[The Cover is changed so we didn't upload it.]

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Paid Wife
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Author :: bangtaeholic

Reviewer :: haefatima99

First Impression :: 13/20

Before jumping into the review, I would like to inform you that I have read your book before. I just read 6 chapters and ended up taking a break from Wattpad. "The first impression is the last impression" and the impression of your book from the cover, title, and blurb wasn't so pleasing for me. But we can't judge a book by its cover, so I wouldn't like to judge your ability by the cover. Let's jump into the review.

» Cover :: 5/10

The cover that you have on your book isn't giving justice to your plotline. Its pictorial quality is very low, which means you need to improve the quality of this cover. It seems dark, vague, and messy. The cover of any book can be critiqued based on two views:

1) explicit or direct view (the basics)
Your cover has a fine picture, a username, and the title of your book. From direct or explicit view, this cover needs no excluding or including. The area where you need to work on is the font because it's too plain and not matching your cover's background. I wasn't able to read your title and author name at first glance. It was because the color of the font is lacking contrast with the background.

2) implicit or indirect view (how this cover relates to the book?)
After reading your book, there is absolutely nothing irrelevant about this cover. Y/n is the 'paid wife" of Taehyung. This cover is giving a presentable inside about Taehyung's character. Cold hearted yet so soft for the love.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: They say that "Don't judge a book by its cover" but this statement is quite obvious because literally, everyone judges your book by its cover. Your cover doesn't fall under "attractiveness", and it's not giving justice to your book. I recommend changing this cover; you can order a nice cover from some cover shop on Wattpad. Also, this story revolves not only around Kim Taehyung, but Y/n is an important lead too. Give her a place on the cover, if possible.

» Title :: 5/5

If the cover is the face of your book then the title is the eyesm of it. I don't think that any other title is suitable for this book. The whole story revolves around a woman who is the paid wife of Taehyung. The major subject (theme) of the book is beautifully executed through this title. Also, "Paid wife" is a title that may seem just like another cliché title of any book, but your book is holding a lot of uniqueness with this trendy title. No changing is required. Good job!

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Not for this book, but if you ever decided to write another book then I will recommend becoming more creative with the title. Like selecting a title that your readers might have never heard before. It will add fuel to their curiosity. Use some french, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese language words that cover the main theme of your book. Just go on Pinterest and search words on the search bar. Like that, you could find some aesthetic words for your book that are covering the main theme of your book. Just a quick suggestion, the implementation isn't supported if you don't want it.

» Blurb :: 3/5

I believe the blurb is the arm of your book. If it's not penned down very well then the readers might not give a chance to your book. Your blurb is exciting, no doubt, as you are hooking up your readers with your words. But there are some technical and non technical issues too.

1) Technical issues
Be careful when you join two independent clauses with conjunction without using commas. For example:

[I lifted my knee high above the floor to the place between his legs[ and ]he was soon clinging to the ground. ]

There should be a comma before "and" as both are independent clauses.  I will explain this later in the grammar section.

Other than this, I found no issue in the technical field. Your sentence structure was simple yet nice, and your tenses were consistent in your blurb.

2) Non-technical issues:
From a literature point of view, every blurb has four important elements: Characters, Conflict, Stakes, Setting. Whenever I read a blurb, I notice these four elements. Your blurb is beautifully introducing your two main characters. This blurb comprises a conflict that tells us that the main female lead is unemployed and divorced. Also, she looks like Taehyung's late wife. Your blurb has a third element too, the stakes. What you need to add is the "Setting" of your book. The time when your story is going on. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: Here is a piece of brief information on four elements of a blurb. You can take a look at it and try adding them to your blurb to make it more presentable.

i- Characters: Who are the people of your book? what are their names? what kind of personality do they possess (in few words)?

ii- Conflict: What is the main problem that needs to be resolved in your book? Is this a case of murder? Is this a marriage that is faked to save a family? Is there any monster who is trying to possess the land of ice?

iii- Stakes: Very confusing yet so important. It's where you sign a contract with your readers that what can go wrong if the conflict (main issue) isn't resolved? The consequence of a decision.

iv- Setting: When your story is taking place? Is this the time of ancient Roman or Greece? Is it a modern tragedy? Or we have 2020 with a lot of romantic or non romantic touch? Tell it to your readers as it will help them imagine a better scenario for your book.

Beginning of a new start :: 9/10

The first few chapters of any book provide an introduction to the plotline, and your book is doing its job very clearly. I believe you introduced major characters: Y/n and Taehyung indirectly as their portraits were a true epitome of realistic characters which intrigued me. As a reader, the first three chapters hooked me up. I wanted to read more of your book.  But from an outward appearance, the first few chapters look too plain unless someone tries to read them. It's because you are lacking aesthetics that are very important to attract your readers. By aesthetics, I don't mean to use aesthetic symbols and stuff, but I want you to add some thrill like a Quote and a brief introduction of the characters. Other than that, I don't find any major issue with your first few chapters. They were neither too slow paced or giving all the insight of the plotline.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: You should add a brief introduction of the characters before starting the actual chapters. As your book already ended, you can use different Quotes of different characters rather than using just photos to introduce them. I believe it will intrigue your readers more, and they will be prone to read your book. It's just my suggestion, and you don't have to work on it if you don't want to.

Concept & plot :: 24/25

I really loved it, no doubt. Though from the title, it might sound like another cliché book but when we read this book throughout, there is nothing more beautiful than this plot. Your plot has a proper beginning, middle, and end. The uniqueness of subjects and the creativity of mind are overflowing with your own unique touch of writing. I believe people should give this book a chance and don't skip it as its plot and concept are offering a lot of pleasure to fanfic readers.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip:: I believe there is no change required in this area but if you still want to improve your book while editing. I will recommend reading "Aristotle's structure of a plot" on Google. It will enhance your mind more and you could make this book absolutely perfect.

