. I can hear myself slurring. "Aren't there bears?"

"I've got bear mace," Leah says.

She and Seth wave farewell. The two walk off. As Quil puts out the fire, Embry leads Jacob inside. I follow in after them. Embry sits Jacob down on the couch and then runs upstairs to pee. I mean, I get it. I've gone three times since we started drinking.

I sit down on the couch next to Jacob. He stiffens, breathing in deeply. I move away.

"It's just me," I say. "Fawn."

"I know who you are," he points out.

"Right," I say. "Sorry, I'm pretty drunk."

"I noticed," Jacob points out. His shoulders begin to relax with every breath he takes.

"It was embarrassing not having done anything, you know?" I tell him, admit, my guts spilling out of the open wound in my stomach. "I mean, you don't know. You had done most of the things."

"I couldn't tell what you had and hadn't done," Jacob points out. "It's a less entertaining game for me without narration."

I would relax, only I've just embarrassed myself all over again. In front of the cutest guy at the party too.

Quil comes inside. He races over to the couch and plops down between us. "I love you guys. Don't ever leave, Fawn. I mean, move to Forks because white chicks like you can't stay in La Push, but don't go too far."

"I'm not going anywhere," I tell him. "Literally. I'm going to sleep on the couch. I don't think I can ever move again."

The room is spinning around me. I can't see clearly. I wonder if this is what Jacob saw before he went blind, or if it was like a light shutting off. I wonder what he sees now. I would ask him if it weren't rude. I mean, I deal with it enough. Disabled people are each other's allies, more than anyone else.

Embry comes down with blankets. Quil gets up and helps Jacob stand.

"Are you sure I can have the room?" Jacob asks.

I nod and then vocalize. "Of course. I'll just need to get in there in the morning. As long as your okay with that."

Jacob nods, and then he and the other two boys head upstairs. It takes some maneuvering, but they get up there successfully. Then, I lie down and let sleep carry me away.

~~~~~

The plot thickens. I really like Fawn. I find her so sweet, so pure. I hope you enjoy her too!