╭⋟───────────────╮
Players
╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: @BerryStrawberry12

Reviewer :: Author_Jenny

First Impression :: 15/20

Starting with the cover, it seems classy, the black and white contrast, grey and white to be precise, provides the cover a mysterious aura, and that's what I think you were going for. But it feels like the cover could be more creative and innovative from the aspect of the image used and the text styles. Your cover should be catchy enough to make the readers click the read button.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ You can go to graphic shops and order a cover for your book. This is just a tip, it completely depends on you of you want to do so or not. }

The title was not very intriguing but at the same time not very dull at all. I like how you have tried to draw alike between the theme of the story and the title. Yet, I have to keep in mind that I have come across books with the same title so it really doesn't allure me much. But I do see the potential of attracting readers that lies there.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ Since your book has the "cards" theme if I am not mistaken, you can have your title related to it. For example :- "Ace's Gambit" or "Queen of Hearts". Again just a mere suggestion. }

The blurb was short and 'to the point'. But I feel like you could have done better by avoiding words that are commonly known to all and being a little more clear and descriptive with your blurb. The way you write the blurb gives the reader an idea about the language that will be used in the book and makes them mentally prepared for the book, thus it should reflect only the best of your qualities.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ Instead of starting the blurb with a warning, you can start it with a dialogue that you have put at the end. Since you have already put the warnings on the end, I feel like the top one doesn't hold much importance }

Beginning of a new start :: 5.5/10

Since there was not really a chapter that I could put a 'prologue' tag on but the story started in a quite amusing way. And the first chapter went on pretty well but the next chapter that followed was slightly disrupting the flow. It didn't hold much importance in context to the whole plot and looked out of place, the plot seemed to fit in slowly in the third chapter, but I had to read it twice to connect the dots properly.

I realized that you said it was supposed to be a one shot book and thus it looked non contextual and I completely understand that, but from a reader's point of view it had put me into slight confusion and sort of broke the story's flow for me.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ Instead of having that chapter just focused on the female lead with side characters, you can put in slight segments or snippets in between that slightly reveal the plot, or probably an intriguing conversation that slightly exposes the plot. In this way, the reader's curiosity would be boosted and the chapter would have its unique significance }

Concept and Plot :: 16/20

The 'secret agent' trope is not too overused as the 'mafia' trope but I can not say that it's completely unique. The female character being somehow related to this whole situation is also predictable to a point. Yet, how the sequences are expressed throughout the book is very interesting and can certainly keep the readers on their toes. The way every action is sentenced is something that does portray abilities. The flow has been smooth except for the first few chapters as we have already talked about.

Your way of writing definitely suits the genre you are working on and seems like you have a clear idea about the functioning and trope that you have selected. Something that you need to work on though is your paragraph division, it seems to fluctuate throughout the story. Even though it might not be a serious point, yet it decides the outlook of your chapter. It should look neat and clean. Some sentences are too descriptive and I feel like it could be cut short and precise, especially when things like the backstory are being explained.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ You can try and divide the very long paragraphs into two. It's okay to not have the complete backstory explained in one chapter, the depths of the details can unfold gradually as the story moves on. This will keep the readers hooked on. }

Characters and Emotions :: 6/10

The way a character's emotions are being sentenced, majorly influence how well the readers are able to connect and relate with the characters. Although the female lead has the typical 'bad girl' vibes, there is something about her character that makes her stand out. Yet again, her traumatic background is something that gives the story a cliché turn. But as long as her character is relatable, entertaining, and righteous, it doesn't create a big disruption.

Although, throughout the story, we get into many details understanding the female character while the other characters, along with the male lead's emotions and its depth ness stays untouched. It's great if you are going to explore that side further in the future. A book should always have a balance between both the main characters and the reader should be able to understand both of them.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ Try to explain the emotions of both sides simultaneously, instead of just sticking to one. }

Tone and style 6.5/10

Relating to what I talked about just now, the way you stick to just the female character's point of view makes it difficult for the readers to understand the mentality of the other characters. They see the other characters and the actions through the eyes of the female character. I feel like a wider view here could be very helpful in better understanding. Other than that, I like how the story has been explained and the descriptive writing has helped in painting the scenario more clearly. Although I feel like the vocabulary could be improved.

When you explain things, you must have noticed that the dialogues become too long, almost a paragraph. It makes the story monotonous and takes away the excitement, readers might have been holding up. You trying to give your writing a humorous twist and I appreciate the initiative, even though it was humors in some places, there were few instances, where it didn't come out well and seemed forced upon the situation.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ While you write long dialogues, break them into parts and add action tags to it. For example, after writing two sentences you can end the dialogue with, 'as he went on explaining, the frown on my forehead got deeper, confusion evident in them' and then you can go on explaining and after a few sentences, cut it short again with an action. Try to change the POVs while you are writing or you can even go for the third person view if you want to. }

Grammar :: 17/20

There aren't very major grammatical defaults in the book, but there are a few that I have noticed. When you are capitalizing sentences, that is supposed to mean that the character is yelling and this, is supposed to end with an exclamation mark "!". The exclamation mark is not just used to express surprise but it is also used after sentences that are said in a louder tone like yelling or shouting.

In a few places when you are explaining the features of the characters you have used "-" in between the explanations and then you have used commas again as it should be so the purpose of "-" is not very clear to me. There is a place that you have written 'okay' as 'oookay', I suggest you to avoid that since it's not very formal. If you want to express the emotion of the character behind the dialogue, you can use dialogue tags for that, but don't try to influence the spelling for the same.

There are some minute punctuational defaults there and there, one of which I saw being continuously repeated in the first few chapters is "i". As far as I saw you haven't mentioned the intentional use of lower cases, and in some places you have capitalized "I" too, as it should. But then there are places that you have not done so.

{ Reviewer's Tip ~ Try proofreading your chapters thoroughly before publishing them, once you have published it, don't just leave it like that. Try to read them yourself every now and then, you might be able to catch on to these minute details if you do so. }

Total :: 66/100