Clint's POV

The scratches on my stomach burn and sting with each step I take as I head to the already-too-far couch where the others are scattered around the tv playing...is that Nemo? I frown and allow a small smile to spread over my cheeks with a shake of my head as Thor gasps every now and again, voicing questions like "so the midguardian fish are caught in a net, separated from their families?". I crouch on a stool to look over Tony's head, thankful he's between Thor and Steve cause where else would he sit otherwise?

The scratches sting slightly at his position but he's been hurt so many times before, why are self-inflicted wounds any different? Though I'm continuously aware of them and every now and again press down to inflame the pain one more time, though it's never just one more it's always one more, then 2 then 3 and soon someone notices though they don't make it obvious so I think I get away. What I didn't know was that Tony had asked JARVIS to keep track of me.

After the movie the sting of the scratches had faded and I grab the nail clippers in my hand, planning to use the nail cleaner like I did last time but Tony calls me down to his lab and since it would look suspicious if I don't go, I follow until he sits down in front of his hologram-projector-computer thing and tells JARVIS to assess my injuries. I frown and then widen my eyes in panic "sir agent Barton-"call me Clint" that did nothing to phase the AI "Clint, has sustained many skin deep scratches on his stomach, it seems to have been done with a dull but thin object, shall I scan for what he may have used?"

Curse you JARVIS "assuming he carries it with him, yes do the scan and inform me while I speak to Clint" Tony supplies and my eye purposefully twitches as I cross my arms, blocking the access to my stomach. Tony sighs and waits patiently "sir he has many knives on his person" "no you scanned scratches with a blunt object not lacerations" "there is also a nail clipper in his pocket which has a nail file and cleaner, that could be a potential match" they keep going as if I'm not here.

Tony's eyes flick to my pocket and sticks out his hand, I act confused but he sees through the act "the nail clipper clint" Tony says sternly, I've been caught, pride or risk letting the rest find out. I decide immediately and hand the object to Tony who flicks open the top and takes the nail file out, looking up at me and laying it on the desk "JARVIS please give us some privacy, lock the others in the room if you must" Tony orders as I start to fidget.

Tony turns to me once again and sighs, asking the one thing I can't answer "why?" BECAUSE I LET MYSELF BE CONTROLLED BY LOKI, BECAUSE I KILLED FELLOW AGENTS, BECAUSE I KILLED COULSON...because I turned out to be exactly like Barney and my dad and even the Swordsman but I don't say any of that they have to think I'm fine, they have to "Clint I know you don't want to answer but please, I'm trying to help" yeah you are SO helping Tony. I stare at him blankly, not allowing myself to show any emotion and Tony leans back in his chair "JARVIS lock the door until Clint answers" 

I growl slightly as the door closes and a audible click sounds through the room "fine ok, I'm dealing with guilt, I once made a promise to myself not to be like the people in  my past but Loki made me do that" I growl out, still looking him directly in the eyes. Tony seems shocked by my admission and the click from the door is satisfying as I rush to my room, perching on my closet as Tony rushes in  yelling falsely "DAMMIT CLINT GIVE IT BACK" before closing the door.

I sit there and watch as he sighs and talks to the darkness "you know I used to cut, back when I was a teenager...it was stressful and I gave in, I still have small urges every now and again and I guess you're trying to sate them without a blade but what I can tell you is that it becomes a problem, it does hurt you it does hurt and it sends you into a mission injured. I cant say that you'll stop but I can tell you that I'll be there every step of the way, helping you. YOu don't have to see a therapist, nor am I making you tell anybody else but I'm asking you to turn to me instead of pain. We may not be that close but we could be. Please" 

That's all Tony says before he closes the door and leaves. Clint sits in the shadows, shocked and slightly touched for a few minutes before clambering off and heading to Tony's lab just in time to hear "JARVIS give Clint unrestricted access to my lab" and Clint smiles at the thought. SOmeone understands.