╭⋟───────────────╮
The Man of your Dreams

╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: milktaetangerine

Reviewer :: Chaotic_Lals

First Impression :: 10/20

» Cover :: 4/10

The cover isn’t really appealing. The overlay made it look kind of weird. The face claims didn’t sit well either. The cover and its elements don't go with the title. The quality of the cover is poor too. The fonts chosen were not appropriate either. The placement and font of the author and the owner of the graphic piece was out of place, so is the subtitle. The filter was bad too . . . I guess you could’ve gone for something darker? Overall, the cover was messy and too full.

» Title :: ⅗

The title holds a concept that’s way too common. Now don’t get wrong, there ain’t anything wrong with common titles, but this one’s too known. You know what I’m trying to say? Be it the title of a book or just a
saying— it’s common. You could’ve tried adding your own twist to it? Or maybe choose a different title that’d suit the book better than the current one? Because as of now from what I’ve read, the book also has mystery as one of its sub-elements. I don’t think the title conveys that. It’s just all romance.

» Blurb :: ⅗

If I’m being completely honest, the blurb did not make sense to me. I did get the idea you were trying to convey, but the execution was poor. Sentence constructions could’ve been much better. Also, you should  provide more insight into the book so as to attract a bigger audience, just an extract will not do.

Beginning of a new start :: 7/10

There was this one part I came across in the chapter titled ‘Introduction’, when you stated that ‘Y/N is not a slut. To be frank, it was a really immature and ignorant statement. So what if the lad is beautiful? If a girl has big tits and a big ass with a beautiful face, does it make her a slut? Maybe it wasn’t your intention to imply that, but yes, that definitely is how it came out. And the thing is, the main character is the reader itself; don’t
you think it’d be a bit triggering Please make sure not to drop such sensitive terms so lavishly. Moving on to the actual topic, the first couple of chapters weren’t bad. All the genre-based elements could be executed in a much more appealing manner however. You could’ve cut down on the unnecessary details and scenes, and so many time skips doesn’t make it look good. I just feel that there were too many fillers rather than actual plot-building scenes. Of course, it could be because it’s just the beginning of the book, but
yes, it could’ve been better.

Concept and plot :: 20/25

I didn’t get much of the plot since there are only five chapters to the book. But from what I've read so far, it’s not bad. Not a plot that’s really common, but not something that I haven’t seen before either. If you improvise your writing style, along with all the other errors in the book, I think the book would be cool. However, like I mentioned in the previous category, some concepts you tried to convey came out really wrong. Wattpad or not, serious about writing or not, you should be extremely careful with your words. Again, refrain from dropping sensitive terms carelessly.

Characters and emotions :: 9/15

The characters were good. Though sometimes their personalities were a bit jumbled up, they were not so bad. Also, in the first chapter, you gave a brief of the main characters, didn’t you? It shouldn’t be like that, actually. You should convey each character’s personality only through your writing. Mere descriptions don’t
count. The emotions conveyed are still to be worked on. Building an emotional bond between the reader and your book is one of the most crucial elements of a story since it influences the book’s impression by tons. The emotions in this book weren’t conveyed properly.

Tone and style :: 06/10

The writing style is not bad. However, some parts of the book were really dragged up with unnecessary details, you know? Also, it could’ve been much better if you enhanced the words used by a tad bit. It should be too complicated, but it shouldn’t be too simple either. As of now, some parts of the book did get a tad bit mundane.Then, the descriptions. I don’t think you did a good job with it. You need to work more on describing scenarios and the emotions of characters.

Grammar :: 14/20

For the grammar part, you have to pay more heed to your tenses and articles used. If you decide to write in
past tense, you might as well stick to it. Don’t go from past to present and back again, it confuses the readers. For instance, let’s take the first and second paragraphs of the first chapter. If you notice it, the first paragraph is in the present tense, and the second one, in the past. I noticed that you capitalized some words unnecessarily in sentences. For instance, in the first chapter you say ‘You heave a sigh, Old memories that will never be buried.’ Here, the ‘o’ in ‘old’ was unnecessarily capitalized. You failed to capitalize letters that needed to be capitalized too (especially at the beginning of a
line in direct speech’).

At some points, you did not break sentences, you joined them using a comma instead. Now, it’s not wrong
to do that, but sometimes, the sentence as a whole will make no sense if you do so. When a line in direct speech is further continued in the form of narration, a comma should be used at the end unless it’s a question mark or an exclamatory point. In a book, you’re not to use tildes since they don’t really hold a value in the literature world. As of now, it’s only a mathematical value.

Total :: 66/100