~ Madison's POV ~

To: Santiago Hernández,

You found us.

You blew our warehouses up, for attention we assume?

We're sorry to hear that you found yourself in a little trouble after that little stunt of yours.

A stab wound, straight through the abdomen, thankfully it didn't do any permanent damage to any major organs but still, a major surgery was required. You ended up spending 35 days in hospital with that lovely little girlfriend of yours while your bestfriends continued working on your behalf.

Now you're back in your hotel suite reading this letter.

You're very much aware of Pedro who is after you - spoiler alert - it was his men who stabbed you.

However, there are two things that you're unaware of that we would like to bring to light for you, although there are more but we'll save that for when we do eventually come face to face.

1. There is someone else after you too.

Now we know what you're thinking - what the hell?

Right?

It's not Pedro, although he is after you too.

But, for now that is all we will give you on that matter, just watch your back.

2. There is someone who you shouldn't trust.

They may be close to you, they may not. You may already not trust them, you may trust them with your life.

All we're saying is watch who you confide in and watch who you spend your time with...who you let your loved ones spend their time with.

As for your stunt with our warehouses - the four explosions carried out on the night of the 1st of July before you were promptly rushed to hospital following a stab wound outside your hotel.

The repercussions of these explosions cost us 136 million dollars - give or take.

We would just like to let you know that if you haven't already realised what a stupid mistake you made, then maybe now is the time.

It was really rather stupid, but, we will explain why when we come face to face.

For now, watch your back Santiago Hernández - you're being attacked from the left, the right, behind and the front.

You can't trust anyone.

Yours truly,

El Dios Del Diablo.

I watched as Santiago read the letter that both Arturo and I had read with wide eyes.

It felt like hours could have passed before he eventually put the paper down and stood to his feet from the couch, slowly pacing around the room infront of us.

Judging by the look of horror also on Arturo's face, I assumed I was missing some very very valuable information.

"Who are they?"

At the sound of my question, Santiago turned to look at me with a frown on his face.

"Madison I don't think you should be here right now."

"No, don't even try that. I just spent over a month with you while you recovered from a stab wound off some Pedro guy, but you failed to tell me that you were off blowing up warehouses before that happened! You knowingly put yourself in danger!"

"Maddie-" When Arturo took a step towards me, clearly with the intention of stopping me from talking, I put my hand up, sending a glare in his direction too.

"Don't. I want an explanation Santiago, I was also mentioned on that letter, unless you have some other girlfriend that I don't know about?"

"No, of course I don't." He shook his head as he came over to me with a worried expression on his face. "But baby this is so complicated. There is so much you don't know...so much I want to protect you from."

"I don't care. I may love you Santiago, but if you're going to start blatantly keeping secrets from me before we even start a relationship then I don't want any part of it. I'm not a pushover."

When I said the last part a small smile tugged at his lips and he stopped in front of me, taking my hand in his.

"I know baby. But...damn....fine I'll tell you but at least let me take a shower first and then we'll sit with that idiot and I'll tell you everything about Pedro and the other cartel. Then afterwards, we can have our own conversation. Does that sound okay to you?"

Okay so I didn't expect him to give in so easily.

I was ready for a fight.

"Uh...yeah, okay." He nodded his head before tugging my hand, pulling me in the direction of his room, sending one last glance in Arturo's direction before we went inside.

"Why do you want to take a shower?" Closing the bedroom door behind myself, I followed Santiago into the bathroom watching as he grabbed a towel before turning to face me.

"I just want to feel fresh and get rid of that hospital feeling." Nodding my head in understanding, I glanced down at his clothes before I spoke.

"Shall I help you take them off?" He thought about it for a moment, looking at the clothes he was wearing before clearly reluctantly nodding his head.

He really did hate having people do things for him. Even though it was annoying at times like these, it was an admirable quality for someone to have.

He managed to take off his shirt himself, once again allowing me to drool at the sight of his perfectly sculpted, tattooed upper body.

"You're so cute Maddie." Pinching my cheek, he gave me a smirk causing me to slap his hand away from me before I untied the strings of his sweatpants.

His sweatpants were the thing he wouldn't be able to take off alone since he'd have to bend too much which would hurt his abdomen.

Santiago's smirk completely disappeared as I began to tug them off him, getting lower onto my knees as I pulled them down his legs, leaving him standing there in his boxers.

When I looked up at him, I definitely didn't expect to see the intense gaze he was giving me as he watched me get down on my knees infront of him.

It took me a moment to understand, but when I finally turned away coming face to face with his boxer covered area, I knew.

