Rising higher and higher, the sensation of loosing herself grew as her stomach twisted and knotted itself with a flurry of regret and something very much like anticipation.

The tight training clothes felt suffocating, restricting in its hold on her as she felt like the glass walls of the elevator were beginning to close in. Alone, Terra couldn't shake the sight of haunting blood that dripped down the walls and pooled at her feet.

She was escaping everyone else, going up to her hopefully empty floor to hide from everyone and everything until the next time she needed to go to training. Training that now had much more meaning at the fact that she was responsible for keeping others alive when she didn't even know if she could save herself.

Terra scratched at her head, wanting to tug down her hair from where it was pilled up. Her head was pounding, the lights burning her eyes, and she just wanted to hit something repeatedly. Katniss was ruining everything, destroying the carefully build card house that was her sanity and crumbling it with a wild fire of an emotional rollercoaster.

Protecting Finnick was her one true goal, her one true wish in life, but now the tributes of district 12 were to rely on her without even knowing. And Lux, poor Lux was washed into her whirlwind or chaos and was stuck dealing with the same horrible mess that she was because of some real star crossed lover affair that she had found herself in.

These games were a mess and all that stupid little Katniss had to do was be compliant and follow the rules for just a short amount of time without angering anyone. Instead she had to go and get everyone virtually killed because she couldn't part with a boy she didn't even love.

She released and angry shriek, lashing out she slammed a fist into glass. It did little other than hurt her hand but it felt good, better than expected and she could already imagine the purple and blues that would bloom across her skin in splotches that were some of the most intimate patterns.

When the doors finally opened, she stormed in like a woman possessed. Lux could deal with the people downstairs - he had always been the more approachable one. Terra startled the Avox in the corner as she snarled and tore apart a throw pillow that was resting on the low couch, unsure if it was rage fueled strength or the product of years and years of manual labour in her district.

A plan. She needed a plan and one that would fit the idea that everyone had of her. They all expected to see something like the little girl that had killed out of an angry will to survive. A girl that wanted nothing more than to cause pain to those that tried to hurt her. This time they would all expect her unpredictable ability to defend herself, to know that she would hunt down her enemies.

Terra would, hunt down her enemies that is. She would search out all those that stood in the way of her task.

The career pack would be a great start, for show. They would expect her to go for them and to steer clear of her friends. Then she would go for all those that Haymitch told her did not agree with the protection of the precious mockingjay.

It would be necessary that her weapons of choice be available for her, a hammer and whip that she could grab in the beginning tussle. Her and Lux would need to join together quickly to tear their way through to the cornucopia, for sure they wouldn't get what they wanted if they went in alone. Together they would be protected, could watch each other's back.

A shaking hand reach into her line of sight and pulled her from her thoughts. The tiny Avox girl before her held out a green drink concoction that smelled fruity and looked to be a freshly made smoothie.

Terra smiled kindly, accepting the beverage and squeezing the girl's hand in a clear thanks that she wouldn't be allowed to voice. The girl nodded, dipping her head to hide her smiled, before slipping off into a side room.

Alone again Terra noted that she had been sitting in the same place long enough for the sun to begin setting and decided to just take her drink and head to sleep early.

The bed was so large and glaringly empty that Terra wished she could successfully slip down to the fourth floor and cuddle in with Finnick for the night, if only for a night. She imagined that it would be the last chance she had and she wondered if such a thing was even possible.

Downing the drink, she jumped from the bed and burrowed herself in the selection of clothes she had, throwing on a pair of basic nightwear and tugging insistently on her hair until it came to cascade around her shoulders and sway against her back. She looked fine, she knew, but she still fussed in the mirror over the way it looked. Tributes were stuck wearing the most basic outfits that were disgustingly all the same. Terra had been spoiled as a Victor, the clothes she wore now were so completely unflattering.

Shaking her head and turning away from the mirror before she backed out, Terra darted from the room and through the front rooms alike to the elevator. Wilber and Lux barely glanced up from their food, both digging into cuts from meat she knew came special from their district, while Azolla gaped after her - sputtering and choking on her drink.

