Chapter 20

Used

At kung kailan naman tingin ko na natanggap na ni Bianca si Kalyx... Doon pa siya muling magagalit na naman kay Kalyx nang dahil lang din sa akin...

I had nowhere to run to but my friends. I didn't tell them yet about my pregnancy, but I told Bianca and Kassie about me and Kalyx...

"So, are you saying, Rina, that you and Kalyx aren't really in a relationship?" Bianca asked me.

And I looked at her. Pagkatapos ay unti-unti akong umiling sa kaniya.

I'm now here in Kassie's house. I called both of them to talk...

Dahil pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko na kayang mag-isa ito...

At pinayagan naman ako ni Mommy na mag-overnight sa bahay nina Kassie. She also knows Kassie's Dad.

"Can you please explain, Rina? What have gotten into you..." Nasapo na lang ni Bianca ang noo niya.

Nakikita kong siya ang nahihirapan dahil sa sitwasyon na pinasok ko...

And when I turned to Kassie she's also just as worried as Bianca for me.

Now I regret I even came here and talk to them. Sana ay hindi ko na dinadamay pa ang mga kaibigan ko sa sarili kong problema...

"They just pretended to be together, Bianca..." Kassie said, looking at me.

From Kassie, Bianca turned to me again. "For what, Rin?"

"At first... it's for Ethan... Para iwasan na niya ako... And he would just focus on Janine..." Nagyuko ako ng ulo pagkatapos magsabi.

"Tsk! And Kalyx agreed?"

"They both agreed to it, Bianca..." Kassie said.

Bianca heaved a sigh.

"Now I can't help it but to think that he only used you for Sarah..." Bianca said, at mukha rin siyang naiinis na kay Kalyx...

"I think, Rina also used him for Ethan and Janine..."

Pareho kami ni Bianca na bumaling kay Kassie. She's right, tho...

Kassie then sighed. "I just mean that, alam nila pareho ni Kalyx ang pinapasok nila, Bianca..." She said.

Unti-unti naman akong tumango sa sinabi ni Kassie...

"Still! That asshole still used Rina!" si Bianca na ayaw pa rin magpaawat.

"And you agreed, Rin? Right?"

Tumango akong muli sa sinabi ni Kassie. "I was aware..." I said.

"But why do you have to go to that length, Rina? Just because of Ethan and Janine?"

Tumingin lang ako kay Bianca.

"But, then, Rin... Just the last time you were already planning on introducing Kalyx to your Mom, right?"

Tumango naman ako kay Kassie.

"But what happened?" She asked me.

"You saw them together, like what you said earlier?" Tiningnan ako ni Bianca.

Unti-unti naman akong tumango sa sinabi niya.

Bianca let out a heavy sigh again. "Why of all people, you even made a deal with the devil..."

"Wait, Bianx. Let's ask Rina first." Bumaling sa akin si Kassie. "If I'm not wrong, nagkakamabutihan na kayo ni Kalyx? Even if you started it on just a deal to have a pretend relationship, am I right?"

Unti-unti akong tumango sa tanong ni Kassie.

She sighed a bit. "But then now you saw the two of them together and you think that they might go back to each other?"

"Ano pa nga ba, Kassie? I didn't really trust that Kalyx Sevilla, if it's just not for Rina." Bianca said.

Bumaling naman si Kassie sa kaniya. "Relax, Bianx. We're trying to be of help to Rina here..."

"I already warned you about him before, didn't I, Rin?" Bianca asked me instead who seemed to not listen to Kassie that much...

Nagyuko naman muli ako ng ulo.

My friends already warned me about Kalyx and Sarah... especially Bianca. She told me about Kalyx's past with Sarah. That she was Kalyx's ex-girlfriend. But I didn't listen to them...

In the end it's my fault why I ended up this way...

Umiling ako sa mga kaibigan ko.

"I think it's my fault... because I let myself fall for him..." I honestly said.

Tiningnan ko ang mga kaibigan ko, and I saw Bianca just looking at me seriously. While Kassie covered her lips after hearing my confession.

"Does Kalyx know about this, Rin? Does he know about your feelings for him..."

Umiling ako kay Kassie. "Just like you said, Kassie... I was aware what we were... I agreed on being his pretend girlfriend... Pero ako itong tinotoo iyon..." I bit my trembling lips. And I feel like crying again. Hindi pa ako napagod sa kakaiyak ko sa kwarto ko sa nakalipas na gabi.

Umiling naman si Kassie sa akin at hinawakan niya ang kamay ko. "I think... you should talk to him first, Rin."

Nagkatinginan kami ni Kassie, and she gave me an encouraging look.

While Bianca shook her head. "What is there to talk, Kassie? May tinawala ka ba talaga sa lalaking 'yon?"

Tumingin si Kassie kay Bianca. "If it's for Rina, Bianca. Then I would be willing to listen to Kalyx. Nakita naman natin silang dalawa, 'di ba? Especially during Kalyx's birthday outing. They were both having fun, him and Rina."

Umiling lang naman si Bianca sa sinabi ni Kassie.

"You love him, right, Rina? Then at least talk to him... I think you don't just give up without putting a fight..." Kassie told me.

Nakita ko naman na umismid si Bianca kay Kassie. "Really now, huh? Coming from you, Kassandra? Do you not want Rina to be a coward of her feelings, but then, how about you?"

Mukhang naiinis naman na bumaling si Kassie kay Bianca. "Do you really have a problem with me, Bianca?" She asked her.

Bihira ko lang silang makita na magtalo noon pa man. In our group, the two of them were like best friends...

"Please, don't fight... You two..." I stopped them. At may problema ba si Kassandra?

Tiningnan ko siya pero umiling lang naman siya sa 'kin. "Don't mind us. We're okay. Just focus on your own problems, okay, Rin?" Kassie gave me a reassuring smile.

Kalaunan ay nakita kong mukhang okay naman talaga sila ni Bianca at nagkasagutan lang nang konti kanina.

"Thank you... that I can talk to you both about this..." I told them.

And they both looked at me gently.

"Nandito lang din naman kami, Rin. You should've talked to us even from the very beginning, you know? Hindi mo naman kailangan palaging sarilinin na lang ang mga dinadala mo, Rin... Let us carry some of your loads, too... As your friends, right?" Ngumiti sa akin si Kassie.

And then Bianca also agreed to what she said. "Kassandra's right, Rina. We're just here for you, too."

"And we're glad that you talked to us today, Rin." Kassie smiled.

At ngumiti na rin ako sa dalawang kaibigan ko.

Sometimes because we worry so much that we would just burden our friends or the people around us if ever we're to share our problems with them, so we tend to just keep everything to ourselves...

But I realized today that I've somehow forgotten about my friends... That I still have friends to talk to and share about even just my thoughts and feelings...

I realized that I don't always have to keep it all to myself.