Almost instantly, images of the videos I'd watched and the articles that I'd read came to my mind. Yes, I Googled.

My eyes widened at my sudden change in thoughts and while trying to ignore the intense blush that rose up on my cheeks, I helped him take off his trainers and his socks then his sweatpants before I slowly stood to my feet, avoiding his gaze completely.

He could drop his boxers himself.

I felt his eyes on me as I gathered his other clothes in my arms looking anywhere else but him.

"Me...I...bed...I uh- I be in the...bedroom." Pointing towards the door, I quickly stumbled out of the room, closing the door behind me.

What the hell just happened?

As soon as the door was closed I leaned against the wall, letting out an almost inaudible groan, covering my face with my hand.

I'm such an idiot. A 25 year old idiot who can't handle being inches away from his area.

I managed to take the fifteen minutes that Santiago was in the bathroom to calm down, getting myself together again. Not that it really helped because as soon as I saw him again I just became a flustered mess all over again.

Finally, he came out of the bathroom with his towel tied around his waist without glancing in my direction as he went into the walk in closet.

Lying on the bed I was busy staring at the ceiling when I heard him call my name.

"Maddie?"

"Yeah?"

It fell silent for a moment before he let out a sigh and came back out still wearing his towel but this time with a T-shirt on.

"I need your help with..." My eyes widened a little when I saw him hold up his boxers and sweatpants.

You're a freaking nurse, what is the matter with you?

"Uh...y-yeah sure. Come here." I gestured for him to come and sit on the bed and when he did, I took his boxers from him and helped him to put his feet through before pulling them up high enough for him to able to finish the rest of himself without having to bend. Once he took the towel off he sat down on the bed again and I did the same thing with his sweatpants.

At least I didn't see anything otherwise...I would have no clue what would have happened.

"Thank you." I nodded my head as I stood up again, still not being able to bring myself to look him in the eye as I went over to the door, ready to head back into the living room.

"You coming?"

Turning back to face him for the first time, I watched as he stood up from the bed, coming over to me as he nodded. He placed his hand on my shoulder as he passed me, opening the door himself. For a second his movements in the doorway slowed before he turned back to send me a smirk.

As soon as I saw the smirk on his lips my eyes widened.

He knew.

He knew exactly what I was thinking about.

Even though he only acknowledged my little melt down with a smirk, it was enough to bring the heat back to my face all over again.

Without another word Santiago left the room leaving me an embarrassed mess all over again.

Somehow I managed to make my way into the living room, taking a seat far, far away from Santiago who was now busy talking to Arturo about something.

"Maddie?"

My eyes widened when I heard someone call my name and I looked up to see both of them staring at me. Arturo was looking at me with a frown while Santiago was watching me with a straight face although anyone could tell he was amused at the situation.

If he thinks he getting any kind of sexual favours after this behaviour of his, he's so wrong.

Or maybe right, I don't know.

"Y-yeah?"

"Are you okay? You seem a little..."

"No, I'm good Arturo. So anyway, you can start the story now, I'm listening."

I gestured at the two of them to start speaking causing them to look between one another.

"Maddie there's some parts of the story that I want to tell you on my own, but I guess we'll just start with when I met Arturo and then we'll explain everything that happened with my father, Pedro and now El Dios Del Diablo."

I nodded my head as Santiago spoke, any traces of amusement from the previous moments now all forgotten.

"Wait, first can you tell me who El Dos De..."

When I attempted to try and say their name, both of them smiled before Arturo stepped in to help.

"El Dios Del Diablo. It means The Devils God. They're a Mexican cartel which no one ever believed to exist since they were rumoured to be too powerful beyond belief. Of course Santiago has a power to manage to piss off even non existent people so now they do exist for the sole purpose of getting revenge on him."

"Okay that's not true and that's not what freaking happened. You were the one who told me they existed and they found me before I even knew about them." He directed them second half of his sentence towards me before he continued.

"But we'll get to them in a minute. Anyway, so when I was 19 I took over my father's gang which I'll explain in more depth to you later. That was just a normal street gang and I absolutely hated it. So, when I met Arturo when I was out on a drugs run, he actually tried to kill me."

"I was tired out after I found this cute brunette in an alleyway twenty minutes before, otherwise I would have definitely succeeded."

My eyes widened at Arturo's blunt words but he didn't even seem to mind what he just said and weirdly, neither did Santiago.

"Screw you, no you wouldn't have. Anyway, once we were done fighting and we got talking he was the one who gave me this idea that I should work my way up to the top and not settle for anything less. So, we thought about it and the quickest way to do that was to kill our way to the top."

"Kill your way to the top?" Santiago nodded in response to my question before he explained.