"Terra!" Azolla shrieked, her seat falling back as she stood.

She froze, hand ghosting over her arm. Eyes blowing wide, a timid smile, and Terra was facing the woman with the innocent appearance that she had learned to perfect so many years ago.

"I was going downstairs for a little while," she said, foot pressing into the ground as she slowly angled herself to continue running. "I'll be right back."

Azolla's heels clicked against the floor as she came towards her, the noise stopping once she hit the carpeted floor and Terra stilled completely.

Hands reached and tugged at her shirt, straightening it out with a mother's touch. Agile fingers worked through her hair, easing free tangles and repositioning it around her face.

"You know you're really not allowed to leave at nights," the escort whispered before she gently pushed Terra back so she was stumbling in the direction of the elevator. "But I believe you Tributes need a little bit of freedom and motivation, don't you?"

Breath hitching in her throat, heart leaping in excitement, lips twitching into a smile, Terra was quick to spin on her toes and practically skip to the elevator - waving happily to them as the door closed and she jabbed at the button for the fourth floor.

It didn't take long, the momentary woosh in her stomach at the descent feeling oddly like the familiar pound of her heart when she knew she would see him.

Stepping out into the open lounge without hastle was much easier than expected and the spots of blue and the faint scent of sea salt made all her anxieties wash away as though by the touch of waves.

Closing her as and breathing deeply, Terra felt like she was sitting at home among her precious things and little gifts, like she was already within Finnick's reach, like he was just around the corner from her reach.

He was somewhere around here, she knew, and Terra wondered if she should just sneak into his room or riak getting caught as she had no idea if he even had an escort with him this time around.

The ding of the elevator was loud enough to have given her away from the beginning and she was certain that they were aware that someone was here.

Heart beating fast, she tiptoed softly through the level that had the same design as her own, bare feet making the softest of taps against the cool floor or sinking into plush carpet. She crept forward, sticking to the wall as she made for the dining room where she could still here the clatter and murmur of dinner.

She could smell fish cooked in all different fashions, and when she finally spotted the table she discovered it to be of all different types as well including thosr she had no idea existed.

Leaning against the the simple partition between the rooms, Terra found herself within full view, dark strands of wavy hair fell around her face and passed her shoulder in a way that she used to curtain herself if only slightly.

Dark hair and blue-green eyes were nothing compared to the golden boy that sat at the center of the table tearing a piece of fish apart with his fingers. Exposed skin, shirtless once again, she could see the hints of white line scars that stood out against perfect tan and muscled core. Finnick was all dimply smiles and pearly whites with charming hair that curled at the top.

He was gesturing around, Mags across from him silent as ever and Annie tucked close to the elder woman's side. They hadn't noticed her, it seemed, or perhaps it was the escort that had gone to see who arrived, and Terra felt horrible for even attempting to interrupt the setting of happiness.

She tuck hair behind her ear and turned to leave, slinking in the direction of the elevator once again. She pressed the call button, waiting for it to arrive with a sigh.

Arms wrapped around her middle, her heart leaping in her throat and every muscle in her body screamed for her to lash out - attack the person holding her so tight and so suddenly as the flashes of memories from 6 years ago assaulted her person.

Blood everywhere, sunburned and chocking, aching hands and burning muscles stuck around a rusty knife and large rock. Matted hair and desert caked skin with dead people at the other end of her touch, sucking and stealing away what shouldn't belong to her.

"Terra!" High pitched voice, a shriek of happiness in her ear echoed through the mind landscape and Terra had to steel herself to keep her twitching muscles from reaching out behind her.

She knew this person, she tried to remind herself, only a few moments ago she was in the district four suite. Terra knew these people, her mind whispered into the hot sand, the burns on her hands spreading over her skin rapidly and could only be seen through the tears in her suit.

So much desert, so much sand and hot sun that she could feel only on her. Sticky with sweat and blood, and she couldn't tell what was her's and what wasn't.

