╭⋟───────────────╮
Understanding You
╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: zarintasneemkhan

Reviewer :: bykhongjoong

First Impression :: 7/20

» Cover :: 4/10

The cover is aesthetically pleasing to the eyes. It has everything a cover needs: a clear picture in the background, the title, and the author’s name. Although I suggest your fonts be a little brighter so that it’s seen better, overall, it’s a good cover. But, your cover has no relevance to your story other than the fact that it’s a Min Yoongi fic. A cover’s job is to tell people what type of story they’re getting into, and yours isn’t doing well at that. I suggest using a picture that’s more relevant to your story and your concept reflects on it.

» Title :: ⅖

Your title is so common that if I looked it up on Wattpad, I would come across a few hundred Understanding You’s before finding yours. Besides the fact that it’s unoriginal, it also holds no apparent significance in the story. It’s not related to your story either, at least that’s what I have gathered after reading the book, so I suggest you go through your book again and find a unique title that reflects your story.

» Blurb :: ⅕

First of all, please refrain from using multiple font styles within a single paragraph only for aesthetic purposes unless it’s necessary. You used 3 different fonts to show your blurb, and none of them is the original Wattpad font. This is because fonts from other sites are not visible on some devices and only show blocks instead of alphabets. It’s inconvenient for your readers as well as reviewers and critics, so I suggest you remove the fonts and go with Wattpad’s original fonts. Not to mention, too many different fonts make everything super messy, and it’ll just drive your readers away instead of pulling them in.

Now, onto the actual blurb. A blurb has four important elements: a hook, that is, a quote from your book that sort of sets the overall scene, a brief introduction of characters who will be with the readers for the journey, the main conflict that the story revolves around, and the things that are at stake if the characters fail to resolve the conflict. Your blurb has only one, maybe (a very, very big maybe) two out of those four elements, and they’re not executed properly, either.

I have many qualms over the content in your description too. In your blurb, you say, “this is not your average ‘they met- fell in love- got married- happy ending’ story.’” I get that it’s not a cliche, but you need to tell me why your story is not a cliche. Other than that, you failed to introduce your main characters, explain briefly what this ‘harsh reality’ is, and tell me what the ‘heavy price’ is. There are also many grammatical mistakes, so I suggest you revise your entire summary.

Beginning of a new start :: 2/10

If I’m going to be honest, your starting is bland and lackluster. You started right from chapter one, and while it’s not wrong to start from there, I would have preferred it if there was a character index or an introduction chapter. There wasn’t a prologue, either, and even though they usually depend on the plot, I suggest having them since they act as a more detailed introduction for your story.

Your first few chapters are pretty uneventful as nothing exciting happens other than Y/N getting hired. The lack of description of the setting just adds to the beginning of your book is lackluster. Furthermore, the contents of the first three chapters are too few, with all the scenes taking place on the same day, meaning, if you were to add all of them together, it’d be one regular-length chapter. Remember, the first few chapters of your book are the most important because your readers will decide if they want to continue further or not by them, so you have to make sure you are properly presenting the setting as well as introducing the main characters within the first few chapters.

Something that I noticed you often do is using Hangul when your book is written in English. Other than the fact that it’s wrong to use a foreign language that way, it’s also very irritating because sometimes you do not have its translation. Do keep in mind that not everyone is fluent in Korean, and not a lot of people are not familiar with Hangul. I’ll explain why it’s wrong in ‘Tones & Style’.

Concept and plot :: 5/25

It’s actually a very common trope, but, even though it’s a cliche, it’s not executed properly, and it’s hard to understand what exactly is the concept. The story is moving too slow at some points and too fast at another. You are describing unnecessary things too much while substituting others with pictures. Not to mention, some parts of your story do not feel real.

For example, in one of the chapters, we see Yoongi beating up Y/N’s ex-boyfriend, and that too, out in the open. You have to know that, idols, no matter what, would never lose their cool outside to the point of hitting a normal person because that would risk their whole career, and not to mention, anger fans a great deal. In your story, the BTS members star as themselves. So I’m assuming, in your book, they are a worldwide famous band too, and a member of a band such as that would never risk their career like that, not even for a girl.

Like this, there’s another part that feels rushed, and many of the things you wrote are wrong. In chapter 20, Yoongi is on the verge of fainting, and the first thing the staff does is get an oxygen mask and some sort of medicine. You should know that when someone faints, you have to first make sure any of their clothing that’s restricting air circulation, in any way, must be loosened or removed first before giving them CPR if they’re not breathing. When the person regains consciousness, allow them to rest instead of making them sit up. All of this was from a google search.

