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Phoenix : TPB
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Author :: MeherJin

Reviewer :: athenaxglamour_

First Impression :: 16/20

First impression of this book was that it was welcoming, inviting, and attractive to me. Especially the title and the cover. 

» Cover :: 8/10

It wouldn't be justice if I say that this cover isn't attractive because it covers all the potential pictorial portrayals of the plot. The font is alright as matching to the theme you want to convey. The more in depth view of this cover is below: 

1) explicit or direct view (the basics)

A good picture that is giving dark vibes of the story is there. Also, the title of the book with the author's name is present here. You even add a quote on it which is quite intriguing. Well done!

2) implicit or indirect view (how this cover relates to the book?) 

After reading this book, one could say this cover surely suits the vibe that you want to convey through it. Dark, mysterious, and sometimes depressing. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: The font style is good but it's quite invisible to the eyes when we first glance at it. It would be good if you improve its quality and make it look visible to your audience. 

» Title :: 5/5

The title you have for this book is creative, unique, and relevance is something that it screams for when we start to read this book more attentively. I love the way you explained its meaning in the beginning of the book. I believe we don't find books with such a title every step on wattpad. No changing required. 

» Blurb :: 3 /5 

I am not really satisfied with the blurb. It's not compatible with the title and the story you want to convey. Please don't use commas without rules unnecessarily. In a non-technical field, you got the introduction of the characters, a conflict which is quite enough when it comes to the blurb.  No need to add anything as your blurb is already very lengthy. But make your present blurb neater and less revealing. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip ::Follow the following format: 

-Quote 

- character's introduction (one paragraph) 

- Conflict (one paragraph/main issue of the book/theme) 

Don't divide the blurb into lines when you can tell one subject in one paragraph. 

Beginning of a new start :: 6/10

I was actually excited to read the book because of the title. The prelude that you mentioned in the beginning was a starting point of your plotline. But the moment I noticed that you are using scripted style (the dialogue style) that we basically use in plays not stories, all my enthusiasm went into a dust that I couldn't explain. We never use dialogue style in stories. I will explain it in writing style. But because of this single noticeable mistake, I wasn't able to continue your book for more than 5 chapters. But your vocabulary was good which is the plus point for you. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Make your initial chapters less lengthy because if they are too lengthy then readers might lose interest in your book. It's human nature that we like to read things in convenience. If you are feeding your readers scene after scene, dialogue after dialogue then they might not be able to keep up with your story.  

Concept and plot :: 19/25

As you know, your plot is still proceeding its journey so I don't have any final words for this book. Any conclusion before time would be unnecessary and cruel to the efforts that you are putting into this book. All I have to say is that your story is original, but you are just pacing it slowly either adding so many unnecessary events that won't even contribute to your plot or just not giving your plot a twist. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: Mastering a real plot is hard because even if you have a story in mind but you don't know how to shape it then that story is quite worthless. Go to Google and read "Aristotle's structure of a plot" as he explains very well what to do and when without making your plot too plain. 

Characters and emotions :: 12/15

Okay so this is where I felt that I should keep on reading your book. Your characters and emotion building was nice. It won't be wrong to say that your characters were making your story look admiring rather than the plot itself. Each character is real and their speeches are everything. But again the scripted style was making it hard for me to relate to them too. This style is quite artificial when it comes to writing a story. Keep on developing your characters more as the story is still going on. 

Tone and style :: 6/10

When it comes to your writing style, you need to work on the scripted style that you are following. Scripted style is a style that follows the following format: 

Mr.Han: This must be true. 

Yerin: I am afraid. (she looks at him) 

Such format is used in plays or dramas, not in novels or stories. Don't use it again in a story. You must change all of this and write your book either in first person or third person. Your whole book was this way and that's why I was unable to decide whether it was a play or a story? 

One more thing that I noticed was you using italics for the additional details. You can use italics for the thoughts of a character or flashback but not for additional details. You are using it and this is making your book look messy. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: Use third person perspective for your book as it gives you more authority as an author. You can take care of your words because the words are puppets in the hands of a writer. A writer must play with words according to his own will. 

Grammar :: 11/20

Needs improvement. Not as serious as some books demand for, but you need to take care of the following mistakes. 

Don't switch between tenses. If you are using present tense then use present tense throughout. Don't use the past one in between. 

Read the rules of commas. They aren't necessary everywhere. It requires effort but worth it. 

There are three dots in ellipses. Sometimes four in exceptional cases. Don't use two dots. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: I think if you look for the grammar mistakes I mentioned above, you can be good in grammar. If you need professional help for editing then go for it too. 

Total :: 70/100