Thursday, May 28, 2009

Once I found Paige, I hugged her tight as I used to do the same with my mom. I cherished those memories when mother would come home from work and my younger self would run to greet her.

And despite how Mama was tired from her day job, she'd always have room to spend it with me and my siblings.

Sigh! Those were the days!

***************

Paige's arms were wide open to embrace me as if she already knew what happened; she always had a motherly instinct. But I still told her everything that Owen did to my sister, along with my tiny fiasco.

Well, except for the fact that I drank a bottle of Red Bull, because I knew Paige didn't like that drink. She believed it was a waste of energy that would tire your body out. She didn't like soda or alcohol either. Our classmates in college would call her a cheapskate since she didn't want to take that risk. If she knew my addiction to those drinks, I suppose she'd be twice as worse than Joshua hovering over me.

I cried endlessly in her arms as she tried to comfort me on her shoulder. Perhaps Paige's blouse was drenched with my tears, but she never complained.

"There, there." As she hugged me back, I closed my eyes thinking that I just wished the day would end. I felt like a drama queen all over again as people called me in college. Never meant to be one, but I can't help it if my emotions just pour out like a dripping water faucet.

"Mae, please stop crying."

After a pause, Paige continued on.

"I'm sure your sister was the one that really got hurt after Owen chased her down like that. He shouldn't have asked you to help him out."

I forced my tears to stop flowing and wiped them away with my shirt. I tried to smile, but only a smirk formed upon my face.

"Y-you must be right Paige. I was just furious with Owen. Don't appreciate what he did to Moira." I wiped the rest of my tears away with the palm of my hand as Paige handed me a handkerchief to blow my nose upon.

My friend looked at me and tried to remove the rest of the dirt on my hair and attire with a tissue.

"Well, do you know what really happened between them? I mean besides the fight and the other girl?" She asked this as I looked perplexed.

I shook my head no. I was now able to calm down, but was still hyperventilating as the pressure in my stomach wouldn't stop.

I closed my eyes and kept telling myself to breathe in and breathe out.

My former Yoga instructor told us to practice these steps and that is what I did daily. It helped relieve my stress, but after a while the worries would creep up again.

"I really don't care what happened, but I think Moira has more to tell me if she only gave me a chance. She doesn't really say a lot to me now, Paige."

My friend looked at me and held my hand.

"Moira is probably going through a lot of things, Mae. Remember she just got back from her deployment overseas. We don't know what she faced over there and now seeing Owen's dramatic episode must have caused her to break down. You have to consider that."

Damn, I hate it when she's correct. Paige always knows what to say. How selfish could I be?

"Well, that must have been quite an act you put on Mae, sorry I wasn't there to see it."

Paige let go of my embrace after I let her go. I know I put on quite a show for all to see, but I couldn't help it.

"There's my Mae! Let's try to forget what happened and enjoy the rest of the party."

Paige smiled as she was happy to see me come back to my senses. I figured she was right. I couldn't dwell on something that once shattered me to pieces. I came to the party to have fun.

"Come, let's find my brother."

Paige grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. She explained to me how he might be able to cheer me up as well.

But let's make that....someone who didn't know any better to get me so topsy-turvy!

***************

We found Robin in the den, which used to be a basement, entertaining a bunch of his friends with a karaoke machine.

I have always been afraid of basements for some reason, as I wouldn't be caught alone in one. Probably I'm a bit claustrophobic, but I don't know what hides in that room besides creepy crawlers. So, I held tightly to Paige's hand as we stepped down from the stairs.

Yet, despite my fears, I planned to observe what my friends did to this section of the house, since it was quite huge. Several sofas were placed in the corners for the visitors to sit on, as well as a wide screen HD TV that hung on the side of the wall. A small refrigerator and bar were also included in there, just in case anyone got hungry.

The twin's parents painted the walls Cambridge Blue and cemented the fireplace with bricks to bring some vibrant textures to brighten the room, since there weren't any windows located there.

Yet, the old washer and dryer were located there, as it was located in the back, which I call the dark room since there wasn't a lot of light in that area. Paige and I used to hang out there when she used to develop her films, but those days are gone once her parents renovated the place.

***************

We walked up to Robin as he was chatting with some friends on a black leather sofa.

"Hi Robin, Mae and I thought we'd hang out with you for a while." Paige greeted her brother with a smile.

"Sure. No problem."

He looked up at me. Seeing that I still had remnants of tears in my eyes, he asked me about the incident.

"What happened Mae?"

Before I could open my mouth, Paige answered for me.

"Mae and Moira had a fight with Owen ... which also involved flower petals, we'll have to eventually "clean that up'." She emphasized the word clean up, because she meant that both her brother and I had to be part of the cleanup crew. We both giggled at the fact I made a huge mess. It wasn't really a bother, I was glad to help my friends.

Robin knew about Owen and Moira's relationship, but I assume he didn't think that it would cause any harm in inviting his comrade to the party.

"I'm so sorry Mae, if I only knew how hard it was going to be, I wouldn't have asked him to come in the first place. Come here and sit down with the gang. We could use some girls for this karaoke system. It's getting boring with all of us guys singing it."

I sat down on the sofa next to Paige and her brother. His friends Luke and Noah were busy looking at the karaoke booklet, trying to figure out what would be the next song to sing.

A tap on my shoulder made me turn around.

"Here Marlene, have a sip. It will make you feel better."

