╭⋟───────────────╮
The other Man
╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: taeastethic

Reviewer :: BerryStrawberryy

First Impression :: 15/20

To be honest, I'm not big on royal AUs but your book did look quite promising at first glance and definitely made me want to click read.

» Cover :: 9/10

The cover was not only extremely aesthetically pleasing but it perfectly portrayed the book's theme as well, screaming royalty. The story hasn't reached a point where Taehyung's character has been (literally or metaphorically) crowned but I suppose that insinuation in the cover would make more sense further into the book.

Note:: The cover is perfect, so this is just my opinion, but I think the bottom half (Taehyung's face) could've been brighter so as to blend slightly better into its surroundings.

» Title :: ⅖

I guess the title is somewhat accurate to the book, but it does absolutely no justice to your beautifully written story. These kinds of titles are too common, especially in the wattpad world. If I wasn't reviewing your book, the title probably wouldn't have attracted me to read the story solely as a reader.

» Blurb :: ⅘

The blurb was very well written. It not only followed the ideal word limit and format but also provided just the right amount of details to give me an idea about the story and made me click read.

But I'm gonna be slightly stingy and deduct a point for the few grammatical errors, which I will be explaining more about later.

Beginning of a new start :: 9/10

The book started off on a really good note. The excerpt was written just right and from the first chapter, we got to know a little bit about the MC and her world; it was descriptive, yet vague in just the right amount.

You should remove the first part of the excerpt chapter (the synopsis), since it is already in the blurb and people have read it, plus an excerpt is only supposed to be an extract of the book, no summary.

Concept and plot :: 23/25

The plot deserves a complete marking.

The idea was completely unique; even though 'forced marriage and the involvement of another man' is a quite common concept at first glance—you took it, slightly tweaked it, added a really strong theme and message to it while making it yours.

As for the execution, we have barely reached the tip of the iceberg. The wedlock hasn't taken place yet and that means the actual story hasn't even started. What I've seen so far, is a basic set up for the story, a general introduction of the characters, their daily lives, the situations they're in and how their paths cross; I have my expectations set high for the rest of the story since this set-up was quite exceptional.

The central idea of your plot is basically a royal power struggle, for that I would like to suggest that you slightly branch out the main plotline and explore a couple other storylines, which eventually intertwine with the main plot. The reason for this is because a power struggle is a huge concept, it is much bigger than one simple wedlock, it is the exploration of two kingdoms entirely. So when the time comes to introduce the 'conflict' in your book and if it is something along the lines of planning a coup, or bringing justice to the kingdom with a rightful ruler, I suggest you choose an elaborate way of seeing the plan through, maybe explore a few different characters and their side stories about how they provide assist.

Apart from that, it is too early to judge the execution of your plot, but it seems promising so far.

Tip :: there's nothing wrong with your storytelling right now, but one can never be too perfect. So if you're looking for ways to improve your plot idea, means or result, I strongly advise you to read the works of 'George R.R. Martin'. Observe the manner, pace and the diversity of the plot; it would really help you a lot, since your central theme is quite similar to the 'A Song Of Ice And Fire' series.

Characters and emotions :: 14/15

The characters and the way you handled them really impressed me. You constantly switch between povs, giving us a glance into the minds of both the MCs, and you also gave us enough insight about the side characters as to not make them seem unnecessary while still keeping the spotlight on the protagonists.

As for the description and portrayal of emotions, it was vague but made me take a liking to the characters and picture myself in their place, enduring what they're enduring. One thing I really liked is how you don't actually need to name emotions; you don't use words like, "pained" or "joyous" while describing a character's situation, but instead, you frame your words, describe their situation so accurately that one can automatically understand the thoughts going on in a character's mind.

The only issue is, I am not really emotionally invested yet, but like I said, the story is still ongoing and it's too early to judge. I do look forward to reading more!

Tip :: if you ever decide to make changes to your book, I would strongly suggest changing Y/N to an OC. You have not used the second person point of view in this story at all, it is entirely written in third person, so it won't affect your way of writing much. I say this because most readers often have trouble imagining themselves in Y/N's shoes and it tends to make the story less impactful, maybe slightly unprofessional?

Tone and Style :: 9/10

I would've given your writing style a complete 10/10 or maybe even a few extra points if not for one tiny problem. I noticed that later in the book, especially during a couple of lengthy conversations, you started using a lot of dialogue tags; you also added an adjective to nearly every one of them. I advise you not to use too many dialogue tags in a row; it tends to make your writing appear a little novice and monotonous after a point.

You should also refrain from adding too many adjectives. The type of verbal tag used, the punctuation and the wording of the dialogue is more than enough to convey the tone of the speaker. Not every mutter needs to be explained as 'quiet'.

Apart from that, the way you write fits your plot and theme like the missing piece to a puzzle. The use of the correct modal and auxiliary verbs exhibit the perfect vibe of 'royalty' and the text decorations are just a cherry on top.

Grammar :: 14/20

The grammar was mostly decent, you definitely know your way around the language and to most readers it would've appeared just fine. But taking a closer look, from a more professional point of view, there were a number of repeated errors, for each of which I've deducted one point.

Capitalization: the first letters in nicknames and titles were not capitalized. Entire sentences or words were occasionally capitalized to depict yelling whereas an exclamation mark would've sufficed.

Unnecessary Periods & Question Marks: you added periods in-between a few words (l.i.k.e.t.h.i.s) which is quite unprofessional. You have also used this '?!' occasionally, which is grammatically incorrect. If a question is being yelled out or asked in exasperation then adding only an exclamation point at the end is okay, you shouldn't add two punctuation marks next to each other.

Dialogue tags and action tags: the correct punctuation was not used before and after dialogue/action tags.

Unnecessary Quotation Marks: the name of the lands, like 'Credissa' and 'Antares', need not be put in quotations; italicizing them is enough, especially since they are foreign/fictitious names.

Ellipses: An ellipsis is only supposed to have three periods (four if placed after a complete sentence) but you have not only used it excessively where it isn't needed but also added 5-7 dots at times.

An extra point is deducted at the end for other varying unintentional errors due to the lack of proofreading.

Extra Note :: I am NOT liberal while reviewing and this was probably the first time I've given out marks like candy but, believe me, I really liked this book. I hope you continue writing like this right until the very end of the story and do not veer off track. Apart from that, just give a thought to everything I've mentioned above, work on making certain changes and you're good to go!

If you have any doubts regarding what I said, feel free to ask and tag me in the comments!

Total :: 84/100