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Scars to your Beautiful
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Author :: BtsJeonku

Reviewer :: sprite_and_hamburger

First impression :: 4/20

The first impression is everything on Wattpad. People only read your book on the basis of your first impression. If your book didn't impress them then you can't expect them to read let alone open the book.

cover :: 2/10
The fanart you used for your cover comes under plagiarism because the designer stated that they don't want their art reposted. Before you say you gave credit in the description I would like you to read the rules about fanarts and plagiarism. Even if we ignore all this the pic you choose for the cover has nothing to do with your plot. The font you used for the username is catching all the attention and the looks empty. It would have been good if you choose a more suitable pic.

title :: 1/5
"Scars to your beautiful" this line itself is very deep so I was impressed with the title when I read it. It made me eager to read the book because I thought when the title is deep then the book will obviously be deep but I was so wrong. The plot and the title are irrelevant to each other. I read the book and couldn't find anything which can justify the title but there was none. You shouldn't just pick any deep-meaning word if they don't go with your plot. A title should be relevant to the plot and it should give an insight into the plot.

blurb :: 1/5
There's no perfect formula for writing the best blurb for the books but there are some important things you should/can include in your blurb. Introducing the protagonist in a way that creates intrigue without delving into details or referencing the central point of conflict without explaining how a resolution may come about is the best way to write a blurb. After reading your blurb I came to the conclusion that your book is about a broken girl with scars and a boy who made her know what love is but when I read the book I found no such things in the book. It seems like you were describing a totally different book. You have grammar mistakes in your blurb as well and you switched the pov after writing the dialogue which is wrong. Whenever you write a blurb please make sure the blurb reflects your book.

Beginning of a new start :: 3/10

The story starts with a girl (Y/N) planning to propose to a boy (Suho) but Suho rejected her on the spot. He said he doesn't like her and he was with her only because she was sick. Y/N left heartbroken and asked his father To change her school and then you changed your pov from 1st person to 3rd person without any notice. The change of pov wasn't needed in that scene, you could have just written it all first person.

The first chapter/prologue was full of grammatical mistakes and wrong punctuation but trust me it has fewer mistakes than any other chapter in the book.

Concept & plot :: 5/25

The story starts with Y/N who was in pain because of her heart condition. She went to her school and then her teacher announced that they have good news which turns out to be the entry of new transfer student Jeon Jungkook. The pace of the story is very fast, your flow is going like a bullet train.

There are visible plot holes in the book. Jungkook and Y/N saw each other in the class for the first time then suddenly the class was over Jungkook asked Y/N to show the principal office and the next moment Jimin came and said he wants her to meet his friend which was Jungkook. When Jungkook was with Y/N the whole time then how come Jimin met him?

You stated that Y/N changed her school because of Suho but then you said Jimin was her childhood best friend and with her since then. There was no explanation that he was already in this school or transferred as well. Y/N got the opportunity to dance with Jungkook which was apparently his second or third day in school and they accidentally kissed while practicing and they don't want to pull away? That was surprising.

I read the whole book and waited for a point where can sense the plot but there was none. It was like you were dictating your high school crush story to your friends without any break. There was no twist or actual plot, it was just paragraphs trying to look like a book. You need to know what the plot is, what was the purpose of this story? Was there any basic motto? I didn't find it so I want to know what it was because it was clearly not a story of the broken girl with scars. It's just the fact that she has a heart condition that's all. I want to ask something, what is the relation of the prologue with the story? After reading the book I didn't understand why the prologue is there in the book because it has nothing to do with the story.

There are many scenes where you narrated that something going to happen and the next paragraph that was already done. For example, Y/N was saying she was nervous about her performance and the next moment she was done with it.

↱❛ Tip: You need to lay out the whole plot first. Don't just write anything and please don't add anything which doesn't have any connection with the plot. You need to describe the scenes more and also give a background story about the characters as well. Don't let your readers think "why" give them a proper explanation.

Characters & emotions :: 1/15

Characters are the whole reason for any story. They can be used to help teach a lesson, to entertain, to educate, and even to persuade, depending on the author's goal for the storyline. Characters can be based on real people and events, or be totally unrealistic, such as space aliens. People become attached to characters as if they are real, may develop favorites, and relate to those that have faced similar situations.

