There are places in our life we term as special; where we feel certain happiness and warmth which can’t be found anywhere else. All her life Inara had called Rehman Residence that special place of hers but this was changing after getting married. Hassan House was slowly adding to the small list of places close to Inara’s heart.
Nahyan’s being posted in Islamabad had many advantages. Both her Nanu’s place and Hassan House were just few minutes’ drive away and Inara never felt this thankful. She could visit any of these places whenever she wanted to. And when Nahyan was not home, Inara wanted to do just that.
“It’s been a month but doesn’t feel like it.”
Feeha commented making herself comfortable on the couch. Inara who was sitting close to the kids smiled.
“I mean it was almost the same with Shafaq and we always thought that was because she had come from the same setup like us, a joint family of sorts but I hadn’t thought you’d get familiarize with the way gatherings work in this house this quickly. I love it.”
“Exactly. It Feels like Inara was always meant to be around us.”
Shafaq shouted from the kitchen where she was making snacks for the three of them. Inara could just shake her head at their joy. Shafaq and Feeha had made her their pal in no time and the solitude lover Inara had felt all her defenses going down the drain when she was with them. Both of them had a knack of making everything fun and Inara was a mere human. Every human likes to have fun.
“You guys need to tone this down.”
“Tone what down?”
“Your excitement on having me around.”
“Now, Inara this is how you celebrate being promoted to a trio.”
A trio. Inara liked the sound of it. She gestured Rooba to come to her who seemed to be agitated all this while. Her journal was clutched in her hand.
“You want to say something, Rooba?”
Inara asked eyeing the girl worriedly. Rooba wasn’t an expressive kid. For a year Inara taught her had told her this. These days Inara was off work. She didn’t want to resign but Zoha had insisted on it saying work after marriage was going to be difficult to manage and when Inara pointed out they hadn’t suggested anything like that to Afaaf, Zoha’s answer was a simple shrug with the all too familiar look which clearly told Inara she wasn’t Afaaf.
Which meant her job wasn’t important enough to linger on. This notion of Zoha had hurt Inara but also had put a fear in her heart. She knew she’d have to go on a leave but what if Nahyan didn’t want her to rejoin the school job? This had prevented her from broaching this topic in front of him. Everything was going so good both with Nahyan and his family. She didn’t want to have any problem this early. This wasn’t the right way of handling it but Inara didn’t know any other way.
“Today, Miss. Saima asked us to write something about any of our inspirations. It could be anything or anyone that motivates us to be the person we want to be.”
Inara didn’t say anything. She couldn’t say anything.
“I wrote about you because you are the first person who saw me the way I’m, an aspiring content writer. I owe you so much. Had you been not supportive of my journal entries, I would’ve never gotten the courage to show them to my family. It’s a plus point that they are also very accepting towards the career choice I’m going to make but you gave me the initial confidence and that was everything. So thank you, Inara Ma…I mean Bhabhi.”
She smiled shyly and had taken her seatback with her siblings. Her journal was in Inara’s hand. Her eyes were stumbling on the words written in the language of love and respect.
“You really are doing something great, you know.”
Feeha’s voice had taken Inara out of the spell of Rooba’s words.
“I mean Rooba is one kid you’ve given the courage to follow the path of their dreams but there can be so many like her in the future. The world needs more teachers like you, Inara. I don’t know when you’re going back to your job and where but I hope you do it soon because this,”
She pointed towards where Rooba was sitting.
“It’s not what everyone can do.”
Shafaq nodded along adding weight to Feeha’s speech. Inara’s hold on the journal had tightened. She wanted to go back to her job and the courage she couldn’t find the last few days. Here it was.

