"Doctor," Selene started, her voice already rising dangerously fast, "can't you work faster?"

Dr. Darnel shook his head quickly, almost panicked by the edge in Selene's voice. "I'm so sorry, your Majesty, but our doctors and lab technicians are already working as fast as we can. We've drawn the blood from shells- er, the non-gifted, and are in the midst of the procedure of processing the ingredients. I'm so sorry, your Majesty."

"Don't apologise to me!" screamed Selene before she could help herself, stepping back from the netscreen and burying her hands in her freshly curled hair. "Apologise to the teenage prince who you're orphaning by not working fast enough! Apologise to those Earthen masses!"

"Your Majesty, we're working as fast as we can-"

"Yes! I realise that!" Selene shouted, closing her eyes. "I also realise that it's not your fault and it's my fault for not sending down the antidotes earlier anyway, but please let me have this!"

"Er, uh, yes, your Majesty-"

"Whatever you do, doctor, just get the antidotes completed in time. I'm begging you." Selene started to calm down, settling shakily into one of the rolling chairs in the conference room. "The emperor's life is one that we must save. The casualties of this war have spread far enough, without involving the innocent leader of billions whose people need him now more than ever. Dismissed."

Selene swiveled in the chair, massaging her temples and thanking God that Winter wasn't just in there to see that outburst, but the netscreen didn't click off. "Do you need something else, Dr. Darnel?"

"Er- yes, if you don't mind, your Majesty," Darnel started nervously. Selene swiveled back around to face his image on the screen.

"I know this may not be the best time, but I just wanted to thank you-er, that is, express severe gratitude-" He babbled and stuttered, avoiding Selene's gaze through the screen.

"Spit it out, please, doctor, time is of the essence here," Selene called impatiently.

Darnel nodded nervously. "Your Majesty, I've been wanting to thank you so much since you liberated the shells. I- you see, my daughter, Crescent Moon was born ungifted. You're kind of her role model, and under Queen Channary's rule she would never have been returned to me."

Selene raised her head from her fingers a little bit, her brow knitting unwittingly. "Just you?"

Darnel shifted. "My wife- well, she left me once Cress was returned to us. She didn't want to have a shell for a daughter."

"Oh. I'm sorry, doctor."

She was sorry.

Stars above. Selene was actually sorry.

"Thank you, your Majesty." Darnel bowed, his hands clasped. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"No, wait, don't go, doctor," Selene said suddenly, possessed by a inexplicable impulse, grabbing the arms of her chair. "You don't need to apologise. You never wasted my time." She hesitated. "You know, it's stories like that that keep me going as queen. You don't know what it means to me to know that the things I've done have actually helped people and families like yours."

That was true, and Selene felt it in her heart. But when had she started feeling like that? When she liberated the shells, she was only looking for the admiration of all her people. Shells were citizens too, so she needed their love for her conquest. Best way to do that? Grant them rights and keep them safe. But now she realised that though it hadn't been her intention, it wasn't just selfishness that had compelled her to do it.

"Thank you, your Majesty," Darnel said quietly, bowing again. "It-it means a lot to hear you say that."

"Hey, Dr. Darnel?" Selene said suddenly. "When I get back up there, I'll see what I can do about arranging a meeting with you and your daughter."

Darnel opened his mouth, closed it again, blushed and stuttered, trying to say something or thank her. The words never came out. Instead, he just bowed, so low and deep. It wasn't a thank you, or a polite gesture. Darnel was genuinely touched.

Selene smiles to herself. "Doctor, it also might be best if you didn't tell anyone about that outburst of mine."

Darnel nodded giddily, said, "I understand, your Majesty," and clicked off.

Selene sat in silence for a very long time. She didn't know whether to be proud of herself or not. She was touched at Darnel's story. But something lingered at the back of her head, a creeping concern. What right did she have to be proud that she'd helped someone when her motivations had been impure? What right did she have to be the role model of a girl that was probably hardly any younger than herself? All she'd done was murder. Murder by doing nothing.

Selene felt like a broken record player, screeching back and back around to the same subscripts. Something was wrong with her. She couldn't feel anything without guilt. Every moment of her life was filled with the question of what might've been, had she not ignored the Earthen plight. The plight that her mother had created.

Her mother.

Selene drew in a long, shaky breath, sucked it up for the first time in a while, and went to visit Kai.