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The Possessive knight
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Author :: Mochi_archer

Reviewer :: kimvante_

First impression :: 15/20

The cover was good. It related to the story very well. Even the font used for the title was visible. However, I think you should work on the smoke around Taehyung's frame. I can see that you accentuated the smoke by highlighting it or maybe increasing the contrast or something but I suggest you please decrease that and use the original picture since the smoke makes the entire cover look pretty hideous. Plus because of highlighting the smoke, Taehyung's face has also unnecessarily brightened which doesn't look good. Also, please put the author's name on the cover. I'm unable to read what was written in the top left corner so I suggest you increase the font size. 

The title was pretty cliché. I know you had stated in your introduction chapter that the story will be cliché but that doesn't mean everything else has to be cliché too. I don't know why Possessive was added while describing the 'knight' which is Taehyung because so far in the story, I haven't detected any possessive trait in his character. If it appears in the story later then the title would very much match the plot but right now, I think "The Knight" or "The Protector" would be more preferred.

The blurb was eye-catching. I liked how you kept it simple but I think the dialogue above would've looked better if it was completed instead of leaving it half. However, the paragraph below was simply intriguing. You didn't reveal too much nor did you add too little. It basically gave out the baseline of the story. In conclusion, good job.

Beginning of a new start :: 7/10

I don't have much to say in this section since the title means how I liked the beginning aka first two chapters. According to me, the onset chapters were good. It was fun reading them because you took your time describing the main leads' lives before focusing on their love story. However, only the pacing seemed a bit fast to me. Especially how they meet each other at the airport in the first scene itself. Pretty cliché if you ask me. Again, just because the plot is cliché doesn't mean even the scenes have to be cliché. 

Concept & Plot :: 15/25

The concept of the story was again, cliché. But it was a good cliché. The type that doesn't bother you because reading cliché concepts once in a while won't hurt. Same for me, it's been long since I had read a cliché story so it was like a refreshment to me. 

Same with the plot, it was cliché but your way of writing the story made it look pretty good. However, I do think that adding spice into the story won't be bad. By looking at the way you write, I'm sure you can create your own twists and turns into the story and perhaps sprinkle angst into it too to enhance the cliché concept of your story to another level. It's just a matter of putting your imagination to good use. 

One more critical aspect about the plot is how you had the characters interlinked to each other so closely. Example, Jungkook is one of Taehyung's friends and turns out he is the female lead's long lost brother as well. Then Namjoon is the female lead's friend and turns out he's Taehyung's brother. In my opinion, linking the side characters to the main leads ruins the plot somehow. It would've been pleasant to see the side characters in some other role rather than being brothers of the main leads. Just friends or maybe acquaintances or infact, them stumbling upon the main leads in the middle of the story would've been a better choice. 

Characters & Emotions :: 9/15

Whenever I read a story, I focus more on the character build-up and their sentiments. Your way of portraying the characters' feelings was precise. The female lead' emotions were well scripted that made me feel what she felt and I could somehow relate to her as well. The only thing I think could've been improved was the display of emotions from Taehyung's side as well. The only feelings that were shown of him was regarding how he felt about the female lead. His feelings of realisation and how he thinks of the woman. I suggest you equally portray Taehyung's feelings regarding his family, friends, surroundings, etc like how you had done with the female lead. Try to maintain an equal emotional balance between characters so the readers can understand both their side of the story before anything else.

The characters were moderate. Just like you had stated, a damsel in distress and her knight in shining armour; cliché. So, there isn't much to say in this part. I was hoping to see some character alterations despite the plot being on the cliché side but alas, you've decided to keep every single thing cliché and not just the plot. I suggest you try to diffuse more unique qualities into your characters and enhance their emotions as well.

Tone & Style :: 7.5/10

Your writing style was good. The paragraphs were of the right size. Not too long nor too short. The transition from one scene to another was good. The descriptive writing brought more life to the story.

As I had mentioned earlier, the toning of the story was a bit fast paced. Example, how they stumbled upon each other in the first chapter itself. Other than that, everything else was okay.

Grammar :: 17/20

Not many mistakes were located in this field. Your grammar and vocabulary was crystal clear and each sentence was well noted. As I mentioned above, I liked your descriptive writing style the most. Even the usage of complex words added more depth to the story. I also noticed how you had thrown in figures of speech here and there in each chapter to give the story a richer look. Absence of colons and semicolons was detected in a few areas. 

I hope my judgement was fair enough. :)

TOTAL :: 70.5/100.