*

From the day they had moved to their house together, Nahyan never had to have his evening tea alone. It was like a habit which they both never mentioned about but was the first of their married life. Having tea together, talking about the happenings of the day and then reminiscing of something from the past, sharing it with the other and getting to know each other a little better. Nahyan always looked forward to the evening tea now.
But something was different today. He could tell. Inara was nervous and she definitely had something to say. As they both put their empty cups in the tray, Nahyan folded his arms on his chest looking at Inara.
“So, are you going to tell me or this is where I start taking my guesses?”
Inara sighed. She kind of knew Nahyan was going to ask this only but she was prepared. She’d have to tell him what she had in mind for her career.
“I was thinking of rejoining the school.”
Nahyan raised an eyebrow.
“But you resigned from there didn’t you?”
“I can always go back. It wasn’t a government job anyway and the principal had told me they’d welcome me back with open arms.”
Nahyan put his finger on his chin as if deep in thoughts.
“Why? All of a sudden I mean?”
“Because this is what I do for a living and…”
“Wait, Inara, wait.”
He leaned forward so that they both were facing each other.
“Don’t you think in this setting having a regular job is going to be tough? My posting is in initial phase and there will be a lot of shifting to different districts. You are going to exhaust yourself. Moreover, if it’s about money, then I think I’m earning enough for the both of us.”
He looked on expectantly at her. This was the point where she’d be told to shut it and do as she was expected out to be by him but his approach wasn’t hostile, neither was he assertive in anyway. He wanted to have a discussion over this, saying his piece, listening to hers.
“Agreed but Nahyan, I’ve given years of my life to this degree, and I love what comes with it. I love being around young minds and telling them a thing or two about life which will stay there on the back of their minds. I understand the state of your job but I think we can work this out. A bit of effort from my part and I promise you, it won’t affect our home life at all. As far as money is concerned, I know that I have all the liberty of using your money but Nahyan, I’ve kind of grown used to the idea of spending on myself by my own ways. It has a sense of responsibility to it, the idea that I’m not being a burden on anyone. You have this liberty in your life, can’t I get that too? Just to feel a bit productive?”
Nahyan Hassan knew his wife was good with words but she was also very good at putting across her point without offending the other person, especially when that person was listening with a receptive mind.
He hadn’t been offended in fact her words had him thinking on a new line. She was right, if he’d talk about himself, after giving years of his life to his studies on the basis of which he had grabbed this job and then all of a sudden being told that he should sit at home without using any of it, he’d feel bad too. Maybe more than she was letting on. And it was a fundamental right of every human to have their own money without being dependable on anyone. How could he be this narrow minded?
“Thank you.”
Inara was waiting for anything but not this. A thank you?”
“What?”
“I said thank you for voicing it out without letting it on that how narrow minded I was sounding just a few minutes back. You can do whatever you want to do, Inara. I’ll support you in any way I could.”
That’s it?
Inara’s brow had scrunched. That was it? Weren’t they going to start arguing? This was the point no? Where they would start bellowing at each other, she had seen arguments becoming showdowns just like that.
“Aren’t we going to fight?”
She blurted. Nahyan was taken aback and then he chuckled.
“And why would we do that?”
“Because…because…”
For someone to who had just voiced out her thought so eloquently, she was finding it hard to say it to him. Nahyan was noticing every nuance of her expressions. It was making sense to him and still it was not easy to comprehend.
“Come here.”
He pulled her close to him by her arm but she had surprised him. The next thing he knew she was clung to his side hiding her face in the crook of his neck. It was unexpected but welcoming. And Nahyan welcomed it with open arms.