These were the words coming from Christian, a guy I once had a crush on before Owen. Chris had slick dark hair that I just wanted to touch and the dreamiest brown eyes I couldn't get over. But I'm not that type of girl to fall head over heels for a boy that quickly; I go for personality as my brother Joshua and Robin have taught me.

I grabbed the cup. "Thanks Christian."

As I was thirsty after all the outbursts that just occurred, I drank the whole thing in one gulp.

However, I forgot there was a great possibility that in every party, a bowl of fruit punch could be spiked; so when I saw Paige looking at me with a frown, I realized what I just did.

I wasn't drinking from an ordinary Styrofoam cup, but it was one of those heavy strong red plastic ones that held so much liquid. After I realized what had happened, the fire in my body struck it's cord.

I was only given one cup of fruit juice, but the adrenaline kicked right in again. I felt so dynamic and invigorated! And that's the beginning of my alcohol addiction.

If it was a song that Robin and the guys wanted, well that's what they'll get. Let me tell you Red Bull and fruit punch with alcohol do not mix.

I grabbed the Karaoke booklet from Noah's hands, and looked at the pages. He immediately took notice of me and complained.

"Hey! ... Why did you do that?"

Looking awkwardly at him, I stood up and spoke directly in front of his face. I bet my breath started to smell bad since he covered his nose.

"Because Noah, I'm going to sing! Now please get out of my way!" I tried to stand up straight, but my knees kept failing me. Pointing my fingers upwards with my empty cup, I said, "You cranky boys can't do without me."

Robin stared at me with a goofy look. He acted like he didn't enjoy the show, but I knew that underneath it all, he was just like the other dudes in the room who wanted to mess with me.

"Hey guys, did you put something in her drink? You know we'll be in big trouble soon. I bought that beer for us, not to tamper with."

It's too late for that excuse Robin, the damage was already done.

Paige looked at her brother and gave him a nasty remark, "How dumb could you be bro? Obviously you guys planned this, didn't you?"

But Robin didn't pay attention to her and kept looking at his friends instead as if he were trying to hide his guilty face.

Chris, now known as the jerk, fired back.

"What if we did Robin 'hood'? It won't hurt her...It was only one cup."

One cup too many!! And bet Robin hated that nickname. He didn't like being known as Robin Hood, the hero of a fairy tale many might be familiar with. The handsome hero with his merry men who stole from the rich to give to the poor.

Robin sighed and groaned.

"Well, if Mae gets too looney, I'm getting her sister to take charge. Paige is right; you guys are a bunch of idiots, you know that?"

Here he goes playing the tough guy again like he's my bodyguard. I might be dumbfounded, but I find that peculiar in his character as if he always wanted to impress me. For what reason? I don't know, but in my drunken state of mind, I didn't want to find out.

The other guys were all grinning at me and Robin, while Paige kept telling them that we had to go.

But I made a choice and stomped my foot like a hyperactive kid. Paige was not that strong to pull me out of that room, so I quickly pointed to a song in the book.

"Okay, play this ... a Maroon 5 song for me. And I'll show you what a real voice should sound like!"

I don't think my voice was that perfect, but I wasn't a complete washout either.

The boys put up the song on the screen and held the microphone, ready for me to start singing as a fuming songstress.

I sang through it all, carefree and all. And I didn't care what others said about me. My voice is a low tone and was considered to be an alto in my former music group. Thus, I learned to steady it. I tried to focus on what I was doing for a while, but somehow I started feeling a little lightheaded.

For all I know, my singing voice could have sounded like a dog's howl because of my constant slurs. But that was only my opinion. The words on the TV screen told me otherwise - I was doing fairly well.

And there was a main reason why this song was chosen that day, and that was due to my feelings toward Owen. He probably would take me to a place where there was a "whirlpool of dilemmas' waiting for us.

I really didn't know what to do with him. Sometimes I wanted to hurt him as he did with my sister, and when he was looking at other girls, but another side wanted me to forgive him for what he did. I tried to resist his charm, but doing so just made me want him more. He was troubled all right.

***************

The television screen that now had dirty specs on it due to the partygoers throwing careless objects around showed a 9/10, which was my score for singing the song. Not bad, I felt thrilled to see it, yet tears rolled upon my face.

Tears of happiness or sorrow? I don't know how to answer that.

The rest of the boys applauded for my encore.

"Thank you, Thank you."

I bowed down as if I were on stage and the curtains just rolled ending Marlene Brennan's façade. Despite my dirty appearance and unstable attitude, I had a clue what was happening and was glad that I wasn't wearing a dress, for the onlookers viewed my now odd apparel that consisted of a sticky blouse and dirty jeans. Wearing smeared makeup can also be damaging while being intoxicated. I know the chemicals probably made me unstable.

Then I noticed Owen entering the room at that moment, which made me furious.

Looking at him sternly, I continued on and grabbed the cup Luke was drinking from. I needed another drink to loosen up.

Whenever I get mad, the unthinkable happens! If a person ever gets in my way, I might not be the best person to handle that situation.

What does this guy actually want? Somehow he kept following me, why can't he just beat it?

Just thinking about the anger and pain I had of him made me 'exaggerate' my voice a bit, and soon I felt that there was a deeper meaning hidden within this song. He didn't care about those who he hurt at all.

I wonder if he ever knew what a wounded heart felt like, because that's what I had.

I knew the song had ended, and think Owen had a hunch that the song was dedicated to him.

Then without notice, I dropped to the floor out of exhaustion from all that frustration beating inside my heart mixed with alcohol and drowsiness. Then all of a sudden everything went black as I closed my eyes.