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Thantophobia
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Author :: sparklyrooster

reviewer :: chemicalkrackel

First Impression :: 15/20

To be honest the whole slature of the book made quite an impact on me as I was flabbergasted to read it at any moment I find myself free. It had a strange pull that was enough to get me to read it slowly, in a motion where I'd simply savor everything that's penned down.

The cover was simple, a good simple, it had the dead vibes - the concept of dull luster where you know what you were signing for but there still was something that bored a corner of my mind, I don't really know how to point it out but whatever it was - it was unusual - the aura around it was quite off when seen from a non critical view and that sometimes setts off the opportunity of readers liking the first thing they see - cover.

I like the name, in all honesty, I don't see people really familiar with phobias or philes and when someone actually erupts with an idea that liking I get a deep convicting liking to it - and the aura around the book is also like the name's meaning - it sets a dark and menacing aura that makes you realize that this ain't your fairytale royalty.

Beginnings of a new start :: 5/10

A major downfall - the arrangement - I seriously love your book planning and idealistic approach and everything but while writing fantasy you also need arrangement in terms of getting your readers into the feels - the feels of offsetting royalties and their lush secrets.

The prologue can be arranged in the following outlet :

Thantophobia
(n.) fear of death or the passing of a beloved.

❝ when they were every bit of a sudden ravine, but I couldn't stop myself from the fall and then be stranded ❞

An empire standing over the edges of non relied trust and beheld beliefs of humanity, and a queen who believes in love and life but what is it about her that feels so sinful?

A warrior, the said former queen, with irises so different that outshine the glimmer of deities, worshipped as a goddess yet feared like a wolf; what makes her lose all human interaction?

Seven brothers, bewitching every human in their binding spell of love and kindness but yet they hold an aura as if everyone's unwanted but them, building barriers around their emotions.

The time arrives, the castle calls to the shadows, the mounted angels weep and the being twists his smile at Kienna when the great seven arrive for an alliance all of a sudden.

❝ you heard the high priest - it's about time my sweetheart. ❞

Marlah starts their doubts, the royal assembly under a different spell which they can't seem to wade out from. A magical journey that looks like a curse unfolding its labyrinth, a play in time, a believed betrayal forgotten with unsaid magic and the overwhelming fear to be stranded, and yes, the love of a rare half-human. a love story folded in mysteries of its own, a story for the wild souls.

I actually have advised the synopsis to be the prologue because it creates an unsettling feeling that triggers curiosity in the readers slature and as for the synopsis here :

A queen lost in space, torn down as a warrior, buried down by sounds of the evil, stands tall by the walls of Marlah, the kingdom now reigned by a soul of enchantment.

Bonded together in a knot of fate are two women nestling down the greats, and steps in seven endearing princes that stretch of nothing but malice, a whistling mask.

The kingdom has a befallen fate to discover but who will it be to take the blame?

Concept and Plot :: 25/25

I'd give you a full 25 for this one, the plotting seems planned, the suspension of mystery is endearing and traps one's mind in a daze, it's like living up the fantasy of solving a dark tale of royalties and forbidden magic. One doesn't know what comes next and that's what keeps the bond between the reader and the book.

A reader wants trigger adrenaline that fixes boredom and recites excitement and well congratulations you have amazed me with all the hampering elements bundled together in a beautiful piece.

Tone and Style :: 08/10

Your writing is ecstatic, it's pure bliss about how you maintain all the gestures of usage and yet bubble up something this classic and scandalous.

The tone used to glimmer the edges of writing is sharp and needed but what I'd like to pinpoint is to be more open to it - your words and phrases and everything - just lose yourself because while reading it I see great potential in improvisation - don't drag your statements and maintain a limit of words you'd plan on lending a character with.

Characters and Emotions :: 15/15

Your characters bleed suspicion and agony, the bleed a deep crimson paint that is embellished with a beautiful portrayal of revenge and hurt and forgotten memories.

I can easily find myself back in those setting times of Marlah and admire the queen or the warrior War is and yet again feel the rush of stepping over the malice Taehyung is and yet feel an urge to embrace the young prince after his doting hate for the former ruler.

It's beautiful and gets the reader in a knot whether to weep or be overjoyed - it's overwhelming and that's beautiful.

Grammar and Vocabulary :: 15/20

Here's the thing - check thrice before publishing, typos exist and Wattpad typos are one of the most annoying system crashes I have seen, and that ruins the fun of losing yourself into the shredding services you have laid out.

The best part is the vocabulary- it's indifferent and classically pleasing - used and topped with different words and plays it's a delight.

The offset is the grammatical errors, the ruin the fun for me - it's not like they are a lot in numbers but they are in an amount that can be easily located so the suggestion again makes an appearance - check thrice.

Overall :: The book lacks in areas where it clearly shows that you haven't been writing works such for a long period as the arrangement reminds me of a rookie - a rookie with potential and talent - and what I'd like to suggest is to use gifs that bring up the conception of the story and also try making the chapter layout a little epic - like the character introduction - use things like proportionate gifs that set with the characters and lines that give up the characteral vibe, for example, use a dark gif for Kim Taehyung's character intro as he is related to the realm of shadows :

Moreover, I'd like to congratulate you beforehand as your book is nearing 1k reads and I know it's an emotional milestone for a writer and I wish you all the very best for your coming plans and future ventures.

Total :: 82/100