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Virulent
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Author :: Inwiseble_

Reviewer :: athenaxglamour_

First impression :: 11/20

Starting from the first impression, the cover wasn't up to mark because the title literally speaks depth. But still it's not that bad. The blurb has some issues that caught me off guard. Don't worry, I will point out everything as the review goes down.

Cover :: 7/10
To be honest, the cover is neat and perfectly matches the plotline that you are trying to convey. But the font could be less cute and more complex for the title. Now let's move more in depth.

1) explicit or direct view (the basics):
Each cover has three basic elements: a matching picture, a title, and the author’s name. Gladly, your cover has all three elements. Good job there!

2) implicit or indirect view (how this cover relates to the book?):
I would say that your cover is perfectly matching the story. The picture of Jungkook is psychopathic. Your story is literally depicting Jungkook as a psycho in love. Moreover, the word error on Jungkook's eye makes the cover perfect. So the first impression isn't that bad.

↱︎❛ Reviewer's tip :: I don't think this cover demands any necessary changing. But it would be great if you add a quote from the book on this cover. Your story is pretty heated, so you need to tell your readers from your cover that they are going to read your book for a good reason. Please keep it in mind that this is just my tip. Not a necessity. 

Title :: 3/5
At first glance, the title is like those titles on wattpad that requires the reader's efforts to search its meaning on the internet. But I am satisfied that you explained its meaning in the blurb. As far as the uniqueness is concerned, I am glad you didn't name it as "serial killer" or "psycho love". You know traditional cliché titles of wattpad? It has uniqueness in it. Also, this perfectly matches the plot. The story revolves around Jungkook and y/n, and how y/n has to go through the virulent attitude of Jungkook.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Not related to the technical issue of the title, but please change the font of the title on the front page from fancy text to simple wattpad font. Some readers may not see it.

Blurb :: 1/5
The blurb has some technical and non technical problems. Please, try to fix them as I say, and I am sure this blurb would come out good.

Non-technical issues
➡ I saw that you wrote a definition of virulent.

[ What does it mean if someone is Virulent? →> full of hate or anger: extremely or excessively harsh or strong. extremely dangerous and deadly.] Basically, you are repeating the same thing in the next two lines too which comes under redundancy. Your blurb needs to be concise, so only the first and second line would be enough because the end line has the same meaning.

➡ Don't write the whole scene in a blurb; leave something to hush and gush about. Instead, write a short introduction of your characters. Tell us about the main problem of your book. For example, [ He swung your body from left to right and giggled like a kid looking...You are mine, only mine.] Please, it would be great if you cut this scene out. As someone who read many books on wattpad, I could literally read all the story through it.

➡ On the other hand, I like the last paragraph that you wrote. This is everything a blurb should be. For example, [The story where Jeon jungkook is madly obsessed with his girlfriend and is a killer but his girlfriend finds the truth when everything she had was HIM.]

Technical issues
➡ Use commas, they avoid confusion and make your writing look neat. For example, in the first lines of the blurb, you wrote everything without a pause. A normal reader needs to pause and have a break. That's why, comma exists. Notice it in the following lines: [He swung your body from left to right; he giggled like a kid looking at your bruised face and marked body. He hugged you tightly before pulling away and looking at your face.] I edited this paragraph for you, using a semicolon and removing two 'and' which were taking this paragraph way too lengthy.

➡ Please capitalize the names of the specific person. Like instead of 'jungkook', write "Jungkook".

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Work on the above mentioned points. Also, if it's okay then remove that sex scene from the blurb. And add information on characters, plot, and conflict instead of a scene.

Beginning of a new start :: 4/10

In the beginning, we have a prologue that literally tells me everything about the story. As someone who has read countless books, I could easily predict the whole story. Unless you are going to write something different from my expectations in the future, this prologue isn't giving me intriguing vibes.

Your main character was introduced in the first chapter. I was expecting a unique start, but I literally got that traditional cliché starting in which the main character wakes up. The cliché isn't a bad word. But you must be aware of those clichés in order to make it less boring.

The third problem that I have noticed is jumping directly into the devil's pit. Means you have started from the intimacy of the two main leads without giving your readers time to digest their backgrounds. In short, you were too fast in telling us that Jungkook and y/n are now together.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: I would suggest you to remove that prologue from the start. You told the whole storyline through it, and take the relationship of Jungkook and y/n more than just intimacy. I will explain it in the characters section. This was just my tip. Feel free to ignore it if you don't feel comfortable with my suggestion.

Concept and plot :: 6/25

Although, you have a storyline in your mind. But mainly I see you rushing on the scenes. This story can be a lot better it you take notice on the following points:

➡ I won't say that your story has no effect on the reader's heart. Because many people would like such a storyline but you must be aware of subjects like BDSM and CNC before starting writing on it. Same goes for mental health topics. I sense you might have researched the topics of psychopath characters, but in some places I felt like you are about to romanticize it. Remember, I said 'about 'to' means you haven't romanticized them yet. For example, in the prologue, Jungkook drags y/n miserably saying that he loves her, so he is doing that to her. Remember that love isn't an excuse to abuse your partner.