*

There first argument or lack thereof had uncoiled something within Inara. Something she was sure Nahyan was also feeling. He had proven her notion wrong that husband and wife can’t talk about an issue without an argument. The thing started from that first discussion on Inara’s joining the school again and now this was their norm. They both had a mindset strikingly different from each other but never would they let it turn into an argument. Heated discussion? Sure. Both being unconvinced by the other’s thought process, yes. But at the end they both had always tried understanding what the other person was going on about and that made it all workable in the best way possible.
They had started with working on having an understanding between each other. Understanding which should always be the sole point of a relationship. Rest can always follow. Love, care and other necessities. And somewhere they were slowly making a mark as well.
It was a regular Friday and since the weekend was upon them, Inara had decided that she’d make the dinner on her own. Rest of the days the house help was there to do the task. Evening tea was Inara’s responsibility because Nahyan would drink it only if it was made by her.
So now, after going through several options regarding what to cook, messing up the recipes and calling out Nasreen auntie for help and still managing to burn her palm, there was Inara, satisfied and so happy because Nahyan couldn’t stop praising the food. It was an effort well paid and having their tea after on the terrace had made it ten times better.
The terrace of this house was pretty well kept. A swing was rusting to a corner under the shade. Inara had gotten it changed into a sofa swing just a week back and now it was the perfect place to sit enjoying rains in monsoon and or getting the warmth of the sunshine in the winters.
Inara was retelling a funny incident from the school. She had joined just few days back and Nahyan could only say it had brought such a positive change. She truly loved her job. Her love for the kids and their antics would often made Nahyan laugh or lost in her infectious smile.
“And then he goes like, Ma’am! The marks were just my fate how can I fight that? Can you believe how clever these kids are?”
She shook her head laughing lightly.
“You really enjoy being there don’t you?”
She was surprised by his question but nodded.
“I do. I really do.”
“Were you always this enthusiastic about Literature?”
“Always. My Nano was linguistics lecturer back in her time so it also kind of gave me a direction towards my goals.”
“And your parents were okay with this choice of subjects? Like parents usually pick their children’s career and being English lit. major grad isn’t something they think of.”
He was right. As always.
“They never accepted it. I was not only leaning towards a choice of career line which parents don’t usually like because let’s be honest here how much a teacher can earn specially working in private sector. But there was another factor here as well, I was rejecting the carved path my family has for its new generation, being competent enough to sit in CSS exam and passing it with top notched marks as well. I wasn’t cut out for it.”
“That’s totally understandable but having a career in civil services is kind of an achievement many would love to get.”
Inara smiled. He was being defensive.
“Nahyan, you’re the first person from your family who’s landed himself in the PAS. What prompted you to do that? Any role model?”
He shook his head.
“The privilege that comes with this job no?”
“Yes.”
He sounded sheepish but he was truthful. Inara could give him that.
“The privilege was your goal. Mine was making a mark in my students’ mind through my words. Both are different. Both are completely normal. And both are right in their own way.”
Nahyan had once again admitted his wife was such a pro at this stuff. Making him question what he had always believed in and then making him update his views as well.
“I can’t say much about the other privileges but if I hadn’t gotten a job in the PSA I wouldn’t have gone to meet Adeem and Mr. Sukhera that night and surely I would’ve never seen you.”
Inara rested her head on his chest. Her fingers were busy playing with the buttons of his shirt.
“You were visiting a coworker’s house. You know sisters are off limits in such circumstances.”
“In my defense I didn’t know you were Adeem’s sister that time and I wasn’t being a perv.”
“Nah, you were just wondering who this crazy woman was.”
“More like who this swan was. Told you, that was the first thought that had occurred to me.”
Inara smiled snuggling more into him. He wasn’t perfect. Nor was she. But both were pretty perfect together and that she liked the most.
“What happened to your palm?”
Nahyan’s question had turned her focus towards her hand which he was holding right now.
“I kind of struggled with cooking today. You can say it is a proof of that.”
Nahyan traced the burn and his brows formed a scowl when she hissed softly. He got up the next moment taking her along.
“Nahyan what…”
“You aren’t entering the damn kitchen ever again! We have Nasreen Aapa for that. Do tell her what should be prepared! And now tell me do we have any ointment in the first aid box?”
Inara was staring at his shoulders as they descended the stairs. All the while Nahyan was continuously talking about how she had almost burnt her whole palm. He was blowing it out of proportion.
And Inara Nahyan who had never gotten someone’s undivided attention like this before unless she was in a conference hall, reveled into it. Loved it. Cherished it.

*

The news of Shafaq’s pregnancy had the whole Hassan clan beaming with happiness. Nahyan was at work and Inara had just gotten back from school when she had got the call of Fariha whom Inara now called Ammi just like Nahyan.
The news had felt like it was her own happiness. Till the time Nahyan’s car had gotten into the patio, Inara had barely restrained herself from going to Hassan House where all of the family must be gathered. He was in a good mood as the news had already reached him through Feeha’s call.
“You PSA officers have no sense of familial occasions! Now get freshen up we are leaving for Dado Ghar! Feeha has just called me. They all are there.”
Nahyan was enjoying her giddiness to the fullest. From the time of sitting inside the car and then stopping at her favourite bakery to pack some of everyone’s favourite sweets and deserts, Nahyan was trying his best to not lose himself in the picture she was making. How genuine her sentiments were. This woman had been so deprived of love all her life that she had given it all when she got to know that she also had people whom she could call hers.
Hassan House was giving another vibe of happiness today. Once Inara had lost inside as they entered the lawn, Nahyan couldn’t find her alone after that.
She had gotten where she belonged.
And Nahyan was glad he and his family belonged to her as well.

*

Inara folded the sweaters and piled them in the suitcase. Next came the shirts and the socks. She did those as well all the while trying to not feel the void already.
Nahyan was going on a two week trip to Chitral where some administrational work needed the help of someone from the capital and his department had chosen him to oversee the progress. This was unexpected and Inara was so used to their routine in the last few months that she was already dreading staying in this house without him.
Nahyan was eyeing her every movement with keen expressions. She had started doing his packing without even asking for once and Nahyan knew that was her way of keeping herself occupied.
“Inara!”
He called to which she merely gave him a look.
“Come here.”
Dropping the muffler in her hand, Inara sat down on the couch close to him.
“It’s just the matter of two weeks. I’ll be back in no time.”
“The roads aren’t good there. I was just worried about that.”
Cute.
“So many people visit every day. I can say it won’t be that bad.”
She nodded when he shifted to the side making both of them comfortable. Forgetting the packing she had immediately eased like it was only what she wanted in that moment.
“Just take care of yourself in my absence okay? You can go and live at Sukhera house if you want to.”
Inara shook her head.
“I’ll go to Dado Ghar.”
Nahyan should’ve seen this coming. He smiled resting his chis on her head while she was comfortably playing with the neckline of his sweater.
“Don’t. Or else you’ll be so busy with everyone you won’t even miss me.”
Inara looked up. Her eyes were saying the unsaid. Nahyan had read it because they didn’t know how but they were in that phase of their relation were words weren’t necessary.
They were going to miss each other.