"Yeah, so that meant instead of waiting years to move up through the hierarchy, I would just kill whoever was above me and take their place, so to speak."

"That's a very simple explanation though. Each hit took a lot of planning especially the part when Santiago had to take the guys position. Usually we would pay off the rest of their gang or cartel but if they were extremely loyal to their leader that we had just killed, then we killed them too."

Neither of them seemed to have any problem with talking about death so easily whereas I was just sitting there, completely shocked.

"Okay...well carry on then."

"Right so, we did this for a few years until we got to the only last guy at the top, Pedro. Our thought was that once I kill him and take his cartel, I would be at the top. But, this idiot hasn't been able to do it for ages."

"How many times have I freaking told you? I'm trying but he's too powerful-"

"Guys, just carry on with the story, you can argue after." They both looked over at me before eventually nodding their heads.

"Anyway. Now Pedro knows we've been trying to kill him so he's just returning the favour. As you saw in the letter he was the one who tried to have me stabbed and killed."

"So that's it?" Once again he nodded his head. "Yeah, either I kill him first or he kills me. And before get all worried about that, let me just finish the story because there is so much more we need to talk about after this."

My eyes widened a little when he held up a hand to stop me from complaining about the fact he could still be killed at any moment.

"So, thats Pedro. Now El Dios Del Diablo. A couple of days before your father's funeral, Arturo showed up to the house during the night and told me that someone had been messing with our business in Mexico and then he told me he thought it was them. I didn't believe him at first but then I guess it all started making sense when we started looking into it over the next few days."

Santiago let out a sigh as he looked at me before looking away, taking a moment before he finally spoke.

"All these years they've let me believe that I was at the top - that I was running Mexico and maybe some parts of South America. But, I wasn't. They've been at the top all this time."

"Is that why you were acting so weird before you left for your trip?" Santiago nodded his head confirming my thoughts.

That's why he was hardly speaking to me.

"I thought I did something to upset you."

"No baby you didn't. It was just the reality check I got, I guess you could call it. All these years I was thinking I was at the top of the game; the most powerful cartel leader in America but...I'm not."

I nodded my head as I listened to him and the next words that came out of my mouth seemed to surprise everyone in the room, including me.

"So take them out. Get yourself on top and prove to them that you can do it."

Santiago smiled when he heard what I said, looking at me with adoration in his eyes.

I guess he didn't think I would ever encourage him to do that. But the truth is, as much as I hate his occupation, I would never want him to feel inferior to someone, even if they were some Mexican group of men full of testosterone.

"That was the plan, which is why I blew up their warehouses. Someone we met told me the best way to get their attention was to screw with their drugs. So I did, but then Pedro sent out a hit on me and I got stabbed not even half an hour after we blew them up."

"And that's it? Nothing else happened while he was in hospital?" This time I turned to face Arturo who shook his head pursing his lips before he spoke.

"Nope, apart from our usual business everything else went silent - there was nothing from Pedro or El Dios Del Diablo."

I nodded my head, letting out a sigh as I processed everything they just told me.

The worst part of it all was that this was just the beginning. Santiago and I had a lot more to talk about, no doubt there would be shouting and a lot of tears probably mostly from my side since I've never really seen Santiago cry before.

Actually, I don't think I ever have seen him cry. He didn't even cry when the twins were born.

He was never someone who liked to show any emotions that could make him appear weak or vulnerable.

Santiago seemed like he was thinking of whether there was anything else for them to tell me together before he turned his attention to his bestfriend.

"Well, we're gonna go to our room now, so just, I don't know get lost or something."

Our room. Aw.

Arturo glanced between the two of us with a knowing look before smirking.

"Sure. Don't worry, I'm gonna go find a girl to get laid tonight, it's been too long." He let out a sigh as he shook his head before standing to his feet.

"Try not to scream the place down Maddie."

"It's just a talk, we're not gonna start screaming at each other."

When I said this they both looked over at me with amused expressions before Arturo let out a laugh, patting my head when he passed me on his way to the door.

"That's not what I meant."

Oh.

Cue the blush.

Finally once he left, Santiago and I went into our bedroom and I took a seat on the bed while he just sat on the couch by the window.

It fell silent for a moment and suddenly the nerves kicked in.

After eight years, I was finally going to get the answers I'd been waiting for.

And I had no clue if I was even ready for this conversation yet.

He would finally explain why he left me not once, but twice and why he never came back when he heard about my failed suicide attempt.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have this talk.

"So... where do we start?"

"Can we not...can we not start? Santi I don't know if I'm ready for this, I don't want anything to change between us."