It clearly shows that you haven’t done enough research for some parts of your story before you started writing because when someone faints, there’s no need for an oxygen mask or any sort of medicine. Nonetheless, it seemed like Yoongi was just having a hard time breathing and he wasn’t actually unconscious, in which case, you give him enough space to breathe. That whole chapter feels unnatural and too rushed because when Yoongi goes back to the dorm with Y/N, he suddenly seems fine and is practically pinning Y/N to the wall.

Another thing I noticed is that Yoongi is in love with Y/N within 10 chapters, and that may not have been a problem if your story was fast-paced, and your chapters were longer. But your chapters are really short, and there is nothing, in particular, happening between Y/N and Yoongi that would lead me to believe he is in love with her. You need to explain at least something that would help us understand how that happened. Sure, love at first sight is a thing, but still, at least some sort of bedazzling scene between the two of them is required for it to be believable.

I also want to mention the info dump at the end of the first chapter. A big paragraph tells us about Y/N, her family, her dream job, and her driving forces. Info dumping is highly suggested to be avoided because many of these points can be used in other scenes to help establish relationships between characters or give further insight into your main character to your readers. Believe it or not, you can base off a whole chapter just on one of these points that you mentioned in that paragraph.

I suggest you watch the Korean drama Imitation as it revolves around the lives of idols and take notes from it. Work on your plot because despite some of the unbelievable things in your story, the unnatural pacing, the poor execution of settings, and the lack of details, it’s possible to turn it into something unique. Work on your concept, too, because even though it starts to get apparent in later chapters that there might be some sort of twist to this cliche, you are not executing it properly. There are already 39 chapters published but your plot isn’t properly developed, and not moving fast enough.

Characters and emotions :: 5/15

Like I mentioned earlier, your plot's pace is unnatural, and the same goes for your characters’ development and them expressing their emotions. Your characters are, in short, two-dimensional. Some of the things they do feel unnatural, and this is all because you are not describing your scenes properly. The character dynamics are also very confusing in some places because you did not build their base. Y/N’s relationship with the members feels a little odd as well because even if the Bangtan boys are a nice bunch, Y/N is a stranger to them, and it will take time for them to trust and get comfortable around her. Remember, they are idols, meaning they have met a thousand people on a daily, and them suddenly getting friendly with a new staff would feel unnatural.

This brings us back to my comment about your characters being two-dimensional. They lack depth, there are no explanations as to why some of them are the way they are, and their emotions feel fabricated.

Tone and style :: 2/10

As I mentioned in ‘Beginning of a new start’, your use of Hangul is not only irritating and unappealing, but it’s also wrong. First of all, if you are writing in English, foreign words must be italicized to show it’s not a part of the English dictionary. Second, you are using Hangul in a story written in English, and that would mean that the characters speak in English in general, and the story setting is not in Korea. And it’s not like you are using the Korean words in places where it needs to be shown that the characters are Korean, you are using them in a whole sentence, and it’s completely unnecessary. If you must use Korean words in an English-written story, then use them for honorifics. Otherwise, it’s not necessary.

Another thing that bugged me a lot was how Y/N talked to her father. Be aware that Koreans are big on honorifics, and no one will ever address their parents as, “Yah” even if they have a really good relationship with their parents. It’s extremely disrespectful in Korean culture to address an elder with that word, and it’s usually used when talking to younger people.

I am not Korean and I am not too familiar with their culture, but these are basic things you would already know if you are aware of that word.

Besides that, it seemed as if you do not care about the story and you were just putting anything together to fill up the chapter. You did not even bother describing places or even the clothes the characters are wearing, substituting them with pictures instead, which very unattractive. This is a storybook, not a comic; storybooks do not have images in them for minor descriptions of clothes.

The last thing I’d like to point out is the constant change in point of view and adding the author’s notes right in between the story. Constantly changing points of views ruins the flow of the story, not to mention it’s irritating and confusing as well. If you are struggling with point of views, I suggest switching to a third-person point of view as it will be easier to fit in more narratives than just one. Also, please refrain from using author’s notes right in the middle of the story.

Grammar :: 7/20

In the beginning, you use verbal tags like screech, shout, and yell a lot, but it does improve later on. Your dialogues need a lot of work, though. There must be some sort of punctuation at the end of a dialogue, depending on the context. Use commas or periods at the end of the sentences if they are statements, and watch the capitalization of the pronoun after you close the quotation. If it’s a dialogue tag starting with a pronoun, use lowercase. If it’s an action beat, use uppercase. You should take note of the punctuations used in dialogue tags and action beats as well since the punctuation differs depending on what you are using. Other than that, focus on expanding your vocabulary instead of relying on the same few words, and try to learn more about punctuation and how they are used.

Extra Note :: I hope this review helps you figure out what you’re doing wrong. Please try reading actual books instead of fanfictions and take note of how the writers are describing their scenes, their characters, how they’re building up relationship dynamics, etc. Also, please research topics you are not familiar with before you start writing to make sure you are not presenting misinformation.

Total :: 28/100