*
It had been a week since Nahyan was gone. His calls were regular though. As regular as the connection his rest house could provide. Inara had come to Hassan House the next day of Nahyan’s departure to Chitral. Coming here had lessened the impact of his absence. She was feeling it tangibly like she did the first night after he was gone.
But there were other things which awaited her. She was in the middle of a game of Ludo with the young party and Feeha when she was called into Dado’s room where Nadir had just gone to after coming to meet his mother.
“Asslam Alaikum, Baba. You called me?”
Inara greeted standing there confused. She could tell something was wrong.
“Wa Alaikum Asslam, Inara beta, Take a seat.”
Inara did as she was told. It was Dado who had started speaking then.
“Your mother called today. Afaaf…”
Inara felt her heart lurched. What happened to Afaaf?
“Afaaf has filed for a divorce from her husband. She’s right now staying at your father’s house. Your mother wants you to come there for a few days.”
Inara was numb. Afaaf? Filed for a divorce from Yawar? Why? How? The guilt of not checking up on the family she had left behind all these months started gnawing her from within. But she could still make the amends by being at their side during this tough ordeal.
“You should pack your stuff. Numair would drop you. As much as we want to reach out but this is the matter of a daughter so it will not look good on our part. But you try your best to stand by your sister, hun?”
Dado explained it to her like the wise elder that she was. Inara nodded slowly. Coming to the room she was staying at, she first called Nahyan to tell him about the change of the plans. He was as shocked as her to know this and asked her to be there as soon as she could.
When Inara crossed the threshold of the Sukhera House, it was colder than ever. Walking into the main hall, she found her parents and Adeem sitting around a lost Afaaf.
Inara stood there in the background like always. No one would pay attention it was Afaaf who was hurt and when it came to Afaaf, Inara often become a side character.
Only this didn’t happen this time around. Afaaf was the first one to spot her. And following her line of vision everyone else also did.
A devastated daughter was sitting on the couch while a daughter with every sign of a happy married life was standing in the door. Wijdan and Zoha hugged Inara with the warmth she had never felt all these years of her life. Adeem was the same, a bit solemn but that was the given, all this while Afaaf was just eyeing Inara.
And she hated whatever she was seeing.

