Chapter 11

Friendship

At nakausap ko na rin si Ethan pagkatapos ni Janine.

I have to be honest to Ethan, too. Especially if this was the last. So that we could all properly move on after this.

"It's true that I wasn't yet ready back in high school that's why I said no to you when you confessed your feelings to me then..." I said.

I actually asked him to meet me. Dahil gusto ko rin talaga siyang makausap tungkol kay Janine.

"But the recent one..." He said.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa.

And then I sighed before I finally told him, too. "It's because of Janine..."

His eyes widened a fraction as he looked at me and heard what I said.

Muli akong nagbuntong-hininga.

"May gusto na sa 'yo si Janine noon pa mang mga bata pa lang tayo... And she only ever looked at you, Ethan." I told him.

And he remained looking at me and just listening. So I continued.

"I'm sorry, Ethan... If I have hurt your feelings." I also apologized to him. Because being rejected after having the courage to tell someone how you feel must have hurt, too...

I looked at him in the eyes. "Pareho kayo ni Janine na mahalaga sa akin. At pareho ko kayong mga kaibigan. And maybe I chose our friendship over your feelings..."

Nakatingin kami sa isa't isa.

"And I'm sorry, but... I did not regret it, Ethan... I regret that I hurt you... But I think I will regret it more kung nasira ang pagkakaibigan nating tatlo ni Janine..." I said.

Nakatingin lang sa akin si Ethan pagkatapos ng mga sinabi ko. And then I saw him slowly nodding his head...

Tipid akong napangiti. Mas gumaan na rin ngayon ang pakiramdam ko pagkatapos ko silang makausap pareho ni Janine. Janine may not be a perfect friend, but sometimes people just tend to put themselves first... And she just put her feelings for Ethan first...

I'm not just simply validating her feelings and what she did. S'yempre ay nasaktan din ako. But I think it's not wrong to put yourself first, too...

And then I realized that I didn't just put Ethan or Janine first, rather I just knew my priorities even back then... At alam ko na mas mahalaga ang pagkakaibigan naming tatlo that I won't risk ruining it just because I would choose Ethan... No, I just simply chose friendship over love... Kasi sa pagkakataon na iyon ay mas naging mahalaga at mabigat sa akin ang kagustuhan kong maging kaibigan ko pa rin silang dalawa...

I did liked Ethan. And maybe I did loved him, too... Back when we were young. And he was the closest guy to me. Maybe when it was just the two of us, maybe I could've given him a chance... But I also don't wish to lose Janine in any way... Dahil sa totoo lang ay pareho ko lang naman silang dalawa na mahal.

I looked at Ethan in the eyes again. "I love both you and Janine, Ethan. We grew up together. And our memories since we were young are all precious to me. And you will remain like that to me. Kayong dalawa ni Janine. I only have one wish, and that's for our friendship to stay..."

"And, Ethan,"

Tumingin naman siya s akin.

"If you will marry Janine please don't hurt her. She loves you very much..."

"She's important to me, too..." He quietly said.

I guess any person can be important to someone. We can like the people we care about. And maybe we can also learn to love them in the end...

I've also met Kalyx's friends. Nakita ko na rin sila dati na kasama ni Kalyx noon sa bar nang gabi na magkita kami at muntikan pa nga silang awayin din noon ni Bianca.

At nakikita ko rin sila sa university lalo na at dahil palagi rin silang nakakasama ni Kalyx.

I laughed together with them when they said a joke. Tumingin ako kay Kalyx at nakita kong nakatingin na rin siya habang tumawa ako. I stopped my chuckle and I smiled at him instead. At nakita kong unti-unti rin siyang ngumiti sa akin...

And when his friends saw that they only teased us.

Umiling na lang ako.

Nilapitan na rin ako nina Bianca sa university isang araw. And they asked me about Janine and Ethan. At ngumiti lang naman ako sa kanilang dalawa ni Bianca at Kassie.

"Okay na kami..." sabi ko.

"You've talked to Janine and Ethan?" Bianca asked.

Tumango naman ako. "Yes... And I told them how I feel already..."

"Really, Rin? What did you say to them? What did Janine and Ethan said..." Kassie asked.

Tumingin ako sa kaniya at sumagot. "Janine loves Ethan... At tingin ko ay espesyal din naman si Janine kay Ethan..." I said.

Bianca sighed. "Well, he should be serious sa pagyaya niya ng kasal kay Janine." She said.

Sumagot din naman si Kassie sa sinabi ni Bianca. "I think Ethan also have realized it by now..."

"How about you, Rin?"

Tumingin ako kay Bianca nang tanungin niya ako. "Me?"

Tumango sila ni Kassie sa akin. "Yes, you."

And Kassie also sighed. "Alam naman namin na mapagbigay ka rin... But, really, how do you feel about this?" She looked at me worriedly.

While I just gave my friends a reassuringly smile. "I'm fine... I already chose what's more important to me." I said. And that's my friendship to both Ethan and Janine.

At sa totoo lang din, ay naisip ko na rin na baka hindi lang si Janine ang masaktan ko if ever I gave Ethan a chance, dahil baka si Ethan din...

"Well, I guess you have had feelings for Ethan too, Rina. Especially when we were in high school... But you've also realized that it wasn't enough to ruin your friendship, right?" Ngumiti sa akin si Kassie.

At napangiti rin akong tumango sa kaniya. "Yes..."

Nakita kong napangiti na rin sa amin ni Kassie si Bianca.

"I'm glad, Rin... But, what about Kalyx? Are you really dating that guy?"

Nakita ko na umiling na si Kassie kay Bianca. "Give it up, Bianx. Bakit ba parang ayaw na ayaw mo kay Kalyx? Mukhang okay naman siya, ah. 'Di ba, Rin?" Ngumiti sa akin si Kassie.

Habang nakaramdam naman ako ng hiya na unti-unting tumango...

Nakita kong lalo pang ngumiti sa akin si Kassie.

While Bianca sighed. "Fine..."

Tumingin ako kay Bianca. "He's not really that bad, Bianca..." I said to her.

At nakita kong tumango na rin siya sa akin. "Okay. I think I'll give him a chance, too... But! It's only because of you and you're my friend, Rina!" She said a bit sounding defensive.

Napangiti na lang naman ako sa kaibigan ko. "Thanks, Bianca..."

And she just sighed again.

"And maybe, Rina,"

Muli kaming bumaling kay Kassie nang may sabihin din muli siya. She looked at me. "Maybe someone also made you realize about your feelings... That what you felt for Ethan back then doesn't compare to what you're feeling to this person now..." She said.

Bahagya naman nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa sinabi ni Kassie.

"And this person is?"

Bumaling si Kassie sa tanong ni Bianca. And then they both looked at me.

And my face heated in embarrassment as I could only think of one person, too...

And why do I think of him now...

Kassie smiled while Bianca heaved a sigh.