Sensing my panic, he gave me an encouraging smile while shaking his head.

"Don't worry baby. If you want to stop we will, but there is so much I need you to know. I need to apologise for leaving you Maddie but I can only do that once I've told you what really happened."

I could tell from his expression that he was intent on telling me tonight, so, I just nodded my head and leaned back against the headboard.

"Start from the beginning. You came to see me on my birthday, and then just stopped replying to my texts after that."

When I said this, I couldn't stop the unintended resentment that crept into my tone, causing him to look away from me.

"I was turning 19 a few weeks after that, remember?" I nodded my head waiting for him to continue.

"My father decided that it was the right time for me to take over his gang. So, you knew my parents argued and that I didn't exactly have the best relationship with them growing up but...what you didn't know is that my dad had been preparing me to take over his gang when I turned 13."

"What do you mean 'preparing you'?"

"On my 13th birthday he told me everything about his gang and what they did. He told me I would become exactly like him - a drug lord as he called himself. He told me that when he was done with me I would be able to kill someone without blinking, rape a woman with no remorse because that's their purpose in life - to serve men."

Santiago leaned back into the couch as his mind drifted back to the memories.

"He started beating me and whipping me every night. Some days he wouldn't do it, if my back was too sore from the night before, but most of the time he would. He was just careful not to leave any permanent marks. He did that for 5 years straight."

My eyes widened at the revelation and in my mind I was trying to think back to those years, trying to find any ideas of when I could have spotted the signs of what was going on at his house every night.

"That day when they were arguing and we hid in your room...you were relieved when your dad left but I never understood what was going through your head."

"I was scared he would try to hurt me in front of you."

"Santi, why didn't you tell me?" When I said this he let out a scoff.

"What good would it have done? You were 12 when it started Maddie. Anyway, I didn't want to talk about it. Whenever I was with you I could just forget what was going on at home - you were my safe haven."

The emotions in his eyes told me that he really did mean what he was saying.

"Anyway. To cut the story short, I killed someone for the first time when I was 16. That's when my anger issues started, I'm sure you remember that?"

I nodded my head, thinking back to the times when he started swearing a lot more and just losing his temper a lot quicker then usual.

"He forced me to pull the trigger and I did it. I did everything he told me to, but the only time I didn't listen was when he told me to..."

He lifted his eyes away from the floor to look at me when his sentence trailed off.

"To what?"

"To rape you."

The room fell silent as I just stared at him in complete shock.

I did not expect that.

"He told me if I could do it to you, then I would never have a weakness, because I would have conquered you. It still doesn't make any sense to me now but, when I refused he beat me so freaking bad. I think you were at your grandparents house or something for the week so you never saw how bad the injuries were."

"You took a beating that bad for me?" When I said this, a frown formed on his face. "Of course I would. I would never hurt you Maddie, I would kill myself before I did anything like that to you or to anyone."

Once again it fell silent as I just processed what he'd told me.

His father must have hated me a lot to try and teach his own son to rape me.

"So that week you left to see your grandparents, we'd just graduated highschool and he decided he wanted to 'retire' and spend time enjoying the fruits of his labour. So he pretty much forced me to move to LA where the gang was mostly based. I did try to argue as much as I could but it didn't work. Whenever I mentioned you, he told me if I went you would be protected but... if I stayed you would get hurt. I guess that was another threat from his side, so...I left."

"To protect me?"

He nodded his head making eye contact with me again.

"I never wanted to leave you baby. But I just...the thought of you getting hurt, it killed me. Ever since I left, I started having nightmares about you getting killed in front of me. They're almost always different scenarios but at the end you hated me for bringing you into my life, and then you died blaming me."

I was surprised I hadn't started crying by now but somehow I was holding it together - maybe it was the shock of everything he was saying to me.

Or maybe it was because I knew the worst was yet to come.

"Do you still get them?" In response to my question he shook his head, giving me a soft smile.

"Not when you're sleeping next to me. They started when I first left Santa Ana and when the urge to come back was the highest, it was like it was my mind telling me to leave you alone. They stopped after a year I think and then, when we slept together they started again because then I knew where you were living. It would have been so easy for me to get to you. Eventually they slowed down again, then we had the twins and they started up again. Just like a cycle, whenever I was close to you they would start like a warning or something."

"Why didn't you just tell me?" He flashed me a small smile shaking his head when I asked this.

"I couldn't do that. After each nightmare I would wake up sweating, thinking about you. Then I would remember that any day that nightmare could become a reality if I brought you back into my life."

It fell silent for a moment after he said this. I did want to ask him to come and sit with me for the rest of the conversation but as soon as I thought of my next question, I changed my mind.