➡ Your book is extremely rushed. Usually you are telling useless stuff. That stuff doesn't even matter if you exclude them. Fillers are okay, but your readers want to see your main character's and side character's relevance to the plotline. Always use a filler if you think that it will contribute to your main story. For example, Jessi went on vacation for a week? How is it related to your plot?

➡ Your storyline gets boring and boring as you focus more on Jungkook and y/n. I have no idea what their interaction is like. They just are seen in physical intimacy. Sexual interaction matters but if you just focus on the love story, then you will forget to add their development, and your book will be called a story not a plot 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: From what I see, you are very new to writing. That's completely okay but to get better, you need to learn more. You can learn by reading original works on wattpad. They will expand your views on the topics. I suggest that you research more on mature themes because your story and plot revolves around it.

Characters and emotions :: 3/15

When you are writing a book, the characters are more important than anything else. Because it's through these characters, your scenes are going to develop. As far as your book is concerned, I have noticed the following issues. These issues are affecting your plotline too.

➡ No development of main characters. They are just people with names. Jungkook loves y/n but he shows it through his psychopathic abuse. Okay, that's completely normal in dark romance, but why is he doing it, darling? What made him lose his senses? I have no idea why he takes pictures of y/n and hides a camera to record their sexual interaction. If you won't give me the cause of an affect, I wouldn't know what's affecting my character in such a way.

➡ Usually in a toxic relationship, we have red flags from the abuser to the victim. I haven't seen y/n reacting to those red flags. I have no idea what she thought of Jungkook being possessive all the time. All I could see is that she is behaving passive and he is so aggressive. Make your characters realistic.

➡ I could barely sympathize with your characters. Jungkook shows just two emotions: love and hate. But I have no reason why. Y/n shows defensive emotions when Jungkook is trying to be aggressive. Other than that, I have no idea what her emotions are like.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: You need a lot of work in the understanding of how to write a good character. For this, you need to take help from reading. We have Mr.google on our phone all the time. I would suggest you to go on Google and read blogs on how to write a psycho character, how to write a well developed character, how to show emotions. Remember that nobody but you could help yourself.

Tone and style :: 4/10

When it comes to the writing style, you need a lot of work here. Some issues are below:

➡ Sometimes, it was hard for me to understand who was speaking at the moment. It was because you missed dialogue tags and attributions. For example, ["Name" "Solar" you made up the name "For how many hours you are hanging out" "I will be back before 6 " "and when you will be going " "at 3 pm," he thought for a while before nodding] Such kind of writing style is called scripted style that we don't usually use in stories that are being narrated.

➡ You should always write the thoughts of the characters in italics. But you are writing in a way which isn't a rule. Few examples from your book are below: [1-* Ok just ignore and walk past them* 2-*Gosh my ears are gonna bleed*] You should write them in italics.

➡ Be consistent with the point of view. You are writing your whole story in the person's point of view, but in one place, you switched the point of view to the first person. For example, [ Jungkook Pov Finally.... He thought while looking at the nude pictures of yours.] For this one line, you switched your point of view.

➡ Capitalizing the screams of the characters wouldn't make your characters scream the screams more intensely. Be powerful with your words, not with the cap lock of your keyboard. I have an example from your book. Notice it ["PLEASE LET ME GO. WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU"]

➡ Like capitalizing, sometimes, you are using more than one letter too. Like "whyyyyy" and "Y/nnnnnn". Such writing style makes your writing informal. You must avoid it.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: I suggest you to read original works of wattpad for this too. When you read them, pay attention to their writing style closely. I am sure you will learn many things. 

Grammar :: 6/20

This is another area where you need to work on. I am going to break it down for you.

➡ In the very first line, I noticed that you have sentences with comma splice. A comma splice is when you join two independent clauses without using conjunctions. Notice the following example:

[ Your hands were tied behind your back, your Face was badly bruised and many marks around your body.]

Your hands were tied behind your back = independent clause

your Face was badly bruised and many marks around your body = independent clause

First of all, the word "Face" shouldn't be capitalized here. And sentence structure is pretty odious too. Second of all, when it comes to comma splice, you need to add conjunction to the above example if you want to add a comma. Or simply make it another sentence by adding a period. I removed the comma splice and edited that whole line for you.

Edited version:
[ Your hands were tied behind your back. Your face was badly bruised and there were many marks on your body.]

➡ There are only three periods in ellipsis. But you are overusing them in some places. For example, [Finally....]. Only three periods in ellipsis.

➡ Punctuations are there to avoid confusion. But you aren't using them at all. This is making your writing style rough and messy too. I am going to give you an example from your book:
["I don't know she is like that since we stepped outside of university" your brother replied eating rice with his chopsticks.] You should use either comma and period at the end before closing the quotations but you are missing that too.

➡ When dialogues are followed by words like, "said" then we use a comma (,) before closing the quotation. Also if the dialogue is followed by action words or verbs like "he laughed" then you are going to use a period (American) and full stop (British).

➡ Always capitalize proper names. Especially the names of the characters. Like Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: Once you are done with writing this book, you should hand it over to edit. It would be good if you are going to edit it by yourself.

Extra Notes :: I will wind up my review by saying that don't get discouraged by my words. You will learn more if you have determination in you. For now, just work on the above mentioned points. If you have any questions, then ask me.

TOTAL :: 38/100