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Serendipitous Heart
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Author :: blaze-bangtan

Reviewer :: Taebaetae74

First Impression :: 12.5/20

» Cover :: 4/10

To my eyes, the cover was a bit off. It was too hazy for my liking. The text’s color wasn’t very apt too- it doesn’t go well with the rest of the cover; the neon effect was a bit immoderate. You could’ve focused on the face claim more.

» Title :: 5/5

It was creative. Of course, I have come across similar titles before, but this one is related to the book. So yes, good job.

» Blurb :: 3.5/5

Overall, the blurb was good. However, there were some errors regarding the articles, punctuations and wordings you used. Firstly, the punctuations- mainly, the commas. Let’s take the first line for instance: “A life without you is a heart without its beats.” Here, you could’ve put a comma after ‘you’ for better reading-experience. 

Next, the usage of articles. In the second line (where you introduce the autistic girl) you missed out on the right usage of ‘an’ and ‘the’. This is the line as it is: ‘An autistic girl with the exceptional ability to see the world from the the perception of the untold truth proves to be the only bridge between the dreams and reality.’

First off, you accidentally doubled ‘the’ (before perception). Next, the article ‘the’, can only be used once the said noun was mentioned before. Hence, you cannot use it for the word ‘dreams’. Then, it should’ve been ‘an’ untold truth, instead of ‘the’ (since the ‘truth’ you’re talking about here, is not known to the readers). Lastly, there should be a comma after ‘truth’- it’s grammatically more apt that way.

Therefore, the sentence should’ve been something like this: ‘An autistic girl with the exceptional ability to see the world from the perception of an untold truth, proves to be the only bridge between dreams and reality.’

Excluding these errors, the synopsis was good.

Beginning of a new start :: 8.5/10

It was beautiful. I like how you referred to their solo-single-releases here and there because when most writers do it, they end up making it deplorable. But the lack of punctuations was evident. You are to use commas whenever you pause a sentence. Also, the wordings could be improvised too. Of course, your vocabulary is pretty strong, but the wordings need improvement. For instance, in the line ‘ ...like a moon among one million stars.’ (from the first chapter’s beginning), you could use ‘a’ instead of ‘one’. It’s more apt. such errors run throughout the book.

Other than that, I honestly loved it. Made me want to continue reading the book (let’s just ignore the fact that it’s because I’m a sucker for angst).

Concept and plot :: 24/25

I’m just going to refrain myself from using profanities to express my admiration for the concept and plot. You are seriously talented. I mean, like it’s insane (sorry, I have serious fangirling issues, but dayum you good). 

Alright, let’s get serious now. The plot was really creative and was executed very neatly with elegance. Not too simple but not too complicated. So yes, it was almost perfect. Almost. Pay attention to the details you provide, it should never be too much. 

Characters and emotions :: 14/15

Yes. Loved them. They were given a spotlight of their own and the development is evident too. 

However, I just want to point out something. In the second or third chapter, you had mentioned that BTS were like artifacts. Now, I know that it was supposed to be personified but I disagree with this statement. Of course, a lot of us say that they ‘walked out of a museum’ or that they are ‘sculptures of perfectionism’, but that’s all just the mood of drooling over them, you know? You cannot really personify artifacts to humans because... that’s just wrong. Artifacts are basically objects of admiration; or something similar to this. But humans are humans, not objects to be admired. My point is, I just found it a bit wrong. Just my opinion.

Tone and style :: 8/10

Ah well, being a writer myself, I really do admire the way you went around your words. But, at some point, I felt like you gave out too many unnecessary details. But excluding this, it was all good.

Grammar :: 17/20

You need to pay more heed to this category. Like I have already mentioned above, punctuations are a must. You need to pay more attention to where you need to use commas. Another thing I noticed is your use of semicolons. Basically, semicolons are used to relate clauses. But, at certain parts, you used a semicolon instead of a comma. For instance, in the first chapter, where you talk about their voices, instead of separating the description of each vocalist’s voice with a semicolon, you were to use a comma.

Other than that, it was all good.

Total :: 87.5/100