"I forgive you for leaving the first time Santi but...I don't know if I can forgive you for leaving me a second time."

As soon as he realised I was talking about the night we slept together, his expression darkened considerably.

"Madison..."

Instead of leaning against the headboard anymore, I sat up properly moving to the edge of the bed.

"You left me again Santiago. You didn't say a word to me at the club or in my apartment, you slept with me and then you left like I meant nothing to you."

I knew I was allowing my emotions to get the better of me, but I honestly didn't care.

I was an emotional mess after he left me, he had to account for that.

"I was trying to protect you."

"Bullshit. If you wanted to protect me you would have walked away from me at the club or you would have told me everything that night and then left, knowing I at least knew why you broke my heart again."

Although my second suggestion sounded good to me, he just rolled his eyes.

"How could I do that? It isn't something I can just blurt out Madison, I only tell those that I trust and..."

His eyes widened a little when he realised what he was saying but I didn't give him the chance to backtrack.

"And you didn't trust me?"

"That's not what I was going to say." Letting out a frustrated sigh he shook his head before standing to his feet.

"I didn't want to leave you Maddie. It took every ounce of strength that I had to get out of your bed and leave before you woke up."

"Why didn't you just stay? Why didn't you just wait until I woke up and then kiss me again? You just made me feel like I meant nothing to you."

"You mean everything to me Madison." I watched as he slowly came over to where I was sitting, dropping down to his knees in front of me.

"I didn't sleep that night, I just lay there next to you watching you sleep, wishing I could be in your life, wishing that I wouldn't be the reason you could get hurt. I couldn't even believe I was blessed enough to get to see you one more time in my screwed up life."

He took my hand in his, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear that had fallen from my eyes at the thought of him leaving me all those years ago.

"I'm so sorry baby. I never wanted to hurt you. I screwed up, I know but I just panicked."

"So you left to protect me, but then why did you even sleep with me in the first place?" Once again he wiped my tears away, giving me a soft smile.

"Because you're so damn beautiful."

"I'm still mad at you Santi." He nodded his head, leaning up to kiss my cheek.

"I know babe, I know. But I swear if you can just give me a chance to be with you, then I promise I'll never hurt you again."

I really wanted to give in and everything inside me was telling me to stop there and say okay, but I couldn't.

Because it didn't matter if he'd apologised for leaving me, an apology would never make up for him not coming back when I needed him.

Suddenly coming back to my senses, I remembered the main reason why I hated him so much for the last eight years and especially over the last four years.

"No."

"No?"

Shaking my head, I ignored his frown as I let go of his hand it away from me.

"This was a mistake Santiago. We shouldn't have kissed, I shouldn't have told you I love you. I should have gone home, I sho-"

"Madison, slow down. What the hell are you talking about?"

"Leave me alone Santiago." Ignoring the hurt expression on his face I pushed him away from me before standing to my feet while he did the same.

Just as I made a move to walk away from him, his hand wrapped around my wrist to stop me.

"Don't. If you're going to say something like that, freaking explain it to me before you walk away."

"Let go of me."

"Madison what the hell just happened? I apologised for leaving you, why would you get so angry all of a sudden?"

I held eye contact with him for a moment before I shook my head, trying to yank my wrist out of his grip which only tightened in response.

"Madison."

"Stop! Let me go Santiago, I mean it."

Of course he didn't and instead just pulled me in closer to him.

"Whatever is going on in that little head of yours, just talk to me. Tell me Maddie, that's the whole damn point of this conversation."

"It doesn't matter what you have to say because I'll never forgive you." Finally I was able to pull my hand out of his grip, only because he became so confused by my words that I caught him off guard.

"Forgive me for what baby? Haven't I already apologised for leaving you both times? I mean, I know was a jerk to you after but-"

"Not that Santiago. You know what I'm talking about, Noah and Nicolas told you."

Once again he just stared at me with a frown, which increased when I mentioned his friends.

"Told me what?"

Is he really trying to act clueless right now?

I let out a scoff at this.

"Maddie what is it? I swear, after I left Santa Ana the only time I spoke about you was when I told Arturo about you. No one told me anything."

"If you're really saying that to me then you're a liar."

This time when I tried to walk to the door, I was suddenly pulled backwards and within seconds I was pushed up against the wall.

And Santiago no longer looked confused or concerned, he just looked angry.

"I'm not going to tell you again Madison, tell me what you're talking about."

Feeling my own anger flare, before I could even stop myself, the words flew right out of my mouth.

"You knew I tried to kill myself because of you and you never came back!"

Heh 👀

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