Selene sat back and watched.

She watched every move everyone at the table made. She watched Thaumaturge Bement slide the proposed terms that Winter had wrote up across the table. She watched Konn Torin descend deeper and deeper into a distrust he didn't think anyone could see as he read what Selene was proposing. She watched Thaumaturge Burke as he recited the powers on Luna that Kai would receive as King Consort should he accept Selene's marriage proposal. She watched Kai.

She didn't need to sense his bioelectricity to know how he was feeling. She could see the definition on his face, and she knew he was already resolute on accepting. She couldn't even tell if he was listening to what Burke said or not, about how according to Lunar tradition, he would be left practically powerless. He knew that already.

It scared Selene. She'd taken this too far. She'd touched him a little bit too much, led him along a little farther down the road than he needed to be. She struggled to see herself at the altar with him. She struggled to see herself in a wedding dress. She would have to kiss Kai! She would- she would be-

Selene didn't want to imagine it. The image of Kai's face, so lit up with that look he had when he saw her, popped up into her mind too often. She kept pushing it out, but it was getting harder. This alliance was all she could think about nowadays. She didn't know if it was stress, or that little voice that chewed at the back of her head and at her heart all the time nowadays, but she could hardly sleep anymore without thinking of him, about all that she did to harm him, deceive him.

You're the monster, Selene.

Selene shuddered.

This was the last course of business for today's meeting, and Selene couldn't have been happier. A coronation date had been set, right before the Peace Ball, and Selene's blood was already draining at the thought of it. It was approaching so rapidly. A week, and Kai would be emperor.

She felt like this was supposed to make her happy, the way she had the soon-to-be emperor firmly under her thumb. Nobody suspected a thing of Luna's plans. Everything was going blissfully perfect in Selene's grand game of chess.

Except, item one. Selene was supposed to be marrying Rikan, a wise old man who knew exactly what he was doing and exactly what he was getting himself into. Rikan had weighed the odds, the facts. He knew what he needed to do, and he knew the consequences. Selene still wasn't prepared to have to marry Kai. Too naïve, too innocent. Kai believed he liked her, and he didn't even know who she was. At least Rikan wouldn't have deluded himself, tried to understand Selene, for all that he was an old man with a son older than her.

And then item two. Selene couldn't deny the overwhelming guilt that flooded her lungs every time she though about Kai. She could hardly breathe. She could hardly look at him anymore without some god's hands wringing out her heart onto the floor and turning her brain into jelly. How was she supposed to marry him when every inch of her being told her to get away, get away, don't let him find out? How was she supposed to keep from him, once they were married, that it was all her fault both of his parents were dead and half of his country was infected with letumosis?

It had been so much easier when Selene had been the eye looking down on the chessboard, before she had come down and mingled with the pawns she was supposed to be sacrificing. These pawns had real emotions, families, tears, and so many of them were already dead.

Selene couldn't back out now. She knew that. But every part of her screamed to be let away, to be let alone somewhere deep and dark where she wouldn't have to feel this guilt. This pain, this horrible pain, any longer. Her entire body felt numb.

Fifteen minutes later, Selene was buried under her bedcovers and hoping that no one would ever find her. She wanted to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes she saw blood and murder.