Characters & emotions :: 13/15

I don't usually read the whole book while reviewing unless the book aroused my curiosity. But your characters were the true epitome of realism. They weren't some robots talking about robots rather they were humans just like us. I think that's why I was able to feel their emotions throughout.

Taehyung: He lost his wife; the flashback of his past with his ex wife which you included made my eyes teary. In the beginning, I thought that Taehyung would be like those cold- hearted main male leads. But later on, I found out that he has a weak side too. The flaw of a character that makes your characters feel like real humans are beautifully present. Also, his way of speaking is like a normal human not like a submarine in the ocean.

Y/n: Though I don't prefer Y/n stories as I believe second person point of view must be avoided for better characterization. But I imagined someone in her place. Her character is just like a woman I met a few days ago. A woman who is divorced by the person she loves. The qualities and flaws of her character are the right way to reach the reader's heart. Anybody would fall in love with her. I am not flexing; you made me so happy with your characters. I couldn't stop laughing over y/n thoughts over random things. It made me feel butterflies in my stomach and I felt hungry to read more.

As far as supporting characters are concerned, a writer usually forgets about them because their main focus is usually on major or round characters. But your supporting characters have their own personality; they are not left out in the race of major characters. That's a beautiful work well done. Good job!

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: If you ever decided to reflect upon "y/n" then I would suggest giving your female lead a name. The second person point of view is barely used as not everyone could place themselves in the place of "y/n" and that's the thing that causes issues for some readers.

Tone & style :: 7/10

As far as the writing style of your book is concerned, I noticed a few things that you need to work on. But your style is very unique, and you definitely know that we should put the thoughts of a character in italics. It makes it easier for a reader to differentiate between a thought and a dialogue. Just work on the below mentioned areas:

➥ Be more descriptive. Use more rich vocabulary to describe scenes. Scenes of love, passion, and hate. No doubt, you are already descriptive and I am very happy that you ain't using a telling card. But considering the potential of your book, I believe you can describe scenes more beautifully. Your book is a contemporary romance, so you must use more descriptive words.

➥ Avoid using informal words very often like "F*ck" or "B*tch". Their usage isn't wrong but we must avoid it in formal writing. Especially, when it's not dialogue then you must avoid it. Dialogues are quotations of characters, while speaking, we usually use these informal words too. But we just don't overuse them because some readers could find it messy.

➥ Redundancy is present in your writing style; it means the repetition of unnecessary words excessively. It can also indicate that an author is over describing the same situation again and again without reasoning. Notice the example from your book:

[Shoot, he's really crying. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?]

"What do I do?" is repeated five times in a paragraph. I guess you were trying to describe the hyperventilating situation of the character, but any more than three times is unnecessary. A normal human can't repeat this sentence five times in one breath. Be careful with redundancy.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: This book would be better if you use third person omniscient point of view. There is absolutely nothing wrong with using the first person from the characters' point of view, but sometimes, it's hard for readers to switch from one characters' to another characters' point of view. This was my personal suggestion to you. You don't need to follow my direction as I am not a professional. Plus, I know it's hard to edit the whole book in the third person once again. But save this suggestion for your second book which I believe you will write for sure.

Grammar :: 16/20

To my surprise, your grammar is better than many. I believe this would be my first time pointing out less mistakes in the grammar section. Your tenses were consistent, and you definitely know how to use commas correctly. The only issues I found are below.

1) verbal tags
When dialogues are followed by words like, "said" then we use a comma (,) before closing the quotation. Notice the following example from your book:

["Let's go, Taehee." Taehyung quickly said before she could further question my originality.]

You are using a period or full stop before closing the quotation which is wrong. So replace it with a coma, and you are good to go. In many places, you are using this rule right, but in some places, you are missing this rule out.

Also if the dialogue is followed by action words or verbs like "he laughed" then you are going to use a period (American) and full stop (British). For example, let's change the same example from your book by using this rule.

["Let's go, Taehee." Taehyung scoffed before he could further question my originality.] In this example, I replaced the comma with a full stop. I hope you get it now.

2) Comma splice
A comma splice is a common comma mistake when we join two independent clauses without using a semicolon or conjunction.

["He isn't like other dogs, he's quite friendly, right, Yeontan?" ]

He isn't like other dogs = independent clauses (making sense as a sentence).

He is quite friendly. Right, Yeontan? = Independent clause (making sense as a sentence).

You can fix it in three ways: Making a whole new sentence, adding conjunction and before conjunction a comma, and by adding a semicolon (;)

Edited version:
["He isn't like other dogs; he's quite friendly. Right, Yeontan?" ]

Other than this, I found no error in the grammar section. I believe you are very good at it, and you can improve just a tiny bit.

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: When you are editing your book, please lessen the use of ellipsis for the pause. Writers usually use it to indicate a pause in the dialogue or for the continuation of thought later but I believe it makes the presentation of your book messy if we are using it often. . Use an ellipsis (...) where it is required the most. Work on your verbal tags and I believe you need no editor to edit this book.

An extra note :: You are a very talented author as you made a simple titled book interesting. People should give this book a try so that you receive the love and support you deserve. I enjoyed this book as my emotions weren't consistent throughout. One moment, I was laughing. The next moment, I was sad over the character's fate. Some issues with grammar, cover, writing style have been pointed out. Work on them and then you are good to go.

Total :: 82/100