*

“They had problems since the beginning of their marriage but we never knew the intensity of it. Afaaf’s post which was plus point for her in laws became the reason for her and Yawar’s torn relation. The thing with desi men, they love to marry an ambitious and career oriented woman but the moment her routine and work start getting in between, they lose their shit. Same happened here. Yawar and Afaaf are from different department of civil services so it was all the more difficult for them to connect to each other’s routine and take time out. One thing lead to another and here we are.”
Zoha briefed Inara on what was happening. Nano and Nanu were also here. Zoha wanted anyone of them to make Afaaf see sense which was kind of a task at this point. She had contacted a lawyer and filed for divorce all on her own.
“Inara!”
Her mother took her hand in hers.
“We all have tried. Your father, Adeem, your Nanu and Nano and I. Afaaf is hell bent upon ending it all when this is fixable. I want you to talk to her.”
“Mama…”
“I know you both didn’t have the ideal relation as sisters but you’re also married. Try to make her see sense.”
Inara wanted to make it clear to her that her and Nahyan’s relation had grown out of that phase. And even when they were in it, they never let any useless argument ruin their relation for them. But Inara didn’t know Afaaf’s version of the events. Maybe she did have it that bad that she turned to the option of divorce.
Without promising her mother anything, Inara got up and came to the lounge where Afaaf was sitting looking at nothing in particular through the sliding doors.
“Afaaf?”
“Yeah, I was waiting for you only. Come sit and listen to my sob story.”
Inara sighed deeply. Some things can never change.
“That’s not what…”
“Oh, cut the crap, Inara! That’s why you are here. To know how it feels to see Afaaf in a place which was always yours! The place only you deserved but now is mine. You’ve come here to laugh in my face right.”
She had gotten up from the couch and was now right in front of a shocked Inara.
“Laugh! See I’ve become you! A loser!”
“Afaaf..!”
“Oh, not this clueless crap! Why aren’t you admitting it? You’re enjoying this! For the first time in life you have everything and I have nothing! This must make you feel at the top of the world! That’s why you’ve come here in the first place! I told Mama not to call you! Not to ask you to come over! Anyone! Not you! Not you!”
There was deep pause which provide Afaaf time to cry and the rest of the family to gather around. Inara didn’t try stopping her.
“Are you done?”
She asked softly. Afaaf didn’t reply.
“If you have any notion that I feel competitive of you, then please clear your mind, Afaaf. I never felt the need of it even when we were staying under this same roof. So why would I now? I know since the very beginning that I’ve no competition with you. How could I? You were the princess of this castle and I was just an ugly duckling. There’s no comparison.”
Inara wiped a tear that had stopped at the tip of her eyelash.
“But right now I pity you. Not because of the state you’re in, but because of the state you never got out of. All your life you’ve played the blame game. Played hide and seek with the realities which were just in front of you. You knew our parents were toxic to each other. But you didn’t want to believe that you don’t have the perfect family that you should’ve. And what you did? You blamed it on me. Because I was the different one, so I was the reason our parents were always fighting, when more than half of the times their arguments had nothing to do with me. You just wanted a villain in your perfect fairy tale. You made me that.”
Afaaf was silent now. Inara wasn’t shouting but her words were colliding with the walls of this castle. Sand castle.
“And then you never saw me in any other light. I wasn’t a sister but a monster who wreaked havoc in your perfect world. You started blaming every wrong on me. If you didn’t want to believe something, you’d make me the villain there. A convenient route. I never got the love and affection you did in this house, Afaaf. I should’ve made you the villain of my story and rightly so. But I didn’t. Then why did you? You are again doing it. Instead of contemplating where things went wrong with your husband, you are venting your anger and frustration on me. But here’s a thing. I refuse to be your punching bag anymore.”
She didn’t wait for Afaaf’s reaction. She had gone from there leaving the occupants of this house submerged in their own guilt.

*
Inara and Zoha were sitting in the lawn. It was four days after that showdown in the lounge. Afaaf hadn’t tried to talk to Inara neither there was any attempt on Inara’s part.
“I’m glad you didn’t leave after what happened.”
Inara shrugged.
“Afaaf isn’t the only member of this family who needs some support right now.”
Zoha smiled dejectedly.
“We shouldn’t have pampered her to this extent. She can’t stay steady in an argument. We’ve praised her for being right so many times that she doesn’t know what being wrong feels like. We were extra hard on you and extra lenient with her. See where it has gotten us.”
Inara looked away.
“But I’m happy to see you well settled in your life. You’ve not only found a husband who loves and respects you but also a family who’s giving you all the love you never gotten…”
“One second, Mama.”
Inara interrupted her.
“They aren’t giving me the love and acceptance I never gotten from you and Baba. They are giving me what they should do as a family. Stop being comfortable with the fact that so what if Inara didn’t got it from us? She’s getting it from her in laws. You and Baba neglected me and my aspirations, let others mock me for the way I didn’t reach the standard of Sukhera beauty and brains, you let Afaaf did all that to me a sibling should never. And now all you have to say is this? Just to free yourself from this guilt?”
Zoha’s words had lost somewhere. She tried forming them again and again but failed.
“Inara, beta I’m so…”
But her sentence had been cut short by the way Inara had suddenly gotten up and started walking towards the entrance.
Nahyan was locking his car when he found her standing there on the boundary of the lawn. He smiled in her way and taking long strides reached her side. She had immediately hugged him.
“You okay?”
“I’m. You came early.”
“I did. I wrapped everything up with record speed. Had to get back because I just couldn’t leave you alone in this situation.”
He gesture around the Sukhera house. Inara kept on looking at his face.
“What?”
“I want to go home.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded.
“I’m. I just go and grab my stuff.”
Nahyan didn’t have any complains to this. As Inara turned around in his arms, she found Adeem and her mother smiling at them from far, Wijdan was standing at entrance of the house with regret written on his face. Afaaf’s room’s window was bolted.
This had been her house all her life. Where she was born but never accepted. Where she had tried fitting in but never quite did. The standards of which she couldn’t touch.
It had been just this to her.
A house.
While her home and everything within and with it was standing right in front of her.
She’d always be an ugly duckling in this house.
But she was a swan in this man’s heart. A queen in his house. Her house. Their house.
And somehow that had given her all that she had ever needed.

*

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