Your story is running around Y/N and Y/N only. There wasn't anything for other characters. The way you were portraying the characters was fake. Jungkook and Y/N were mere strangers but you were trying to portray them in love with each other. Jungkook hardly knows who she is and he was questioning is what true love is? They haven't met more than 5 times and they already fell in love.

The way you narrated the story was far away from emotions, I hardly felt anything. There was nothing between Y/N and Jungkook but you were narrating they were feeling the love. It felt like Karen gossiping about two people and saying they were a couple just because they saw them together. No emotions.

↱❛ Tip: Try to make scenarios in your imagination and put yourself in the scenes. Think about how will you behave or react if something like this will happen to you. The more you try to make it real the more your story will become good. It can be a very good plot if you execute it accordingly.

Tone & style :: 4/10

Learning how to write dialogue can be tough for some without the right guidance. Without effective dialogue, even the best plot or book ideas will fall flat. Because if the dialogue is bad readers will put the book down. Maybe you don't know but there are some basic rules for writing dialogues. Each speaker gets a new paragraph. Every time someone speaks, you show this by creating a new paragraph. Yes, even if your characters are only saying one word, they get new paragraphs this is the most basic rule in writing and you clearly don't know about this. You were mixing all the dialogues in one paragraph which is wrong. You have to separate the dialogues.

You are narrating the story with short sentences, they are very short. When we read a sentence we read it without a break till period so reading your narration is like taking short breaths, it was uncomfortable for me. The paragraphs are inconsistent, some are long and some are short. There was no specific length for the paragraphs. The scenes lack information there was not much to read and the readers couldn't imagine the scenes properly.

Grammar :: 4/20

The book has lots of grammar mistakes like a lot. Just skim through the first chapter and you will find many grammar mistakes. There are many places where you capitalize the first later at the start of the quotation or didn't capitalize the first word after the question mark. If there is a continuous dialogue or the dialogue is after a verbal tag then you aren't supposed to capitalize the first later. The sentence structure was messed up. You have missed many words while typing.

You are mixing two different language styles in your book. There are differences between British English and American English but you are mixing both of them. You can't do this.

↱❛ Some rules for dialogues according to British and American English-

1. Writing a dialogue:-

British- use apostrophe (single quotation mark ') for writing the dialogue. Ex- 'I am Monsha'

American- use double quotation marks (") for writing the dialogue. Ex- "I am Monsha"

2. Punctuation marks with dialogues:-

British- Comma and periods should be outside of the quotation. Ex- 'I am Monsha'.

American- Comma and periods should be inside the quotation marks. Ex- "I am Monsha."

3. Dialogue tags:-
Same for both, outside the quotation marks and followed the same rule.

British- 'I am writing for you, Appi', I said.

American- "I am writing for you, Appi," I said.

There is plenty of wrong use of punctuation. You are missing many punctuation marks. The dialogues are missing commas or periods at the end of the quotation mark. When the dialogue is followed by verbal tags like 'he said', 'she mumbled', 'Jungkook whispered' then you have to put a comma at the end of the quotation mark. Example:

"You are finally here Y/N. I missed you." Aecha said. [Incorrect]

"You are finally here Y/N. I missed you," Aecha said. [Correct]

Maybe you didn't realize but you are using a hyphen (-) instead of the em dash (-) in many places. A hyphen (-) is a punctuation mark that's used to join words or parts of words [Ex: self-restraint ] and an em dash (-) is most often used to indicate a pause in a sentence. It's stronger than a comma but weaker than a period or semicolon [ex: "Wait! I forgot to tell you-" The door slammed shut between us and I missed whatever she was trying to say.]

↱❛ Tip: Proofread the chapter before uploading. It will help you decrease the mistakes. You can use any grammar app to check your grammar mistakes but please don't depend on it. Write your chapter and then check it with the app. Grammarly and virtual tutor is the best option for it. You can use Google docs for this as well. You can hire an editor as well, there are many editing shops available on Wattpad.

TOTAL :: 21/100