Shaking, shaking hard at her shoulders and gentle calls of her name - the pain was lovely, a singing over her skin that called and trickled like a soothing drip of water.

As her vision began to clear and her mind was no longer foggy, Terra could see the outline of someone standing before her, gentle and smooth.

Red hair swayed in at the side of her vision, smooth hands continued to grace her face, and Terra relaxed, embarrassment flooding her as she realised how much she had overreacted for something so little. She looked up, blinking heavy lashes as she took in Mags before her - the elder woman smiling sweetly at her. Pinching at the skin of her hands and sucking a harsh breath, Terra glanced around her quickly.

Annie was at her side, fiddling with her fingers in the way she was prone to doing with those baby doll eyes of hers.

"Hi, Annie," she whispered, sending the girl surging forward and into a hug that Terra was much more prepared for. "How are you?"

"Oh Terra, I've missed you so much!" Tight squeeze, voice cracking through the words, Terra returned Annie's hug with the same amount of emotion.

She glanced over her shoulder, shaking loose the curtain of hair from her vision. "Hello Mags."

The woman smiled kindly, reaching forward with shaking hands to grip Terra's shoulder.

Behind her was Finnick, pouting through his smile that was so hars and different from how he usually smiled at her. The spark in his eyes remained ever present but his attitude had shifted.

"Surprise?" Terra said uncertainly.

Annie burst into giggles and Terra looked to the girl still attached to her with her heart beating hard.

This were her important people, some of her dearest friends and she would do nearly anything to keep them safe and happy. They were undeserving of this, of the murder trial that awaited them in the arena.

"I'm so happy to see you! Oh, T! This is so nice!" Annie sang, resting her head on Terra's shoulder - grinning ear from ear.

"Yes, what a wonderful surprise, Land Pearl," Finnick smoothed, coming up to her side and easing Annie from her.

Hand grazed over her hand, inching closer until it slid together to lock in place. Callus over callus as he guided her to the dining room.

"Have you eaten?" Finnick asked.

"Uh, an avox gave me something before I left . . . "

"Great," he grinned and for a moment he reminded her of a predatory animal and her the prey.

He began to lead her through to the rooms, calling out a few things over his shoulder. She stumbled behind him, confused as she waved to the people behind her.

It was the same format as her own, the large, low bed and the wide wall window. It was in shades of blue and the theme was set to the ocean view she longed for so often at home.

"Aren't you going to finish eating?" Terra asked, dancing away from him and seating herself at the edge of his bed.

"Completely full, thanks, land pearl, what I'd really love to do is address what jsut happened over there." Finnick sat beside her, stretching out on the bed.

"I'd rather not discuss it at all," she quipped, laying back to gaze at the ceiling to avoid his imploring eyes.

"Terra, all she did was touch you and you freaked out," he remarked, leaning over her. He was so serious, so concerned, worried, that Terra wanted to cave and let him have anything he wished from her. "That seems like something really important that needs to be discussed."

"I don't want to talk about it, Finn, can you just drop it?"

"T, how do you plan to go back in if you get startled over a simple touch?"

Terra felt a wave of heat wash through her, a flush of something she didn't want to identify, and she pushed it back. "It was an accident, I slipped Finnick. We can't all portray the idea of being perfectly fine all the time."

"I'm just worried, so worried for you, my heart, and what you plan to happen while inside. My dearest heart, you expect it to be fine with only you and Lux, I'm so worried for you," he breathed, a hand coming up to caress her cheek. 

"I can protect myself, Finn, you don't need to worry about me or Lux. I have a plan to make sure that you remain safe," Terra whispered.

Finnick shook his head. "I don't need you to protect me. I just want you to try and win."

"I would never be welcomed back home, they'd probably start a mob," she joked tensely. "I'll just be happy knowing you're fine, Finn. Promise me you'll try and be safe no matter what."

"My heart - "

Terra placed a finger to his lips. "Promise me Finnick."

He looked at her then, softly, lovingly. "I promise, Terra."

♦♦♦

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2018-04-25